I Am Not Uptight!

The House part 1

“Yellow,” a man's voice greeted, “are you the one interested in renting?” Josh could hear people talking in the background—a woman's voice and two other men if he wasn’t mistaken.

“Uh, hello, yes,” he answered, trying not to look at Perry who was watching him with a raised eyebrow.

“Okay! We just have a couple of questions before we can go through with this,” the man said before hissing something that sounded like “Be quiet!” that made the chatting in the background lessen before he continued. “Okay, number one, do you have a job that pays you enough so you won’t miss rent and not go hungry? And will you be able to pay the three-month security fee?”

Josh blinked in surprise. Were they really going to do the background interview at 9 in the evening over the phone? “I‐I have an office job, yes, and I can pay the fee,” he answered anyway.

“Good, good. What’s your—what was it, Jane?—ah, astrological sign?”

A small frown formed on Josh’s face and Perry moved towards his line of sight to mouth, “What’s he saying?” but Josh only pushed his head away. “I’m a Pisces?” he responded reluctantly, which only made Perry look even more confused. “Sorry, but why are you—"

“Okay, my turn, my turn!” another man's voice said loudly into the phone. Josh could hear a little struggle on their line and an angry, “Hey!” before the new guy continued. “Alright, let me give you a scenario. You’re hungry, you just got home from work, then you open the fridge and you see a BLT sandwich all wrapped up and labeled ‘Gary.’ What do you do?”

Josh’s eyes narrowed. He would’ve asked if they were pulling a prank on him but the guy sounded serious. “I, uh, I’ll eat a granola bar or make a proper meal for myself?”

“Correct answer!” the guy shouted that Josh had to pull away from the phone. “You hear that, Dustin? You make a proper meal for yourself! You don’t go around stealing people’s sandwiches!” he could hear the guy say which was immediately followed by an argument sounding far away as he probably let go of the phone.

“Sorry about that,” the man Josh was originally talking to nervously chuckled as he picked up the phone. Not a second later, a woman spoke into the phone, asking, “Did you say you know how to cook?”

But before Josh could reply, the first man spoke again, “I like him. He’s in. Dustin, Wells, you guys got any question for the new guy?” clearly not talking to Josh.

“f**k off, Daniel, I’m busy!” another voice yelled from the background.

“I hear shouting,” Perry whispered with concern, further adding to the chaos that was already ensuing, so Josh scooched to the other end of the couch to get away from him.

“That’s a no,” the man muttered before finally speaking to Josh again and saying, “Alright, welcome to the Reynolds House! How soon can you move in?”

Josh looked at his phone for a second to make sure that he really called the right number. Was that really it? What in the world even happened?

“Hello? You there, new guy?” he heard the man say, making him put the phone back to his ear again.

“Yes, sorry, I can move in—"

“Josh, come on,” Perry snatched the phone away from him and clicked the mute button.

“Give it back,” Josh calmly said as he put his hand forward with his palm facing up.

“You don’t have to do this to prove a point,” Perry argued. “This is just ridiculous!”

Josh grabbed his phone back and glared at him. Ridiculous was one word for it, but it wasn’t like he had anything more to lose; and as petty as it sounded, it also didn’t hurt to see Perry seem all riled up. Josh knew he thought he was joking around, and truth be told, Josh didn’t know for sure if he would actually go through with it either until he caught a glimpse of that hickey on his ex-boyfriend’s neck. Just like that, he unmuted the phone and put it against his ear.

“Tomorrow,” he said, looking Perry directly in the eye. “I can move in tomorrow.”

“Great!” the man happily exclaimed. “You can come here any time from 4am onwards. We can settle all the payments online tomorrow and—Oh, pizza's here!—alright, got to go. We’ll see you tomorrow!” Just like that, the call ended.

Perry looked at him with a deadpan expression. “Josh, seriously,” he sighed, but Josh only stood up and collected his laptop.

“They sound like a fun bunch, don’t they?” he smiled at Perry, knowing well enough that it would only irk him. “Excuse me, I have to finish packing so I can be out of your hair tomorrow.”

***

Josh didn’t sleep a wink that night. Mostly because he had to sleep on the couch and it wasn’t exactly the most comfortable of all surfaces, and partly because he couldn’t believe he just packed his things and actually said yes to moving in with five strangers who barely did a background check on him. Heck, they didn’t even ask for his name! But he wasn’t going to back out. He was going to live in that damn house with those people for months like the fun and spontaneous person he was.

So, all sleep-deprived and full of determination, Josh got out of the cab the next morning and walked up to the house that looked exactly like the one from the pictures. Except for the car engine running and the soft tweeting of birds on the trees lining up the street, everything was quiet. It was 5 in the morning after all. Josh wondered if anyone was awake inside the house but then again, the man he talked to said he could come from 4 AM onwards.

