Jax
I was in the middle of packing a bag for Anita when Rose came in sighing, she pushed me aside and said, “let me do it, you’re throwing it all in and making a mess.”
“I was doing fine.”
“Jax, look!” She held up two of Anita’s tops that were a disheveled and wrinkled mess and I shrugged, “so f.ucking what? She won’t care.”
Putting her hand to her head, she let out a breath knowing it was pointless arguing with me and continued packing.
“Dada, we go?”
I turned to see Anita standing in the doorway lightly flapping her hands.
“Yeah, mummy’s just packing, darling.”
Anita was sixteen now, it had been three years since Robert had taken her after I kicked him out for being a f.ucking p.ervert, I might have lost just a little control and violently t.ortured and killed him in front of Jared and his pack, after that, I decided I wasn’t killing anymore, clearly I was starting to lose my f.ucking s.hit.
Killing was always like second nature to me, I enjoyed it to a f.ucked up level and I had come to accept that, but the way I’d killed Robert in front of everyone, that was the first time I scared myself, so I vowed to stop, didn’t even want to risk being tempted, so I stopped being the packs’ enforcer, any violence or t.orture might tempt me back into killing, so I stopped everything and so far, I’ve been fine with it.
Today was Valentine’s Day, both Lucas and Elena had a date later tonight, Lucas was like his father Fenris, the serious and sensible type, a little more shy perhaps, but he was a good looking teen and didn’t struggle to find himself a nice girlfriend, I assumed she was nice because no one would let me meet her, don’t know why because I wasn’t worried when it came to Lucas.
The father in me worried more about our daughters, I didn’t even know Elena had a boyfriend until today, part of me wanted to demand she let me meet him first, the only reason I let it go was because Rose and my brothers would meet him.
I wanted to get away because Romulus had planned something romantic for Rose and I knew it would drive me f.ucking mad seeing them loved up, so I opted to take Anita away for the weekend and have a date night with her as father and daughter.
She was severely autistic and still mostly non-verbal some days and struggled with speech, had some developmental delays too, therefore she didn’t have a date, and it upset Rose to think Anita was missing out.
I know Rose worried that Anita might never be able to fall in love, I worried too, but I also noticed how much progress she had made, so there was still hope, maybe she could find someone with autism too, or maybe if she continued to learn and adapt she might meet someone who would accept her like Nick had accepted his true mate before he met Rose, his mate hadn’t been as severe as Anita, but he mentioned she had learnt and fought for her independence, perhaps Anita could too, or maybe she wouldn’t, it didn’t matter because we loved her and would be there for her no matter what.
I was grumbling about Romulus having Rose to himself tonight, but I’d spent valentines with her last year, so I didn’t fight too much on it. When it was time to leave I kissed her goodbye. “Love you darling,” I murmured against her lips.
“Love you too,” she smiled.
Nick coughed, and I looked over at him, “yeah, I love you too,” I rolled my eyes, but he wasn’t happy with that and grabbed me into a hug and kissed me hard on the lips. Yep, he was my mate too, but that’s a long story so you’ll have to go f.ucking find it because f***k am I telling all that again.
I didn’t drive far, only two cities away and when I parked up I grabbed the bags and looked at Anita, “come on, let’s go.”
She followed me into the hotel and quietly waited while I booked us in and paid. She was a lot better these days, she used to absolutely hate any crowded or new places, she would scream and cry, you couldn’t touch her or she’d hit you because when she was dysregulated that badly she hated being touched, over time she had slowly gotten used to new places, as long as we spoke with her about it for weeks ahead of time so she was prepared.
It was a pretty fancy hotel, big, with white marble flooring, a high ceiling, beige and gold themed walls, the lift was f.ucking fancy as s.hit too with gold patterned doors and engravings.
I led her over to the lift and growing excited she pressed the button inside, when she tried to press the others I said, “no, don’t touch them, or it won’t be able to take us to our floor.”
She frowned annoyed, but I didn’t give in, it was hard being strict with the kids, ironically I was the big f.ucking softie and Rose was the firm one. When the doors opened I stepped off the lift and turned to see Anita hovering.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
She gave me puppy dog eyes and quietly asked, “me push the buttons Dada?”
Groaning, I thought about it and said, “f***k it, go on then.”
Grinning, she pushed all the buttons until they were all lit up and when a cleaner came to use it I quickly grabbed Anita by her top and hissed, “s.hit! Come on, quick!”
I rushed us into our room before the cleaner realised we’d just f.ucked the lift up for her, and she’d be waiting a while.
