The Clumsy Designer

Chapter 10

"Χρόνια πολλά, κάνε μια ευχή! (Happy Birthday, make a wish!)" I excitedly clasped my hands together and eagerly waited for Ametrine to blow her candles.

This woman is now twenty-two years old and f*****g blooming!

Ametrine and Carnelian's birthday were only two days apart but Lian wished not to celebrate her birthday as for next year she plans to bankrupt Dad with her eighteenth birthday.

When the candles were out, everybody screamed and clapped in joy.

Dad rented a whole resort for us, including the housemaids and drivers as it was Ametrine's birthday wish for them to join us. The setting and weather was right, the skies were blue and the breeze was not too cold for us so we could enjoy the Greek sun before it could set.

Then the music blasted loudly indicating that the party had started.

On the corner of my eye, I see Dad approaching Ametrine with a gift in his hands. It was only a small box but eyeing it, I could tell that it was expensive.

I try my hardest not to look, but I couldn't help it when Ametrine just accepted it and gave Dad an awkward side hug before walking away.

As Ametrine walked up to the twins, I slowly approached Dad and gave him a reassuring smile.

"Don't worry Daddy, you're trying. That's what matters," I cheered him up, he only gave me a half-smile before excusing himself and walking away to join Mama.

Sighing, I fish my phone out for a minute to quickly send a text to my ever funny and handsome boyfriend.

I was about to text him, but he was also typing and soon he sent me a picture of himself with his fingers in an 'L' pose placed on his forehead as he looked sassily at the camera and at the background I could see Aidan and his friends laughing.

Smiling, I replied back to him saying how silly he was.

Almost immediately, he replied.

Fr: Baby

Hey buttercup, y r u on ur phone??

Btw, you're so beautiful I saw it on ur sister's ig

You look bootyful!

I love you, always will enjoy ur sister's birthday there

Greet me a happy birthday for her, will ya?

Biting the inside of my cheek, I felt giddy and replied to all of his texts. Then a notification popped out from the top of my phone, receiving another text.

Fr: Nic

I gotta tell you something...

"BOO!"

"f**k!" With surprise evident all over my face, I dropped my phone in complete surprise and wanted to punch out the living daylights of Lian who was looking at me with smugness in her eyes and obviously teasing me.

She thinks she’s funny huh?

"Everyone's having a drink and enjoying their time, but you're over here and wasting your time on that stupid gadget."

As if proving her point, her mouth points to my phone who was now on the ground and the screen with cracks.

Groaning, I picked it up and showed it to her face.

"Look what have you done!"

"Eh!" Then she only shrugged before laughing at me and running away probably knowing that I will catch up to her and knock her up with some good sense.

"You're glowing Blue, I like that guy for you."

Ametrine came over to me with a smile on her face, I sighed dramatically and placed a hand over my chest.

"Oh please, it's your birthday not mine!"

"Hmm, still that doesn't mean that I can't compliment you," She says, and bumps her hips with me before giving me a wide smile.

"So, when will you go back to New York?" She asks, placing her drink at the table beside her before she ushers me to walk and not mind the loud music and screams of Lian and Gold.

"Ouch, you want me to go away soon?" I ask, faking my hurt but in reality I was missing my Lucifer badly.

"i***t, that's not what I mean," She tapped my forehead before turning to me.

"Tomorrow night, but before I go I wanna catch up with some of Grandma's diaries to know her life 'ya know since we didn't have that much time with her," I said, smiling at the thought of my Grandma's beautiful youthful days and deeply in love with my Pappous.

"I suggest you don't read those journals, Blue," She adamantly said, and by mean adamant Ametrine's voice then turned serious.

Sighing I rolled my eyes at her.

"Why are you stopping me? I just want to know what her life was like," I pouted, jokingly whining.

"I'll tell you myself, I already read those," She says, like she was hiding something from me that was written inside those journals.

"No no, don't tell me. I want to read it myself!" I said with determination, with this eagerness of her to pursue me to not read those journals of Yiayia only made me more curious than ever.

"Blue, don't be difficult for God's sake!" She shouted after me when I turned my back to her then started walking away.

"Don't tell me that when you're the one who's making Dad feel bad!" I shouted back, and then the music stopped.

I could feel all pairs of eyes towards me and Ametrine. No, I don't like this kind of attention. Please make it go away.

"You don't know anything, Blue. If you only knew what I know, you wouldn't be like that," Full of venom in her voice, Ametrine said with her gaze hardened.

Before I could answer her back, she walked away making me feel f*****g bad.

"Girls, what was that?" Mama asked with concern laced all over her voice, shaking my head to indicate that it was nothing.

