I Am Not Uptight!

The House part 3

Josh's stomach grumbled in complaint, effectively snapping him out of the shock of getting a door shut in his face. Suddenly, he was aware of the loud music, chatter, and the number of people around him. He rushed back into his room, feeling overwhelmed by all of it, but he could still feel the walls vibrating from the god forsaken music blasting below. He was hungry, sleep-deprived, and annoyed, but there was only one of those he could do something about.

“Relax,” he muttered through gritted teeth as he put his things down and angrily took off his tie—every muscle in his body tensed and definitely not relaxed. He shook off his jacket then unbuttoned his shirt with one hand while he grabbed a clean t-shirt from the closet.

“You’re good, Josh. It’s just a party,” he said as he threw his shirt into a bin in the bathroom. “It’s a fun event, and you’re fun now, right?” He took off his glasses and splashed some water onto his face, then he looked up at the bathroom mirror and forced a smile. “Spontaneous and care-f*****g-free,” he grumbled, furiously wiping at his face then putting his glasses back on before grabbing the box of beignets and paper bags from the market. His night was going to go as planned—he was going to cook a damn, fine dinner, take a long bath, and get some well-deserved shut-eye—even amidst a house party he was not initially informed of.

So, Josh made his way down the stairs and into the kitchen, dodging a bunch of people in his path. He placed all the items beside the sink and busied himself with unpacking the fruits and vegetables to wash. He was almost successful in drowning out the noise around him when someone suddenly appeared beside him to reach for a clean glass from the wall cabinet.

Josh took one side-glance and saw that it was a younger woman in a low-cut top and one of those baggy pants that were in style a few decades ago, then completely disregarded her and continued with his task. He placed the washed grapes in a container, set it aside, then began doing the same for the others. Meanwhile, he noticed that after the woman drank a glass of water, she continued to stand next to him—curiously watching what he was doing.

“There’s pizza, you know. You don’t have to cook,” she said, obviously talking to him. “Who brings vegetables to someone’s party anyway?”

“I’m not in the mood for pizza,” Josh simply said as he began peeling a carrot, not even bothering to look at the person talking to him. The last thing he needed was for her to think that he was interested in making conversation.

The woman gasped and pointed a finger at him. “Bite your tongue! Everyone’s always in the mood for pizza—even the lactose intolerant ones!” she argued, which Josh didn’t grace with an answer. He hoped that she would get the hint, but she stayed where she stood and even sat on the countertop to get a good look at him. “You’re a new face,” she observed. “Are you one of Daniel’s friends?”

“I’m the new tenant.”

The woman gasped dramatically once more and clapped her hands. “New housemate!” she exclaimed. “Joshua, right?” she asked as she took a grape without asking, making Josh stop chopping the carrot to glance at her. He did remember a woman's voice during the initial phone call with Daniel, and he did mention a woman’s name—Jane. If Josh's memory served him well, then this grape-thief must be it.

“Josh,” he corrected, putting his attention back to the chopping board.

“Daniel did text us about you—said you came in a suit and tie like a banker, that’s why I didn’t recognize you in your white shirt. I should’ve known though,” she smiled and tilted her head as she looked at his face, “you’ve got Pisces written all over you.”

Josh couldn’t help but let out a small scoff. “I don't believe in horoscopes.”

“Astrology, and you don’t have to believe something for it to be true,” Jane shrugged, casually swinging her dangling legs. “Let me guess, you often adjust to the people around you, very adaptable. Oh, I guess that’s not too true in your case, but you do seem like the type of Pisces that’s sensitive and can easily be hurt by words.”

“Anyone can be hurt by words. They don't need to be born a specific month.”

“Look at you, so tough,” Jane teasingly smiled. “Did anyone hurt you recently? That can make a Pisces moody.”

Josh’s jaw clenched as his grip on the knife tightened and he looked up at her. “I’m not—"

Jane let out a chuckle and lightly slapped his shoulder. “I’m messing with you, new guy! You’re being too stiff!”

Josh gave her a deadpan look, but before he could say anything in rebuttal, a familiar voice with a foreign accent angrily spoke from behind him, “Stiff? Who’s stiff?” then suddenly, Josh felt himself getting turned around. It was a good thing that he had already put the knife down, or else it would have been an accident waiting to happen.

Josh found himself facing a man slightly smaller and thinner than him, wearing a baggy shirt, baggy pants, and those black leather bracelets on both wrists. “Hey, mate, are you the one being all stiff around my beautiful wife?” he threateningly asked, grabbing a fistful of the front Josh's previously unwrinkled shirt.

This must be Gary, he thought, looking down at the man with a face that expressed transparently how he felt—tired and disinterested. Josh knew he could easily take this guy down with a solid jab in the face if needed be, but he was never one for confrontation or fist fights brought upon by the male ego.

“Chill out, Gary,” Jane hissed as she hopped down the kitchen counter and slapped her husband's shoulder. “He wasn’t hitting on me. He’s gay, can’t you tell? He didn’t even try to check out my boobs.”

