The Promise

Chapter Six--Until You Wake Up, I Will Stay

"Where is he?" asked Mrs. Carmina Tan upon arrival, voice full of concern and panic.

"In there."  Gavin answered, pointing to the Emergency Room behind him.  "I'm sorry.  It was my fault.  I shouldn't have--I should have...it was all my fault." he muttered, crying, shaking, fearing for Charles's life.

Carmina and Hugo held Gavin.  Trying to calm him eventhough, they themselves are in need of emotional support.  But right now, Gavin barely resembles the man he came to be, but the boy from long ago.  Scared.  

"He's gonna be fine, Gavin.  Everything's going to be alright.  It's not your fault.  It's not anyone's fault."  Hugo said, assuring Gavin.  But they are Charles's parents.  They couldn't help but fear for their child's life.  Even if they hide it.

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Charles could see it clearly now.  The picture made whole by every pieces of the puzzle.  And that picture is the captured image of his happiness right now.  As he quietly and secretly lingers on the bed, looking at Gavin's sleeping aura--peaceful and beautiful, like a blessing.  His happiness is now.  Far from his blurry past but now.  His happiness is here.  Currently sleeping.  He realized, it doesn't matter if he'll never know Gavin's whole story.  What matters is that, he's here.  And he is Gavin De Guzman.  His housemate, his love.

Gavin awoke, seeing Charles's innocent face smiling down at him.

"What?" he asked, voice a bit groggy from sleep.

"Can we remain here forever?"  Charles asked thoughtfully and somewhat dreamily.

Gavin smiled.  "If that's what you want, then I'll stay here with you."

Charles smiled with Gavin's reply.

"But we can't.  We have to go to the mall." he said, standing up.

"Why?" 

"I still haven't told the doctor that I broke up with him." he answered sheepishly.  Ashamed at himself.

"What's that gotta do with going to the mall?"

"We need to buy suits.  Y'know, gala-worthy suit."

"Wait, is that tonight?  And you plan to tell him on his birthday?  Wow.  What a nice present for him.  I'm sure he'll be filled with joy."  Gavin commented, teasing Charles.

"Well, if I can't tell him tonight, when?"

Catching the tone of panic in Charles's voice, Gavin got out of bed and embraced Charles.  "Fine.  I'll be there with you."  

"You have to understand.  We're not exactly invited."

"Even more interesting.  We get to crash a party."

Charles smiled at Gavin's feign enthusiasm.

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The glimmer of the mansion's house ignited the aura of elegance and class of the people in it.  Gowns of colors black and gold intermingled when seen from above; while the black and white tuxedos of men humbled the atmosphere of elitism.  Mindless chatters of 'important' consequence filled the gaps of the little society.  Raised eyebrows, fake laughter and smiles, high standards...Charles and Gavin looked at each other, smiling at the joke that is in front of them, yards away from the mansion's huge gate.

"Tell me again, how are we supposed to enter this party?" Gavin whispered.  They are waiting in line while the two hugely-built guards check the list of attendees.

"I...don't know.  Plan was to buy a suit then enter the party.  Don't really know what happens between that."  Charles timidly answered, secretly wanting to kick himself in the shin for being stupid.  

Gavin shyly laughed at that.  "Well, guess we could just wing it." 

Charles nodded.  The two moved forward--only one couple left and it was their unfortunate turn.  When Charles's phone rang.

"Hello, Mom?"

"What are you doing there, waiting in line like you aren't a Tan?"

"What?"

Charles looked around, searching for his mother.  He saw them at the mansion's terrace, overlooking everybody like a pair of royalty.  He saw his mother waved.  Charles smiled, remembering the mansion's façade and interior--it was his family's mansion reserved for hosting benefit parties and galas very much like this one.  How could he have forgotten?  Oh yeah.  He doesn't really attend parties.

He ended the call and took Gavin's hand.  "Com'on."  They stepped out of the line, walking towards the guards.

"You're gonna have to wait your turn." said the guard holding the clipboard.

"I don't have to wait.  For I am the son of this mansion's owner.  Charles Phillip Tan."  Charles condescendingly replied.  Gavin bit his lip to keep himself from bursting into laughter.  Charles using his status delivers quite the cringe.  Not like him at all.  Gavin thought.

"Here's my proof."  Charles said, holding out his phone.  He called his mother.  The guard took it answered.  After a few Yes, Ma'am, the guard with the clipboard signaled the other.  He pushed a button and the gate opened.