"Nothing, please. I just want to be alone for now." I could feel my tears threatening to fall, grasping my broken phone to my chest, I ran away and went inside the cottage reserved for me.

Locking the doors, I fell into my bed and immediately my tears ran down from my eyes.

Ametrine and I don't usually fight, and if we do we don't shout at each other but this is the first time that she raises her voice at me and if it would be other people, I could take it.

But no.

It was Ametrine.

Trying to control my emotions, I tried looking up so my tears would just stop but it only made my eyes burn and so I buried my face into the pillow and cried my eyes out.

I should have controlled myself too, I just ruined her twenty-second birthday.

Feeling bad, I tried opening my phone but to no avail.

Suddenly feeling alone, my tears brimmed even more.

=====

"Blue, Blue?"

I furiously tried to wipe away my tears as I didn't want anyone to witness me in such a state during my sister's birthday.

Then the worried face of my father came into view and he immediately went to my side and gave me a comforting hug.

"Don't worry Dad, I'm alright. Where's Ametrine?" I ask, but he only shakes his head at me.

"Your sister left, I told her to talk to you but she said she wanted to have a breath of fresh air. Don't worry, I'm sure she's not mad at you. Ametrine can never be mad at you," Dad reassures me and gives me a comforting pat in the shoulder.

"I hope too, I'll just talk to her once we arrive back home."

There's no sense in trying to talk to her if she's not calmed down, she might only say more hurtful things to me and I want to avoid that.

I don't want to change my perspective on how I see her.

"Patri, let us be honest to each other please. Why don't Ametrine want me to read Yiayia's letters?" I asked and just went straight ahead to the point.

I'm tired of their mind games, why don't they just relieve me of it then tell me the whole truth.

"Ask your sister."

That f*****g answer.

"No, no Patri. It's your turn to answer my questions, so tell me? Why doesn't she want me to?" My voice turned serious, then his look also got all serious, his tensed shoulder broadened even more and the worry lines that were starting to show since he is aging are more prominent.

But he still doesn't speak yet, he was looking at me with uncertainty.

As if he was beating himself inside whether to answer me or not.

A few minutes pass by and I realize that he really doesn't plan to answer me.

"Whatever, I'm going back first," I say with a disappointed sigh but as I walk past him, Patri grabs my elbow and turns me to him.

"Please, just let her answer your questions. I can't Blue, I'm a coward," He shamefully admits, then he gave me a lingering kiss on my forehead before walking away with slumped shoulders probably thinking that he ruined another relationship with one of his children.

I stood there, not moving.

Maybe these are the moments where I should believe in, "Some things are better left unanswered."

But no.

I kept having a feeling that there was a void within my heart.

Like I have to explore that origin, and the only person that I think can fill the void in my heart is learning about the life of my biological mother, Avianna.

And it feels like my dreams that I hear Patri shouting or saying her name was like a signal or some kind of weird sign. I don't know her voice, but I would give up my life just to hear it.

Brushing my hair with my fingers, I looked at the view and breathed in.

"Hi Ate Blue, what are you doing here?" Opal asks from behind me.

Turning to her, I only told her that I was thinking about me and Ametrine's little heated argument.

"Don't worry, Ate Ametrine will never get mad at you for too long. Same goes for all of us, though I sometimes wish that she spends time with me," She says, reassuring me but then her words caught my attention.

"What do you mean? Doesn't Ametrine spend time with all of you?" I ask with genuine confusion.

Ametrine was close to all of us, and to hear Opal say that is like I was inside a fake bubble.

"She does every free time she has, but lately I see her reading yiayia's diaries again last month. Last month was one of the worst, there were more heated arguments between her and Dad. I thought you knew?" She raises a brow.

Last month, reading yiayia's diaries... again?

Huh?

"What do you mean by again?" I ask, wanting her to elaborate it to me.

"When yiayia died, she and Ate Ametrine had a private talk and I think it has something to do with those diaries. I think it was after a few months moving back here from Italy and I was around nine, Ate would bring me to the library with her at the back and that was the location that the journals were placed right? She would read a lot of them everyday while I read on my own. I asked her what she was reading and she answered that it was Yiayia's personal diary," She stopped to breathe while I looked at her like she was crazy.

Why is she trying to say this all in one breath?

"I asked her if I could read it, she said no and so I didn't-"

"Really obedient as ever, Opal," I remarked, she sheepishly smiled at me before tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

"But one time, she was reading and then she suddenly broke into tears. I was confused, I hugged and asked her what the problem was but she kept on mumbling that you shouldn't know."

What shouldn't I know?

What's with Ametrine and her mysteries?

Hearing this from Opal, my curiosity blossomed even more and f**k, that is not a good thing.

"Is that all?" I ask, I was now staring at nothing in particular and started processing them one by one.

