Deceived

Chapter 7 | The Sparks of a Wildfire

Oh it is so subtle, so unseen, so small

As it grapples for fuel and more

But once it reaches its full heights

A wildfire lasts through long nights  

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There are times where the regret of your deeds and the anxiousness associated with it slowly fade away. While there are times where regret and it's partner, anxiety flare up in an untimely manner like an unforgiving storm. It makes you cringe your eyes shut as you replay every moment of your actions in your head, cursing yourself internally, leaving you asking every hidden force 'Why me?'

They say pain demands to be felt, they never mention how regret demands death; momentarily but fatalities are struck.

Thus, when Alethia saw Carter's smiling face after her alley shenanigans she was immediately reminded of how appreciative he was while giving her the project.  

She took a deep breath and put the restless snake to sleep determined to get it together even though the poison was running deep in her veins. She gathered the manuscripts, leaving her nagging self behind and entered her bosses cabin to discuss the ongoing preparations for the meeting. Carter so gladly helped her fix a few things, looked for loopholes in the contract and advised her on what to do and what not to do. He was so wonderful as he cleared all her doubts and boosted her confidence by telling her stories of his first solo project and how he nearly messed it up. Laughing with him made her almost forget Mr. Burn. Almost.

As the meeting came around, Alethia became nervous wondering how it would go. She had read Mike, the author of the book they were ready to publish. He seemed like an enthusiastic writer, his story was on point. It was the kind of novel that left its readers swooning, shocked, crying and asking for more. It was a thriller with the right amounts of drama and suspense. She had to be perfect for this. She was preparing herself mentally when a sudden thought dawned upon her like a bucket full of ice cold water.

He was going to be there.

The thought of him sent swift tingles along her skin. Nathan would be there. There was nothing more distracting to her than him, with his blue eyes, slight smirk, watchful gaze and knowing ways.

Marry me. His words played in her head again and again until she felt like ripping her hair from her head.

Everything suddenly seemed to have gone downhill as opposed to the wonderful morning she had had, feeling confident and so close to her dreams and it had all been because of him. She was starting to regret ever meeting him. She held on tightly to the regret and sculpted it perfectly to bring out the weapon of indifference upon her face.

Thats it. I'm just going to ignore him.

As the clock ticked and Carter came to accompany her to the conference room she was no longer nervous. She wanted to get through the meeting with whatever dignity she was left with after that morning. She set up everything and ordered coffees for everyone.

Soon enough Mike walked in with his big grin, shaking their hands and getting himself comfortable on his chair. She smiled at him, welcoming him warmly but then dove right into the matters at hand. She wanted to get it done, perfectly without any distractions while Nathan was still away. No one mentioned his absence, it was almost like they were expecting it. She didn't question it, a tiny part of her was glad to not see him again while a tiny part was disappointed.

After discussing all the nooks and crannies of the procedures, the happenings there forth and the dates, the contract had been signed within time with no objections from both sides. Mike seemed happy, as Alethia told him how much she had enjoyed his book and they were getting more friendly while Carter just sat and added on to the conversation. Once the white cups lay empty on the glass table with a few dark drops of coffee left behind they decided to finish off and part ways.

Through out the meeting Alethia had held onto her working girl poise and maintained her calm. Once Mike left and Carter went back to his cabin Alethia was left alone in the conference room for a little while. She sighed a deep sigh. Closing her eyes she put her head down glad to have gotten the meeting over with. Her hands knotted, she just sat still not worrying about anything. It hadn't even been half a day and she was already tired. Tired but happy as she had successfully concluded the meeting, hopefully impressing her boss. She felt lonely, like she was missing something. Someone to tell her she had done well, someone to see her through and hold her to fill the emptiness within. Stark blue eyes appeared before her closed lids. She let them sink, not knowing why that comforted her so much.

Finally after picking up all the papers she came back to her cabin. She wanted to thank Carter for being such a supportive boss. She knocked on his door with a smile, knowing he would have nothing but praises for her. His voice filtered through the door and she walked in oblivious to the scene before her.

