New Beginnings

CHAPTER 3

CHAPTER 3

Alex fiddled with the handle of her coffee mug, unsure of whether she ought to prompt his reasons for wanting to meet them or not and even Jack was subdued from his earlier high spirits. Blake looked good. Okay, he looked sensational just as she imagined he would. The athletic body of the young man had given way to a well-toned, muscular male. The white polo shirt clung to wide shoulders and for the briefest of moments she entertained the notion of how it might feel wrapped against the hard plane of his chest. Dark stubble marked his angular jaw.

“Mum?”

“Sorry, I was miles away,” she replied, a warm heat filling her cheeks.

“No problem,” came Blake’s smooth response, “I thought I should put us out of our collective apprehension, or perhaps I’m feeling apprehensive enough for the three of us?”

Alex’s heart contracted while her mind recognised her heart remained tangled with Blake Winchester’s.

“Anyway,” Blake continued, “I need to say this because it’s long overdue. I’m sorry. Those words are so useless and yes, I needed to say them but, more importantly I want to show you.”

“Show us?”

“Yes. I allowed myself to be lied to and coerced into taking a position which, at the time, I knew was wrong on so many levels.” His voice broke and he reached for his coffee, “I was a coward because a man with a spine would not have allowed any of that to happen. That my father could hold my future so callously in his hands shows just how pathetic how I was.”

Alex watched him make eye contact with Jack,

“Your Uncle Jack and your mother were my best friends. I loved them, only I’m sure there were many people who might have told you that had I loved Alex as much as I claimed, I would never had abandoned you.”

Jack cleared his throat, “To be honest, Blake, mum has never said that, in fact nobody has said that to me – well not from the Porter side of the fence anyway.”

Blake smiled, “I hope you know how lucky you are to have your grandparents in your life. They were good to me and I not only abandoned you, but I abandoned them and everything they had done for me.”

Alex wanted to believe Blake was sincere but there were trust issues she needed to deal with.

“Is this a pitch for something, Blake?” Alex asked.

“A pitch?” he shook his head slowly, a half smile on his lips, “Not exactly, although I daresay it might sound like a pitch for forgiveness, to forget, to move forward and I guess you might be right in describing it as a pitch.”

Alex swallowed the last of her coffee, more to tamp down the brief flash of anger threatening to fracture the semblance of calm surrounding the three of them.

“So you’re suggesting what, exactly?”

“Well, I wondered if you and Jack would be open to the idea of Jack spending time with me.”

“Time with you? After fifteen years you now want to spend time with him?” Okay, so now the pissed off genie was out of the bottle.

“Mum,” Jack leaned across the table, his hand on her arm, “It’s okay. Can I ask you a something Blake?”

“Go ahead, Jack.”

“Right. Well, did you wonder why I came to see you a few days ago?”

“Of course I did. I was surprised, I think that was obvious. I couldn’t just assume you were interested in reaching out to me.”

“So how come you didn’t reach out at all. See, here’s the thing, you’ve always known I existed, you know where my grandparents live and I’m kind of confused why you waited until now. Why you waited until I came to see you?”

Alex watched Blake struggling to find the words needed to answer Jack’s questions and found herself thinking that perhaps she ought to remain silent and let Jack run the show.

“Can we go back six years?” Blake asked at length.

“Do we have to. It was kind of scary for a ten-year-old kid to witness that.”

“I get that, Jack and you have no idea how stupid I felt when I got home. Like I said before, I’m a coward because a brave man, a man wanting to be a part of his son’s life would have turned the car around and gone back to you.”

“But you didn’t.” Jack’s tone was flat, the disappointment of that day clearly still in his mind.

“No. I went to my parents; told them I was moving to New York and within the week I was starting a new business venture. I worked sixty or seventy hours a week. I drove myself so hard that I burned out. I had to see a psychologist and not just for one visit, there were many visits over twelve months.”

“You saw a shrink?”

“I did and what I saw in those sessions was a man I didn’t like very much. The one question that kept coming up in those sessions was about you and your mother and how my behaviour impacted on you.”

Alex placed her mug on the tray along with the plunger and Blake handed her his.

“I’ll get rid of these and start lunch. It’s nothing grand, just some quiche and salad.”

“Don’t forget the bread rolls I cycled miles to get.”

