He Was My First, But Maybe Not My Forever

Chapter 6: When Love Finds Its Way Back

Sometimes love doesn’t come the way we expect. It doesn’t always arrive in grand gestures or perfect timing. Sometimes it comes through an old f*******: message, in the middle of a regular day, from someone you thought was long gone from your life.

That message came from J.

“Mercy, I’ve missed you since you stopped being Kadot and became a big machine. I haven’t laid my eyes on this heavy machine in ages,” he wrote, laughing emojis and all.

Kadot.

It was a nickname I was given back in primary school because of how tiny I was. Everyone would tease me, saying I was like a small dot—unnoticeable, silent, but always present. I never really liked it. But when J called me that, it didn't feel like teasing. It felt like a memory. A warm one.

Reading his message took me back. To the time when love was new. When we didn’t know how to say what we felt, but our smiles, our glances, our long pauses said it all. We hadn’t spoken for years, but suddenly, it felt like no time had passed. We started talking like old friends who had just picked up where they left off.

The conversation flowed. From our childhood memories to what life had become for each of us. I found myself laughing again. Not just smiling—laughing. The kind of laugh that bubbles from the heart. I realized how much I had missed that version of me. The one who felt seen. The one who felt adored.

Eventually, I dropped my number. He saved it immediately and decided to message me on w******p.

"You made me view your pictures," he texted. "Let me just say—you’ve grown more beautiful. Thicker and more stunning. I really hope the lucky man who has this beautiful big machine is treating you well."

I giggled at the message, heart racing. But I told him the truth. That I was single.

He replied: "I don’t even remember how we drifted apart. But I believe everything happens for a reason. Maybe if we’d stayed together back then, we would’ve hurt each other or grown tired. But now we’re here—happy, mature—and we can start afresh. Good vibes, positive energy."

I took a deep breath and typed what I had always wanted to say.

"I’d be lying if I said I don’t still love you. I don’t regret not being in your life as we grew, but now I’m ready to grow old with you. At your pace."

There was a pause before he responded, and then came a flood of emotions.

"Wow, this feels amazing. I swear it’s going to be the best thing ever. There’s a reason we never parted badly—it saved us from hurting each other. I feel you. I can’t wait to set my eyes on you after all this time. I just want to hug my smiling, beautiful machine."

I couldn’t stop the tears from falling. All the years I spent wondering, doubting, hoping—they all melted into that one moment.

"You’re all I ever needed," he wrote. "I promise to be the best you’ve ever had. I’ll make you proud to call me yours. I’m thinking about so much right now. I can’t wait for the day I’ll put a ring on your finger. That day, we’ll officially be husband and wife. I’m just so happy right now—you have no idea. My love for you will never fade, Kadot."

And then he shared something that broke my heart a little more open.

"After I broke up with my baby mama, I dated another girl. We broke up last September. I used to buy her gifts, and she would cry out of joy. But when we broke up, she told me she always faked those tears. It broke me. I laughed then, but inside, I was shattered. Since then, I’ve had this phobia about love. But with you? It feels safe. I trust you. I know you won’t hurt me."

Then he said the words that wrapped around my soul like a warm blanket:

"Pretty face… will you be my girlfriend? I genuinely want you. I don’t just want you as a girlfriend—I want you as my future wife. You’re more than a soulmate. Please, say yes."

And I replied with all my heart:

"Wow... I can’t even begin to express how much your words mean to me. I’ve been smiling so much reading your message, and honestly, my heart is so full right now. I can feel your love, trust, and sincerity in every word, and it means the world to me. I can’t imagine anything more beautiful than us building something real and lasting together.

Yes! Yes, I will be your girlfriend, and I’m beyond excited for what the future holds for us. You already make me so happy, and I’m looking forward to making even more beautiful memories with you. I trust you completely, and I know we’re going to be amazing together. I can’t wait to be by your side through everything."

So here we are.

Two people who once loved silently, now loving out loud.

He was my first love. And now—he just might be my last.