Asleep *FINISHED!/COMPLETE*

*Chapter 6

CHAPTER SIX

It was July in Texas, and the light of the moon gave no way to the heat of its counterpart, even though darkness blanketed my surroundings. I was already sweating just making my way down the driveway, and the faint buzz of the insect nightlife rang out through the quiet neighborhood. As I approached the 10 ft. gate blocking the driveway, joined by its equally tall conjoining stone walls that surrounded the property, I briefly wondered how I would scale either one undetected. The fact that I was somehow able to escape the barbed wire lined fences of the orphanage, though, made this seem like child’s play with the consequences of failure much less dire this time. Especially with no monsters breathing down my neck, I thought to myself but still couldn’t help the glance I cast over my shoulder to verify that was in fact the case.

Steeling myself once more, I tossed my light backpack over the gate, and made my way left to the white washed wall that connected to it. I managed to get a foothold on some thickly grown ivy vines that tightly clung to and snaked up the sides, my right hand grabbing onto the ornate iron wrought gate entrance, and hoisted myself up and over the stone wall and to the other side. Funny how escaping through one fence less than 24 hours ago felt like freedom, and climbing this one felt like running. I just didn’t know exactly from what yet.

I jumped down on the other side of the wall, and started to make my way back toward the general store where I had met Jase earlier that day. I remembered seeing a bus stop caddy corner to the lot of the place I… borrowed from, and had verified last night that its route would take me where I needed to go. I would be returning the items or paying the store owner back someday… somehow. I had to believe that. To believe that there was a life out there for me that included being able to afford flip flops and making amends to red faced businessmen who worried over such things.

As I walked down the quiet street, I couldn’t help but wonder what Jase would do when he woke up to find me not in my room in the morning. What he would say. How he would feel. God only knows why I even gave it a second thought. Maybe because in those few brief hours with him, he had shown me more kindness than everyone in my life combined, save Z. But Z didn’t really count, as we were in the same crappy situation together all that time. You kind of have to form a bond of sorts to survive those things. But Jase. Jase didn’t have to do any of the things he did for me. There was no mutual reason or advantage for him to help me that I could see. Which honestly, sadly, made me question his motives even more. He didn’t have to protect me from Oren or invite me into his home. He didn’t have to make sure I had clean clothes and a warm bed… He definitely didn’t have to promise to come wake me up for breakfast with the brightest smile I’d ever seen in my life plastered onto his stupid, handsome face.

Uhg. What was I doing? Wasting time thinking of a boy who was just a boy and who probably had ulterior motives for all the kind things he’d done. A boy who would probably regret every ounce of kindness he had shown me ten fold, come morning.

With a sigh and a silent prayer for forgiveness, I lifted my eyes and pushed away all thoughts of the boy in shining armor, steeling myself for the journey ahead.

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I arrived at the bus stop at around 5 a.m., I’m assuming. I didn't have a phone. Or a watch. Or anything to really go by in terms of keeping time, but the drive time in Jase’s car from the store to his house seemed about right for 2 hours walking. The bus stop schedule said the first bus heading towards Fort Worth would arrive at 6:00 a.m. Now all I had to do was wait and pray that I could find Callen. And that he would remember me. What a silly thought though. How on earth could anyone ever forget someone so important, no matter how many years it had been? I reminded myself of that over and over again from that moment until the moment I arrived in downtown Fort Worth approximately 2 hours later.

I navigated my way through the busy, crowded city, hoping I was on the right side of town for the next leg of my journey. Note to self: get some money or find a job, then a car as soon as possible. Relying on others for transportation or walking everywhere was both exhausting and quite inconvenient. Not to mention the fact that my number one life goal was to make sure I relied on no one for anything. Ever.

I made my way down main street, then took a right on first avenue as I recalled the directions to mind that I had memorized from last night. The office that the website said he worked in was somewhere closeby. Only a few more streets to turn down and I should be there, assuming I was remembering correctly.

