Rockstar Daddy

Book 4

Chapter Eleven

Carla

Why did he leave? I couldn't figure it out. He didn't so much as wake me to kiss me goodbye. Or to say goodbye. Or just to wave as he snuck out the window or whatever it was guys were doing these days. It made me want to scream with frustration. Why did he leave?

I couldn't believe it. I had laid myself bare for him last night. I told him about my feelings, about my daughter, about everything. And he'd just snuck off like a thief in the night, leaving me to wake up alone and sad. He had said that it had been a mistake not to fight for me. So why wasn't he fighting for me now? Was it one big, drunken lie?

I stayed in bed until Tara came into my room, hoping on top of me in her best rendition of a leaping lizard. She was funny like that. Looking at the clock, I realized it was nearly noon. I had the next two days off, which was fortunate, I wasn't used to getting two days off in a row. It was practically luxurious.

I pulled my little bugaboo into my arms and took us out to the kitchen. Because I was feeling like being loved, I made Tara pancakes. She'd be my best friend for the rest of the day because of that.

I checked my phone to see if there were any missed calls. Even a text.

Nothing.

Sighing, I poured myself a cup of strong black coffee and sat down at the table with Tara while she ate.

“Aren't you having any, mommy?” she asked, smacking her lips, which were covered in marple syrup

I shook my head. “Mommy's not feeling very well”

Her eyes grew heartbreakingly wide. “Are you sick? Do you need a doctor?”

I chuckled, reaching across with a napkin to clean off her face. “I've just got the blues today, hon, but I'll be fine”

“You always sing to me when I'm sad, do you want me to sing to you?” she asked.

I smiled. “Sure honey. Finish your breakfirst first though, okay?”

After breakfast we watched Frozen together, because it was Tara's favorite movie and I was really all about pulling in the cuddles. She cuddled up to me as we sang along, laughing when I did the voices of the male characters in a deep baritone.

It was a good day. It helped that no matter what went on in my life, my little Tara would always be there for me.

In the early afternoon, Corinne arrived. She had very graciously agreed to babysit for the whole day and late into the night. She was a peach like that. Also, though, I think she just loved Tara, no matter how much she complained about how she was a little rascal sometimes. There wasn't anything not to love with that little girl. It left me wondering, still, why the hell Jason had just run off that morning.

I made my way over to the Hewtone- Arbour Falls' nicest Hotel- to meet up with Chelsea and the other girls on the bridal party as planned. We were booked in at the spa all afternoon getting primped, then we were headed out on a limo ride over to the next town, where we'd probably do and act very unlady-like.

When I arrived at the hotel, I was suddenly very glad I'd gotten over my pride and allowed Chelsea to pay for my day. The stunning marble colonnades and gold lettering on the signs told me one thing; I couldn't have afforded it otherwise.

By the time we had finished our lengthy beautification regimes, we were all happily buzzed and in a cheery mood. A call to Chelsea's cell indicated that our limo driver had just arrived, and we all raced downstairs to the lobby. People stared at us as we walked by and we bathed in their attention. That was strange for me. I'd never been an attention-bather. But for the first time in a long time, I felt sexy. I felt like my happiness was beaming right out of my face and I welcomed everyone for miles around to see.

I'd never been in a limo before. Chelsea and I had shown up to our prom in the beat up Crystler convertible I purchased whe I turned sixteen for five hundred dollars. I loved that car even if the moisture used to get inside during the winter months and make all the carpets soggy. I doubt I would have been any prouder rolling up to prom in a limo then, but I was happy we were in one now.

“So” I said to Chelsea once we were inside. “What's Robert upto tonight?”

She grinned. “His british friend Travis is in charge of all the festivities and I have a sneaking suspicion they'll all wind up making utter asses of themselves. They're going out clubbing in Arbour Falls”

I snorted. “They're staying here? We only have like....two bars”

Chelsea laughed. “I know, right? Travis doesn't seem to understand that. Where he's from, there's a pub every two blocks.”