Josh frowned at Jane’s statement while Gary looked like he was personally offended as he turned his head to Jane. “But they’re beautiful!” he ridiculously argued before turning back to Josh and tightening his grip on his shirt. “You think something’s wrong with my wife's breasts?”

“I meant no offense,” Josh sighed, feeling like the conversation had blown out of proportions. Then he looked at Jane and said, “That’s not really how you tell if someone’s gay—"

“But are you gay?” Gary asked, slightly pulling Josh towards him.

“Yes,” he reluctantly replied. Somehow, he had managed to come out to three strangers he met just the very same day, while it took him fifteen years to do so with his own family.

“Gary, stop it. He’s our new housemate,” Jane tugged on her husband’s arm, finally making him let go of Josh’s shirt.

“Oh,” Gary’s eyes went wide then he smiled between Jane and Josh as if he hadn’t just threatened him a while ago. “The guy with the briefcase who’s got like, a proper job or something?” Gary asked and Jane nodded.

Josh tried his best to straighten his crumpled shirt, then frowned at Gary while the man grabbed a pizza box from the kitchen island. “Is this the first time anyone’s seen an office worker around here?” he asked in disbelief and, frankly, with a judgmental tone in his voice.

Gary and Jane, however, didn’t notice this as they were too busy putting a slice of pizza on a paper plate and grabbing a bottle of beer. “Here you go, mate,” Gary said as he placed the plate and beer into a surprised Josh's hands. “Sorry for the confusion,” he sheepishly smiled. “If you want, I can introduce you to a couple of guys I know who swing your way, like—Oh, there’s Marky Mark and he’s a good bloke—"

“No, thank you,” Josh hurriedly said, thankfully stopping Gary from calling over whoever Marky Mark was. “I just want to make dinner.”

Gary looked at him like he was joking. “But there’s pizza and beer! That’s a full meal right there!” he passionately exclaimed.

“He's not into pizza, babe. He’s cooking,” Jane informed her husband, causing his eyes to widen and his eyebrows to raise as if he couldn’t believe what he just heard.

“Ridiculous!” he shouted dramatically. “That’s ‘cause you haven’t tried McKenna’s, Joshy. Come on, I’ll get you sorted out.” Josh initially did not know what he meant by that until Gary placed another huge slice of pizza on his plate, then proceeded to carelessly shove the vegetables and fruits that Josh was initially preparing back into the paper bags.

Josh could only watch in horror as he stood there with his hands full. “But I haven’t finished—" he was saying, but Gary was already carrying the bags.

“Into the fridge you go,” he happily said as he put the bags into the fridge—and not even in the crisper—before walking back to Josh and Jane. “Now, come on, have a try. You don't seem vegan ‘cause I felt you packing some guns.” He poked at Josh's bicep and approvingly nodded, then he turned to his wife and explained, “Means he eats a lot of protein unlike those plant-based bastards.”

Josh let out a sigh. “Actually, vegan food also have protein—"

“Yap, yap,” Gary cut him off and excitedly pushed his plate up towards him, “here’s your dinner. Come on, try it! It’s Jane's half birthday.”

Josh frowned at him in confusion. “What’s a half birthday got to do with—” but then Gary gave him an urging look, and he knew that he wouldn’t be able to leave the kitchen without taking a bite of that pizza. So, with a huff, he muttered a forced, “Fine,” grabbed a slice, then bit a good size of it. He didn’t really dislike pizza, but he would take a well-balanced home-cooked meal over it any day.

“And a chug,” Gary nodded at the beer in Josh's hand. It was beginning to feel like one of those high school moments when the “influential" kids were trying to get him to try his first alcoholic drink. Josh caved then just to avoid further conflict, and that was what he did once more. With a sigh, he took a sip of beer to push down the masticated food down his throat.

“There,” he said, looking at Gary as if to ask “are you happy now?”

The answer to that however, was no, since Gary placed his hands on his hips and replied, “I said a chug, mate. You ain’t fooling anyone with that sissy sip.”

Josh fought every urge to roll his eyes and just put the mouth of the bottle to his lips and took a few good gulps that made his throat feel like it was burning. He could hear Jane cheering him on and Gary whistling.

“Alright! Good lad!” Gary heavily patted him on his shoulder as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “There’s more where that came from so enjoy the party,” Gary winked at him before offering an arm to his wife. “Come on, Jane, your girl friend’s looking for you.” Jane clung onto his arm and together, they turned to go. Gary made sure to give a small wave at Josh as they walked away, happily shouting, “Welcome to the house, Joshy!’

“It’s just Josh!” Josh called out after them, but they were already too busy greeting other people. Finally left alone and still somewhat unsure what to feel about what just happened, he looked down at the plate and beer in his hands, then at the mess all around. The thought of moving out not only crossed his mind, but if flashed with bright neon lights. The only problem was that he had already paid for three months’ worth of rent. He had only spent less than 24 hours in that house and met three out of the five housemates, yet he was already sure he wouldn’t survive a week.