Chapter 5
989 Words
Staring at the girl before her, Yue Yan found it incredibly difficult to connect her with the spoiled little boy she used to know. One was male, the other female; one was an ordinary boy, the other an exquisitely beautiful girl! To a normal person, such a connection would seem utterly impossible. Yet, Yue Yan had a persistent feeling that this girl and her “little brother” shared some kind of inextricable link.
That feeling was confirmed the moment Yue Yan’s hand rested on Tian Ling’s head. The sensation of her stroking his hair was just too similar, right down to its texture. Even a tiny bump didn't escape her notice. And that little boy frequently had little bumps on his head. According to her “little brother’s” own descriptions, his gentle older sister often bopped him on the head. Although the boy claimed his sister didn’t use much force, a bump or two was perfectly normal from being bopped so often. And right now, the bump Yue Yan was touching was clearly a new one! How could a new bump confirm he was the little boy? It could! Yue Yan was absolutely confident. Judging by the bump’s location, it was in the exact spot the little boy most often got them. And from the size of the bump, she could even deduce the force of the blow. This location, this force—Yue Yan was ninety percent sure it was the work of the same person! Even if this adorable little thing wasn't the little boy, she was, at the very least, his older or younger sister.
For Yue Yan, who loved to pat the heads of lolis and shotas, the ability to detect bumps was the first and most crucial step in her Great Art of Affectionate Conversion! Only those who could analyze the inner hearts of little lolis and shotas through head-patting could grow into a truly loving big sister. And a loving big sister—that was the title Yue Yan had always strived for!
And so, on impulse, Yue Yan tentatively asked, “Little brother?”
Basking in Yue Yan’s gentle pats, how could Tian Ling possibly notice so many details? How could he have imagined that Yue Yan had confirmed his identity with a simple touch? When Yue Yan uttered that single question, “Little brother,” Tian Ling’s reaction was almost subconscious. A soft “Mmm” escaped his lips.
“Mmm?” Yue Yan’s eyes widened. She hadn’t expected him to respond so naturally, and that very naturalness sealed his identity. “Little brother, it is you!” Almost shouting with glee, Yue Yan threw her arms around Tian Ling’s neck and, with a sudden, mighty pull, instantly chest-killed him with her enormous “bosom-weapons”…
Talk about a ferocious bust!
“H-Help…” Crushed between two great peaks, Tian Ling could barely breathe. His delicate little hands flailed about, struggling…
At this moment, Tian Ling finally understood why the things called “chests” (xiong) were so aptly named—they were a type of “weapon” (qi)! A terrifying weapon that could kill silently, a weapon some people would die to be killed by—a bosom-weapon! So ferocious…
…
Having escaped the bosom-weapons, Tian Ling finally understood the value of fresh air. His little face, flushed red, gasped for huge mouthfuls of… fresh bosom-weapon. Perhaps because he had always been dressed as a boy before, Tian Ling had never been subjected to such a “chest-killing.” But now that he was a girl, the doting Yue Yan had lost all her inhibitions. Her adorable affection had nearly scared Tian Ling to death.
Busty women are ferocious women, Tian Ling thought.
“Little brother, er… little sister, why were you pretending to be a boy? You’re so pretty. Was it to keep the boys away? Mmm, that makes sense. A girl as cute as you would be eaten alive by boys. Why, even Big Sis wants to eat you up right now!” The gentle big sister persona had vanished, replaced by a full-on black-bellied schemer. Without waiting for Tian Ling to speak, Yue Yan chattered on, “Why did you want to get a part-time job here? To keep Big Sis company? My adorable little sister, you’re so thoughtful! Come here, let Big Sis get a little rub.” Before Tian Ling could react, an ecstatic Yue Yan pressed her face against his cheek and began rubbing vigorously.
“So smooth, so soft, it feels so good…”
“Warm and tender…”
…
“Big Sis…” After about ten minutes, Tian Ling finally protested, his little fists clenched. But the way he brandished them was so unbelievably cute that it only sent Yue Yan into a fit of giggles, after which she scooped him up and planted several more kisses on his cheeks.
“Wuuu… Big Sis, stop playing… I need your help with something,” Tian Ling said helplessly, doing his best to make his voice sound like he was crying. It was a loli’s special privilege, wasn't it?
“What’s wrong?” The sound of a loli crying would break the heart of any loving big sister, and Yue Yan was no exception. Seeing Tian Ling’s face, which looked like it was about to be hit by a torrential downpour, she couldn’t stop herself from pulling him into her embrace. Murmuring “Don’t cry, don’t cry,” she proceeded to stuff his head right back into her bosom…
Damn it. I am *never* using this trick on a busty woman ever again. This was Tian Ling’s final thought before he fainted. Poor Tian Ling still couldn’t escape the fate of being chest-killed.
Being cute, it seems, is a crime in itself.
At that very same moment, Tian Ling was still running for her life, tears streaming down her face…
- Writer
