My First and Last Love

CHAPTER TWO

BERNARD already fell asleep but was awoken by his phone ringing. It’s Richard calling. His brow furrows seeing the time. This guy must have a good reason for calling him late.

“What?” he said in a semi-annoyed tone. Who wouldn’t be when your sleep got disturbed?

“Are you home?”

“Where exactly do you expect me to be at this hour, Richard? It’s already eleven in the evening, of course, I’m home and actually sleeping when you called.”

“I badly need a friend right now, Bernard.”

“Nah. I know you’d just play around. Go disturb your best friend, not me.”

“Never mind. I’m sorry for the hassle. Good night.”

Before the call got canceled he heard a car honking in Richard’s background the same time the car passes and honks in front of their house. He runs towards the window to confirm his guess and he was right, Richard was outside their gate soaked in rain and still in his uniform. Was he serious about needing a friend? He doesn’t seem to be in his normal self.

He opened the window and shouted. “Hey, you i***t. Stay there!” Good thing his parents weren’t home that night. Seeing Richard in point-blank, that’s only when he notices how puffy his face and under his eyes were.

“Hey, what’s wrong? Why are you-,” he wasn’t able to finish his words when Richard hugs him and starts sobbing. Knowing how jolly this guy usually was, he felt guilty for sending him away. “You’re making me worried, Richard. What happened?”

“D-do you, h-hate gays, t-too?”

He got speechless for a moment, absorbing what Richard asked all of a sudden. “W-why do you ask?”

“Because I am.”

RICHARD knows Bernard has a lot of questions but just stayed silent even after he changed his clothes and has calmed down. Bernard is just looking at him and like waiting for him to talk first.

Bernard is one of his closest friends. He’s honestly worried and afraid to tell him everything. No matter how close they are, there is still a possibility that he’d feel betrayed, deceived. They have seen everything in each other and he might think that he took advantage of their friendship for his gayness.

“Aren’t you disgusted with me? We’ve been friends since the first year and here I am, suddenly confessing to you that I’m gay.”

 “Honestly, I’m happy because you have that much trust in me. Telling other people about something you’ve been keeping like all your life is never that easy. I actually envy you for having that courage to be yourself.”

The way Bernard talks and seeing his facial expression, it feels like his worries were meaningless. It’s still weird though. Why it’s like he’s seeing the sadness in Bernard’s eyes?

HE was too afraid to confess and tell his friends the truth about his true self because he’s too afraid they’d reject him. But now, suddenly, he finds out that his friend is gay. He knows his friend is going through something because of that but he somehow felt relieved. Even so, he still doesn’t have enough courage to come out of his shell.

He considers Richard as his best friend but he’s also close with Thomas and Donald. He’s also aware how Thomas and Richard’s bond are much tighter than with him and Donald. For this guy to go to him and not to his bestest friend, he assumed that it could be Thom that Richard was referring to who hates gays.

“Does Thomas know about this already?”

“He’s the first one who knew.”

Then he must be right.

“And he said he doesn’t want to be friends with you because of that?”

“I don’t know if he’d still want me as his friend after breaking up with me.”

His eyes widen in more surprise. He’s dumbfounded. “Wait- what? How-. But-. I don’t know what to say. Wait, I’m still trying to absorb everything you said. So, does that mean Thomas is gay too?”

“I’m sure he is but he’s like denying it again. I can’t tell you in detail but it’s like he wants to go straight again.”

What a small world indeed.

He’s curious about the details but as friends, they have practiced this does not force him if he doesn’t want to talk about it with respect. He doesn’t know how and when it started but it just happened that way.

“So that’s the reason why you came to me. Now I’m hurt.”

“You know you’ve always been one of my best friends, Bernard.”

He’s just kidding. Even if they find Thomas as Richard’s best friend, Richard is actually the kind of person who treats his friends equally. Maybe they just felt that because the two really have that special bond to one another.

Seeing how down and hurt Richard is, he must be so in love with Thomas. He’s curious and really wanted to know why Thom did that to someone like Richard. For him, he’s the best boyfriend he could ever wish for.

“Do you still have a plan to pursue him?”

“I don’t know.”

“You should know, Richard, so I can help.”

“Help?”

“I have no plans to be your bridge but I can help you to move on. So if you’d choose the latter, we’ll start tomorrow right away. Do you want to go on a date after class? As your new bestest friend, it’s my responsibility to help you move on. But of course, it’s still you who has to pay,” he said with a wide and silly smile.