“Just means we get the town all to ourselves!” Jasmine declared. “Now let's get out there and hit it!”

And hit it we did. I lost count of how many shots we took. How many bars we frequented. I had a feeling that I wasn't the only one enjoying an unusual amout of freedom. I supposed that living the lifestyle of the rich and famous meant that it was hard to let loose.

It wasn't until the second bar that the Jason problem came to hit me in the face.

“Hey, Carla.” Chelsea said pulling me off to the side while we were dancing. “Did something happen with you and my brother?”

Almost instantly I became sorber. “Why would you think that?”

I kept twirling my hands and bopping to the music, trying to seem nonchalant.

“I dunno, She slurred. “Just like....the way he asked about you the other day.”

“He asked about me?”

Apparently I actually was still drunk. That was the kind of question only stupid drunk Carla would ask.

Chelsea's eyes gleamed with mischief. “I knew it! something did happen.”

“Do you want to get some air?” I asked

She nodded and followed me as I made my way through the crowd. When we reached the cool night air, I walked down the pavement a little, and then leaned against the rough surface of the clubs outer brick wall. It was like times like these that I almost wished I really did smoke.

“So?” Chelsea asked, pressing a hand against her hip. “What's up with you two?”

I was drunk. I was feeling very sentimental. I was also so happy to be back with my bestfriend, whom I used to tell everything to. So, of course, I told her everything. The Cole's Notes, anyway.

When I was done, Chelsea was swaying drunkenly in front of me, a tiny smile on her lips. “I always suspected” she said.

“How could you possibly suspect that?” I asked. “I've never even told you I have a kid before?”

Chelsea laughed, the force of it forcing her to stumble backwards a pace. “You still live in a small town, my love.” She replied. “Just because I don't live here anymore, doesn't mean I don't get the gossip. I knew about Tara.”

It wasn't that I had been lying to cover up my daughter's existance or anything. I wasn't ashamed of her or anything like that. I just omitted the information because....well because I think I didn't want anyone to ask about the father, more specifically for Chelsea, I didn't want her to feel bad for me. I was happy with my life.

“But how did you know that Jason and I...?”

Chelsea winked at me, tilting forward and turning to bump against the wall. She leaned into my shoulder and rested her head against mine. “I saw the way he looked at you toward the end of high school” she said. “Then after grad you were so....I dunno. Weird. Sometimes happy, ther times sad. All for presumably no reason.” She poked me in the arm. “I figured it could only mean one thing. Then when I found out you had a baby, I did a little math. And here we are!” She shot her arms up to the sky.

I turned to her, my drunk eyes weaving over her face as I tried to focus on hers.

“Why didn't you say anything?” I asked

She shrugged. “I figured that if you wanted me or anyone else to know, you would have told me. I wanted to give you time”

I felt like crying. That was exactly like Chelsea- no judgements, no confrontations, just pure happy acceptance. God, I had missed her.

I pulled her into my arms and pushed my face into her hair, squeezing her tightly.

“Thank you”

She laughed, rubbing my back. “So what are you going to do?”

“What do you think I should do?” I felt so good to be able to tell someone finally. I had badly wanted advice, but there was no body I could talk to. Not anyone. A huge weight was lifted from my chest.

“Well, I don't think Jason wants to be out of the picture,” she said

“But he left without saying anything,” I countered

“He's an i***t, but he's not an asshole. I don't know what his game plan is, but rest assured he's figuring one out. That's just what he does”

I considered that for a moment. “Should I call him? Or am I just drunk?”

Well, I was definitely drunk. I very much wanted to call Jason, I wanted to leave a soppy voicemail on his phone declaring my feelings for him. I wanted to tell him that I missed him, and invite him to sleep over after his bachelor party. The question was not weather I wanted to, but if I should.