I barely had a chance to sit on the bed before Anita said, “go out now?”
Flopping down on my back I sighed, “yeah, just give me a few minutes.” Big f.ucking mistake. I ended up falling asleep and when I woke up it was to newly decorated walls.
I shot upright, and I asked, “Anita, what the f***k have you done?” I looked around at all the scribbles and drawings she’d done on the walls with her f.ucking sharpie pens.
“Dada like?” She smiled.
“No, Dada doesn’t f.ucking like! That’s naughty, you know not to draw on the f.ucking walls!”
With her golden brown curls and hazel eyes I couldn’t stay mad for long, she had the same damn puppy dog eyes as her mum and when they teared up, I went over and hugged her. “I’m sorry, it’s my fault, I shouldn’t have fallen asleep, and you were probably bored out of your f.ucking mind. Shall we go out to eat now?”
She nodded, no longer willing to talk to me. Great. If I thought things would get better, I was sorely misled because it just went from one disaster to another.
Anita was much better at getting dressed these days, the only routine she hadn’t let go of when it came to clothes was me or Rose dressing and undressing her for bed. Rose had packed a baby pink dress for her, and she got that on herself and came over to me so I could zip the back up.
She looked in the mirror and grinning she twirled and said, “I’m princess!”
“Yeah, you’re a beautiful princess darling.”
She followed me out and to the lift, and when we reached the bottom, I thought f***k it and let her press all the buttons again when we got off.
When we were outside and walking, she held my hand and I looked at her, I smiled softly, she wasn’t paying any attention to me, she still didn’t make much eye contact, she didn’t like being touched much either, so I felt proud she wanted to hold my hand and I enjoyed it for as long as she would let me.
“What’s this for then?” I smiled, squeezing her hand gently. Without looking up at me, she said, “you my date.”
“Ah, right, of course.”
I took her into a restaurant called ‘The Chambers’ that wasn’t too busy, and the waitress sat us in a corner booth, pfft, funny, I noticed the waitress had her white shirt buttoned up, but when she returned with our drinks some of those buttons were undone, and she took her sweet a.ss time bending over in front of me so I could see down it…wasn’t much to f.ucking see.
I ignored her, and luckily, she didn’t try to flirt while my daughter was with me. Anita was excited and began flapping her hands happily, “you’re my date!” She grinned.
“Yep,” I murmured while looking through the menu.
“You’re my date, I’m like Elena now!”
I looked up from the menu at her, she was smiling happily, not making eye contact with me. I watched her, and it broke my f.ucking heart hearing her say that. Rose was really good with Anita, so was Nick, I tried my best, but I didn’t always understand what she was thinking or what she was aware of, I didn’t realise until then just how aware she was that her sister was living her life and doing things Anita didn’t or wasn’t ready for, things that by the sound of it, Anita wanted.
“Yeah you’re like Elena,” I smiled, but my soppy feelings didn’t last because she was becoming a bit too excited and kept repeating, “you’re my date! You’re my date!”
“Yeah, keep your voice down,” I said in a hushed tone, but she ignored me and said to a waitress passing by, “I have a date!”
The waitress smiled at us and did a double take when she saw me, Rose would say it was because she was noticing how attractive I was, I would say it was because of my eyes. I had two different eye colours, one piercing blue and one piercing green with flecks of gold running through them and a golden rim.
I always felt on edge when women noticed me because my first thought was always it was my eyes, I’d been bullied for them in school until I got fed up and beat the f***k out of my bullies, and growing up I’d had women reject me or point out how weird or creepy my eyes were, Rose loved them, some other women had too, nine times out of ten I could pull a woman easily, but it was always that one f.ucking negative comment that stuck with you over the million positive ones.
Someone behind us must have heard because I heard them whispering, werewolf hearing meant I heard the whole conversation, knowing what was coming I took a deep breath to stay calm and, as if on cue, one of the teenage girls in their group stood up and leaned towards our table, “are you on a date with a teenager? No judgment, I’d totally say yes to you.”
“No dipshit, she’s my daughter, it’s not a real date.”
Clearly she’d never been called a dipshit before because she sort of just stood there looking lost and with her jaw hanging open wide enough that if she didn’t close her mouth soon she’d be f.ucking dribbling.
One of her friends whispered for her to sit down and tugged her back into her seat and I turned back to Anita who in a raised voice said, “you don’t want to date me!”
“Ssh, of course I do darling, I only said it wasn’t real to shut them up.”
Her eyes briefly met mine, she looked unsure whether to believe me, but then she smiled and said, “ok!”
