A Dangerous Desire

Dear Damon

December 2009

Dear Damon,

I'm not sure if any of my letters will reach you... but I'll continue to mail them. Enzo said your greatest fear was being forgotten. Hopefully, my writing to you even if it never reaches you will ease the pain of where you are. 

You probably won't believe this, but I never wanted this. I woke up one day and I was completely in over my head. That first day, I remember being so excited to see you, I was sure I would need someone to hold me back from walking right up to you getting on my knees, and taking you in my mo.... well I'm sure you get where thoughts were taking me.

I've made a mess of everything, and that's my fault, not yours. I was trying to save as many people as I could from unnecessary pain but I never stopped to think about how I would be hurting you. I never thought my intervening would derail your progress. You were supposed to fall in love, forgive your brother and mend your relationship with him, you were supposed to make great friends and it sucks knowing I'm the reason none of that will happen.

Part of me wants to drive to Tennessee and let you go but if I hate myself this much for hurting you... I don't know how I'd live with all the people you'd go on to hurt. They don't deserve that, it's only me who should suffer if you were to ever get free not anyone else. But something tells me you wouldn't be satisfied with only my blood.

I hope one day you will see what letting go of your anger would do for you, it would give you such a beautiful life.

all the best,

Sincerely,

Vee

January 2010

Dear Damon,

It's a new year full of new resolutions that no one will keep. You haven't missed much since you've been away, Stefan and Elena are still going strong, my brother started dating Caroline, and surprisingly my "mom" has stuck around. All things I know you couldn't care less about. 

Oh, we did find out you killed Bree, nice one. And by pulling her heart out, I never mentioned to Stefan that's how you originally did it but good for you for trusting your instincts I guess. Lexie was super pissed she wanted to come out here and torture you but we were able to calm her down.

Enzo left not long after locking you up, I'm sure he's out there somewhere killing off Whitmore's. Jeremy cheated on Anna with Bonnie, it was scandalous... apparently, it started over Christmas all because Elena had to hang mistletoe, one innocent kiss went on to spark something much bigger.

The way I originally saw it Jeremy cheated on Bonnie with Anna's ghost, don't ask it's complicated. Anyway, Pearl was ready to neuter Jeremy but Bonnie's Grams stepped in. She used a lot of magic defending Bonnie and Jeremy against Pearl and later the next day she passed away.

I guess you got another one back I spared from you... although to be honest I always felt it was unfair Bonnie blamed you for that.

I should go, I'm taking my GEDs later, I'd ask you to wish me luck but I'm pretty sure you'd wish I'd take a leap off a bridge.

I hope you're holding up alright,

Sincerely,

Vee

February 2010

Dear Damon,

Well you'll be happy to know I failed my GED, I'm scheduled to take it again next month hopefully it'll go better, but I thought if nothing else my failure would bring a little cheer to you.

Enzo called the other day, he calls usually just to say a rude joke he's learned and then hangs up but it's enough for me to know he's out there and okay. He was your friend once, and I know somewhere deep inside you he still means something to you, so hopefully, this is more good news.

The world I saw Enzo died, a couple of times, came back one fewer and dealt with a lot of pain. I hope where ever he is this new version of events is treating him a little better. Oh yeah, you might be interested to know originally Enzo and Bonnie were sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G, picture that... or don't.

I wish it was possible for you to write back so I knew what you were thinking, it's probably better I don't tho, I'm sure you must hate me. No sign of Katherine yet, she should have shown up by now, and it's making me anxious. Maybe because we killed so many of the tomb vampires they didn't draw too much attention that she felt she had to intervene? I don't know, it's the only thing I can think of.

I have to go I have a shift at the Grill, I know you and Alaric never got to be friends but I'm always still sad when I see him sat at the bar and your not next to him.

I hope one day I'll get to see it,

Sincerely,

Vee

March 2010

Dear Damon,

I passed! no more repeating High School for me, I am so excited. Matt was so proud and threw me a huge party. Well, I'm pretty sure Caroline planned most of it but he had to go along with it so I'm still giving him partial credit.

Still no news from Katherine but I have a feeling she'll be coming soon. Elena and Alaric both know about the connection to Isobel now and with Alaric and Jenna finally getting together it's made things a little awkward.

Bonnie is still depressed over the loss of Grams. She's been pushing everyone away including Jeremy and now Elena feels like she has to choose between being there for her and being happy with Stefan. Speaking of your brother, I thought he might have been joining you soon. He had a slip-up but a visit from Lexie was able to get him under control again.

It's not the same here without you, I almost miss your diabolic plans and senseless murders.

Hope your hanging in there,

Sincerely,

Vee

April 2010

Dear Damon,

I've decided enough is enough. I'm coming to free you... April fools! Too soon? Sorry, I'm sure if you're ever free you'll make me pay for that. So BIG news my mom is hooking up with my ex, Tyler. Honestly, I kinda saw it coming and I don't really care but Matt is taking it pretty hard. Elena managed to get in touch with Isobel so I'm sure it won't be long now before Katherine blows into town. Bonnie and Jeremy are officially done and I'm pretty sure he's using again.

To be honest I'm pretty bored and incredibly lonely. I miss Enzo... and you. I miss my mom, my real mom. Wanna know a secret? I'm not Vicki Donovan... and no this isn't another April fools. I'm not from this reality, I'm misplaced in the universe, and trying to keep everything together is driving me crazy. I want to go home and just watch you all when I turn on my tv, although I think after all of this I'd choose to binge on Scrubs instead.

Yup knowing you, you correctly put the pieces together, where I'm from all this is a TV show. Crazy, right?

You wanna know my favorite episode? It was Gone Girl, Katherine is dying and after possessing Elena's body and breaking your heart she's finally out of tricks. She comes back to be by her daughter's side as Nadia dies and then Stefan stakes her. She has to pass through Bonnie to get to the other side... except the other side isn't what takes her, no the legendary Katerina Petrova is dragged straight down to hell... it was pretty epic.

I know probably none of that made sense since due to me probably none of it will happen. I swear it's a wonder this reality still exists, surely my version has gotten so dull the show's been canceled right? I mean what's the Vampire Diaries without Damon Salvatore?

Anyway hope to see you before Katherine kills us all,

Sincerely,

Vee

May 2010

Dear Damon,

No Katherine but John came. Right, you don't know John, he's Elena's father-uncle and a giant tool. Seriously he makes Tanner seem easygoing. Anyway, he has this nifty ring that keeps him from dying... at least by anything supernatural and he hates all vampires.

I'll have to keep an extra close eye on Stefan now that you're not here to have his back. I'm sure if your reading this you're rolling your eyes wishing to stab him in the back but as a wise blonde once said "The Salvatore's might fight like dogs, but in the end... they would die for each other. At least they know what family means."

I'm sorry you didn't get a better family, you had an abusive Dad and a selfish mother. Oh right, you don't know what happened with your mom... perhaps it's better that way. I wish I was sent back to then, I would have protected you... kicked your asshole dad right in the balls and shave off your mom's eyebrows in her sleep. Yeah, I'm sure they would have made up an excuse to have me burned at the stake but it would have been worth it.

You were a good big brother to Stefan, I know he hasn't seen that yet or told you how much you mean to him but you do. He loves you.

Lots of people do, if you just stop hurting everyone the second you feel you might be rejected you would could see for yourself.

I really am sorry... for everything,

Sincerely,

Vee