Wolfsbane

Wolfsbane, Chapter 3 By Ruth Nalio

Autumn…

Following that surprising chuckle was something I also hadn’t been prepared for.

“You know that woman drove me crazy. I was always on my toes wondering what she would pull next. You are so like her. You look and act just like her so often that it breaks my heart that she couldn’t be here to see you now.”

“Father,” I struggled for the words to comfort him, “you know she’s with us in our memory and in spirit.”

“I know, but sometimes I wish she could be here in body too so that I could hear her and feel her hand in mine the way it used to be. You know, sometimes she would get so mad at me that she would lock me out of the bedroom. She was always looking for a way to get what she had her mind set on, just like you.”

“You know talking about her only makes it worse, that’s why we talk so little about it. I also wish she had been here all these years, but there’s nothing we can do to change the way things happen.”

“You’re a lot like me too.” He’d turned sad, understanding eyes to me then. “And I don’t mean that in the ways you think. Your mother always knew what she wanted and went for it, but you, you’re like me in that you don’t always want to see what’s in front of you. Trystan is a handsome young man, and he would make you very happy, you just don’t want to see it.”

No! When had he become the one working angles? He was playing dirty! Using Mother to get this all started!

“I know that you must like him on some level to have been laughing with him the way you were and talking so openly with him. You just have to see it.”

“You’re wrong. He started that conversation. I would have been happier telling him what an overbearing, pompous, know-it-all, male-dominating, frustration he is.”

“Aut, you only want to see that side of him because you don’t want to see the parts you like. You’re afraid that if you let anyone close, they’ll leave you.”

“I have plenty of friends.” I countered.

“No, you have the young ladies that gossip about things they have no business sticking their noses in. You know as well as I do that they aren’t as good of friends as they play at, not even to each other. They would sell you for a good piece of gossip just as quickly as the baker would sell a loaf of bread for a shiny gold coin.”

I had no argument for that but I couldn’t let him win, “I don’t tell them anything that they could use against me, or anyone else for that matter. I just listen to what they have to say. Not to mention old Ned and I are close.”

“Old Ned and you are only close because he was the only person I knew could help me raise you properly.”

“That doesn’t change that I let him close to me.”

“That’s because he helped raise you since you were seven when I couldn’t be there for you. Another reason you and Trystan are so good for each other is because he knows what it’s like to not have a mother. His mother died when he was only a year older than you were when we lost yours. Although I don’t know what she died from, I do know neither of you grew up with the gentleness of a mother, but rather with the roughness of a father and the distant kindness of servants.”

“It’s hardly the same thing. A boy being raised by a man is a lot different than a girl being raised by a man. Don’t mothers turn their boys over to their fathers to be taught while daughters stay with their mothers learning how to sew?”

“Even boys need mothering. Men are not the best example of propriety and manners, and most don’t see the need to teach their sons until they’ve already taught them the roughness of being a man.”

“You mean like chasing women and fighting? I’m not as clueless as you think, Father.”

I watched as he sighed and rubbed between his eyes as he often did when I was so blunt with him. “I realize that you know more about the way men act than a lady should, and I’m not trying to tell you anything about that now. I’m trying to tell you that you should give Trystan a chance.”

“Father, neither of us wants this betrothal. The only thing we have in common is the simple fact that we can’t stand each other. I don’t see how you and his father can think that we will ever feel differently.” Just as I said this, the coach came to a stop and I jumped out and rushed inside before he could say anymore. I would talk him out of this in the morning, but tonight I wanted a chance to come up with my strategy. I wanted to be prepared for anything he was going to throw at me, even another ‘you’re just like your mother’ speech.

I rushed up the steps and into my room. Once the door closed behind me I leaned against it and closed my eyes and let out a sigh. The safety of my room would only last till morning. Father would not let me hide here for long. He would eventually send in a maid to drag me out, saying I needed to eat. Until then I had time to think.

Trystan…

Seeing how miserably I had failed, I could only hope that Autumn had been doing a better job at persuading her father to call this off than me. Plus, I had more important things to worry about than persuading my father to see the truth. If I could just concentrate! I only had one day left before I had to go on my business trip. Autumn would be safely preparing for the silly ball.

All I had to do was head in the opposite direction and she would be in no danger. Nor would anyone else for that matter; most of the town would be off at that silly ball. All but me and whoever the mystery wolf was. If I could just get rid of him or chase him off before he hurt anyone else I could sleep easier at night. He was the only reason I looked forward to the change and I had no right looking forward to such a thing.

“Goddamn it!” I had to concentrate! I’d tried nearly every herb I knew of. I needed to find out what I was missing. But how? Damn it! If I only knew more about plants! Like it was a man's job to know anything without becoming a doctor!

Maybe if I had known that I might someday turn into a werewolf I would have made an effort to study herbs and remedies. I hated being like this! I hated not knowing if I was going to be the next to hurt someone! I hated not being able to concentrate! I needed to find a way to do this, a way to figure things out.