Charles and Gavin walked hand in hand.  Their eyes immediately observing the little society.  While on their left, Charles's parents were seen approaching them, stopping from time to time to greet the guests.

"Don't you two look dashing."  Carmina commented.

"Hi, Mom, Dad." said Charles, kissing his parents' cheeks.

"Good evening, Mr. and Mrs. Tan."  Gavin greeted, smiling at them cryptically.  Carmina and Hugo returned the look by smiling widely.

"This is nice.  After four years, you've finally attended the party."  Mrs. Tan continued. 

"Well, someone helped with my anxiety." Charles replied, gently squeezing Gavin's hand.  Gavin smiled at that.  

Carmina and Hugo caught the glowing affection of the two young men.  

"Uh, Mom, Dad, have you seen Dr. Zarate?" Charles asked, frankly avoiding the lengthy pleasantries, and wanting to quickly move with the dreadful news of break-up.

"Oh, the birthday boy.  He's inside the house.  Being entertained by his colleagues." Mr. Tan answered.

Charles looked at Gavin, sending the message to converse with his parents.  Gavin smiled lightly and acted quickly.

"Mr. and Mrs. Tan, I heard that--

Gavin led Charles's parents away, while Charles traversed the path towards the mansion.  When Charles was far enough, Carmina and Hugo asked anxiously, "How is he?"

"He's actually doing well now.  Charles is learning to be around in public places.  And--

Gavin stopped.  He wasn't sure if he should divulge his intimate relation with Charles.  It has been eight years since he last saw Carmina and Hugo and he wasn't certain if they would accept Gavin more than Charles's protector or brother.  Sure, they knew of Charles's gender identity frankly at the same year when Charles confessed to Gavin.  Their love never changed.  But what about him?  He is after all, still the orphan street urchin that they adopted.  And the feeling of not belonging didn't evade Gavin completely even with their constant shower of affection and kindness.

"And what, son?"  Hugo asked, bothered by the expression of hidden pain, guilt, and uncertainty in Gavin's eyes.  Being a businessman for God knows how long, Hugo acquired the magic of reading another person's micro-expressions.

"It's alright, Gavin.  You can tell us anything." Carmina urged him, face always gentle and motherly.

Gavin breathed.  The two significant figures in front of him have been his parents.  If he was to truly love Charles, he needs to know just how much he would sacrifice in extension of that.

"I love Charles.  And he loves me.  More than you could usually see."

Silence enveloped the three.  Carmina and Hugo, unsure how to react.  Gavin, standing tall.  Their silence was broken when Gavin called out Charles who was walking hurriedly, expression grim.

"Charles!"

But Charles didn't look his way.  Did he not hear or did he not just bother to look?  Carmina and Hugo looked in the direction Gavin was calling.

"What's wrong with him?" Carmina asked, concerned.

"I don't know.  I should follow him.  D'you mind?"

Charles's parents just shook their heads, speech not really in them since Gavin's astonishing revelation.

Meanwhile, mind filled with utmost concern for Charles, Gavin raced behind Charles's traces.  He finally saw him outside, standing in front of the car.

"Charles, what happened?" he immediately asked, walking towards him.

Charles faced Gavin, face surprisingly smiling with a mixture of contempt and turmoil.  Now, Gavin is even more concerned.

"Can you believe I rushed out of there?  In my mind, angrily thinking that once I got here, I will drive away into the wilderness.  Then, I remembered, this is a rental car.  And you have the keys.  Because you drove us here." he explained, laughing.

"Charles, what happened there?" Gavin repeated the unanswered question.

Charles stared at Gavin, wanting to find solace in his expressive hazelnut eyes, wanting to intoxicate himself in those eyes.  But all he saw was his obscure reflection.  Suddenly, the present is not enough for him.  He wants to know.  He needs to know.  What in the world happened to him?

"Charles, please." a voice called out.

The two men looked at the gate and saw Dr. Gerald Zarate.  He stepped closer.

"Please don't leave me.  I love you, Charles.  I need you."  the doctor pleaded.

"I told you.  I don't feel the same way now.  We've been together, what?  Two years?  And in those two years, I could only count in my fingers the time I've been truly happy with you.  But you know, the thing is, you don't love me either.  At least not enough to be honest with me, to her, and yourself.  Can't help you, doc.  I have my own problems to sort."