“That's upto you.” Chelsea replied. “I'm way too hammered to help you out here man.” She began to laugh in the particular way that I had affectionately named her “drunk cuckle” many years ago. “I'm going back inside now though,” she said. “I think I'm gonna go grind on Ashley. She hates that”

She toddled back inside, leaving me to stew in my thoughts. And damn, were they all over the place. I wanted to call. I really wanted to call. But would that be a mistake? Where were the sober people to give you advice when you needed them?

I knew what I had to do. I pulled my phone out from my clutch, dialled in his number, and put my ear to the receiver.

Chapter Twelve

Jason

Travis seemed to have a hell of a night planned for us. From the moment the limo picked me up, I knew that something crazy and weird would be happening tonight. I didn't know what that could possibly be, seeing as we weren't leaving Arbour Falls and there weren't exactly many opportinities to get into trouble but the air seemed to have that crackle of electricity in it that tells you things are about to go down.

I did not like Travis. I thought he was a total jackass, and he always seemed to be trying to outdo himself on his outlandishness. That he was really going for gold tonight was evident by the fact that the t-shirts he had me pick were not only horrible to look at, but way too small to be worn in public.

“I don't get it” I said to Travis in the lobby of the hotel. It was the first time I had pulled out the shirts to inspect them. We were waiting for Robert to come down and let us into his room. “What is the point of these shirts?”

“It's to let everyone know what we're about!” he proclaimed proudly

“We're just a bunch of lads out having the bants for Robert's stag do.”

“I don't know what that means,” I growled back. That was another reason I didn't like Travis, he'd been living in Los Angeles for the past fifteen years but insisted on using British slang in every possible situation.

“Robert will love it” he said. “Don't Worry”

***

Robert did not love it. He put on a smile when Travis handed him one but he was less than impressed. I wasn't sure how and why Travis had become thye best man- presumably because he had been the only one available- but I could tell Robert was now regretting giving him the position.

“It's a laugh, yeah?” Travis asked.

We were all seated around the hotel room, just getting ready to leave, and had each received the shirt that was ours. I looked over at Travis, hair plastered with gel, and wondered if he'd leave if we all declined the shirts. I hoped so. Travis and Matt, Robert's two other groomsmen, were snickering to themselves.

“I don't really want to attract any media attention, though, is the only thing” Said Robert. “And these shirts are not exactly subtle.”

He held his up. It could cover perhaps cover half of his torso. Travis had left subtle behind ages ago.

“That's fine you don't gotta wear it” said Travis, clearly in a huff. “Just thought it would be fun”

Robert looked over at Travis and smiled. “I appreciate it, Travis,” he said. “Maybe next time”

Travis looked over angrily at me, as if he blamed me for the shirts. I simply glared back. We were off to a good start for the evening. It began to seem like the craziness I was feeling was more like the flickering of rage in the air.

Nonetheless, we drowned a couple of beers and then headed to the limo. Once there it seemed like all had been forgotten. We were laughing and chatting like old friends and teasing Robert about his upcoming nuptials.

Since we were staying in town, there were only a couple of bars we could go to. The first was, coincidentally, the crappy bar that Carla worked in. She wasn't there, obviously, but it made me think of her.

Apparently I wasn't the only one. “Hey that friend of Chelsea's works here, right?” Robert asked.

“Is she hot?” Travis butted in. “Is she working tonight?”

“She's in the wedding party.” I said lowly, suddenly angry. “So no, she's not here tonight.”

Travis sensed my irritation but didn't step off like a normal person would have. It was then I realized I'd made a vital mistake. “Oh, you like this bird huh?” he teased. He poked me in the shoulder and it took all of my will not to c***k him one in the jaw.

Apparently I was the angry kind of drunk tonight.

“she's an old friend of mine” I replied, trying to erase the anger from my face.

Travis guffawed, making a big scene. “Ah! Old Jason here's got a crush!”

“Cut it out, man,” said Robert...

By then I'd had enough. I had the overwhelming desirev to punch out Robert's bestman, so I figured it was a good time to go outside for some air.

