"Best Friends"

Chapter Seven

“Are you sure it’s okay I stay at the Wilson’s the whole break?”

“Are you sure it’s okay I go see your grandmother?”

I look up from spinning my low mien. “I promise, Dad, it’s okay. You offered to stay, I know I could go too, but I actually think it might be good for you – you as a person – to see your parents. You’re only human, Dad.”

Eyes glassy he offers a half-smile. “When did you get so smart?”

My snark and sass responses I usually felt like replying with has dwindled out of my mind after a week of it just being me and him. I can see how much he’s trying; how much he cares… he even changed jobs to a desk-monkey position. He gets home just before dinner, sometimes bringing food, sometimes suggesting take-out, sometimes asking if I want to go out. I know food can be a coping mechanism, but also having the one-on-one is helping us both. His only requirement is that I eat dinner with him and sleep at home on school nights, so it is really easy to enjoy his time.

There had been one crying fest between the both of us, that first weekend alone. My packed bag dropping on the kitchen floor and he hugging me tight against his chest. He apologized for all the lost time and said that he was going to do anything to make things easier for me. He said that what my mom did is not my fault and it’s very much okay to be mad at her. Now, another week and a half later, the Sunday before mid-term week, I could honestly say as much as I hurt, I am not actually clinically depressed.

“I guess I have an emotional intelligence… given all that I have to deal with in my own head.”

“You’re smart in so many ways Candi. I can’t even imagine how hard it is to deal with the mental stuff on top of just normal teenage life.”

I shrug and take a huge bite of noodles. After stabbing a few General T’so’s chickens I look up. “My grades aren’t where I’d like them to be, if I’m honest. I used to have straight A’s. Through Middle School and Ninth grade. Up until Homecoming, anyway. And now I’m fighting to get B’s, holding C’s pretty well. Even with Jonah’s or even Clark’s help, I just… I don’t know.”

He puts down his beer, “Is there anything I can do? Do you want a tutor?”

I shake my head and look back down at my food. “Next year maybe, next semester I mean… I need to hold B’s and get some A’s to get my GPA up. I was talking to Clark, actually, about how it might be better for me to go to community college for my AA then to University for my BA. What… uh, do you think?”

There’s a small silence, I lean back against the booth, hand on my cup. Fingers going up and down the condensation. Finally, he says, “I don’t follow.”

“Well, I know money shouldn’t really be a problem and I can probably get a scholarship or grant or whatever, too. But with community college, it’s a little more laid back. It’s not so important for me to have a full course load. I’m not walking in there with every other Senior that’s graduated - all my age, all with the same expectations and having the same things expected of me.

“There’s not so much pressure to do everything a certain way. I talked to my therapist about it and the school counselor, and they both said that it’s easier to go at my own pace in community college. Plus, I can live at home.”

“Aren’t there a lot of classes online now, anyway?” He tries, trying to see another solution too.

I shrug. “Yeah, but I rather go into a classroom. It already stressing me out to think about not having a teacher actually there. No, I need to be in a classroom, actually talking with someone, and around people that are leaning what I’m learning too. I just think with doing this way, being with people who have their own ups and downs and hardships and their own pace to follow, might be more…” realistic, “… comfortable.”

His face is a mix of trying to understand what I’ve said and contemplating his response. “I think I can understand how that might be easier for you. Take only a couple of classes, see how much you can handle. I’ve never had to deal with what you’re going through, but it seems like you’ve really thought this out.”

I look to my Cherry Coke quickly, “You’re not disappointed?”

His eyebrows jump up, “Oh honey, no! I’m actually extremely proud of you. You already know so much about yourself and your illness and what you need. I think it’s very brave of you to not only acknowledge your limitations but accept them and make a plan. I’m sorry I wasn’t here to help you with these hard choices.”