What is he talking about?  Gavin asked himself, desperately wanting to understand.  And because of his, trying to make sense of Charles's babble, he didn't notice the quick slip of a hand in his pocket, from it, the car key.

The two men who involved themselves with Charles were staring at each other, when Charles took off in the rental car.  They were too late to respond. 

Breaking News:  Charles Phillip Tan, the 20-year old son and only heir to the Philippines' renowned Tan Dynasty of Business, is in critical condition after crashing a rental car to a tree on Highway 64.  He was last seen leaving the gala benefit party of Medical City.

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Three days after the accident, Gavin still hasn't left the hospital, more specifically Charles's room.  According to the doctors, Charles's fatal head wound induced his comatose state.  Disheveled and stressed, dark circles of his eyes were extending down his cheeks.  He couldn't eat nor sleep.  Events leading to the accident on loop in his mind.  And so, in Charles's bedside, he sits, holding his hand, always in prayer.

Carmina and Hugo found him in that position when they entered the room.  Gavin didn't even move to acknowledge them.  Or maybe, he really didn't just notice.  They were carrying a bag full of Gavin's and Charles's clothes from their house.  Hugo set the bag down while Carmina sat beside Gavin, holding him.  

"Gavin, you need to rest."  Carmina lovingly said.

"I'm fine.  I don't need to rest." Gavin replied, unflinching.

Carmina glanced at Hugo for help.  Hugo understood.  He walked to Gavin and gently removed him from Charles.  Gavin didn't react violently.  In fact, he wasn't reacting at all.  As if he was in a trance.  And truthfully, he is.  Hugo sat him down on a sofa across the hospital bed.  

"Gavin.  Gavin, look at me."  Hugo commanded, lightly slapping Gavin's cheeks.  Gavin looked at him, eyes bloodshot from insomnia.  "Charles is a fighter, you know that, right?  He would get through this, alright?  D'you know why?  Cause he has more reason to live now.  

"Do you remember your confession during the party?  You told us you love him.  You told us, you two love each other.  And not just the brotherly love but the love whose roots burrow deep within.  And believe me when I say this, we couldn't have been happier for the both of you.  We had witness you two growing up and we know.  We know just how far you would go to prove that love.  Heck, even now, you're proving it.  

"But Gavin, if you truly love him, be strong.  Endure.  And accept that there are many things in our lives that we cannot control no matter how strongly we want to.  It is easier to blame yourself in this circumstance.  To blame another.  To blame a deity.  It's easier cause then it made sense.  But it doesn't have to.  We always try to make sense of everything but it doesn't matter.  What matters is that you're here now, for him.  As you always have been."

Gavin blinked and tears began to fall his hurting eyes.  And those tears became sobs.  Tiredness and sorrow finally seeping in to break his lost spirit.  And it was good.  For finally, Gavin could start to find himself again.  He was taken with keeping his promise to Charles that he didn't realize, he, too, was a lost boy in the jungle of their past.

Carmina and Hugo embraced Gavin, sheltering him in their arms.  For in that moment, Gavin was the one in dire need of their affection and care.  The warmth of  a parents' love wrapped around Gavin.  Letting him to peacefully close his eyes and sleep without dreaming anything...well, for a moment.

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"Charles!  Charles! Wake up, Charles!"

Charles softly opened his eyes and scanned the surroundings, adjusting his vision.  He looked to his left and saw Gavin, the 10-year old Gavin, smiling innocently, hazelnut eyes shining brightly like the morning.  He shifted his eyes to Gavin's hands.  It was close, as if there was something in there.

"What is that?" asked Charles.

Gavin's smiled widened.  He lifted his hands and opened it.  Nothing.  Charles frowned.

"Take my hand."  Gavin said.

Charles did not ask further questions.  He just shrugged and took Gavin's hand.  Gavin led him to a door.  And when they both opened it, a blinding white light towered over them.  But they didn't close their eyes.  They looked.  The white slowly dissipated, morphing into shapes.  And when the image was complete, they saw themselves as they are now.  

Gavin sleeping on the sofa.  Charles lying on the hospital bed.  The two looked at each other and smiled.  They entered the room.

Gavin and Charles abruptly woke up, both exhaling.  Gavin almost run beside Charles's bed and he saw Charles looking up at him with tears in his droopy eyes.

"Found you." they chorused.