Robert followed me out. “What was that about?” he askes, lighting a cigarette. I gave him a withering look but he simply shrugged. “It's my bachelor party, I'll smoke if I want to”

I chuckled and leaned back against the cement wall, turning my eyes skyward. Even though we were technically down town, there still wasn't enough light polution to lock out the stars. I'd always liked that about Arbour Falls.

“Travis's pissing me off” I replied.

Robert took a long drag of his cigarette. “I sensed as much. It's not like you to get pissed off over a girl though”

“I'm pissed because he's acting like a d**k,” I said. “It has nothing to do with her”

He smiled. Blowing a cloud of smoke in my face. I coughed and batted it away, taking a step back and fixing him with a glare.

“What the hell was that for?” I asked

“I'm about to lay some caterpillar wisdom on you, Jason,” he said. “Blowing smoke in your face was a requirement”

“I don't know what you are talking about”

“It's from Alice in Wonderland” he said, seemingly shocked that I hadn't understood his reference.

“Whatever” he continued “Just listen up; there's something going on between you and this girl. Or there was at least. I don't know what it is, and I don't need to know, but dammit Jason, figure it out”

“That's your version of a wise catepillar?” I snorted

He took another inhale and shrugged. Blowing the nose out of his nostrils, he said “You could write a song about it”

I laughed

He stomped out his cigarette, saluted me and walked back inside, much more straight back and assured than I would have expected.

I hung out in the residual cloud his cigarette had left, and thought about my options. Disappearing out of my daughter's life was simply not one of them- it never had been. And I was beginning to see that me disappearing from Carla's life wasn't an option either.

I fished my phone out of my pocket and dialed.

Chapter Thirteen

Carla

My head was exploding. Of that, I was certain. There was simply no other way to explain the amount of pressure that I felt inside my skull. I begun to blearily open my eyes, peering around my room. I was in my own bed, at least. I hadn't stayed at the hotel, even though Chelsea had offered. I doubted Corinne would forgive me for sticking her with my child all night. I looked over at the clock on my side table. Seven a.m. God I hated drinking; now I remembered why. I was one of those people who found it nearly impossible to sleep in the night after the night out. So now I would be up for the next few hours, but still too crappy to get out of bed.

The life.

What did I do last night? Apart from a lot of shots, of course. Oh god. Shots. My stomach coiled and I turned over on my side to attempt to ease the nauseous ache settling into the bottom of my throat. Why?

Did I call Jason. Oh god. The panic settled in now replacing the sick brand of nausea with something completely different. I pulled out my phone and looked at the outgoing calls. It looked like I had tried to call him but I'd missed off one number. After that I'd given up.

Good.

I couldn't take that kind of thing today. Not on this, the day of my best friend's wedding. Oh dear. How was I going to be any use at all when I felt sick as a dog?

***

By noon I was starting to feel a bit better. I'd had a long shower and eaten some plain toast. Then I'd napped with Tara for a little bit while she watched cartoons. She didn't seem to mind. Then I was greeting Corinne at the door, who had become my knight in shining armor with all of this wedding business, and it was time for me to leave.

The wedding was at the same hotel as I had driven to the night before which was good because I had left my car there yesterday. I managed to grab a ride with Chelsea's mother, who was incredibly nice and cheery the whole way? She didn't talk much but seemed to have this light in her eyes that indicated she was having the best day of her life. I supposed that was what it was like when you were getting ready for your daughter's wedding.

Chelsea was bouncing in the lobby like she had the day before. She greeted us each with a big hug and led us up to the hotel room.

The ceremony was scheduled for three so we didn't have any spare time. I checked out myself in the mirror only two minutes before we left, which was a risky move. If I'd hated what they'd done with my hair or face I would have no time to fix it.

Luckily, I looked stunning.

My blonde hair was knotted in an elegant chignon, and the hazzel in my eyes really popped with shadow and liner they'd chosen for me. The dress fit me as if it were made for me, and was as silky purple halter. I commended Chelsea for picking out bridesmaid dresses that weren't hideous.