Getting to her feet, Alex ran her hand through Jack’s thick curls and dropped a kiss on his head,

“Have I mentioned that I’m so lucky to have you in my life?”

“Once or twice.”

In the sanctuary of the kitchen Alex could hear the low hum of conversation from the direction of the deck. She placed the tray on the bench and plonked herself onto a bar stool and massaged her temples where a headache was brewing. She wanted to rage at Blake, tell him how much she – no, she reminded herself, she did not hate him because, as she had already told him, that would indicate having feelings for him. But that was just it, there were feelings that ran deep. One sweep of his gaze over her still made think she might melt and that alone should be a reminder of the need to firewall her heart so he couldn’t shred the heart she had worked so hard to rebuild. Taking a deep breath, she considered Blake’s suggestion that he and Jack spend time together and, on the surface, it wasn’t an unreasonable idea if Jack was interested. But there would have to be rules such as absolutely no contact from Blake’s parents because as far as Alex was concerned, they blew their chance to have Jack in their lives a long time ago.

Getting to her feet, she turned on the oven and returned the quiche to warm together with the bread rolls. From the fridge she removed the salad and quickly mixed a simple dressing. All the salad greens, carrots and tomatoes were from her vegetable garden and she would have made the bread rolls if Marron hadn’t talked her down earlier in the morning. She rinsed out the coffee mugs and put them in the dishwasher, all mundane tasks but their simplicity kept her calm. Her thoughts moved to Blake’s confession of needing to see a counsellor and she was forced to admit that it took courage to bring to light the changes to his life.

“Hey, Mum do you need a hand?” Jack placed his glass in the sink, “Everything okay?”

“I’m good. What about you?”                                                   

“He’s okay, you know. Well, I guess he has to be seeing as he’s on our turf.”

“I guess. Here,” she handed him the salad bowl, “Grab some cutlery and plates.”

“Got it. Shall I offer him a beer or something?”

Alex hesitated because Blake had never been a big beer drinker but maybe that had changed, “Sure, why not but that does not include you.”

“Sheesh, mum. It’s going to happen one day.”

“Yes, one day when it’s legal for you.”

Jack pulled open the cutlery drawer, mumbling to himself as he did so and Alex gave a soft laugh,

“I love you Jack.”

He looked up, “I love you too, you know that, right?”

“I do but it doesn’t mean I don’t need to hear the words from you every now and then.”

“Sure,” he paused, “I know you have my back.”

Alex punched him playfully on the arm, “That I do. Now, take those things out before he thinks we’ve run off and left him here alone.”

She watched him retreat toward the deck and turned, bracing herself on the bench. She was going to have to take a giant leap of faith in a man who let her down when she needed him the most. The oven beeped to let her know it was done and, strengthening her resolve to remain calm she placed the bread rolls in a basket and pulled the quiche from the oven.

Blake watched Alex carry a basket of bread and the quiche to the table and his stomach rumbled reminding him that breakfast had been a long time ago.

“I asked Blake if he wanted a beer, but he said he would have what you’re having.”

“I have wine,” she offered, “Do you remember Marron Huxley?”

“Yeah, you two were like twins joined at the hip. You both gave Jack and I such a hard time all summer.”

“Well yes, there was that. Anyway, what you might not know is that Marron is one of New Zealand’s most internationally acclaimed fashion designers. She married an American, Xavier Weston and they established a winery here.”

“Wow. I wasn’t expecting that. I always thought she had a crush on Jack.”

“She did. When we were about fifteen or so we planned our double wedding, she, and Jack, you, and me. Then we named all the babies we were going to have.”

“Babies as in more than one?”

“Oh yes, at least four. As it is, we’ve both just had the one, she has a son, Lucas who’s the same age at Jack.”

“He’s my best friend, we play in the same cricket and rugby teams, same class at school,” Jack added.

“I’ll get the wine, it’s from the winery, St Lucia, which, if you go to the end of the garden and look left you will see the vines in the distance.”

When she returned indoors, Jack helped himself to the salad and quiche, “I don’t know about you but I’m fricking starving.”

Blake laughed, it seemed Jack was perpetually hungry and brought back happy memories of Dianne Porter chasing he and Jack out of the kitchen on many occasions.

