What am I
1614 Words
Harper’s POV
I sit quietly inside the carriage, staring out the window as the trees pass by, but I barely see them because my mind keeps returning to the same words Mason said before we left.
“Your wolf is not gone.”
“Someone made sure you could not feel her.”
I have repeated those words so many times in my head that they no longer feel real. They sound like something from a story, something that belongs to someone else, because for years I have believed the opposite. I believed I was the mistake. I believed the Moon Goddess had looked at me and decided I was not worthy of receiving the one thing every wolf was supposed to have. My wolf. But what if she was never missing? What if she was there all along, trapped somewhere inside me, waiting for me to find her? What if she thinks I have forsaken her, or if she is afraid to trust the Moon Goddess and thinks the goddess has forsaken her like I am?
My hands tighten in my lap as I remember the voice I heard in the courtyard before Mason arrived. The whisper calling my name. The presence I felt for years but could never reach. I close my eyes. I thought it was my imagination. I thought I was desperate enough to create something that was not there.
The King of the North knew something about me that I did not even know about myself. It frightens me more than I want to admit. Because if he is right, then my entire life has been built on a lie.
The sound of horses suddenly slowing pulls me from my thoughts. I open my eyes and immediately notice the difference outside. The soldiers are no longer moving casually. They are alert. The easy confidence they had before disappears, replaced by alertness as if they are waiting for an enemy. Something I can never feel coming because I do not have a wolf. Or she is sealed away inside me somewhere.
I move closer to the carriage window and look outside. King Mason is riding at the front of the army, and even from a distance, I can see the change in him. He is alert and ready for anything or anyone who may threaten him or his men. He is the King everyone fears.
His shoulders are tense, his eyes are focused, but he looks dangerous and sharp. The carriage door opens before I can ask what is happening. Mason stands there, his silver sword drawn.
“What is wrong?” I ask.
“Stay inside. Do not come outside, no matter what,” he says.
I almost laugh because he thinks he can order me around. He kidnapped me. Took me from my pack, and he thinks I am going to stay with him even though he wants to reject me.
“I am starting to think everyone in this world enjoys telling me where I should be and what I should do,” I say.
For a moment, something almost changes in his expression. He almost looks amused, but then it disappears.
“This is not the time to argue.” He says.
That makes me sit straighter. “Who is it?”
He does not answer immediately. That tells me it is someone powerful and dangerous. Is it rogues?
Before he can say anything, a voice comes from the trees.
“Well, this is unexpected,” the voice says, and I feel a shiver going down my spine as I recognize that voice. He is the reason I was punished.
The soldiers immediately draw their weapons. Mason steps away from the carriage, placing himself between me and the forest. I watch him carefully. I am not afraid. I know the wolf who is talking.
A group of wolves walks from the trees, and at the front is a man I recognize immediately and with whom I still have a debt to settle.
Alpha Blake Jackson.
The old Alpha of the Dark Moon Pack.
The man I was supposed to impress. The man who was supposed to take me away from Silverline. The man who rejected the idea of bringing me into his pack but who turned me down and was the reason for my last beating at the Silverline Pack. He does not seem as rude as he was when we last met. He is calm and almost seems polite.
“King Whitlock,” Blake says with a small nod. “I did not expect to see you traveling through these lands with my former hostess.”
Mason’s expression does not change. He stays calm, not showing emotion as per usual. “She is not your concern.”
Blake’s eyes move toward me. “Harper Cole.”
Hearing my name coming from his mouth makes my body tense. “You remember me, Alpha Blake Jackson. We have a score to settle.”
His eyes return to mine. I see a brief flash of something in his eyes. Can it be fear? It disappears so quickly that I question if I imagined it.
“How can I forget you? You are as lovely and as wolfless as always,” he grins.
The answer makes me uncomfortable. Mason notices it. I know he does because his entire body becomes more guarded.
“What do you want, Blake?” Mason asks.
The old Alpha looks at him calmly. “Nothing that belongs to you.”
The words make me uneasy, and I can feel the tension in the air. Mason does not move, but I feel the threat between them.
“If I were you, I would choose my next words carefully,” Mason says.
Blake smiles slightly. “You always were protective of what you considered yours.”
I hold my breath.
Mason’s eyes become colder. “She is not mine.”
The answer surprises me. I do not know why. Maybe because part of me expected him to say the opposite. Maybe because even though he said he did not want a mate, hearing him deny it still hurts.
Blake watches us both carefully. I find it interesting that he is looking at us like that. It seems like he is trying to put the pieces together as to why I am with the King of the North and not at the Silverline Pack anymore.
“So the rumors are true,” he says.
“What rumors?” I ask.
“That the great King of the North attacked Silverline because he was interested in a wolfless human,” Blake says.
“I did not attack them. I am not interested in any she-wolf. You should know that,” Mason says, his jaw tight.
Blake raises an eyebrow. “Then why is she with you?”
The silence stretches. I wonder what happened between him and Mason in the past.
“She is going to the North to become a healer,” Mason says.
My heart sinks slightly.
A healer?
The lie hurts because it sounds too similar to what everyone else has always believed. That I cannot fight, lead, or have any other purpose because I have no wolf. I cannot be a mate because I am not good enough. But I understand why he says it. He is protecting the truth and trying to protect me against anyone who might think I am a threat. Some might question me and also feel the wolf inside me, even if it is faint.
Blake looks at me. “A healer?”
I force myself to answer. “Yes, why not?”
He studies me. “You believe the Northern Kingdom will accept you? A wolfless creature? They are strong wolves. Are you hoping to become the Queen?”
“I do not need anyone to accept me, and I do not want a mate. Who would want a wolfless creature like me anyway? Not a mighty King like King Mason,” I say.
His eyes narrow slightly. For the first time, I think I see something like approval.
“You have changed,” he says.
The words confuse me.
“You barely know me. How would you know?” I ask.
A strange expression crosses his face. “Maybe not. Perhaps I know you better than you know yourself.”
Mason steps closer. “That is enough. What do you want from us?”
“I only came because I was curious,” Blake says.
“About what?” I ask.
His gaze returns to me. “About why a King who claims he has no interest in weakness would risk angering an entire pack for someone he says is only a human.”
The words hurt slightly. I look at Mason, but his face is unreadable.
Blake turns his horse. “You should be careful, Harper.”
He is creeping me out.
“Why?” I ask.
“Because sometimes the things people take from us are not lost,” he says, grinning.
“What does that mean?” I ask.
His expression changes, and for a moment, he looks almost sorry. Then it is gone.
“It means you should ask more questions before you trust anyone. Not every King is worthy of being called one, and not every wolfless werewolf is hopeless.”
Then he turns and disappears into the trees.
I stay silent for a moment, watching the place where he vanished. Finally, I turn toward Mason. “What was that all about?”
He does not answer immediately.
“Who is Blake Jackson? What does he know about you?” I ask.
- Writer
