RISING FROM THE ASHES

Bold Step

It's 3 weeks already since my arrival to Italy and I've quite settled in, handling two hotel cleaning jobs to provide my basic amenities as I ponder on what to do with the money Mrs Geraldine Laurent my ex husband's mom gave me to leave his son .

So tired from the worst of it, I get myself something quick to eat and shower , finally crash on my cushion to watch some movies before I sleep. I chatted briefly with my bestie to know how she's doing over there in Chicago, I miss her so much.

Oh I have a piece of chocolate remaining I say to myself as I stand up to open my bedside drawer to get the chocolate,as I ruffled my hands inside I stumbled at the pamphlet given to me by Benjamin on my flight here to Italy I carried it up to thoroughly go through it and understand what it's all about,

Oh Emily you haven't even read it up ,I laughed at my silly self . As I sit down and start munching on my chocolate and flip the pamphlets then I realise there's a day remaining for the mining process to end .

Oh s**t what do I do ?, I said loudly.

What if I invest on this and it doesn't work out and I lose everything,working as a cleaner here in two different hotels is so stressful and draining.

I have a long way to go , I don't just want to earn peanuts ,I have a dream to chase .

I checked the pamphlet again and I noticed Benjamin dropped his contact there too .

My heart is racing , my mind is beating so fast , as I think 300 thoughts at once trying to decide

Alright Emily pick yourself up and register now I say to myself bracing myself up . I brought my laptop out immediately my hands trembling as I connect my WiFi and log in on my chrome following the instructions on the pamphlet I successfully registered on the mining site as I receive welcome to BJX mining, filled with fear and uncertainty I scanned through the different mining packages now it's time to make the final decision.

I checked my private account balance where I deposited the settlement out of the 43 thousand dollars due to traveling expenses , house rents and other miscellaneous things I have taken care of already. I have 39 thousand dollars currently, what do I do now or how much should I stake right now please my dear guardian angel lead me to safety,may my decisions be worthwhile i say as i invested on the mining site with a whopping sum of 30 thousand dollars and i input my details to confirm the stake .

As soon as I finished the staking I shut my laptop immediately asking myself what just happened if it's worth it .

Now I'm only left with 9 thousand dollars savings I have to work harder than ever I say as I go to sleep, just as I hopped on my bed I got a notification, who knows me except my bestie I've ensured I avoid everyone from my ugly past.

I dragged my phone closer to me and read the email, hey Emily it's Benjamin congrats for taking the bold step.

How ,when,what wait a minute how did he get my email these questions race through my head as my fear rekindled knowing I've put in huge amount of money in something I have no idea of.

The night was so lengthy, had me tossing around each corner of the bed. These few weeks, which turned to months I've been here in Italy, have been a rollercoaster filled with emotions and hard work, resilience and determination to let go of my past.

My thoughts drifted so far away from my being as I think back on many way I might have offended Sebastian that made him go treat me this ruthless way.

“ All I had for you was a love so pure, unheard of beatings and echoes of my heart, my love for you was consistent, with a level of intensity unmeasured.”

I kept my hopes aloft thinking that one day you'll be fully mine, my unheard prayers and tears to make you love me wholly”.

“Was all my loyalty my mistake? I guess loving you without expecting and hoping for change without receiving was all my fault?”

You were my rock, my all in all , my first yet all I was to you was a pawn ,a shadow forever hidden .

“You crushed my heart which can never be mended , now I walk away with the scents of my love you'll never know existed.”

“My heart aches so much, I want to stop thinking about you but I will never give you the gold you lost .”

All these thoughts enveloped me as I couldn't help but ask myself these questions, the cold chilly early morning breeze brushed my skin from my window blinds as I struggled to open my eyes and break myself from the tangles of the past and my phone beeps finally breaking my eyes open .

It's 4am and I stand up stretching and yawning, getting myself ready for the day as I first said my prayers and taking a glass of water which is my morning routine.