The Promise

Chapter Two: Until You Come Home To Me

Wounds eventually heal through the magic of time.  But it leaves a scar--a constant reminder of from where or when a person has gotten the wound.  In the case of Charles, the scar of his seemingly distant painful memory is too much to bear that it became an option to erase it completely.  Void of traces.  Void of reminders.  

Yet, standing in front of Mrs. Carmina Tan and Mr. Hugo Tan is the one variable that could bring it all back.  Shocked and disbelieving, they barely uttered his name, "Gavin?"

Gavin smiled, his heart welling up with happiness, reluctance, and hope.  He feels as if feelings would explode.  

"Hi there, Mr. and Mrs. Tan."

Charles's parents almost tripped when they embraced Gavin--then a helpless, orphan boy; now, a tall, handsome man standing proudly and independent.

"But--"

"How?"

They asked when they finally let go.

Gavin told them the story of their escape and every event preceding that.  What he had done, whom he had met, and the promise that was made which led him back to where it all started.  

"So, where is he?" he finally asked after telling his story.

Carmina and Hugo glanced at each other and their mood became sullen, almost ashamed.  Carmina held the young man's hand, caressing it.  She began to tell the most painful years Charles had to endure following his and Gavin's traumatic incident.

"Two days after the news of your k********g incident was reported nationwide, Charles was found unconscious on a roadside with a minor gash on his leg.  Just yards away from the dense forest of Sitio Sabang in Pangasinan.  An unknown called tipped the authorities that he might be there.  Until now, we don't know the identity of the mysterious caller.  But if it wasn't for that person, my baby wouldn't have been brought back home to me.

"But then, his nightmares began.  Every night after his rescue, we would be awakened from his screams and wails.  Every night, he would yell your name with this anguish bellowing from deep within him."

Carmina stopped.  Wiping the tears streaming down her eyes.  Trying to be strong as she relives the darkest moments of her son.

"Finally, we decided to consult a psychologist.  The doctor said that Charles's night terrors are an effect of his trauma from the k********g but it is so much more.  She said...she said..."

"She said our son is feeling a mixture of tremendous guilt and loss.  Because of you." Hugo sternly but carefully continued when his wife couldn't build the courage to do so.

Feeling a mixture of tremendous guilt and loss.  Gavin repeated in his mind.  Trying to connect the pieces of the puzzle.  

Because of me?

And then it hit him.  He looked at Carmina and Hugo--the persons who showed him the love of a parent when he was too vulnerable to know it.  

"You erased me from his memories." Gavin heavily uttered.

"You have to understand Gavin.  We're parents.  And we would do anything to ease our son's pain.  Even if it meant--

"I understand.  The happiest memory is the most painful one." Gavin replied before Hugo could complete his explanation.

Surprisingly, he does understand their actions.  One has to make sacrifices for the one they love.

"But we were wrong." Carmina suddenly said.  "Yes, after the hypnotism and repressive procedures, his night terrors had banished.  But the heart doesn't forget, Gavin.  He may have no memory of you, but you are still living in the deepest corners of his heart.

"Charles reverted back to the way he was before he met you.  And this time, much worse.  He shunned people out, Gavin.  Including us.  He became afraid to get close, but he doesn't understand why.  One time, when I finally asked what's bothering him, you know what he answered?"

Gavin didn't reply.

"He said, 'I don't know, Mom.  But I feel this huge and incomprehensible void inside me.  As if I'm forgetting something that I shouldn't have forgotten.  It's pushing me to insanity.' And it did...somehow."

Carmina focused her attention to an empty vacuum.  Distant.

"Somehow what?" Gavin asked, insisting on answers.

"He attempted suicide when he was 15.  And when turned 16 years old.  Right on his birthday." Hugo answered.

Gavin was taken aback by the information provided to him.  He didn't know that he would cause that much sorrow in Charles.  He didn't intend for that to happen.  But he made the choice.  He left Charles when they should have been together.  It was his fault.  It was all his fault!  He shouldn't have left him.  What was he thinking?  These thought scourged his spinning mind.

