I am not the Villainess

Chapter 19

CHAPTER 19

When they’ve arrived at the palace, Tatiana stepped down the carriage with a light heart.  

Her conversation with Aaron had motivated her and gave her energy that she felt like she could win over any fight from then on.  

Aaron has never told Tatiana before what he said in the carriage. He was usually not this affectionate. He loved Tatiana, but he never said nor show it. For him, he preferred to protect and watch over her by the sidelines. 

However, today, he worded what he always wanted to say to Tatiana. He showed his affection and love for her as his only little sister. 

Tatiana couldn’t be any happier. She also knew that if the original Tatiana was still here, she would also be very happy. 

“I’ll walk you to His Majesty’s office,” Aaron said and offered his arm to Tatiana. 

“Are you sure, brother? I’ll be fine going alone. Besides, aren’t you supposed to meet His Highness?” Tatiana asked. 

“Yes, it’s okay. I’m sure His Highness can wait, and you’re my priority. This is a big thing for you, and I want to be there with you.”  

Tatiana smiled at his answer and nodded. She hooked her hand to his arm, and together, they walked to His Majesty’s office. 

Tatiana felt really lucky to have a supportive brother. Back as Jane, she only had Alice and her Master who loved and supported her. But now, she has many people around her that she could call her real family. 

 .

The siblings arrived in front of the emperor’s office. His Majesty requested for them to talk in his office instead of the assembly room, where meetings with the emperor were usually held. Tatiana is given this special treatment as the fiancé of the Crown Prince. She is also the only daughter of Duke Cromello, who’s a dear friend of the emperor. 

“I’ll be fine here, brother. You can go now.”  

Aaron sighed, reluctant to leave Tatiana alone. 

“Are you sure you don’t want me to go in with you? I could help you convince His Majesty.” Aaron insisted. 

“Don’t worry, brother. I can handle it.” Tatiana reassured him. 

Aaron was still hesitant to go, but in the end, he agreed and walked away.  

Tatiana took a deep breath before nodding at a knight standing in front of the door. The knight then announced her presence and opened the door for her. 

“Lady Anastasia Monique Tatiana, the only daughter of House Cromello, greets Your Majesty, the sun of our great Alvania Empire.” Tatiana greeted and curtsied. 

“Ah! My future daughter-in-law! How have you been?” The emperor warmly replied and welcomed Tatiana to his office. 

He led her to the sofa area and asked a nearby maid for some tea. 

“I have been well, Your Majesty. How about you?”  

“I’m good, but it is you I’m worried about. I heard you just came back from being sick. I apologize for scheduling our meeting today. Had I known earlier, I would have scheduled it for another time.” The emperor said with worried eyes. 

“I’m really alright, Your Majesty. I’m actually thankful that Your Majesty accepted my request.” Tatiana reassured him. The emperor nodded and put it aside. 

“If you say so, but if you feel any discomfort, make sure to tell me right away, okay?” Tatiana nodded and smiled. “Also, there’s no way I will refuse your request. You’ll soon be my daughter-in-law, how could I ignore my daughter!” the emperor chuckled after saying that. Tatiana only replied with a nervous laugh. 

He looked very happy to be meeting his daughter-in-law again. It’s been a year since they last saw each other, and he could clearly see that the lady had changed a lot—just like what Noah said to him the day after the royal ball. 

After Aaron left Noah’s office, the emperor called for Noah. 

“Son, you look very different these past few days...” the emperor suddenly said after they finished talking about some Empire matters. 

Noah avoided his father’s gaze and only shook his head. Emperor Nigel laughed at this. He never saw Noah, who’s known to be cold and stern, act like this—like he’s shy about something. In his eyes, Noah looked like a little boy again. 

“W-what are you talking about, father?” Noah stuttered. 

Why is he acting like this? Earlier, he was just thinking about Tatiana. He’s worried that she suddenly got sick, especially since he let her go home alone without any escort. Did something happen on her way home? 

“I know you, son. Now, tell me...what happened?” the emperor asked in a teasing voice. Noah wasn’t able to answer so Emperor Nigel continued. “Ah! I noticed last night you were looking at Lady Tatiana so lovingly. Is there something going on between you two?” 

Emperor Nigel’s eyebrows went up and down as he leaned closer to Noah to tease him more. Noah, on the other hand, felt his ears turned red from all the teasing. 

“No, father. You know how I felt about her...” Noah replied in a low voice. 

If other people came in and saw him right now, they wouldn’t think he’s the Crown Prince they know of. He’s acting strangely—like a little boy who’s shy to talk about his crush. 

“Hmm... are you sure? I saw you last night, you kept staring at her!” the emperor threw back his head and laughed at his son’s behavior. He’s enjoying this. 

Noah suddenly remembered Tatiana’s face when they were dancing. She looked cute trying to keep up with him and avoid stepping on his foot. And when she turned red and was shy when he teased her about it, it was an image that he couldn’t forget. 

“It’s nothing father. She just looked different...” 