Josh stood in front of the door and pressed the doorbell beside it. He could hear the ding from inside the house, and a few seconds later, he could hear rushing footsteps and then the door unlocking. Josh took a deep breath and opened and closed his hands which were beginning to get cold from nervousness. He had never done anything like this before—make a big decision overnight that would lead him to stand in front of an unfamiliar house with all of his belongings, unsure what would be on the other side of the door, not knowing what kind of people he would have to get along with for at least three months. It was only at that last second that it entered his mind that they could be a bunch of criminals. What if they harvest his organs and sell them in the black market? What if they’re secretly using the house to make and sell illegal drugs? There was a reason it took him months before he found a good apartment for himself and Perry. Josh suddenly felt a deep sense of dread as he realized he had just made a huge mistake that could put his life in danger. He took a step back, feeling the urge to head back to the cab, when the door finally opened.

“You must be the new tenant!” A wide, friendly smile greeted him as a man in a maroon sweater, denim jeans, and fuzzy house slippers appeared in front of him. He looked slightly older than Josh—probably in his late twenties—and he was just a bit taller as well. His wavy black hair looked a bit untidy, but he didn’t seem like a murderer—at least as far as first impressions went.

“Good morning,” Josh fixed his glasses and stood up straight, all business-like. “My name is Joshua Dean, but you can call me Josh.” He put his hand forward, which the man didn’t hesitate to take.

“A tired but good-looking office man in glasses and a suit with an actual briefcase,” the man admired as he shook his hand, confusing Josh if that was meant to be a compliment, an insult, or just a mere observation. Judging by how enthusiastically he smiled and shook Josh's hand, it seemed to be the latter. “We don't see much like you around here—well, maybe except for Wells but he's got a slightly different vibe going on,” the man said, only confusing Josh further. Seeing the lost look on his face, the man waved a hand and added, “Oh, you’ll get what I mean later. I'm Daniel Reynolds, we spoke on the phone. Come in, come in! I’ll help you with your things.”

“N-no, that's fine, I can do—” but Daniel had already picked up his duffel and rolling luggage and was bringing them into the house.

“Leave your shoes there by the rack. We got you your own house slippers to use inside. That red one over there. Fingers crossed I got the size right.” Daniel pushed the door to open wider with his foot then pointed at the shoe rack and red fuzzy slippers. Josh did as he was told and began to untie his shoes.

“Did you have a hard time locating the place?” Daniel asked as he took the last of Josh's bag in then closed the door behind him.

“No, it was easy to find. It's just a few minutes away from my old apartment.” Josh neatly set his shoes on the rack next to a few other pairs.

“Ah, you’re from the city, then? What happened to your old apartment, if you don’t mind me asking?” Daniel looked like he was just innocently curious, but it was too early in the morning and Josh wasn’t in the mood to talk about the heartbreak he had gone through less than 24 hours ago.

“I just… I had to move out,” was all he answered, hoping that that would suffice.

“Mysterious,” Daniel narrowed his eyes at him. “You're not a wanted man, by any chance?”

“Not that I know of,” Josh answered with a small smile as he put on the red fuzzy slippers that fit him nicely.

“Great,” Daniel returned his smile as he picked up three of Josh's bags without a problem then slowly walked into the living room. Josh picked up his briefcase and backpack and followed.

“Now, let me give you a short tour of the place. Everything here on the first floor is communal. You can use anything in the kitchen, including the food in the fridge except when it’s labeled,” Daniel gestured towards the kitchen, which could be seen from any angle of the first floor since it only had half walls to separate it from the living room and the dining area. Josh had already seen it from the pictures, but it was even more beautiful in person. There was a large stove, an oven, a two-door fridge, a large kitchen island, and a variety of pans and utensils all looking barely used. Either the people in this house cared for the items extremely well or none of them cooked.

“So, if you want to keep food to yourself, you better write your name on it—and write it big—unless you want Dustin eating your BLT sandwich,” Daniel continued, whispering the last part.

“That is… duly noted,” Josh muttered as he remembered the argument about the sandwich he overheard last night.

“Here's the living room. We have cable but no one really watches TV anymore so feel free to use it. There’s the dining room, just clean the table after you use it. There are coasters somewhere in the kitchen so just dig around.” Daniel pointed at the door beside the stairs at the corner. “That one over there is the laundry room.”

Josh nodded as he kept everything to memory. The place really was spacious, with the first floor itself already being thrice the size of his old apartment. The open concept, the paintings on the wall, the knitted blanket on the couch—Josh couldn’t find a single thing he disliked about what he was seeing so far that he was beginning to think that maybe this wasn’t such a wrong move after all.

“Like what you see so far?” Daniel asked with a smile. It was only then that Josh noticed that he had moved to the first step of the stairs, ready to take the tour to the second floor while Josh was standing there between the living room and the kitchen, daydreaming.