"I-I'm sorry.  I-I--

"It's alright, son.  We are sure that what you did, you did it so our son would be safe.  You've always protected him.  Don't doubt yourself now." Hugo sincerely reassured Gavin, tapping the young man's shoulder.

"W-where is he now?"

"He moved out when he went to college.  Said our house suddenly seemed too suffocating.  We made him a house in the suburbs near his college.  We'll give you his address." Hugo excused himself and went to his nearby study to scribble Charles's current dwelling.  Meanwhile, Carmina looked longingly at Gavin and held his hand once again.

"This is good.  You're back.  That means my baby will be back too.  Will you bring him back home to me, Gavin?"

"I will, Ma'am.  But I need time.  I promised Charles that I will find him.  And I intend to keep my promise.  I will find Charles.  I will find his lost and broken pieces.  And I will make him whole again.  And I won't stop until he comes home to you.  Until he comes home to me."

Carmina finally smiled of relief.  Her beauty starting to awaken from their long slumber.

"Here is the address." Hugo handed Gavin a strip of paper.

Gavin looked at Charles's parents.  "We have to make a plan."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Gavin breathed and tried his best to smile at Charles.  What did he expect anyway? That Charles would see him and by some miracle, his memories would come rushing back to him?  Unfortunately, yes.  He hoped and wished, even with the knowledge of Charles's tragedy.

"Yes.  It's me.  Your new housemate." Gavin finally uttered the words of his alibi.

"Oh.  You're that Gavin!" Charles nervously laughed.

A week ago, Charles's parents encouraged him, no pestered him to have a housemate.  Arguing that he can't isolate himself forever.  Besides, they said, his house is big enough for another soul to live there.  And other blah blah blah.  They kept on and on and on, spouting points that he couldn't easily deflect.  

Although, their peskiness bothered him.  He has been living alone for the past two years--why the sudden insisting for housemate?

"Nice to finally meet you. " Charles said.  Gavin just smiled as a reply.

"How come you're here?" Charles asked.

"Visited a friend."  Gavin replied, longingly staring at Charles.  For some unknown reason, Charles couldn't help but stare at the guy, too.  He couldn't explain it but there's something different about him.  Something that tugged at Charles but still beyond his comprehension.  

They heard footsteps coming from the door of the rooftop, breaking their moment.  They both looked towards the door and saw a figure in white, lab coat.  Charles run to the figure. It was the doctor.

"Have you been waiting long?" asked Dr. Gerald Zarate, eyes shifting from Charles to the guy.

Charles shook his head.  Then he remembered his, apparently, housemate.

"Uh, I want you to meet my housemate, Gavin."

The two guys shook each others hand in a polite yet strict manner.  Clearly, there is a tension between Gavin and Dr. Zarate.  

"Gavin, this is Dr. Gerald Zarate--the school physician and my--

"Friend.  Charles's friend." The doctor said, intervening with Charles's line of thought.  Why does he always do that?  Charles thought in exasperation.

Gavin stared at the doctor, examining him.  Gerald returned Gavin's stare, asserting his dominance.  While Charles's sensitivity tingled and looked at the both of them.  What's up with these two?

"Well anyway.  Uh, Gavin, do you need to move in now or--

"Nah.  I have a place to spend the night.  I can move in tomorrow."

"Oh great.  Cause I can't entertain you right now.  I have a da--errand to do with the doctor, right here." Charles explained, almost revealing his secret affair with the doctor to a stranger.  Stranger?

The two of them started walking away.  Their proximity betraying them.  Gavin diverted his attention to the clear but starry-less sky.  He feels envious.  He feels anger.  He feels sorrow.  It seems that he was already too late.  

I love you man.  And I'll find you.  I promise.

Gavin saw Charles with the doctor from the rooftop.  And from his point of view, he looked disturbed.  Or is that just him?  Seeing what he wants to see.  As they become smaller and smaller, their distance gaping wide,  Gavin truly realized the gravity of keeping his promise.  Their connection being cut by the merciless time.  How could he even hope to get him back when Charles already treads a different path.

But the heart doesn't forget Gavin.  Will you bring him back home to me?

He exhaled, the coolness of the night enveloping him.  He had decided.  He made a promise.  And promises should be fulfilled. He would get back Charles even if it kills him.