As I approached the ornate office building in the middle of the normally lively downtown area, which was currently calmer than normal in the morning Texas sun, I said a silent prayer hoping to calm my nerves. This part of downtown had historical aspects, with bricks lining the road before it turned into newly laid pavement farther down. There was a giant courthouse to my right that looked newly restored, and a row of tall buildings lining the street to my left, some towering higher than others. Some looked as if they were dropped in place after all the bigger structures had been built, as if they were specifically made to fit the small spare spaces in between nicer, more costly architecture.

The building I was now facing was about 4 stories tall, with each level lined nearly completely with pristinely washed windows, tinted in a metallic blue hue I’m assuming to reflect the sun and protect the privacy of those who occupied its space. I stood at the bottom of the stone steps that led up to the entrance of the building, frozen in place. I couldn’t will my legs to move. Maybe this was a mistake. I looped my thumbs around the straps of my backpack and rocked back on my heels, blowing out the breath I didn’t realize I’d been holding. I could do this. I had to do this. Callen was the only family I had left in this world. We were blood. And when you spent your entire life not knowing one single person who shared that with you, the drive to find that became one of the heaviest and strongest pulls in the world.

Besides all of that, I had questions. I needed to know why he left me. Why he never came back for me. I just wasn’t sure if I was ready for the answers. Even if it turned out he had actually abandoned me like Stone had told me since I was 10. Having answers was better than not knowing. At least that’s what I told myself to get my legs to start moving as I made my way into the lobby entrance of the office building.

The lobby was deceivingly larger than it looked from the outside, seeming to take up the entire front half of the first 3 stories of the building, its ceiling at least 30 feet high and lined with an intricate pattern that matched the one in the center of the lobby floor. I felt very small and child-like as I approached the large help desk to the right of the row of elevators, which were a straight shot from the entrance.

A mousy woman with graying hair was clacking away on her computer. She spared me a brief glance over the brim of her glasses, the beaded chain that secured them around her head swaying a little.

“Are you here for the AA classes?” she asked, not bothering to look up again.

“AA?” I paused, trying to process what she was asking and questioning if I had the right building.

“Defferred judification, dear,” she sighed, this time giving me her attention, her eyes passing me up and down in assessment. When I still didn’t respond, she continued with another sigh. “Did you get into some trouble with the law? And now you have to come take a class to get it off your record?”

“What?” I asked in confusion. Maybe I had the wrong building after all. I looked around and crossed my arms protectively over my middle, suddenly very self conscious with how this woman was looking at me, judging me.

“Umm.. no. I am here to see my…” I paused, biting my lip as I contemplated how to even ask about Callen and wondering what information I should give, if any. I settled on trying to stand a little taller and look a little more like I belonged right where I was standing, as if I wasn’t a homeless, runaway mess of a girl. Especially one that gave off a gets-in-trouble-with-the-law vibe, apparently.

“I’m here to see Callen O’Dellan.” I almost said ‘Mr.’ instead of his first name, but it felt odd to call him Mr. when he was my family. I also hoped it made me seem a little older. More confident. I doubted she’d let the AA goers take a stroll up to visit the fancy senator.

“Hmm…” She pursed her lips and quirked her eyebrow at me before finally looking at her computer again. She began clicking and typing here and there, a puzzled look on her face, before glancing back up at me. “Do you have an appointment?” she asked, with that one eyebrow raised in suspicion. A look she likely practiced in the mirror for randos like me.

“No, ma’am.” I tried to sound polite, hoping to ease her slight rudeness. They say you catch more flies with honey than vinegar, so why not. “He told me I wouldn’t need an appointment,” I lied, though I kept my voice light and sweet.

“Hmm…” She turned her face back to the computer screen, clicking and scrolling again for a few painful moments. Her aged eyes were squinting, accentuating the wrinkles there, and I tried not to let anxiety take me over as I waited.

She blew out a breath and sighed. “Well, honey, I’m sorry to say but Mr. O’Dellan is a very busy man. He’s next in line to be senator, you know?” She had this strange, loopy smile on her face when she said that last part, as if lost in a weird daydream over him. Gross. “Anyway, he’s got a full schedule today and I’m afraid he has no time to spare for a walk-in meeting. I can take your name and number and have him call you if you’d like?”

I bit my tongue, forcing myself not to beg and pretended my feet were glued to the floor to keep myself from running. Either out the door or up the stairs. I wasn’t sure which way I’d end up going if I allowed my legs to move of their own admission.