“Yeah, very much so,” he answered as he hurriedly picked up his bags and walked towards him. “It’s a nice place you have.”

“Thanks,” Daniel replied, although he looked a bit uncomfortable saying so. He averted his eyes for a second, but in doing so, noticed the tinted sliding door that he had yet to point out. “Oh, right! I almost forgot. That’s our Jacuzzi area,” he nodded towards it.

“You have a Jacuzzi?” Josh asked in disbelief. Before that moment, he had never really met anyone nor gone to any house that had one. He had always had the prejudice that people who owned one were… let's just say, a bit too lavish for his taste—impractical.

“Yeah, you can use it any time. There’s a cooler out there too if you want to bring over some beers from the fridge,” Daniel proudly said as he began to go up the stairs.

“I’m not really a Jacuzzi person,” Josh muttered, casting a last curious glance at the tinted sliding door before following him.

“You say that now,” he heard Daniel say with a light chuckle as they reached the second floor. It was more plain than below, with just a carpeted floor and some old sconces lighting up the hallway. There was a glass wall and door leading to a balcony a few steps in front of the stairs, and two rooms facing each other.

“That’s my room on the right,” Daniel pointed after he put down Josh's bags, “and that’s the balcony. That’s yours in front of mine so I guess we're neighbors. The other three rooms are back there if you walk around the staircase. Up there is the attic—just a small storage space for stuff no one uses anymore.”

Josh curiously walked to the side of the staircase to take a look at the other end, where he saw as Daniel said, one room on the left, one at the end, and another on the right. “I thought there are supposed to be five other people here. Why are there only five rooms?” he asked as Daniel stood behind him to see where he was looking.

“Oh, Jane and Gary—our resident couple—live in one room right there on the left. Dustin’s is right there in front, and Wells's is at the right. They’re all either asleep or they didn’t come home last night.”

Josh thoughtfully nodded. “I see.”

“I’ll introduce them to you later,” Daniel said as they went back to their side of the floor. “What time do you go to work?”

“I’ll leave by 830, then I end at 5.”

“Oh, good,” Daniel brightly smiled as he opened the door on the left.. “You’ll be right on time.”

“On time for what?” Josh asked, but Daniel had already disappeared into the room. Josh followed, meaning to ask a follow-up question about his previous statement, but it all disappeared when he stepped inside.

“Here is your room,” Daniel proudly presented it to him. It was almost twice the size of their bedroom back in the old apartment, and just like in the pictures he'd seen, there was the wooden floor, the desk on the side, the built-in cabinets, those thick, black-out curtains, and a queen-sized bed in the middle. It looked like one of those showrooms in furniture stores that show buyers the potential of their bedrooms, only this one was already in an actual house and Josh wouldn’t have to pay a fortune for it.

“It's been vacant for a while now so you might want to change the sheets,” Daniel suggested while Josh couldn’t help but walk around the room to check the furniture out. “You’ll find some in the drawers. You have your own bathroom right there with hot water and a tub, but you’d have to buy your own toiletries though.”

“That’s fine, I prefer that,” Josh half-mindedly answered as he was too busy checking to see if the mattress was as nice as it looked to be—it was.

“And that ends the tour! I'll send you the bank details where you can deposit rent then we are all good. Got any questions?”

Josh moved to the windows and pushed the curtains aside. “Do you have any other rules?” he asked as he looked out. There wasn’t much of a view, just the back of the house and a little of the balcony, but that didn't really matter much to him.

“Oh, right, no smoking inside, no loud noises after 10 PM, always use slippers inside the house because outside shoes are dirty, refrain from barging into other people's rooms, and if you’re going to do laundry, make sure to write on the schedule sheet,” Daniel recited. Josh turned to look at him and nodded, satisfied by the presence of rules and structure.

“Ah,” Daniel raised a finger as he remembered something, “and you can bring a guest if you’re planning to bring home a girl from a date or something. You can let us know beforehand so we can make ourselves scarce.”

“I don’t think I’d be bringing home any girls,” Josh snorted, finding the very thought of it funny until he realized he had just casually come out to his landlord. Thankfully, the man didn't seem to be bothered by it.

“Is that so?” Daniel asked with intrigue as he leaned his shoulder on the door frame. “A boyfriend, then?”

Josh suddenly felt as if something was stuck at the bottom of his throat that he had to clear it. “Currently unattached as of yesterday,” he said in a small voice as he busied himself with pulling the curtains back into place.

“Shame for him,” he heard Daniel say. “Lucky for all the other boys, though, huh?” Daniel teasingly asked, making Josh scoff.

“I don’t know about that,” he muttered under his breath.

Daniel let out a chuckle as he stood up straight. “Anyway, I’ll leave you to unpack,” he said with a smile, hitting the door frame as he took a step backwards. “It’s nice meeting you, Josh. Welcome back to the singles club, and welcome to your new home.”