I wondered if anyone else had ever tried to cure themselves. Hell, I wondered if anyone had found a way to cure themselves and was just too afraid to tell anyone. If I found a way, would I tell anyone? If I did tell anyone, would they believe that I was truly cured?

GRR! “I give up! I can’t take this anymore! I can’t concentrate, so how the hell am I going to solve any of my problems?”

“By giving yourself a chance to cool down, I’d say. Your door was cracked, so I decided to see how you were doing. Do you think you can hold the change off any longer this time?”

“No, Father, I don’t. I’ve been doing nothing but going over my notes again and again all day. I can’t even focus long enough to try something new.”

“May I ask what’s distracting you? I may be able to help.”

“Truthfully, there is nothing anyone can do to help me at the moment.”

“Then I’ll leave you to fight yourself for concentration.”

“Father, I’m worried about myself.”

“Why? Is something wrong? Are you okay? Do you think the change is going to happen sooner than usual?” His voice was laced with concern.

“No, not that. It’s just that, I’m starting to look forward to the changes, but only because of the other wolf. I look forward to fighting with him.”

“Son, there’s nothing wrong with that. You just want to make it safe for other people.”

“I think there's more to it than that. I look forward to the fight in general.” I admitted.

I watched as he smiled and shook his head. “You are a man. Men often like to fight and show their muscles. That's the one thing we have in common with animals, and always will. We like to be the strongest, to intimidate others. Some men even like it so much that they intimidate women with their superiority. Not that it’s a good thing to intimidate women, it's just how things are.”

“I know that it’s just that I’ve never looked forward to it before. I don’t like wanting the change.”

“It doesn’t matter, you will find a cure. For now, you should eat. It’s noon and you haven’t had a bite since last night’s dinner.”

By the time I reached the table, I knew father hadn't just wanted me to eat. He had been silent all the way down and now he looked at me with that grin on his face that said he was either up to something or knew something. I suppressed my urge to ask and waited for him to share. He could never stay silent for long.

“So, you are sure there was nothing else keeping you from focusing? Are you sure you weren’t thinking about anyone else in particular?”

Damn, this again? With a heavy sigh, I looked at my father, “The only time Autumn crossed my mind was when I was thinking of how to get out of this mess you and Mason have gotten us in.”

“If you were to give it some more thought I’m sure you would see that it’s not as big a mess as you think.”

“Neither of us even like the other. How do you expect us to get past that?”

“You must think she is lovely. I find her to be a beautiful young woman.”

“There are plenty of beautiful young women.”

“Yes, but none with that kind of spirit. You must admire that about her.”

“Yes, I love the way the woman is all too eager to bite my head off,” I replied with sarcasm.

“You do love to fight with her.” He agreed.

“It’s the only way I can stand to be in the same room with her.”

“It’s a start at least.”

“I do believe you’re losing your wits.”

“If you think I’m losing my wits because I see it as a start then you have a lot to learn about women.”

“This one woman I don’t care to chase after, and one that I strongly feel doesn’t want to be chased.”

“You know that ball she’s going to will have plenty of young men there willing to dance with a beautiful woman.”

“I hope one of them catches her eye while I’m a werewolf.”

“That would make the chase all the more fun.”

“You have an odd view of fun.” My father was relentless.

“Snatching a woman right out from under another man’s nose is very fun. That’s how I got your mother you know. She was flirting with this other man at a gathering of some sort when I walked up and asked her to dance. I told her I didn’t want to be the fool who didn’t even get to dance with the prettiest lady.”

“As fascinating as that is, I don’t think I care to have the same story as my father.”

“You won't, you’ll have the story of how you couldn’t stand each other then woke up one day and realized you couldn’t live without her.” My father, ever the romantic.

“Just what makes you think that it’s going to happen that way?”

My father broke out in a full-toothed grin then, “Because I’m never wrong.”

“I think you just slipped up on this one.”

“We’ll see.”

Autumn…

Just as I’d thought, Father sent a maid to bring me from my room. Oh well, it was going to happen sooner or later. I was just going to have to work with what I had. I’d wait to pull out the big stuff though. I hated hanging that secret over his head.

I brushed my hair and pinned it back from my face in the most delicate, innocent way I could. I would work every angle I could, even the sweet and innocent. Somehow I doubted that Father would fall for it though. Anything was worth a try at this point.

“Nice to see you out of bed, Autumn.”

“Sorry Daddy, I was up late again.” When he raised an eyebrow I realized the daddy thing might have been too much, but I was going to run with it. “I guess I still haven’t grown out of staying up all night looking out my window. There’s just so much out there that I want to see and do and haven’t had a chance yet.”

“What are you getting at, Autumn?”

“Well, I was thinking, you know how we go hunting together and stuff? I’m just afraid we won’t be able to do that anymore once I’m married.”

