Guilty Stars

6

What did that mean? Hadn’t he and Sofia been together in high school? Was he still longing for her? I didn’t want to be a second-place prize. I had to figure out what was going on. “I always assumed you two were a couple back in school. Was that not the case?” “No, just good friends.” “Was that hard?” I asked softly. I sensed that I was slipping into counselor mode with the questions, but I had a morbid need to know what had happened between them. To know where I stood with him. “Back in school, it was difficult. I wanted more from her but knew she didn’t see me the same as I saw her. I hoped for a long time things might develop between us, but it never happened. She went to college, and I started working. We spent far less time together. Just recently, I discovered that I’d moved on more than I’d realized. When he came back into her life, all I wanted was to make sure she wasn’t hurt again. I was even happy for her, knowing she was with the man she’d loved for so long.” He spoke as if he were still processing his feelings on the matter, and I was touched he would share something so personal with me. “That’s incredibly kind of you to want the best for her.” Pushing aside the shadows that had descended over our conversation, Michael lifted his eyes back to mine and smirked. “We’ve had two sessions where you got to hear all about me and my background. Now that we’re not on the clock, I want to know more about you.” He leaned forward expectantly, forearms resting on the table. “I’m not all that exciting.” My heart rate skittered up a notch at the prospect of talking about myself. As someone who got paid to encourage people to purge their secrets, I could be a giant hypocrite sometimes. My family life was not my favorite topic of conversation. “You said you lost your dad when you were young. How did he die?” I cleared my suddenly dry throat. “It happened when I was five. He was killed in a car crash—drunk driver.” “Did your mom ever remarry?” “She was devastated for a long time. His death left her with debts and no job; it was an enormous struggle, and she was never the same. A couple of years later, though, she met a successful banker and quickly married. I could tell even as a child that it was a big relief for her to have a sense of security.” Michael narrowed his eyes and studied me. “And how do you get along with your stepfather?” I took a sip from my water glass. “He’s not my ideal choice, but I’m on my own now. I prefer not to waste my thoughts on them.” I smiled, hoping to smooth past the discussion. The topic was too sensitive for a first date. I was relieved when Michael nodded and moved on, but I could see the questions dancing behind those sharp black irises. “What about siblings? They have any kids?” “Nope. What about you? I don’t think you ever told me if you had any siblings.” “Just me, and that suits me fine.” He leaned back, grinning like a kid who nabbed all the cookies from the cookie jar. I huffed out a laugh. “Wish I could say the same. I’ve always thought having a brother or sister as a companion would have made everything better. A built-in confidant.” I paused, lost in my own musings but continued quickly when Michael’s smile faltered. “But that’s probably just the social side of my personality talking. You saw how involved I was at school—guess I’m just a people person.” I kept myself busy in school so I had an excuse not to be home, but I wasn’t ready to explain that to him. In cinematic fashion, the waiter arrived at that moment to take our order and save me from the dangerous conversation. We spent the rest of our date in an easy exchange of words about a range of topics, none of which were remotely sensitive. I couldn’t recall the last time I’d enjoyed myself so freely that I didn’t want the evening to end. We reluctantly vacated our table only after the restaurant staff began the process of closing for the night. Our car ride home was quiet. I was lost in thoughts of what came next, both short term and long. Was he expecting to have s*x? Was I ready to have s*x with him? Was I even prepared to have any kind of relationship with him? Michael was a gangster. I had no clue how extensive his criminal activities were. But at the same time, he was more than his occupation. I’d felt drawn to him even when we were younger, and time spent with him only validated those feelings. Did my desire for him trump the fact that he was a criminal? I glanced over at his stark profile in the dim car lighting. He was quiet but aware. Always watching and understanding, as if those obsidian eyes of his saw right through to the heart of people. I wasn’t sure anyone had ever truly seen me. Understood me. But if anyone could, I had a feeling it was Michael. He helped me from the passenger seat after pulling up at my building, taking my hand and walking me inside the lobby. I appreciated that he didn’t allow awkwardness to set in. He moved with confidence, easing us to a stop not far from the elevator. “Tonight was perfect,” he said softly, eyes shining. “When can I see you again?” I bit my bottom lip, trying to control the giddy smile attempting to burst free. “How about Saturday? You could come by my place, and I’ll cook. Say, six o’clock?” “I’ll be there.” He tugged my hand still clasped in his, pulling me flush against him. I gasped, my eyes staying locked on his and hands lifting to his chest as a wave of euphoric happiness crashed over me. “Fair warning, Evie,” he rumbled with our lips inches apart. “I believe I found myself in your office for a reason. This time my eyes are wide open, not fixed on something I can’t have. I think you’re incredible—a ray of f*****g sunshine in this dirty, harsh city—and I want every bit of that warmth for myself. I don’t play by other people’s rules. I say what I think, and I move at my own pace. If it’s too much, you tell me. You can always be honest with me, understand?” I nodded almost absently, still reeling from his words. He’d been open and up front, affectionate and unapologetic. It was everything I’d come to know about him, and it made joy explode from my chest to think that such a magnificent man could want me. Awe melted into molten desire as his lips slanted over mine, claiming me with unabashed hunger. I felt coveted and priceless in his arms. Secure and protected. I was instantly addicted, greedy to make the feeling last indefinitely. His tongue tangled with mine. My heart pounded in synch with his. The earth ground to a halt mid-orbit, and the gravitational force that existed between us became the new center of the universe. That unyielding attraction was all-consuming, and I’d never been happier to surrender control. Turn myself over to the winds of fate and see what they had in store.