Blue eyes, ice cold looked up at her from the seat before carters desk. Carters mumbles were like background noise as she stood still realising that thunder had finally struck.

"Alethia! I'm so proud of you. You did it!" Carters voice had become louder. She looked at him in a daze and back at Nathan, trying to read him but he seemed all closed up, like he didn't want to acknowledge her.

"Oh right! You met Mr. Damon the previous time right? Well he's here as the new VP to the company, he's helped us with this.." 

Carter was stopped mid sentence as Alethia couldn't control her tongue in her disbelief.

"Wait what? Our new VP?" She looked at Carter incredulously.

Carter was a little taken aback for Alethia was always so professional around him, she always respected her superiors and maintained her stance thus, it felt strange to him to see her react like that.

"Well Nathan this is Ms. Alethia Foss. She's gonna be the newest member of the publishing team! She's brilliant. You'll see..".

Alethia smiled at Carter and nodded. She avoided Nathan's gaze and acted like she hadn't had a proposal from him just that morning.

"Welcome to the company Mr. Damon." She said monotonously, while her insides quivered.

She quickly excused herself and packed her desk to leave for the day. She was exhausted and just needed time with herself to figure things out.

By lunch she had texted Carter that she wasn't feeling well and left for home while dragging Rhea out of the elevator. 

"So I found out only a little despite my insane stalking skills. He's inherited this huge company that buys and sells other company's according to benefits. It's quite confusing really but.."

"Rhea." They had stopped in front of the diner.

"What?" Rhea asked confused, looking at her with a tilted head.

"He's the new VP of the company." Alethia blurted.

"You're kidding? He is the one who bought all those stocks? Oh my god he's freaking rich Alethia." Rhea nearly screamed at her.

"Who cares about that! This guy asked me to marry him and kissed me while I just stood there forgetting about everything. He is my new boss Rhea! It doesn't exactly comfort me knowing that."

"Well if you put it that way.. but all these high up guys don't interact with people like us. They interact with the publishers and editors that too once in a while. I don't think we'll have a problem." Rhea tried to comfort her.

"Yeah, hopefully. So, I might be getting promoted into the publishing team." A tiny smile lit up Alethia's face thinking about the good things that had actually happened that day.

"That's amazing girl! I'm so proud of you! You did it. You're in! Don't let Mr. Burn ruin it for you. It'll all be fine." She hugged Alethia and shook her shoulders while saying that.

Alethia chuckled a slight half hearted chuckle. 

"I hope so. But I have bigger problems to tackle. Like telling Jason." She looked away from Rhea feeling ashamed that she had acted the way she had.

"Well, how do you think he'll take it?" Rhea asked her in a small voice.

"I don't know. I don't understand him still. You know how it is with him." She replied still looking away.

"Anyway I'll call him tonight and discuss this. It was truly a mistake. I hope at least you believe me." Finally the truth had started to dawn on her. The magic of the kiss had faded away and she was left regretting it all.

"Of course I do. I know you're not that kind of a person. You're a loyal, trustworthy sweet heart. It's Mr. Burn who's bad news. " Rhea held her hand and clutched it tightly, reassuring her friend knowing how many battles she had to fight within to forgive the slightest of her own mistakes.

"Right. A little truth would have been better." Alethia played along the game as they walked silently to the diner to get lunch and trying to avoid the one topic of conversation that was burning in both of their minds. Mr. Nathaniel Damon. 

•••

The empty walls of her bedroom didn't bother Alethia much as she thought of ways to tell Jason she had kissed another man. She felt dirty, she wasn't the kind to cheat, it was hard for her to open up to people forget taking twenty steps at once.

She had taken a shower, changed into a comfortable long, grey coloured sweater that hung on her frame loosely. While taking every single step she had thought of him, it was becoming an uncontrollable habit. She wasn't the girl to obsess over a man but there was something between them, in his eyes, in his touch that had her so drawn to him. There was this yearning that burnt inside her, a surreal fire as she felt her chest warm up.