Shifting in my seat, trying not to get too emotional, I start on with, “Jonah was thinking about it too. Though I think that’s because he doesn’t know what he wants to do. Clark though, well, he’s pretty much a guarantee for a full ride to all the state’s universities for his football, maybe even other states too. He said he was even looking into Ivy League, which he’s a totally genius so….”

“You’re going to miss him.” Not a question, with the tone of an educated statement.

I roll my eyes, “Clark? Of course. And Jonah too, if we don’t end up at the same college. But it’s not like we won’t talk all the time.”

“There’s a big difference from not seeing someone for weeks at a time then walking across a lawn whenever you want, though, honey.”

Does he really think I’m unaware of this? Does he really think I haven’t already freaked out about Clark possibly going across the country? All the times he was able to sneak across and meet me on the roof, poof! Next year and Senior year it won’t be his face I see in the morning and around school. And with a new University worth of girls… smart girls, gorgeous girls, girls taking the same classes as him… I’ll become a forgotten thought. Just somebody he used to know.

I reach into my purse for a Hydroxyzine, taking that with a swig of soda, then texting Clark I had done so.

“Oh, Candi, I didn’t mean to stress you out,” Dad comments hurriedly.

I give a shoulder shimmy, “It’s not a big deal… there’s a lot going on right now, it happens,” and eye the new notification on my phone. Lowering it to my lap, I click over to Clark’s conversation.

Is it your dad?

What is he doing?

Do I need to yell at him again?

I smile and feel my chest ease.

We’re talking about college.

He’s not making you stress about that is he?

You told him what we talked about, right?

You came up with a brilliant plan, Candice.

Don’t let him get you down.

He asked what school you’re thinking about.

Oh?

I tried to make that question seem more normal.

Same with Jonah.

Oh. Well, right now…

I’m looking at University Of Virginia.

My brows come together.

Really?

It ranks #25th of National Universities.

It’s not a bad school.

They’ve been trying to get me since Freshman year.

I could stay at home.

I stare at his last text. Is that the real reason or an afterthought?

“Candi, what is it?”

My phone drops to my lap and I look up, “What?”

His eyes squint a little, “Your expression…. I cannot tell if it’s good or bad. Is something wrong?”

I slip my phone back in my purse. “To answer your question from earlier, apparently Clark’s leaning towards University Of Virginia.”

“That’s a good school,” he says cautiously.

“That’s what he said. Apparently, it ranks twenty-fifth of National Universities.”

“Mhm….”

I scratch at my brow then fold my arms over my stomach as I lean into the cushions. “He said they’ve been trying to get him since Freshman year - with his football and everything. And, well, he said something about how it would give him a chance to stay home.”

“A train ride away, yes. A better commute than I have.”

I nod but can’t help but feel guilty.

Dad must be able to read me now, for he leans forward and says in a very calming tone, “Candi, he’s almost an adult. He can make that choice if he wants.”

My head shakes softly as I stare at my straw. I can feel the tears tickling my bottom lid. “I can’t be selfish like that.”

Dad smiles, a soft chuckle. “You ever think that maybe he’s being the selfish one?”

*

“‘Nevertheless She Purrsisted’.... Really?” Jonah looks up from the cup I’m holding. “That’s really what you’re going to give her for Christmas?”

“It’s got a little cat on it,” I defend.

He holds back laughter. “I can see that.”

“I think it’s cute.”

“I never said it wasn’t. I’m just saying is that really what you want to get her for Christmas?”

I push my hand through my unruly hair. “Well, what the f**k would you suggest?”

“A book, maybe? I know she always finds something at Popup Books.”

I would much rather take her there and see her excitement over vintage books. “Hm… that’s on the other side of town, though, isn’t it?” I follow him to the cash register, thinking on the suggestion. “What did you get her?”

“All of Buffy: The Vampire Slayer and Angel on DVD, obvi. We’re still playing catch up on all the quality we missed.”

Standing behind him in the front of FYE, I look around at all the impulse buys of geeky and nerdy things. “That’s like twelve seasons together, isn’t it?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, I could get her more than one thing, too.”

