I Am Not Uptight!

The House part 9

“No,” he firmly said, stepping in front of Josh to block their line of sight. “He lives here, he doesn’t work here! While we're at it, it’s time we respect boundaries in this house. That means no more light B and E into people's rooms! Learn how to knock, people!”

“You should say that to yourself,” Dustin scoffed, “towel thief.”

Daniel shot him a deadpan look, while Gary slithered towards Josh and snaked an arm above his shoulders in a half hug.

“Joshy, won’t you cook for us, please?” he pleaded in a whisper that could easily heard by everyone. Daniel, upon seeing this, was quick to grab him by the back of his collar in an attempt to peel him off from Josh. “We don’t want to die by 30 with all the toxic s**t in fastfood. You have spoiled us rotten and now we can’t go back. I won’t go back!” Gary wailed the last part when he was successfully pulled away, pulling on his own hair to add emotion to his words. As soon as they were separated, Josh took a small step away from him—still not used to the man's theatrics. 

“Calm down, drama queen,” Daniel sighed as he held him back, looking at Josh apologetically.

“You really do cook well. I used to eat convenience store sandwiches for breakfast all the time,” Dustin sincerely said as he continued his task.

“You can say no if you want to,” Daniel assured Josh, while Gary pleadingly shook his head in the background. “These monkeys can survive.’

Josh thought about it for a second. He had cooked for them the first time because he was sick of pizza, and the second was because he felt guilty for shouting at them that morning. Very quickly, he calculated the pros and cons in his head while the other three waited for his response.

It was not an easy task—planning and making meals for six. He also didn’t have a responsibility for the others' meals. After all, Daniel was right when he said that Josh lived and not worked there. Basically, he could go through the remaining weeks of his stay without caring for what they do with their meals or their lives in general. He had barely cooked for his own family, and yet there were the strangers asking him to commit to cooking for them on a daily basis. 

It could have been an easy “no,” but then he saw the hopeful look in Gary's eyes, thought of how they all just ate crap on the regular, and remembered everyone's amazement and gratefulness whenever they smelled whatever dish it was he was cooking—even if they were the simplest of things. The last part wasn’t so bad.

“It will be so much cheaper to cook for six than only for myself,” he concluded, talking mostly to himself. 

The moment he said that, Daniel and Dustin looked at him in surprise, while Gary let out a triumphant “Ha! Settled!” and managed to slip away from Daniel's grip. He ran towards Josh and gave him a tight hug from behind before Josh even knew what was happening. “You’re the best, Joshy!” Gary moaned while pretending to sob, planting his face onto Josh's back.

“My suit—” Josh was about to complain when Daniel grabbed Gary by the collar once more and pulled him back. 

“Boundaries, Gary,” he sternly reminded the man, looking meaningfully at Josh—who was immediately reminded of his most recent ridiculous outburst. 

“Sorry, Joshy,” Gary apologized sheepishly as he attempted to flatten the back of Josh's suit before his hands were slapped away by Daniel. Gary smiled at him and rushed back to the sink, quick like a child who knew he did something wrong. Josh shot a grateful look towards Daniel.

“Alright!” Gary exclaimed, raising a head of wet lettuce. “Everyone chips in, Jane and I can buy the stuff you need as long as you give us a list, and Dustin can shittily wash the vegetables!” That earned him a glare from the youngest guy, which he ignored as he looked at Daniel to proudly say, “I told you, Danny boy, roles.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Daniel admitted in defeat. 

“Now, what’s your role?” Dustin asked him.

“I can set the table?” he shrugged.

“You can do your own laundry, that’s one.”

“Wash the dishes,” Gary suggested. Daniel made a face as he walked to the fridge to grab a can of beer.

“Fine,” he grumbled begrudgingly. He held up the can towards Josh who politely raised a hand to decline.

“If everything’s settled, I’ll go up to change so I can cook for dinner.”

“Yes, all’s good thanks to you, Joshy,” Gary winked at him, and with no one contesting, Josh placed the paper bag he had been holding onto a countertop then went on his way.

As soon as he disappeared up the stairs, Daniel turned to the other two and said, “While I have you both here, we’re going on a small trip tomorrow. All of us. Josh is already in.”

“Daniel, you know my Saturdays are for the missus and the Jacuzzi,” Gary stated, gesturing towards his body. “Papa needs some rest.”

“Please don’t call yourself papa,” Dustin said in disgust before he turned to his cousin. “Anyway, I’m not in. I'll be too busy sleeping in in the morning and then I’ve got practice in in afternoon.”

“Then you can make it because we’re going in the morning,” Daniel smiled at him. “Gary, we’ll be going to Jane's place of work. You can do your Jacuzzi ritual in the evening.”

“Good luck dragging Wells along to the zoo,” Gary scoffed.

“I'll manage.”

“On the off-chance he goes, he’s probably going to scare the kids,” snickered Dustin, and Gary nodded in agreement.

“Hey,” Daniel called him out. “That’s true but still… I’ll try to get him to dress more casually. The important thing tomorrow is for everyone to have fun—and I mean everyone—so you two, you need to tone down your marital fighting for a while. And Gary, maybe don’t mess with the new guy too much. We’re all going out tomorrow so we can all get to know him and get closer, so be good. Got it?”

“I sense some favoritism, Daniel,” Gary narrowed his eyes at him and pointed a washed carrot. “I thought I was your favorite, but we only went ice skating when Jane and I first moved in.”

“First of all, I don’t play favorites. Second, if I were to have one, it wouldn’t be you.”

Gary made a face and grumbled “Yeah, yeah,” as he turned his attention back to the vegetables. Meanwhile, Dustin turned to Daniel and asked in a whisper, “It’s Jane, isn’t it?”

“Of course,” Daniel replied as if it was obvious. “She’s everyone’s favorite.”