I am Alpha

Chapter Two.

I decided not to go back to sleep. I was too restless for the day to come and too weary from the dreams I had when I did sleep.

So after I did my business in the bathroom and brushed my teeth, I did some training until the sun came up.

Despite not being able to train with Jack anymore, at least not regularly like we used to, I kept up the training by myself. I liked the feeling of being strong, and the exercise helped clear my head.

Eventually the sun came up, I'm sweating, despite the cold of my room. I have been punching a large burlap sack filled with an assortment of grain and gravel that Jack put together for me, that I hung not so discreetly in my closet.

The maids are aware of what I do here. I'm not sure if the Alpha knows or not, but as long as I'm not in danger and I'm not bothering him or his Luna, I don't think he cares what I do here.

I hear a pair of feet coming up the stairs toward my room. I can smell that it is two maids. They're coming to dress and prepare me for the ball.

I let them in, opening the door almost as soon as they knock on it, startling them. I never had this keen of senses before, but they've been growing stronger this past year. And I have practiced using them avidly.

"Come on in, ladies." I greet them with a bright smile. Sweat beads on their faces too, likely from climbing the tall tower, which has no lift. One of the maids, Mira, my favorite, returns the smile with a slight bow and strides into my room purposefully. The other, a new girl whose name I think is Didra, bows also but does not look me in the eyes or return my smile. She strides in shoulders hunched as if she submits in life as well as in her work.

Didra is young, maybe 16 or 17, skin pale and gaunt, as if she spent most of her life underfed, but her body was strong. Even the lowest of wolves have a strength unbridled to their human counterparts. She was shorter than me by at least a head.

Didra stood next to Mira in waiting, who looks quite the opposite of Didra.

Mira is almost as tall as me, but plumper, and older with streaks of grey lining her scalp. Her face is hard but lines frame her cheeks and eyes, proof she is practiced at smiling. And her skin so dark it would serve to hide her almost completely if the sun was down, though her wolf is a bright silver and makes her standout incredibly in the moonlight. And where Didra stood, shoulders sagged, Mira wore a proud posture.

"Well don't stand there gawking all day, we have lots of work to do." Mira said, her hands clapping as if to say chop chop.

Mira doesn't bull s**t.

After a bath of them scrubbing, plucking and shaving me until I felt raw and cleaner than I might have called necessary, I moved to the small vanity in my room. I sat in the rickety chair, the legs squeaking on the floor as it adjusted to my weight.

I rarely get dressed by my maids. It is only when my appearance at a party or a meeting is necessary that I do so. Though the Luna would prefer it if maids dressed me anytime I would go out in public.

It's been almost a year since I sat in this chair and I did not feel at home when Mira went to work on my hair as Didra started on my nails.

I look at myself in the scratchy mirror as Mira tries to gently detangle my red curls. My eyes have a bit of darkness under them from lack of sleep, but my cheeks are flushed and my lips pouty making me look almost angelic. A stark contrast to my strong cheek bones and hard green eyes, the bone structure more wolfish than not, the bushy red eyebrows only adding to the effect. If I held a different expression on my face I might look beautiful, though, maybe in a wild way. I might even look innocent. I might look like a princess.

But I was not a princess. I was a wolf in sheep's clothing.

I thought maybe the Alpha saw that. Saw the mischief that had in my eyes. Saw the looming darkness and frayed energy that I tried to hide with bright smiles and shy glances to the ground.

I might not have my wolf... yet. But I have always felt powerful. And the more I get treated like a delicate flower, the more my inner beast wants to play.

"Didra, right?"

I ask, tearing my gaze from my own, to try to catch hers. She looked up into my eyes for only a moment, before she bowed her head back down.

Her eyes... They were... purple?

"Yes, Milady."

I took her chin in the hand that she was not working on at the time and looked at her eyes properly. She glared at me. I glared back, which seemed to frighten her so I dropped her chin and said "You have beautiful eyes, Didra. I've never seen any like them. I'm sorry if I overstepped your boundaries."

"It's okay Milady."

"And please don't slouch. You are a wolf and you should stand proud like one."

"Yes, milady." That was all I got. I wanted more of an explanation on how her eyes were that color, or why she stood so submissively, but I also did not want to pry. So I did not.

After 4 hours of more plucking and pulling, fussing with my makeup and then dressing me into the tightest corset I have ever worn in my life, they left me to fetch my dresses for the day. One of the dresses, my ball gown, is meant to be presented as a surprise from the Alpha. A gift.

I sat on the duvet on my bed, trying to catch my breath through this awful corset. I was only wearing my underclothes, thick legs draped over the side and leaning back on my arms. I'm watching myself in the vanity. My hips poured out of the corset, and my breast did the same. I look sensual in this position.

And if this day wasn't one of the most terrifying I've ever faced, I might even feel sensual.

I might wish for a certain wolf guard to walk in unannounced whilst in this position.

Might touch myself as he would watch me with dark eyes.

But instead I just look at myself. My now silky long hair is hanging down in soft waves touching the middle of my back, elaborately studded with white crystals and moonstone beads.

I didn't often feel terror. In my past, on my excursions out of the castle, either with the Alpha or by myself, I've seen things that haunt me in my dreams. Rogues tearing at the flesh of a young she-wolf. Children bleeding and screaming from broken bones so gnarly, they would never heal to be the same. But even then, I did not feel frightened, but a sense of duty or purpose filled me. The terror only caught up to me in my dreams.

But the prospect of mating a man I don't know... a sense of pure unadulterated dread filled me.

The beauty that looked back at me in the mirror wasn't me. It didn't feel like me.

That was because it was not for me. The dress that is supposed to be my surprise isn't even for me. The same way this mating ball is not for me. Every year an Alpha may present a Mating ball held on either a winter or summer solstice.

My Alpha thought it would be fitting to present me on my 19th birthday, which so happens to fall on the Winter Solstice.

The solstice is a powerful holiday for all things magic. That includes werewolves, or the lycanthrope. So it is a prime day for wolves to find their mates, to solidify a powerful bond right off the bat.

But I will not marry my mate, or if I do I have no way of knowing he's my mate. Our wolves are the only ones who are able to scent and claim their mate, and as I have no wolf yet, I will not claim a mate tonight. Or at least my Goddess-given mate.

Wolves are able to take a chosen mate, and once they have chosen their mate, they cannot mate with anyone else. At least to bare children anyway. There are wolves out there that take consorts, especially in arranged matches. Perhaps I could also?

But no... tonight is about alliances, not finding my mate. It's about schmoozing the Alpha's of bordering packs, and marrying me off to whichever Alpha's offers the strongest alliance, or so says my Luna. I wont necessarily be mated the Alpha either. I may be married to a beta or gamma, someone in the desired Alpha's pack that cements a courtship between our two packs.

I will be used as a token tonight. A purchase of sorts. But I am determined that I will have a choice. I will fight for that choice and neither Alpha will like it, because they cannot command me like they could any other She-wolf. And if they try to force me... they will see just how much trouble I can be.

When I make the decision to fight, a bright orange glint shines behind my irises in the mirror. My face blanches as I blink and lean forward to see myself closer. I could have sworn I saw fire in my eyes. Real fire.

Could that have been my wolf peaking through? Is she finally ready to make herself known to the world? I hope so. I could use the extra help for the day ahead of me.