I Can't Stand You, Sherlock

Chapter 20: Back

I was free. No Sherlock, no Scotland Yard, no John to tell me what to do and how to act. I was completely and utterly free. But why wasn't I happy? I didn't feel liberated even though I should. Shouldn't I be happy for myself? I was disappointed more than anything, at who, I really didn't know. Me, Sherlock, it didn't matter. Maybe I needed time. I knew what used to make me feel better and I was willing to get into it again.

I could hear a man behind me yelling into his phone saying it wasn't his fault he messed up some failed relationship. He had to be talking to his wife and from the words he was using, I'm guessing he was talking about an affair that he had.

The way he was talking I could tell he hit her. He words were harsh as I heard venom in his voice. He was abusive. This made me sick, people made me sick. They were so flawed, all of them. I was so over the human race right now. They were always there to let you down, hurt you, or stab you in the back. Why even let them in? I shouldn't be around people. People were always out for themself's, they didn't care about others. The fragile got hurt and the strong prevailed. This is why I survived this long.

I wanted to teach this man a lesson and because I had no one watching over my shoulder I could do whatever I wanted.

This was going to be easy. I needed this to register on an emotional level to him. I needed to look weak and helpless in front of him to get his attention and maybe he would follow me. I had about a 50-50 chance. I glanced at him with tears in my eyes and walked down an ally and sat down with my back to the wall with my head in my arms. Now all I had to do was wait.

"Miss can I help you?" A voice gently in front of me.

I looked up at him and smiled. "In fact you can." I said as I got up from the ground and punched him in the stomach and took his wallet in the proses. "Think about what you say to your wife next time." I said and elbowed him in the back, causing him to topple over. I smirk came to my face as I walked away. I was back on top. Rori Anderson was back. I took the main road again and dug into the wallet I just got. 200 quid that would last me a couple days. Oh and what was this? I pulled out a debit card with a smile. I was going shopping. Before I did anything more I had to change my looks because after all I was now on the run.

I went to the closest hair dresser and when the girl asked me what I wanted, I was silent. I looked at my reflection in the mirror. I knew I needed something totally different from what I had now, I needed something that wasn't me. Dye my hair black, dye the tips white, shave half my head. Just do something that wasn't me. "Cut five inches off." I said before I knew what was coming out of my mouth.

"Ok sure." She said and smiled.

I knew this would make it easy for them to find me but I didn't care for some reason. I didn't want to think about it now.

As soon as I was out of the hair dressers I went to the national rail way. I had a long way to go to get home.

"It's 100 quid miss." The women said who was selling the boat tickets to get to Ireland.

"I only have 80 and I really need to see my grandmother, she's sick and I traveled all the way from London..." I pouted and made the saddest face I could. I did have 100 but I knew by the photos with her kids hanging up in the back wall of her office she was a softy for family. I could get it down to 80, I knew it.

After a second she sighed and said, "ok kid, here you go." As she said this she handed me a ticket without even paying.

"What about the 80?"

"You can keep it for the ride back. The man on the other side isn't as soft as me."

"Thank you so much." I said and gave her a small smile then walked over to the boat and got on. That went better than I thought. I held back a smile knowing what I got away with. I still had that charm.

I sat down on a seat on the boat and looked around. It wasn't that full and the people that were here were business people. I would pinch a couple wallets to get some extra money but I was a bit worn out from all the traveling. I hadn't slept in about 23 hours and I was beyond tired.

I blew my still running nose then closed my eyes as I listened to the people around me talk. A couple close to me was talking about what they were going to do in Dublin and another person was talking to her husband saying that she got on the boat late and put the kids to bed without her.

I hadn't hear this kind of normal conversation in such a long time. For so long I had been use to Sherlock and his antics. It was going to take some time to get use to life without him. He kept me on my toes, he kept me from being bored. He was my new normal and without him, who was going to help me adjust? I didn't linger on this thought for long and soon I fell into a deep sleep.

I looked around at the bustling town that I grew up in. it hadn't changed a bit. I smiled to myself as I walked down one of the cobble stone roads thinking about the memories I had here.

I had my first kiss on the street corner next to the water fountain when I was 14 and I stole my first wallet in front of that store when I was 13. I remembered then I got home to Nan's house and told her what I did, oh she was mad. She said a proper lady would never do that. She always saw the best in me. To her, I was always a princess but then again she never really knew the real me because I knew I was none of that.

I shook my head to clear it. I told myself that I wouldn't came back to think only about old memories, I wasn't here for that. I had more bad memories here then I did have good ones and soon those memories would creep up on me.

My Grandmother's house was just down the road from here. I could walk there if I wanted to so I could be alone for a little longer. I frowned because I knew this couldn't happen. I needed to call Amelia and Walter to tell them I was here. I tossed my phone though when I left London so I needed to pick up another one somewhere.

I spotted a supermarket and walked into to it. I picked the cheapest phone and handed it to the cashier.

"You new?" He asked me as he rang up the phone.

I nodded at him. "Something like that." I said and paid him.

"Well you picked a terrible time to come. It's going to rain for the next two weeks."

Sounds like nothing changed. "Thanks for the heads up." I said and left the store. I got a phone out of it's packaging then I took out a piece of paper I had in my pocket with numbers on it. I dialed one of the numbers and hit enter. "Hello?" a man's voice said on the other end.

I recognized this voice in an instant and knew it was Walter. His voice hadn't changed at all. "Hello Walter. It's Ro- I mean Maire."

"Oh Maire! Wow! Are you here!? In Dublin?" he said with excitement in his voice.

"Yeah." I said with tiredness in my voice.

"Where are you, I'll pick you up."

I looked around and spotted a sign that said main street. "Main Street by the supermarket."