“Autumn,” It was a warning, but I kept going anyway.

“You know, with all the things that a wife is supposed to do and everything, I won’t have time to be your little girl anymore.”

“Autumn, you’ll be my little girl forever, whether we spend time with each other or not.”

Damn! “But, Daddy, I don’t think I’m ready to be someone’s wife. I’ve barely started being a young lady.”

“You will be a wonderful wife, and I’m sure Trystan will be more than happy to allow you to be a young lady.” Instead of looking angry as I had expected, he looked amused! Time to try something else.

“We don’t like each other, are you really going to send me into a marriage like that? What if we never like each other?”

“I have the feeling that you will come to love each other dearly if you just give one another the chance.”

“But what if he’s mean to me?”

“I don’t see him being mean to you, or any other woman for that matter.”

“What if he’s not faithful? I couldn't take it if he wasn’t a good husband.” I pressed forward.

“Then perhaps you should stop trying to introduce him to your friends.”

“If we do get married then he will eventually meet my friends.”

“Then I suggest that you keep him satisfied to keep his head from turning.”

What? Girl! I took a deep calming breath, “What if he isn’t able to be satisfied?”

“Every man can be satisfied. Keep his stomach full, his house clan, and his bed warm. Not that it will matter once he has fallen in love with you. You are very lovable, you know.” His warm smile did nothing to soothe me.

“What if he’s not the loving kind?”

“You have plenty of fire in you to melt the coldest of hearts.”

He was playing with me! “You’re going to have an answer to every question and worry I tell you, aren’t you?”

He winked, “This isn’t the first time you’ve tried talking me into giving you your way.”

“What if he doesn't let me go out? What if I can’t ever tell him the family secret? You can’t do it any longer. That leaves me to take care of the responsibilities. What if I tell him and he won’t let me do what I must?”

“Who is to say I want you doing it any longer? And besides, I am perfectly capable of doing what must be done.”

“Father,” I begged, I didn’t know what else to do. “Don’t make me marry him!”

“Autumn, his father, and I have an agreement. I can’t just go back on it.”

“But neither of us wants this! Can’t the two of you see? Can’t you just pretend none of this is happening?”

“Autumn, there is nothing you can say to change my mind.”

I had nothing left so I said the only thing I could, “What if I’m already in love?”

The frozen shock on his face told me I might have found something to change his mind. He wouldn’t make me get married if he thought I was in love with someone else, even if I wasn’t. Then I saw it, the look that told me he wasn’t buying it, or at least not in theory.

“Autumn, just who are you in love with? Or should I say, what, are you in love with? Are you in love with the freedom you have now? Because that is not going to change my mind, and don’t even try telling me you’re in love with some young man, because you don’t even know anyone outside of this household that is near your age. You told me yourself that you find the young men here repulsive in their behavior too often to even wish to talk to any of them.”

Damn, and double damn! “Father, you can’t expect me or Brian to go about this marriage happily or even quietly.”

“I wasn’t expecting you to. You hardly know each other, that’s why you have a few months before the wedding.” He sighed as he looked at me and noticed I wasn’t budging. “You don’t understand, Autumn, you are too headstrong and outspoken for this world. Trystan is the best match I could hope to make for you and you for him.”

“Why me for him? What is that supposed to mean?”

“There are still those in this dimension who look down on the ones who came from the other world because they were slaves. No matter that in that world every human was a slave, the only free ones were the Elves or the Dragons. His mother was the first generation born outside of Lufkin, and most of the families here see him as an ill fit for their daughters. And as for you, the other families would seek to break your spirit if they even decided to accept you.”

“Are you sure it’s not just because you aren’t sure when to marry me off? I know I’ve never been easy to raise by yourself, but I didn’t think you really wanted to get rid of me so badly you’d force me into a marriage that not even my groom-to-be wants.” With that, I rushed from the room without even hearing what he had to say. I rushed down the long hall, passed the servants, and out the servant’s entrance.

I ran all the way into the woods behind our manor and still didn’t stop. I dodged trees, jumped rocks, and swerved fallen branches. I couldn’t take it so I just ran. I ran until I reached the small brook down the hill, then fell to my knees. I reached back and yanked the pins out of my hair and let it fall loose down my back.

I wouldn’t be able to run like this in just a few days, but right now I could. The full moon was still far enough away that I had nothing to worry about until tomorrow night at the earliest. Everyone knew about the werewolf, but not everyone believed it was a werewolf. Some said it was just a wolf, but anyone with any brains at all knew a wolf couldn’t do that kind of damage. The people of this town didn’t want to admit that after 30 years of safety, we had another werewolf on our hands.

Damn this dress! I wish I had pants on, but my father wouldn’t let me wear them unless I was hunting or riding. Once I get married I can kiss my pants goodbye in this prudish town. Damn this engagement! I needed to shoot something!