But the regret wasn't much behind, the guilt and stupidity of it all was choking her, sitting grudgingly at the base of her tongue. In a sentence full of sighs she had asked Jason to come over to her place. He never did ask any questions or noticed any changes in her which momentarily relived her as she wasn't ready for confrontation yet.

When the doorbell rang and Jason walked in, casually throwing his jacket on her couch and diving into her refrigerator for a beer she didn't know where to begin from. It took him several minutes to settle in on her couch when he finally looked up at her standing awkwardly besides the seat.

"How was your day?" He smiled at her.

"Umm bad." She started, looking away and taking a seat next to him.

"What's up?" He asked looking for the remote as he always did under the glass coffee table.

"Jason." She was holding her breath in as she looked at him, trying to grab his attention.

"I met this guy at work. He was kind of pestering me so I told him I have a boyfriend but he kissed me today." She was trying to comprehend his reaction. The anticipation of the tense atmosphere was killing her.

"And... I kissed him back. I just, in the moment it just happened. I didn't mean to hurt you or lie to you. I know we haven't been together for long but you mean a lot to me. I have nothing to do with him really." Alethia was trying to make it as clear as possible, the situation as it had happened as well as her intentions behind everything.

Jason just sat there looking at her surprised. He was quiet for a while taking it in which was very unnatural of him.

"So.. you work with him?" He asked holding back something, she could tell.

"No. Well not until today.. Apparently he's the new Vice President of the company. But it's not like I'll work with him. I'm in the publishing team so.."

"So he's above you?" He asked, with eyebrows raised.

She shut her eyes tightly while nodding. She didn't feel like the whole picture looked any friendlier with that detail.

Jason seemed quiet as Alethia failed to look at him, feeling the tears brim along her lashes but keeping them at bay as she was never the one to cry in front of others.

"Right. So what exactly are we? I know we never said we were exclusive but I don't understand. You took such a long time to open up to me. Do you have feelings for him?" He was angry. Jason was angry and Alethia had never seen him that way before but she had obviously anticipated it.

"No- I don't know him much. Just saw him twice." She stuttered. Alethia herself hadn't tried to decipher her feelings for Nathan but being confronted about it by Jason made her feel pathetic.

"You don't sound so certain about it." His voice had become so cold. It stirred awake unpleasant memories in her gut as she gulped staring shamefully at the floor.

"What do you want me to say man!" Jason was getting louder. She flinched internally becoming alert about his behaviour and how it brought back all the worst of the memories of her past. Despite the fear that started creeping in she didn't respond knowing it was her fault and his anger was justified.

"I'm sorry Jason. I really like you and never wanted to hurt you. I know this is bad. But I'll stay away from him. He's nobody to me really!" She looked up at Jason with a few tears leaking down the sides of her face.

"Fine. I think you should look for jobs in other places." With those words he got up and went to hunt for more beer in her refrigerator as he gulped down the first.

His statement shocked her to the core. She could never imagine working anywhere else other than Creative Publishing's. It was a second home to her. She had Rhea who was always there with her sweet smile standing by her through everything and Carter who had been so helpful. She had started from scratch and had finally reached somewhere in her career. How could she just pick it all up and leave? Where would she ever find a more accepting place? She had just gotten a promotion as well! She looked at him questioningly.

"You want me to leave my job?" She asked to make sure of what he was implying.

"Of course. You said he's gonna be your new pres or whatever which makes him your boss. I don't want you hanging out with this guy. If you really did tell him you have a boyfriend then that was a d*ck move on his part." Jason shot back at her. The way he was looking at her made her feel uneasy. Everything about him had changed.

"I understand. But he's the VP of the whole company. He doesn't need to interact with me. I'm a small publisher in that place who just got promoted in fact. I can't just leave my job Jason." She replied standing her ground while being understanding about his opinions.