Though, looking at her, I knew that there would be nobody at the wedding who could possibly outshine her. She was positively radiant in her white satin gown with cascading ruching and a big ballroom skirt. Her eyes sparkled as we headed to the ceremony space.

I was incredibly jealous.

As we approached the doors, I remembered that I was due to be walking up with Jason. Oh crap. I was suddenly very glad that my call to him hadn't gone through last night.

Chelsea waited behind as the bridal party arranged ourselves in preparation to go in.

As I walked up to Date, I was suddenly very glad I was wearing my ugly mom shoes. My legs were shaking so hard that I didn't think I would have made it if I were in heels.

He looked amazing. All the roughness of his look had been scrubbed and shaved away. Normally I loved his rugged charm, but today he looked like a prince from a fairy-tale, and that was certainly working for him too.

“Hey” he greeted.

I pretended not to notice him, even as I took his arm and begun to walk through the doors to the aisle. The crushing reality set in on me. I felt rejected, still, but now it was also mixed with a certain amount of self-pity, based entirely on the fact that walking down the aisle with Jason was something that had been a girlish fantasy of mine since high school.

But never like this.

I tried to back up. It was my best friends day. She'd been nothing but kind to me since she got home, and being a sappy sadsack for her wedding was not the way to repay her. I kept my head high, and walked to the alter with Jason, trying not to think I could already smell him. He smelled heavenly.

We parted at the top of the aisle, and took my place beside Matt. I could tell that Jason was staring at me from across the aisle, but I chose not to take note. I did chance one look- only one- but it wasn't him that cought my attention.

Chapter Fourteen

Jason

Carla was clearly mad at me. That much was abundantly clear. I hated that. I hated how much I had screwed up. After getting my ass handed to me by my mom on the phone last night it had become very clear just how far I had put my foot in it. I should have never snuck out that morning.

I don't know why I had ever thought that was a solid idea.

I tried to keep my eyes off of Carla as much as possible while the ceremony was in progress.

My sister was absolutely stunning, and I couldn't decide weather it was more from her dress or her smile. But Carla looked gorgeous, and was starring at Chelsea and Robert with the kind of smile plastered on her face that I knew was fake. She had been as cold as ice to me on our walk up, and thanks to my mom I knew exactly what was the matter with her.

I was.

Yeah. I knew that it was normal for me to have needed some time to process everthing that happened between us. But god, did I ever feel like an ass. I tried to communicate that to Carla with my eyes from across the alter, but when finally looked over she wasn't even looking at me. Weird.

After the ceremony there was a cocktail hour, but the wedding party was pulled away for photographs the whole time. I was starving. Why was there never enough food at these things?

Carla made a point avoiding me, and before I knew it I was being ushered off to the side by my extended family to sign cards and take photos. I lost her in the crowd after that.

Finally it was time for dinner. She was seated directly beside me. It was finally my chance.

“Hey” I said.

Carla's eyes flitted across me briefly. “Hey.”

“Listen, I-”

“I don't want to talk about it right now, Jason,” she said. “ I'm trying to enjoy Chelsea's wedding. You should too”

She didn't look like she was enjoying anything.

“Carla-”

The look she shot me could have melted bones. “If you bring it up again, I'll leave” She growled.

I backed off, but it sure made me smile when the fierce side came through. People had made the mistake before of underestimating her because she was pretty and tried to smile at people's jokes. But cross her and she turned into a whole new kind of creature; like an avenging angel. She must had been one hell of a mamma bear with her daughter.

Our daughter.

I decided to wait until after the dinner and speeches to talk to her. I figured at least then if she yelled to me it would be covered up by the loud music. Much to my chagrin, however, I saw her turn to talk to the person on the other side of her- Travis. What the hell was she up to?

I focused on talking to Ashley instead. She seemed like a charming girl, and we were able to make it through all three courses and the long speeches after without having more than three awkward silences.

Then, finally, it was time to dance.