Chapter 26: Scared
2154 Words
Linda
Romulus opened the passenger side door for me and I climbed in, I was shaking so bad I couldn’t get my seat belt on.
Romulus looked over at me for a moment, and then he leaned across and pulled my seatbelt on for me.
He didn’t start the engine right away, and he asked, “did you help Jax t.orture?”
I shook my head no, and he asked, “what did he do that ended up with you covered in blood all down your back and hair?”
“He wanted foreplay while he...while he...” I couldn’t finish the sentence, and he pulled a face, “hes f.ucking sick in the head, I don’t know how that s.hit gets him off, you can always say no if you don’t like something, he’s a f.ucking psycho, but he would never hurt you or make you do something you don’t want, don’t be afraid to say no to him.”
“He’s scary like that, and you’re all werewolves and I find it hard to say no to people,” I whispered.
“That’s why you have to be even more firm with us, we are dominant, we are alpha wolves, and it’s really important, especially for you as a human, to tell us if you don’t like something, it’s too easy for us to take control, to lose ourselves to the wolf and just do what we want, that’s why we always ask Rose if she’s ok when we’re intimate with her, we all communicate what we are comfortable with and what we aren’t, when Jax is like that he needs to be told firmly, harshly even because he loses his s.hit sometimes to the point he has to be locked in the cage.”
“A cage?” I asked horrified.
“There’s a lot you still don’t know, yeah, we have cages for werewolves who need help controlling themselves, usually with their first change, Jax is usually the one who needs to be locked up more than anyone else,” he rolled his eyes and started the engine.
He didn’t speak again until we got to the pack house, he parked up and looked at me, “I don’t know what Jax and Rose have planned for you, I don’t know how long you’re staying for, but you’re around werewolves now, supernaturals, you’re more vulnerable as a human, please make sure you are firm if Jax has decided to date you, you’re around dangerous dominant and violent men, you can’t afford to be too submissive or a people pleaser, not here, not if you want to survive.”
“Thank you,” I whispered.
He gave a nod and climbed out of the car and came around to my side and opened the door for me. “Let’s get you cleaned up,” he said.
He took me inside, and I hid my face when everyone stared, ignoring them he led me upstairs and said, “it’s the blood they’re staring at.”
He ran me a bath and poured some bubbles in for me, I wasn’t used to such kind treatment, and I started to cry. I couldn’t stop, it was embarrassing, but I was feeling so many emotions, I was so overwhelmed I couldn’t stop my hands from flapping.
He noticed and asked, “do you have autism?”
I nodded, when I was this dysregulated I couldn’t make eye contact. He came over and gently held my hands, “it’s ok, you’re safe now, I’m sure Jax is sorry, whatever it is he made you do. Why don’t we talk about something less disturbing like, what’s your favourite book?”
We did, we talked about our favorite books and found out we had most in common, same books, same authors, mostly romance or dark romance and fantasy.
“I didn’t take you for a romance fantasy man, especially seeing as fantasy is reality for you with you being a werewolf and all,” I smiled shyly.
He laughed and said, “I was curious about how people see us, I’m pleasantly surprised to find humans enjoy the idea of us and being with us, no longer painting us as the monsters and villains, or at least not as much.” He tried to pull my top off, and I quickly folded my arms stopping him.
“Hey, don’t be shy, I’m not here to judge you, I promise, I’m just here to help.”
He wasn’t attracted to me anyway, didn’t want me, so what did it matter if he saw my disgusting body or my grotesque scars. I needed to feel looked after right now, I was so dysregulated, I was flapping my hands, but it took everything in me not to rock or hum or do any of my other stims, talking about our favorite books helped me not break down and have a full meltdown, Jax wasn’t the only one who scared me, I scared myself, I hated anything violent, I didn’t even really like violent horror movies, I was the squeamish type who would hide behind my hands, violence upset me, especially if it was towards someone who was helpless.
James and Elise were evil, I needed to see them die so I knew they wouldn’t be able to come after me or anyone else ever again, I did want to see them suffer like what they had done to me, but seeing it in reality was more difficult than I thought, I was ok though, even when Jax had s**x with me.
when we’d dated in the past we had argued so many times about him not showing me love or why he didn’t want to have s**x with me, when he said he wanted me down in that bunker it felt like all my dreams had come true, Jax knight actually wanted to take that next step and have s**x with me, he’d taken my virginity, and it had been amazing, but the rest of it, what came after, he scared me, I hadn’t truly understood what Rose meant when she said he got turned on s.exually by the violence and t.orture, the killing, I thought at most she meant he just got excited, I thought maybe that was why he wanted s**x because I just happened to be there?
But after, I learnt the real truth, he truly did get s.exually aroused by all of it, the absolute violence, the blood, their screams, the part where they died, I loved Jax, but that side of him had terrified me, it disturbed me what he’d made us do, I knew I’d have nightmares.