"Right. You know what you go enjoy your job with that guy. I have a date to go on." With that he reached out for his coat.

"A date?" She was getting angrier by the moment as she realised what he was saying.

"Yup. Had cancelled it since I have you but may be I should try some new lips too. Anyway you're not going to listen to me." Jason started walking off coldly.

"So it's either I leave my job or we break up? Isn't there anything I can do to make you feel better? Show you that I'm truly yours.." She asked still trying to make him stay.

"Nope. He's going to be in your life as long you're in that place and I don't like that. You can either do it my way or.. I'll call you later." 

With that he went out the door slamming it behind him.

Alethia felt every piece of her sane mind shatter and fall into pieces along with her body on the floor. She had expected things to be bad but she had never expected Jason to treat her like that. She was trying to understand his point of view, it was her fault, but the way he behaved with her made her feel so pathetic about herself.

All the sleeping monsters came booming alive as she sat on the floor besides the couch crying into the sleeves of her sweater. Those unkind voices were swirling around her head diminishing her, telling her she was nothing and asking for blood.

Regret is a storm that leaves everything broken in its path and Alethia in that moment felt pure regret.

She didn't realise how long she spent crying near the couch. Eventually her tingling legs lead her to the cabinets of her kitchen. With tender fingers she reached out for the bottle of red wine and paced slowly into her bedroom. She sat there besides her bed watching the chilling night outside through the open balcony window gulping down the sweet alcohol. The blossom pink curtains flapped as the winds got colder and her body became number.

In her buzzed daze she never saw him standing outside watching her. As her eyes slid shut, she saw his shadowed figure walking in and felt the blood rush along every part of her chassis. A relief flooding over all the burns she had inflicted on herself.

"Do you feel it too?" She slurred, wondering if it was truly him or whether she was talking to herself.

"What exactly are you feeling?" His husky voice always had this mesmerising effect on her but today it was playing with her heartstrings.

He slowly crouched down before her, looking at her with such gentle blue eyes, it made her melt.

"Apart from the nausea? This..This warmth, an unexplainable rush, the need to fall into your arms. Do you feel it too?" She asked him in all seriousness. She wanted to know, if she the only one.

"Yes.. every time. And it keeps getting worse." He sat down in front of her. His roughly padded thumb reached towards her chin, wiping away the little wine that was left behind. His eyes turned red as he did that and she felt it deep in her core, every emotion he was feeling.

"What is this? Who are you?" She reached up to his face, caressing his scar again. She followed the line with a slight finger from the corner of his lip to his nose and as she reached his nose her palm, so lightly rested against his cheek.

"I don't understand it either. But every moment I'm away from you it gets harder to bare." He swiftly took her outstretched hand in his and wrapped it in his big, warm hands. Then looking up at her he moved in, tenderly putting his forehead against hers.

She felt complete, happy. She hadn't even realised it but there was this fire in her chest that had finally extinguished as soon as she saw him.

"I know you're in this state because of me. Don't blame yourself, it was my fault. I couldn't help myself. Or this thing between us, it just makes me want to crash into you and never leave. It will get better. I'll make sure of it. I'll take care of you." He said placing a sweet kiss on her forehead.

It took her breath away. She felt another wave of tears knock her down. Nobody had ever said that to her. Nobody had ever made her feel so at home. She looked into his eyes, so close.

"But why? Why are you here?" She asked with a broken voice. Everything about him made no sense to her.

"I can't tell you. After everything that I have started to feel about you I will never be able to tell you why I was really here. But I can tell you why I'm here now.." He smiled at her, a genuine smile. It was the first time she saw him smile, it was so pure and warm, it made him look beautiful even. So unearthly.

"Why?" She asked breathlessly, staring at his lips.

He came in closer, breathing against her lips,

"For you.." 

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Oooooh.. I like this chap. Came out this way spontaneously. So this is a new side to Nathan. What do you guys think?

Please vote and comment to show your support! I always enjoy knowing what you guys think..

Love,

Sheen