"I know where you're at. Don't move I'll be there in five." He said and hung up the phone.

I watched the people around me walk from store to store. There wasn't many people out for a Saturday night. It was a slow day or maybe just a slow town. I hadn't been back in years and I forgot how depressing it was here. It was not nearly as exciting as London. I looked up at the gray sky as it started to rain. Perfect just my luck. There is nothing here for me. Why did I even come back?

"Maire! Maire!" a young man my age with blonde hair waved to me from a small junky yellow car.

"Walter!" I said and smiled as I grabbed my bag and ran up to the car to avoid getting too wet.

"So how are you?" he said with his thick Irish accent.

"I've been better."

"Oh, yeah sorry about that, duh." He said and hit himself on the head.

"Yeah." I breathed out. I hoped into the passenger seat of the car and buckled myself in.

"Where's your accent? Did you trade it for one of those fancy London ones?" Walter asked with a chuckle as we drove out of town.

"It get less questions when I don't have an Irish accent. But I do let it slide some times." I said, slipping back into my Irish way of speaking.

"Wow, it's good to have you back. We missed you here." He said and chuckle.

"So, what have you been doing?" I asked as I tried change the topic. As much as they said they missed me, I knew that they didn't because I didn't miss him. I felt like I was failing as I tried to make small talk with one of my only friends from my childhood.

"Just hanging round here I guess. It's been quite since you left, that's for sure. I don't do white collar things anymore. I'm a bank manager now."

"That's amazing. Great for you." I said and forced a smile at him. One of the reasons I stopped talking to my old friends was because I was just going to hold them back from their true potential. I was never going to have a job like that. I was always going to jump around towns go from job to job. They needed stability, something that I couldn't give them.

"So life has been good? Yeah?"

"Yeah it was good." I said as I looked out the window of the car. It was much greener here than it was in London. That was something that I did miss, all the green.

He took a turn left and pulled up to a small two story stone house with roses growing up the sides. "Well this is it."

"This is your house?" I asked, amazed at how beautiful it was for being such a small house. I was used to seeing the mansions in London, I forgot how cute these small houses could be.

"Yeah, mine and Ameila's."

"Whoa, wait, you two got married?!" I said and smiled at him.

"Yeah, for two months now." He said and smiled as he showed me his ring on his finger. I was surprised I didn't notice it before now. I think I was getting too tired to pay much attention to what was around me.

"That is fantastic. Really it is." I always thought they would be good for each other.

After a few seconds of silence Walter spoke up. "Maire why did you change your name? I tried so hard to find you after you left. Maire, it would be a lie if I said that I wasn't hurt when you left without a word. We all were. No note or anything, just gone one day and no way to find you." He frowned.

I knew that this conversation would be brought up but I wasn't thinking he would bring it up so quickly. There were many reasons why I did that. I needed a change, I needed a larger ocean to swim in so I took a job in London. I also thought that me leaving them was the best thing that I could have done for them. They needed stability and I needed something bigger in life. I didn't realize that it bothered them because it didn't bother me as much. "I was holding you back. Look at how happy you are without me. I was no good for you Walter."

"You were everything to me Maire." Walter said and got out of the car.

I didn't know what to say. Walter and I dated but I always knew that it was Amelia who he really loved. I got out of the car and walked into the house right behind him. Once I came into the house, the smell of baked goods hit me like a pile of bricks. Ameila always loved to cook.

"Oh Walter is that you? Did you get her?" A young women said as she rounded the corner. Her black hair was pulled into a messy bun and her blue eyes shined like they used to when we were young. She stopped at looked at me and then a smile hit her face. "Maire."

"Hi Ameila." I said and smiled back at her.

"I told myself I wasn't going to hug you when I saw you back, I can't help myself." She said and ran up to me and hugged me.

"It's ok." I said as I wrapped my arms around her lightly for a second and pushed her back. I was still trying to work on the issue.

"Was that a hug back?" she said and smiled at me.

"Kind of." I shrugged.

"What have you been up too? You were in London, yeah? How was that?" Ameila asked as she lead me to their family room.

I looked around the small family room then I walked over to their couch and sat down. "It's a long story but it's a story but I'll be willing you tell you guys." I said and sighed.

"ok." Walter and Ameila said at once and sat down on chairs next to the couch.

I told them about my name change and life with Kale and the heists we did together. How inspirable we were. I told them about how I got framed and got put into prison for something that I didn't do. And last but not least I told them about my life with Sherlock Holmes, Miss Hudson, and John Watson and the cases I helped out. Finally I told them how I started to think I could have a life in London and how Sherlock let me down.

After I was done talking I looked at the time and I was surprised that a two hours had gone by and it was going on midnight. I didn't realize that I had talked so long.

"You deserve a life of not running." Ameila said finally after everything I told them.

I sighed and shook my head. "No I don't." I would love want sure if I wasn't a wanted person but now that was not an option. I sealed that deal as soon as I left London.

"And why do you say that Maire? Because I know for a fact that you deserve everything this life has to offer. You are a great person with good motives. I never got why you kept selling yourself sort even when we were young because you're amazing."

What she said made me shift in my seat. I didn't know what to say. I hated complements like this. I wasn't amazing, I had so many flaws, so many I stopped counting them.

"Maire, you know the reason I fell in love with you? I never told you this but when you find something that you truly love doing, I can see it in your face, your confident and radiant. You have the mindset that if you want something, nothing can stop you. That's what I admired about you. You're a good person with good morals, for the most part." Walter said and gave a chuckle.

I forced a smirk at them and said, "thank you."

"We really mean what we say." Ameila said and yawned.

There was a good minute or two of silence and then Walter said, "well I have to wake up early tomorrow for work and you probably want to go to sleep so I'll show you to your room." And with that Walter stood up and started to walk up the stairs.