“Your uncle Jack and I were always hungry too. I think teenage boys are growing all the time.”

“Help yourself,” Jack said, pushing the quiche and salad in his direction.

“I should wait until your mother returns.”

“Wait no more, here she is.”

Blake turned to see Alex approach with an opened bottle of wine, two glasses and a can of cola for Jack.

“Cool,” he said taking it from her, “Can I drink from the can or…”

“That rule only applies when you’re out, Jack.” Alex sat down and half-filled a glass with wine for Blake, “I hope white is okay?”

“Perfectly.” He took a sip and was surprised with the hit of flavour, “Nice.”

Alex raised her glass before lifting it to her lips a hypnotic action that had Blake mesmerised and to break the spell she was slowly casting, he turned his attention to food, noting that Jack had almost finished his plateful. Eating home cooked food was the best he decided or perhaps it was because since returning from New York most of his meals had been delivered, his shiny kitchen had only seen minimal action and he was sure the nosey old woman from across the street was keeping tabs on the amount of home delivered food he was receiving.

“So, tell us about your new venture, Blake.”

His new venture? “Sure, well it’s a big departure from what I had been doing.”

“Which was?”

“I started a tech company, expanded into game development and worked with some incredibly gifted people.”

“Wow, games?” Jack asked, his interest clearly roused.

“Yeah, and while it sounds exciting, as I said earlier, I was working insane hours and finally crashed and burned.”

“What sort of games?” Jack asked.

“Alien Strike, Cyberforce Ninja. They were the best sellers by a longshot.”

“Seriously? I love Alien Strike, Lucas and I play it all the time and I’m hoping to get the newest version for my birthday,” Jack looked at his mother, “Hint, hint.”

Alex laughed and Blake liked the sound, “I think you might have mentioned it a couple of times.”

“Just saying.”

The more Blake interacted with Jack the more he felt the pull, drawing him in, the boy was a magnet, his outgoing personality, sense of humour and above all the obvious love and respect for his mother. Jack stood on the edge of adulthood and he had no doubt Jack the teenager would step into Jack the man with ease. None of it was down to him, no positive input from a father; Jack was his mother’s son and he questioned where he might fit in this family.

“Blake?” Alex’s voice broke into his thoughts as he fought to keep the tide of regret threatening to drown him.

“I was – nothing. The wine is fantastic, and your quiche is great.”

“So great you’ve only had a mouthful.”

“You’ve been watching me?”

“Well, when you went all distant and serious, it was hard to ignore.”

“Sorry, it was just a thought bouncing around in my head.”

Jack helped himself to more quiche and salad and his own empty stomach urged him to eat before there was nothing left.

“Are you serious about spending time with Jack?” she asked him.

“Absolutely, but it has to be okay with both you and Jack.”

When he looked across at Jack, the boy was grinning from ear to ear.

Alex put her knife and fork down and he sensed a “but” coming,

“I do have one rule and that is, no contact and I mean no contact with your parents. I don’t want them anywhere near him. Can you do that?”

He could do it. What sort of people don’t mention to you that you’re not their biological child until a relative casually drops it into the conversation? It didn’t surprise him because at no point in his life had he he clicked with them. He sensed their reluctance to show even the smallest degree of affection because what they wanted was a child genius who would step into his father’s shoes, the successful Winchester Corporation and they would bask in the glory of their creation.

“That won’t be likely, Alex. I have little do with them, we went our separate ways a long time ago.”

“Jack? Is this okay with you? Is it what you want?” Alex asked.

“Yeah. I can hang out, although cricket finals and my birthday are coming up, so you’ll have to work around those.”

A sense of disappointment filled him because for a moment he wanted Jack to ask him to be involved.

“No problem. We can sort something out once that is out of the way.,”

Jack shook his head, “No, what I meant was, are you up to coming to the cricket final and my birthday.”

Blake’s throat tightened so hard that when he tried to speak his voice broke,

“I’d be honoured, Jack.”

“Cool. And remember, the only Winchester I want to see is you, not your weird parents.”

A sense of relief washed over him, “Duly noted, Jack.” Blake shifted his gaze to Alex, finding a nervous smile playing along the edges of her full lips, sending a warm heat across his chest.

“You never told us about your new project,” she murmured.