He rolls his eyes. “You’ve only ever given her one gift. Don’t think you have to rise to my level.”

I snatch the R2D2 thumb drive off the little shelf. “This year’s different.”

After paying he stands back, a brow c****d. “Oh really?”

I don’t look while I had over cash and wait for my bag. “With her mom and all.”

“Oh. Right, yeah.”

It isn’t a lie, but it isn’t the whole truth. Out into the wide hall of the mall I look around, “Which way is the Barnes And Noble?”

Already glued to his phone he points to the right of us. “That way, but I’m heading to the food court.”

“I’ll text you when I’m headed to the car.”

“Mmm,” and we part ways.

Into the bookstore I get around the checkout and stop, really not sure what I’m looking for. Quickly there’s a perky, “Can I help you with something?”

I notice it’s one of the brunettes from the Cheerleading squad. “Well, I’m looking for a gift.”

She smiles right up at me, “And who’s the lucky person?”

“Candice… you know her, right?”

“Candi? Of course. She’s in my English class. Her nose is always stuck in a book, you came to the right place,” she lets off a simple laugh and touches me arm briefly.

“You notice what she’s been reading?”

“She has a different book every day, I swear,” she attempts to be playful, “but by the covers it seems like she’s been reading romance novels.”

She leads me towards the back of the store. “Almost the whole semester she was reading young-adult and teen stuff,” she points to the right of us. “But when she was done with her final, I noticed she had a J. R. Ward book,” and she points to the left.

“Do you remember which one?”

“Mmm. One of the vampire ones, I think.”

We walk along the isle and at the very end, the second shelf from the bottom, is all the bookstore had to offer for J.R. Ward. I pull out my phone and start going through her i********:. Just before break she posted the first book of the Legacy series but not the second. I scanned the shelf and just my luck they had a single copy of Blood Vow. “Do you have any suggestions for the teen section?”

“Realistic fiction or fantasy or…?” she asks as we head to the other end of the store.

“What’s The Unexpected Everything?”

“Realistic.”

“That, then. But not P.S. I Like You – she’s already read that.”

The Cheerleader eyes me. “You really are best friends, huh?”

My eyes scan the shelves and I let off a non-committal, “Mmm.”

I pull out A Little Something Different by Sandy Hall. The soft pink color attracted me, and the cute cover seems nice. I read the tag like ‘Fourteen viewpoints, One love story’ and read the back. It seems right up Candice’s ally. Eyes back to the shelf, I hear the Cheerleader ask, “Are you guys going to have another Christmas Party this year?”

I shake my head. It was hard enough getting Pops out of the house now that he and Mom didn’t go to a work party, and now with Candice’s whole parental situation…. “No. But we’re having our normal New Year’s Eve party.”

“Oh! Sweet. I’ll have to stop by,” and out of the corner of my eye I can see her cross her arms under her chest to push her breast together. Usually I would flirt a little, even just for a flustered reaction and leave it. Or to get her all wound about the party so she would show up with all her friends.

This time though I kept scanning the shelves. “Any other suggestions?”

“Sorry?”

I gesture forward. “For books?”

“Oh. Um.” But I could tell she was more lost than I was.

I nod and lift the two books. “Thanks,” and I walk away since she won’t.

Right as I’m walking to the front I pass and whole display of Winnie The Pooh products. Some based off the Summer movie, some more like Disney’s, and then there was a whole collection with the original styling. I spot a little Piglet amongst the display of Pooh’s. Smiling to myself I think of how Candice would always call him ‘Pliget’ and actually cried when she found out he was he and not a she. She loved Piglet so much even when Jonah argued Tigger was better. Her biggest argument, no matter how much he yelled, was that Piglet was brave – no matter what, even if he was scared or it meant for asking for help, he did whatever it was because Piglet was brave.

Feeling triumphant, I text Jonah that I’m about to check-out.