Romulus helped me into the bath, and I hid myself under the bubbles while he gently washed me, he even washed my hair, and then he helped me climb out, dried me and dressed me, it was the sweetest thing ever.
He hesitated at Jax’s door and turned to me, “did you want to lay in my bed until Jax gets back? I think Rose and Nick went to bed about twelve, it’s one in the morning now.”
“That’s ok, you don’t have to worry about me, you’ve already been so kind.”
“It’s fine, come on,” he walked off before I could say anything, so I followed him to his bedroom.
“You can get in the bed, and I’ll sit on the chair until you fall asleep.”
“You really don’t have to do this,” I said.
With a slight smile on his face he said, “actually I kind of do, Rose would kill me if I just left you how Jax handed you to me, Jax probably would too,” he rolled his eyes and I laughed shyly.
I was exhausted, and I fell asleep quickly, but I did faintly recall having nightmares about what me and Jax had done.
When I woke up, it was to see Jax lying next to me and looking at me.
“Jax?” I mumbled sleepily.
He stroked my hair from my face and said, “hey, how are you feeling?”
My heart began to race with fear seeing him, how was he acting so calm and normal, like nothing happened?
I sat up and climbed out of the bed, mumbling, “I’m fine, I need to find Rose.” I rushed off before he could say anything or follow me.
I knocked on her bedroom door, the bedroom she shared with Nick and Jax, I wasn’t sure where else she would be as she seemed to spend most of her nights here, but Nick opened the door and I gulped, I looked up at him, he towered over me at six feet four, all powerful muscle and broad shoulders with a look so cold I was surprised I didn’t freeze up and die right on the spot.
“What?” He asked coldly.
“Uh, um, I uh…” I couldn’t speak, I was blushing so hard and I couldn’t make eye contact, he was so hot, and pretty, and dangerous looking, it was a powerful and sexy combination, he was also the man who had saved my life, he’d literally restarted my heart and right now, it was beating like crazy for him. To say I had a crush on him would be a huge understatement.
When I saw Jax walking down the hall, I quickly said, “Rose?” It was the only form of speech I could utter right now in the face of his godly good looks.
His look never cooled and voice cold as ice, he said, “she spent the night with Fenris,” then he shut the door in my face.
“Linda!” Jax called, I smiled at him and quickly rushed off.
I knocked on Fenris’ door, and he answered almost as coldly as Nick had. “What do you want?”
God, if any more pretty Greek god men answered the door, I was going to pass out. If Nick was ruggedly handsome and pretty, then Fenris was beautiful, perhaps beautifully masculine was a better way to describe him because nothing about him was feminine in any way, I mean, of course he was beautiful and gorgeous, he was Jax’s identical twin and Jax was like some beautiful Greek god, they shared the same perfect nose, chiseled jawline, high cheekbones and Cupid bow full lips, but Fenris had hazel eyes with golden flecks running through making them look gold in the light, his hair was more straight compared to Jax’s more curly wavy hair, he had golden brown hair that was a tousled mess falling into those pretty almond shaped eyes, he was topless right now, and I couldn’t stop staring at his body, he was powerfully built and muscular, pecs, abs, Adonis belt, he had it all, they all did though Nick was built even bigger. I didn’t realize how long I had been staring until he asked, “Linda? What do you want?”
My whole face felt hot with embarrassment, and I mumbled, “Rose.”
“Can you wait an hour?”
“Why?” I cringed inside when I asked that, my autism meant I had a tendency to be too blunt and ask too many questions.
He rose an eyebrow, clearly not expecting me to ask why, and he replied, “uh, it’s pretty obvious why isn’t it?”
I looked at him confused, I wasn’t very good at understanding hints or subtle words, direct communication was best with me.
Rose slipped under Fenris’ arm that he had leaning against the door frame and she said, “Linda has autism, not as severe as Anita, but you’ll have to be more direct with her in communication, hints won’t work.”
He looked me over curiously and said, “ah, right.” Sounding more disappointed, he sighed and said to Rose, “I’m not getting any fun this morning am I?”
“I’ll make it up to you later,” she grinned.
“Aren’t you supposed to be with Jax and Nick tonight?” She cringed and said, “oh yeah, well, what about L—” he slammed a hand over her mouth before she could finish whatever she was about to say, and he said, “no, I’m not ready yet.”
“But you said—” he shoved his hand back over her mouth and said, “I know what I said, I will, but not until I’m desperate.”
She gave him a dirty look and looked like she wanted to argue, but he kissed her on the lips, spun her around and s.lapped her a.ss hard enough she yelped.
“Go, I’ll see you later, love you,” he said and shut the door on us.
- Writer