Knowing I didn’t have a phone he could call, and battling a strange uneasiness at the thought of leaving my name, I struggled trying to figure out what exactly to do next. I wasn’t sure why, but I was not expecting this. I had imagined finding Callen over and over again in my mind throughout the years, and this woman was not a part of any of those scenarios. In fact, there was no such scenario where I couldn’t just walk right up to Callen and say ‘hi’ or ‘long time no see’ or slap him in the face. The imaginings of this moment had varied greatly depending on my mood at the time.

Noticing my internal struggle, she offered, “Or you could call up here tomorrow and see if you can schedule a meeting with him? I only have access to his calendar for the week and he is fully booked, but his receptionist could probably pencil you in sometime later in this month or next?”

My eyes snapped up to the woman. This month or next? Was she for real? What was I supposed to do in the meantime? Waiting a whole month to see him, especially knowing Oren was out looking for me, was not an option.

Without my permission, tears sprang to my eyes, sharp and stinging, blurring my vision. I blinked rapidly trying to will them away and decided I knew which direction I would be running when I turned away from her curious stare. I bolted for the front doors, realizing I couldn’t breathe right that moment, with the weight of my circumstances pressing down on me.

I didn’t stop running until I made it around the corner of the building, hoping she wouldn’t follow me or worse, call the cops. Stone had people working for her on the police force. Not many, but enough that they would have their eyes and ears open looking for me.

I leaned hard against the side of the building, crouching slightly and putting my hands on my knees, struggling to get a deep breath. Sobs were rising up in my chest, threatening to break loose if I allowed them. But I wouldn’t, I couldn’t. It didn’t matter that I was homeless, penniless, and utterly alone. It didn’t matter. I was free. I am free. I am free. I am free.

I spoke the words in my mind over and over again, trying to calm myself and shove all the weakness and sadness back down deep where it belonged. Locked away in a box, with a chain around it and an anchor to keep it down when I sent it back to the depths from where it came. Hidden. Out of sight. Not open in the light for everyone to see and potentially exploit. Not letting anyone see how I truly felt or know my internal struggles was a superpower of mine that I cherished. It made me feel protected. Safe. Strong. Like no one could hurt me as long as I didn’t allow it. Not even Callen.

Finding my strength, I stood tall and swiped at the few stray tears that had managed to escape. I didn’t know what I was going to do, but I would figure something out. I always had and I always would. Life was always moving, always changing, and I’d be damned if I stayed still instead of moving with it.

As I exited the alleyway and turned right so as to not pass back by the windows where the help desk sat, I made my way to the closest street corner. I wasn’t sure exactly where I was headed, but my plan at that moment was just to walk until I couldn’t anymore. Or until I figured out a genius plan to solve all my problems. Whichever one came first.

With my hands stuffed in the pockets of my cutoff jean shorts, well, in Karis’s shorts, I made it to the stoplight and pressed the crosswalk button with my elbow. As I waited for the traffic light to turn red and allow me to cross, a wonderful smell made its way to me, my stomach growling in response. Across the street there was a little cafe with outdoor seating and a chalkboard menu on the sidewalk highlighting their breakfast specials. What I wouldn’t give for one of their ‘Santa Fe Omelettes’ right now. I closed my eyes and inhaled, trying to imagine what the food tasted like, as if the smell could somehow fill my stomach on its own.

Lost in my imaginary breakfast, I realized the timer had been ticking down on the crosswalk and I jumped. I quickly moved forward to hurry across the street before I lost my opportunity and had to wait for the next light.

As I stepped out into the road, I noticed a group of men coming my way dressed in nice suits and fancy ties, likely walking back to their offices from a nice breakfast. They probably all had fancy cars and trophy wives… and high cholesterol from all the “brunches” they enjoyed. They were also probably all sweating in their high dollar suits. The last thought made me chuckle to myself as I sidestepped to move around them. They didn’t even seem to notice I was in their path and probably would have run right into me had I not moved. I rolled my eyes as I passed them, knowing they wouldn’t notice or give me a second thought, and then my breath left my lungs in a rush.

One of those men was Callen.