FIRST MORNING

1758 Words
The next three hours were chaos. Willa wanted to play but got bored with every toy after thirty seconds. She tried to eat things she definitely shouldn't eat. She cried when I put her down and cried when I picked her up. She filled her diaper in ways that seemed physically impossible for something so small. But I managed. Barely. By the time Dax got back at nine, I was exhausted and covered in spit-up, but Willa was happy and fed and still alive. "How'd it go?" he asked, dropping his bag by the door. "Great. Easy. No problem at all." I tried to hand Willa to him but she clung to me, refusing to let go. He raised an eyebrow. "She really likes you." "Is that good?" "It's useful." He checked his phone. "We need to leave for school in twenty minutes. Can you be ready?" "Yeah." I put Willa in her playpen and ran upstairs. Threw on jeans and a hoodie, did something with my hair, brushed my teeth in record time. When I came back down, Dax's mom was home. She was a tired-looking woman in scrubs with kind eyes and the same dark hair as Dax. She smiled when she saw me. "You must be the new babysitter. I'm Rosa." "Astrid," I said, remembering to lie. "From the community college." "Dax says you're wonderful with Willa. Thank you so much for helping us." Rosa picked up Willa, kissing her cheek. "We don't know what we'd do without good help." Guilt twisted in my stomach but I smiled. "She's a great baby." "We need to go," Dax said, already heading for the door. "See you later, Mom." I followed him to the car, my stomach in knots. In a few minutes we'd be at school. Back to reality where Dax was popular and I was nothing. We didn't talk during the drive. When we pulled into the school parking lot, Dax turned to me. "Remember. At school we don't know each other." "I remember." "I'm serious, Astrid. One slip and this whole thing falls apart." "I said I remember." He studied me like he was trying to decide if I could be trusted. "Okay. I'm parking in my usual spot. Wait five minutes after I leave before you get out. Use the side entrance." "So no one sees us together," I finished. "I get it." He grabbed his bag and got out. I watched him walk across the parking lot, his whole posture changing. The exhausted dad from this morning disappeared. The confident quarterback took his place. By the time he reached his friends, he was laughing at something, every inch the golden boy. I waited exactly five minutes, then got out and headed for the side entrance. I made it to my locker without incident. First class wasn't for another twenty minutes. Then someone slammed my locker shut. I jumped back and found myself face to face with Brynn Whitley. She looked perfect as always. Blonde hair in a high ponytail, flawless makeup, designer clothes that probably cost more than everything I owned. "Well, well," she said, her smile sharp. "If it isn't the dumpster fire. I heard you got kicked out. Is it true?" My blood ran cold. "I don't know what you're talking about." "Please. The whole school knows. Sarah's brother saw you with trash bags on your lawn." She wrinkled her nose. "So where'd you sleep last night, fatty? Under a bridge?" Her friends laughed. I felt my face burning. "None of your business," I muttered. She blocked me. "I'm curious. You look even worse than usual. Like you didn't sleep at all." She leaned closer, sniffing. "You smell weird. Like baby powder. Gross." My heart stopped. Baby powder. From Willa. "I don't smell like anything," I said, but my voice shook. "Sure you don't." Brynn's eyes narrowed. "Tell me the truth, Astrid. Where are you really staying?" "Back off, Brynn." We both turned. Crew Holloway stood a few feet away, camera in hand. Dax's best friend. He'd always been nicer than the others. "This doesn't concern you, Crew," Brynn snapped. "I'm making it concern me. Leave her alone." "Or what?" "Or I'll tell Dax you're starting drama again. You know how he hates that." Brynn's expression flickered. She turned back to me. "This isn't over, whale." She walked away, her friends trailing after her. I sagged against my locker. "You okay?" Crew asked. "Fine. Thanks." "She's the worst." He hesitated. "She was right though. About you getting kicked out. Is there anything I can do?" "I'm fine," I lied. "I found a place." "Yeah? Where?" I froze. I needed something believable. "With a family. They needed help with childcare so I'm doing that in exchange for room and board." Close enough to the truth. "That's good," Crew said, looking relieved. "I'm glad you're safe." The bell rang. "I should go," I said. "Hey, Astrid?" Crew called after me. "If you ever need anything, just ask. Okay?" I nodded and hurried to class. The day dragged. I kept my head down, avoided Brynn, tried not to think about the fact that I was living with Dax. In fifth period English, we ended up in