"No, because that's when Ate and Dad's relationship started going downhill. She became more cold and distant towards him, she only answered him a few words if not few words, they would get into a heated argument." Opal sighs, also worried about the deteriorating relationship of our Patri and dear Ametrine.

I know Ametrine, she doesn't get angry for one small reason only.

My Patri must have done something big for Ametrine to treat him this way.

"I'll go back inside, don't stay here Ate Blue, you might get cold," She says, giving me a warm smile before turning back and heading inside.

Deciding to go back home first, I wanted to send a quick text to my father to say that I'll head home first but then I remember that my phone isn't f*****g turning the s**t on.

"Curse you Lian," I muttered underneath my breath, of course I didn't mean it.

Already missing my boyfriend, I just went straight home and used my laptop to contact him.

In less than an hour, Dan and I quickly arrived at the house.

Going straight to my room, I immediately opened my laptop and scheduled a skype for Lucifer.

And after much contemplation, I decided to go to the back of the library.

Passing some shelves, I finally reached the archives section.

Remembering where my yiayia's diaries were, I walked to the exact same location and the once one shelf that was filled with yiayia's diaries, there were only ten remaining.

What the f**k?

Where are the others?

I begin checking every date, and on the front cover of the journal you will see a year engraved in meaning that was yiayia's journal for that particular year.

I know I stopped reading yiayia's 1955 year of thoughts, where she and Pappous finally married.

Oh God damn it, now I have to search them one by one because this person looked like they messed up the order.

Fuck!

===

Frustrated, I left the library since I wasn't able to find anything there or even the rest of the journals.

God, I just want to know what was my yiayia's life before she died.

Proceeding to the pool, I sat by the edge and decided to soak my feet in it. I was leaving in less than three hours, I deserve a break from all of these family issues.

Closing my eyes, I breathe in the cool breeze of Greece's wind. Occasionally shivering as it was really cold. Damn, Christmas is just around the f*****g corner.

"Why are you alone here, dear?"

My neck snapped to the direction where I heard the voice and it was from behind me, Mama Gheniese walked out with a smile on her face only in her robe, probably getting ready to sleep.

Yeah, she sleeps early.

"Hi Mama, I'm just thinking," I said with a small smile etched on my lips.

"What is it, child?" She sits down next to me and takes some of my hair so she can caress it. It's one simple action of hers that I love.

And soon, I was leaning unto her.

"Just you know, family dramas. I feel like we're in some kind of a movie," I joked but then silence enveloped us.

Sometimes I do feel like I'm just in a movie, where my Father is a rich and successful businessman with lots of baby momma's.

God, how playboy my father is.

"I get you, but you know I've been used to this ever since I accepted your Patri's proposal," She says, laughing and then I see her eyes twinkle with a few aging lines appearing now.

"Why did you accept Patri knowing his background?" I ask.

I remember meeting her for the first time as a child. Mama was only a simple baker in Italy and is very beautiful with lots of suitors because I see men give her flowers.

Then before we knew it, we learned that Gheniese the Baker was going to be our Mama soon. Well particularly, only me and Ametrine. Lian cried, she thought someone would be taking away her Mama Carmella.

Whilst Opal was still too little to understand things.

And then poof, we're on our way back to Greece because yiayia is dying and for father's business. Along with our three youngest siblings, Gold, Jade and Nite.

"Love can be so many things, and acceptance is one of them. Do you know, I didn't want to be labeled as your Patri's second wife. I was astonished that he wanted to marry me, I don't want to be in the spotlight and certainly I didn't like that he had dozens of women carrying his children. But then I thought, my heart beats for this stubborn and foolishly handsome man. Why would I deny myself a happy future? So, a few sermons from my own Papa and Mama, we finally got married," She says, looking above the sky with twinkling eyes as if reminiscing the moments.

I didn't answer, I just let it all in and soaked my mind.

I would want that too, and the person that comes into my mind is my boyfriend now, Lucifer Miller.

Thinking of him suddenly made me miss him so much.

"Blue, can we talk?"

The moment between me and Mama was gone when I heard Ametrine's voice behind me.

"I'll leave you both to talk," Mama whispers at me and kisses my forehead before standing up.

Removing my feet from the water, I turn to see Mama saying a few things to Ametrine before kissing her forehead and leaving.

"What?" I ask.

I felt a little awkward, I don't know what to do.

"I'm sorry for shouting at you earlier, it was wrong," She says, apologizing and taking a few steps towards me.

"Yeah right, you better not shout at me again," I playfully warned before engulfing her in a big and tight hug.

This time, she let herself relax and I could feel her running her hands through my hair.

"You'll know soon enough why I stop you from reading yiayia's journals."