His eyes were still anchored on her and it took him a few moments to gather his thoughts,

“Sorry, we got side-tracked. The new project concerns Motutawa.”

“Motutawa Island?” she asked, surprise etched on her face.

“Yeah, apparently the island has been for sale for quite a while.”

“Almost ten years. They even tried finding an overseas buyer but that met with a backlash from half the country.”

Blake understood that. New Zealand worked hard to keep their clean and green image and there was a perception that too much of the country had already been bought up by overseas investors whose last thought was keeping with the clean and green ideal.

“I’ve only made an enquiry at this stage, nothing too serious. I’d have to see what sort of work would be needed to turn it into an eco-tourism business.”

Alex shook her head, “The place is a mess, too many years with no maintenance. We sailed over there with dad about six months ago and it was just so sad to see it like that.”

“I guessed as much. I’m not in any hurry.” Blake glanced at his watch. He didn’t want to overstay Alex’s hospitality, conscious of the uneasy truce between them. Offending her in her own home was not something he would do.

“Are you in a rush?” she asked.

“What? No, I just – well I don’t want to overstay my welcome. I’m fully aware of how awkward this is for you.”

“Are you finding it awkward?” she countered.

“Not at all but I don’t want to push my luck.”

“I’ll make a fresh pot of coffee,” she turned to Jack, “Coffee for you or a cold drink?”

“Another cola?”

“Okay.”

Blake got to his feet, began helping her collect the plates and cutlery from the table, placing them onto the tray before lifting it off the table.

“You can leave it and bring it in later,” she murmured.

He watched Alex sashay inside, the gentle sway of her hips driving him slightly insane. Clearing his throat, he said,

“You better give me the dates of your cricket final,” he said to Jack.

“It’s next weekend at the Devonport Reserve, which is close to where you live.”

“You play for a North Shore team?”

“Yeah. Lucas and I usually stay with the Grandies but I guess seeing as you’re just around the corner we could stay with you.”

Blake shook his head, “I don’t want to step on any toes, Jack. I’d enjoy having you guys stay but I think it’s best if keep the arrangements you have with your grandparents.”

“Sure. You’re right, I don’t want to upset them. Granddad looks forward to coming to the games.”

“And your birthday?”

A frown creased Jack’s brow, “You don’t remember the date?”

“I know the date, I wanted to know if you were doing anything on the day.”

“Wow! I wasn’t expecting you to remember the date. Yeah, we’re having a family get together here next Sunday, Lucas and his parents, Grandma and Granddad plus a couple of friends from school.”

“And you’re sure you want me to come?”

“You’re having second thoughts?”

“No, nothing like that. I just need to be sure that it’s all good with your mother and with you.”

“All good about what?”

Alex stepped onto the deck carrying another tray with coffee, cake, and mugs.

“About my birthday and the cricket final,” Jack replied.

“I wanted to be sure you were okay with me being involved,” he explained.

“Oh, well, yes of course.”

“Sweet!” An explosion of warmth filled Blake’s chest at the sight of Jack’s smile and for a moment it cancelled out the hint of uncertainty he caught in Alex’s voice. Getting their friendship back was going to take some amount of work. He sipped at the coffee she had passed to him and helped himself to a piece of cake.

“Wow! That’s something else,” he said.

“Can’t take the credit unfortunately, Mum made it,” Alex replied.

“She’s still a wiz in the kitchen then?”

“Oh yes, although she and Dad have the travel bug, so the kitchen isn’t quite as busy as it once was.”

“Where are they just now?”

“You know they’re away?”

“Yeah. I wanted to let them know I was living a few doors down but before I even got near the house some old girl bailed me up wanting to know why I was there.”

Jack laughed and Alex grimaced, “Sounds like Mrs Compton,” she said, “Auckland’s nosiest neighbour.”

“I’m guessing she’s keeping a tally of all the food I have delivered.”

“You’re not cooking?”

Blake shook his head, “Hardly seems worth it,” he looked across at Jack, “But if Jack comes to visit, I’ll certainly cook a meal for him.”

When his gaze connected with hers, her mouth had formed into a warm smile, “Will I also be invited?” she asked.

Blake stopped chewing. Was she being sincere or simply yanking his chain? When he managed to remember how to speak, he slowly nodded and, as his voice broke, all he could say was “Yes.”