“Hmm...different? Or do you mean to say she’s very beautiful that you can’t take your eyes off her?” Emperor Nigel continued to make fun of Noah.  

Noah turned, even more, redder at the mention of Tatiana’s irresistible beauty. He wasn’t able to answer which made the emperor laugh even more. 

“Okay, okay. I’ll stop it.” He said and patted Noah’s shoulders. “I’m happy that you’re starting to have a change of heart for Tatiana. I wanted your marriage life together to be blissful.” 

“I know, father. I wished for it too...” 

Emperor Nigel laughed as he remembered his conversation with Noah. He teased him big time about Tatiana, and now he finally understood why he started acting differently towards her. 

Although they met during the ball, they weren’t able to talk alone, so he didn’t notice it that much. However, today, he could really see that Tatiana does indeed look and feel different from what he remembered. 

“So, what do you want to talk about with me today, my daughter?” Emperor Nigel asked rather enthusiastically. 

Tatiana wasn’t able to answer immediately. She suddenly felt guilty. She’s here to talk about canceling her engagement with Noah, but the emperor looked very excited calling her his future daughter-in-law. It would surely break his heart if she mentioned her purpose. 

However, Tatiana couldn’t be swayed by her guilt. This is her only chance and she can’t delay it any longer. Her coming-of-age party is in less than 2 months, and there was still no progress with her engagement with Noah.  

I have to do it now...for myself, for my family, and for the innocent people who would die because of me... 

“Your Majesty, I have come to talk about my engagement with His Highness the Crown Prince.” Tatiana started. 

“Hmm...what about it? Oh right! Your coming-of-age is in 2 months, right? We should be planning about your wedding date already!” The emperor said so eagerly. This made Tatiana feel even more guilty. 

Tatiana took a deep breath and gathered her courage. 

“I--no, your majesty. I’m here to talk to you about canceling the engagement.” She finally said. 

Emperor Nigel became silent and his expression changed from excited to confused. 

“Why? Is there something wrong?” he asked, questioningly. 

Tatiana breathes deeply again before she answered. 

“This engagement was wrong to begin with, Your Majesty. I impulsively requested it due to my childishness. However, I realized now that I am not worthy. His Highness is the Crown Prince, which means his wife will be the Crown Princess. And I don’t think I am fit for that title, your majesty.” 

Emperor Nigel’s expression turned cold after that. 

“Is that what you think, Tatiana? Are you saying that I have a bad judgment about who’s good for my son and who’s not?!”  

Tatiana turned pale when she realized she had offended His Majesty. 

“N-no, your majesty. I didn’t mean it that way, I apologize.” She quickly took it back. “What I mean is that I—I was impulsive. I thought lightly of the responsibility that comes with marring His Highness, that I insisted on it despite my incapability. I know, myself, that I am not what the empire needs to be their Crown Princess...” 

Silence surrounded them after that. Emperor Nigel was only staring at Tatiana, pondering over what she just said. 

Before, that was also what he thought. He was doubtful of Tatiana with all the rumors that surrounded her. If it wasn’t for her father, Duke Michael, he wouldn’t agree to this engagement in the first place. 

However, what he could see right now is a different Tatiana. She’s mature enough to accept her flaws and acknowledge her immaturity. And that itself is something not everyone can do. Tatiana had indeed changed... 

Having said that, Emperor Nigel had a hard time agreeing with Tatiana. She’s the perfect candidate to become the Crown Princess, but she just doesn’t see it.  

“My daughter, I will be honest with you... Before, I doubted you as well. I thought you’re immature and would not take the position seriously. However, what I see right now is a capable lady who’s responsible and mature enough to accept her flaws. Yes, you may still have some shortcomings, but I know you can fill them once you’re already crowned.” Emperor Nigel said. “Just like what you’ve said, being the Crown Princess takes a lot of responsibilities. But it also takes a strong heart and a wise mind, and you have that both. You are the one that the empire needs. I hope you could see that.” 

Tatiana wasn’t able to reply to that. She felt touch for his words, but it’s not what she wanted. Their conversation is not going to what she hoped for. Now, it’s becoming more difficult for her to convince His Majesty. 

“B-but the Crown Prince doesn’t like me... Do you really want for your son to spend his life with a woman he doesn’t love?” Tatiana said, using every reason she could think of. She looked down at her hands after saying that. 

On the other hand, the emperor chuckled. With how Noah is acting, he doubts that is true. 

“Well, I doubt that is the case... Besides, you love him. That is more important. And I know, he’ll give in for you sooner or later.” The emperor replied with ease. He is sure that Tatiana loves Noah so much that she wouldn’t want to mention canceling their engagement again. 

He was ready to accept Tatiana's sigh of defeat that at the back of his mind, he was already calculating the perfect date for their wedding. However, Tatiana had a different idea.

“...the truth is...I don’t love His Highness...anymore, Your Majesty,” Tatiana said quietly and looked up to look at the emperor's eyes directly. “That is the real reason why I wanted to cancel our engagement,” she added courageously. 

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