the same class. I sat in the back like always. He sat in front with his friends. When the teacher assigned partner work, Dax turned to the girl next to him. "Anyone but the fat chick in the back," he said loud enough for everyone to hear. The class laughed. The teacher said nothing. I kept my eyes on my desk and pretended my chest wasn't caving in. After school, I waited by Dax's car like he'd told me to. He showed up twenty minutes later. With Brynn hanging off his arm. My stomach dropped. They were heading right for me. Right for the car. Brynn spotted me first. "Ew, why is the homeless girl lurking by your car?" Dax looked at me and I saw panic flash in his eyes before he hid it. "I don't know. Probably waiting to beg for money." "Gross. Make her leave." He turned to me and his voice went cold. "Get lost, Thorne. Stop being creepy." I stared at him. This morning he'd trusted me with his daughter. Right now he was looking at me like I was garbage. "I said get lost." His tone was vicious enough that people nearby turned to look. I walked away, my face burning, hands shaking. Made it around the corner before I stopped, pressing my back against the wall. My phone buzzed. Unknown number. "Meet me at the side entrance in 10. Walk home from there. I'll pick you up after I drop Brynn off." Dax. I wanted to scream. Instead I waited ten minutes, then walked to the side entrance. Dax's car pulled up fifteen minutes later. I got in without a word. "Sorry about that," he said as he drove. "Brynn wanted a ride and I couldn't say no without it being weird." "You humiliated me in front of everyone." "I had to make it look real." "It felt real," I said quietly. Silence. "This is what you signed up for, Astrid. You knew the deal." "Yeah. I knew the deal." We didn't talk the rest of the way. When we pulled into his driveway, Willa was visible through the window. The second she saw me, she started reaching, making grabby hands. I got out and went inside. Willa practically lunged into my arms, babbling excitedly. "Someone missed you," Rosa said, smiling. "She's been fussy all day but she calmed right down when she saw your car." "Hey, sweet girl," I murmured. Willa grabbed my face with both hands. Dax walked in, already on his phone. "I've got practice. Back by seven." "Dinner's in the fridge," Rosa called. "Both of you make sure to eat." He left without looking at me. Rosa headed upstairs. "I'm taking a nap before my shift. Willa's all yours." I spent the afternoon with Willa. Fed her dinner. Gave her a bath. She was clingy but I got her settled. By the time Dax got home at seven, she was in pajamas playing with her blocks. He looked surprised. "You got her bathed already?" "You said keep her alive and not crying." "Yeah. Good job." We ate dinner in awkward silence. Around ten, there was a knock on my door. "Yeah?" Dax opened it. "Willa won't go down. Can you try?" I found her in her crib crying. I picked her up and she immediately stopped, curling into my chest. "How do you do that?" Dax asked from the doorway. "I don't know." I sat in the rocking chair. Hummed softly. Willa fell asleep within minutes. I tried to put her in the crib but she woke up crying. Picked her back up and she settled. "She wants you to stay," Dax said. "I can't hold her all night." "Just stay until she's really out." So I sat there, Willa asleep on my chest, while Dax watched from the doorway. "Thank you," he said quietly. "For today. For helping." "I'm just doing what you're paying me for." "Still. You're good with her." "What did you expect?" He shrugged. "I don't know. I just needed help and you needed a place." "And at school?" I couldn't help asking. "Does that seem like it's working?" His jaw tightened. "It has to work. There's no other option." "Right. Because your reputation matters more than basic human decency." "My future matters more than high school drama. Scouts don't want to recruit someone who can't keep his life together." "So I'm a complication." "That's not what I meant." "Yes it is." He was quiet. Then, "Get some sleep when you can." He left. I sat there until Willa was deeply asleep, then transferred her to the crib. Crept back to my room and collapsed. My phone buzzed. Text from Dax's number. "Same routine tomorrow. And Astrid? Thank you. Really." I stared at the message. Dax Montero was a walking contradiction. Cruel at school, almost human at home. I closed my eyes. Tomorrow I'd wake up and do it all again. This was my life now. And somewhere between the exhaustion and confusion, a terrifying thought crept in. What if I was starting to not hate him? What if living with my enemy was going to destroy me in ways I never saw coming? I pushed the thought away and tried to sleep. But it lingered. Dangerous and impossible and absolutely terrifying.
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