While we were eating dinner I passed Anita a small bag, and she opened it up, smiling, she opened the valentines card I’d gotten her with kittens on the front, she grinned, and I watched her pull out the single rose, some haribo sweets and a baby pink small collar. She frowned holding the collar and asked, “this?”
I knew she meant what was it for and answered, “the plush toy kitten you’ve been wanting for months, the one that walks and meows and s.hit.”
“I get kitten!” She squealed drawing the attention of some people on their tables.
“Yeah, it will be there when we go home.” I couldn’t get her a real one on the off chance someone might be tempted to eat the poor f***k.
She was so excited she started rocking in her seat, flapping her hands, her glass of lemonade was beside her, and her hand accidentally knocked it flying off the table, and onto the floor, some droplets landed on the table beside us, and the lady huffed in annoyance.
These days I worked harder to be polite, did I really give a damn? f***k no I didn’t, but it helped keep that dark part of me locked away, so turning to her I said, “I’m really sorry, my daughter has autism, and she likes flapping her hands when she’s happy, she didn’t mean to.”
She was a plump middle-aged woman with light-brown hair to her shoulders, wearing a simple black dress. She looked at me and her cheeks grew bright red, with the way she couldn’t stop her eyes from traveling over me it was obvious she was checking me out, but her husband was with her and so were her two children, dressed all prim and proper, the son’s hair was even f.ucking combed and parted, he reminded me of f.ucking Dudley in Harry Potter.
The lady couldn’t let anyone know she thought I was hot, so she swallowed and firmly said, “that may be so sir, but perhaps you should teach your daughter some manners and how to sit at a table properly.”
“Did you just f.ucking call me sir? And as for my daughter she does have manners, she can’t help flapping her hands when she’s happy.”
“She’s a bit old for that, I’m sure she can sit sensibly for an hour.”
I swallowed the growl that wanted to escape me, I didn’t usually argue if I could help it these days because it usually ended with me using my fists instead, but I wasn’t ruining Anita’s night. I calmly looked at the lady and smiled sweetly at her, “eat your dinner before it goes cold dear.”
“If it’s cold then it’s because of the drink that was spilt on it.”
“Jesus Christ lady! Eat your f.ucking food and shut the f***k up, maybe three little droplets hit your f.ucking table, not your food, quit crying and b.itching about it.”
I turned my back on her and heard her mumbling to her husband, “no wonder the daughter doesn’t have any manners with a father that talks like that.”
I turned back to face her, and she gulped, the husband tried to give me dirty looks, but his p*****. a.rse knew to leave the arguing to his wife because if he tried he knew I’d knock him the f***k out. “If you’d been kind and understanding, I would have paid for your meals, even though it didn’t touch your f.ucking food, but you’re such rude stuck up c.unts and can go f***k yourselves.”
The lady just had to do it, she just had to do that irritating f.ucking laugh people do to wind you up, and I’d had enough.
“You could pay for all of our meals?” She asked sarcastically.
“Lady, I guarantee I’m richer than you and f.ucking Mr d.ick here. I don’t want to hear another word coming out of your f.ucking mouth about me or my daughter.”
“How dare—” she began, but I grabbed my fork and stabbed it into my table hard enough it stayed embedded, “shut the f***k up,” I snarled.
“Toilet Dada,” Anita said.
I stood up with her and no one said a word when I passed by them, I ruffled their son’s hair and said, “trust me, you don’t want to be a Dudley.”
They all looked at me like I was crazy, pfft, didn’t surprise me they’d never seen the movie, probably were only ever allowed to watch Christian shows.
I waited outside the disabled toilet for Anita, I didn’t like letting her use the public ones because if someone tried anything or said anything, and I wasn’t there I’d probably kill them when I found out, besides, Anita hated the loud noise of the hand dryers anyway.
When she came back out, she was quieter than usual, and I asked, “what’s up with you?”
“Dada mad.”
“I’m not mad darling.”
“You swear a lot and yell at people.”
I stroked her hair and said, “sorry darling, I’ll try not to, I don’t like it when people say mean things.”
“I know people don’t like me,” she said, throwing me off.
“That’s not true.”
“Is true, I hear them.”
“Aw baby, f***k what anyone says, they don’t understand because they’re stupid and ignorant. You know I love you just the way you are, right?”
She shrugged, “you not say it much.”
Cupping her face I kissed her forehead and said, “I’m sorry, I will do better saying it more. I do though, I love you so much Anita, you’re my everything, and I’d do anything for you.”
“Love you too.”
“Come here,” I pulled her into my arms and held her tightly, “I love you baby girl.”