Through the cracks

Chapter Four

Today is Lucas’s birthday. Ava has arranged a big 50th birthday party for him. His secretary, Joan, helped her with the arrangements and the invites. All business associates, clients, suppliers, staff and their friends and family have been invited and most accepted the invitation. It is not a surprise party because Lucas hates surprises. As everything had been arranged and the venue prepared, Ava made an appointment at the hairdresser. She wants to absolutely look her best for her husband and guests.

Ava took a book along to the hair salon as it took quite a while to color, cut, wash and blow dry her hair. She reads a love story, but she cannot concentrate as she is thinking about the party. Everything must be perfect tonight.

She always made a big fuss over his birthdays, in comparison to her own, which she mostly spent with her children, by having a simple dinner somewhere nice and most times Lucas was absent and on another business trip out of town.

“I can’t believe he expects me to go to his birthday party which his old stupid wife arranged”, she hears an unfamiliar voice, probably a client, chatting with her hairdresser.

What? Ava looks up from her book and looks around. She realizes that although she cannot see the person saying this, as there is a divider between her and the voice, she can clearly hear every word. Maybe she did not hear correctly.

“As if that is not bad enough. He also wants me to pretend to be a business associate. He says it will make the party bearable to have me there. He is just going because his family expects him there."

Maybe it is another man that she is talking about, and it is just, coincidentally also his birthday party tonight, Ava thinks, as she feels her heart beating uncontrollably.

“I am going to make him choose between me and her anyway. I am sick and tired of his excuses and Violet does not understand why her father is always leaving and only spending Saturdays with us.” I want to be his wife. I have been waiting for 10 years already and still nothing has really changed. He is lucky that she is such a needy, stupid person. An intelligent woman would have left him long ago. They don’t even make love anymore“, she continues.

"Wow Eva, that is really horrific. It's clear she is only staying with him for his money." The woman's hairdresser added.

"That is what he is also saying. Every time he tries to get out, she threatens him that she will take all of his belongings," Eva explains.

Ava feels sick. She now knows that the voice is talking about her Lucas. Her whole body starts shivering. Lorraine, her hairdresser, comes to rinse her hair, and she puts on a brave smile and walks to the wash basin. She looked back to see what the woman looked like, but she was already at the counter paying her bill and Ava could only see her back.

Luckily, Lorraine talks so much she does not even realize that Ava is upset. Ava does not listen nor respond to her stories, but she just goes on and on. After rinsing, Lorraine cuts and blow dries her hair, and she looks at herself in the mirror.

That voice called her stupid and old, but she looks okay, she thinks. Ava also goes and pays, eager to leave the Salon.

.

She walks to her car. As soon as she gets into her car, she burst out crying. It feels as if her heart is breaking into a million pieces. They are not even making love anymore, she recalls the woman saying. Her sobs fill the whole car. She cannot breathe, and it feels as if she can just sit there the whole day.

Eventually, she starts her car and drives home. She still wanted to look for nice shoes for tonight, but now she only wants to get home and hopes that this is all a big misunderstanding. That Lucas would tell her that the voice was not talking about him.

When she gets home, she sees his car in the driveway and parks next to him. When she enters the house, Kristy comes around the corner and Ava must calm her down as she is so happy that Ava is home. She hears his voice and when she enters the living room, he quickly finishes his phone call and looks guilty. She looks at him and says:

“Can we talk?” She wanted to stay calm, but when she starts telling him what happened in the hair salon, and he does not deny anything, she just loses control and starts screaming at him.

“Who is she? Who is Violet? Why does she say we are not making love anymore? How old is she? Where does she work?”, she realizes that she is hysterical, but she cannot control herself.

Lucas just looked at her and said:

”We will talk tonight after the party. Just calm yourself first. I am not prepared to listen to a hysterical woman”, he says calmly, as if she was the one that was out of line.

He gets up and walks out of the house. She runs after him and screams:

“Where are you going? You cannot just leave me with all these questions and walk off “.

He just gets into his car and leaves. She falls to her knees and cries as if someone died. Kristy jumps on her, and she realizes she must get herself under control. Still crying and a little hysterical, she walks into the house and pours herself a whiskey. It is still early, and she hates whiskey, but it calms her, and she falls on the couch. Kristy comes and sits next to her, and she talks to Kristy and re-assures her everything is all right.

Lucas does not return home, and Ava starts getting ready for the party. She makes an extra effort with her make-up and when she finally looks in the mirror, she knows that she cannot cry anymore if she does not want the guests to realize that something is very wrong with her. She drives to Millie and John's house to drop Kristy there with their kids and the babysitter, as Kristy hates to be alone at home.

When she arrives at the house, Millie and John have thankfully left already. She must still compose herself before she gets to the party venue. When she arrives at the venue, Lucas meets her at the door and acts as if nothing has happened.

The party is pure torture. She mingles and smiles and drinks too much wine.

“What’s wrong with you tonight? You have been talking about this party for months now. But you look distracted tonight, as if you are zoned out completely’, Jenelle asked her after pulling her away from the crowd.

Barely able to hold back her tears, she bravely says:

“You are imagining things. I am fine. I am just trying to make sure everyone is enjoying themselves tonight.”

The last thing she can deal with is Jenelle adding on to her negative thoughts! Jenelle does not look like she buys her explanation but accepts it.

“Just checking. You know you can talk to me if you need any help.” Her friend smiles, and give her a quick hug.

She can see Lucas looking at them, and he quickly approaches.

"Everything OK?" he asked, probably trying to find out if she told her friend about the woman in the salon.

"All is well", Jenelle said, and then continued:

"Hope you are enjoying your birthday grandpa", she jokes with Lucas. He is not impressed when people refer to him as a grandpa and gave her an annoyed look. Jenelle pulled Ava away:

"Let's go to the bar. I am buying you a drink. People can entertain themselves. You have worked hard enough already."

"What's up his ass," Jenelle asked.

Ava looks back at Lucas for some reassurance that everything is going to be all right, but instead he just gives her a blank stare.

She and Lucas leave the party when the last guests have left. She realizes that whoever the voice in the salon was, didn’t attend the party. He must have told her not to come. He leaves with his car, and she drives home with hers. When she arrives home, she pours herself another wine and waits for Lucas.