The synapses of a phantasmic mind

Dreaming is dangerous

“Alice! ALICE! Alice, wake up!” I could hear my mother screaming at the top of her lungs but I was in the middle of eating a delicious donut served by my dream mom. I had a hard time choosing between disappointing my dream mom and giving my real mom, a heart attack.

Sigh. I love my real mom besides I have only one real mom and multiple dream moms.

I shut my eyes tight like my dad had taught me since I was a little kid. This did the trick mostly and woke me up to the real world where I lived with my parents and my annoying brother.

I opened my eyes and could see my mom almost in tears. “Mom, I'm back.” My voice was hoarse which was weird. Isn't it weird that I said “I'm back” instead of “I'm awake”.

My whole life has been weird because most of the time it seemed like I was living a double life or multiple lives to be precise. Normal people would sleep and dream but I sleep and I'm living somewhere else. Some nights, if I'm lucky it's the same place and some  nights it's different places. The weirdest thing about this was that in all these places, I either had parents or friends that knew me and talk to me like they've been living with me their whole life.

Initially, I perceived them as just dreams like any six year old would. That's when it started and I would sometimes tell my mom about it. She didn't think of it much either. She was waiting patiently for my power to show up and it never did. Instead, the dreams were getting stronger and weirdly sequential.

One day ten year old me was drawing a tower with the longest antenna that I had dreamt about the previous night. My dad happened to see my drawing that evening and chaos followed. I was told not to talk to anyone about my dreams, not even my grandparents which was a pity because they were the only ones who really paid attention to all my dream narrations before. I was woken up every single day at 6 am sharp by my mother and was not allowed to take naps in the morning which wasn't fair. I loved those naps and it's the only time I felt like I was really sleeping because I didn't dream during the naps but that didn't really convince my parents. I was told not to attach myself or talk too much to anyone in my dreams but mostly I was told not to ever mention anything about the real world I was living in. I was sworn to silence and ten year old me didn't understand but obliged because dad had said, “Its for your own good, Alice.”

Thirteen year old me was not so obedient and demanded an explanation or I would go around telling people was the threat I had made. Apparently, I wasn't dreaming when I went to sleep, I was living in another dimension. That was my power and my mother cried the whole day of finding out. My dad figured it out with the drawing of the tower because he had seen that tower with his own eyes.

My dad was one of the research heads in the government's research wing where they did all sorts of crazy experiments to explore other dimensions using the powers that each person had.

I remember the words that my dad had used that day very distinctly and they were, “ It took us nearly ten years to combine the data and powers that we had to build something that could reach another dimension but what we built only gave us images, a few seconds in the other dimensions but you, Alice. You have this incredible power of experiencing these other dimensions when you go to sleep. It's beyond anything imaginable and offers endless possibilities.”

“So, it's a good thing.” I remember saying feeling relieved.

“No, it's not a good thing.” My mom answered.

“You see Alice, the reason that this should be kept a secret is because when people find out, when the government finds out, they might take you away from us.” My dad said removing his glasses.

“They will use you and your power and turn you into a tool for carrying out whatever they want.” My mother said as her handkerchief blew her nose. That was my mom's power. She could move things with her mind. You should see the kitchen when she's trying to cook. It will be empty because she won't be in the kitchen. She will be in the living room while her mind would do the cooking. Crazy stuff really.

Anyway, so that's really why I have a power that I can't really use and I can't really talk about to anyone and so it's useless. My parents call it dangerous because the people I meet in my dream are real people and these people may want to enter our dimension like we want to enter theirs so when they find out I'm actually from another dimension, they might kidnap me.

The truth is they don't know if it's possible. They don't know anything about the dimensions that I've been visiting except for the memories my dad has been able to extract from me of the dreams, first thing after I wake up. That's my dad's power by the way. He can read your mind, your memories from the past and know everything about you.

My dad has been studying these memories for the past eleven years and the only thing that he knows for sure is that, I've been visiting four dimensions or four places. He's not sure about the distinction between the two. He's been helping me with my dreams which is not of much help really. Nothing dangerous has ever happened in any of my dreams so all this charade of secrecy still seems so pointless to me.

I've been told to do things my whole life. I've been held down for things I was not responsible for. I've been reprimanded for silly things like making new friends or talking to new people in my dreams.

The worst and the most frustrating part is, I can't even lie about my dreams because my dad will know. He always knows.

There are days I wish I had my brother's power. He can visit places with his mind. He can skip classes whenever he wants because he can attend his class through his mind. He can watch his girlfriend like a creepy stalker with his mind. Crazy stuff again.

There were times I've felt really bad for not having a power but those are far less than the times I've felt bad for having the power that I supposedly have. Stupid dream power.

“You should've been back an hour ago. I've been trying to wake you for the past hour.” My mom complained.

“Sorry, mom. I got carried away. I was watching a football game.” I huffed.

“You were eating a donut.” My dad jumped in with his ever smiling cheeks.

“Thanks for enlightening us with the truth dad.” I groaned pulling the sheets off my legs.

“So, nothing interesting today then.” He said giving me a doubtful.

“When has it ever been interesting.” I rolled my eyes and got off the bed.

“You're late for school. Hurry up.” My mom tried to pat my shoulder but I moved away quickly.

“What's wrong?” She gasped.

“Sorry, force of habit.” I said and hugged my mom. It was a habit because they told me to avoid touching people in my dreams because touch is a great tool for attachment as they had called it.

“I love you, Alice.” My mom hugged back tightly.

“I love you too, mom.” I said breathing in her scent. She always smelled great.

“She really does.” My dad chimed in again.

“Dad, stop it!” I almost yelled.

“Sorry, force of habit.” He winked and left my room.

“I'll meet you downstairs in ten minutes.” My mom shouted as she followed dad downstairs.

Ugh. School. I hated school. I would have never crossed middle school if it wasn't for Memphis. Memphis is my best friend and she would not have it if I made fun of her name being an actual city in my dreams. Memphis saved me from the trolls at school. She knows my secret and my dad's okay with it. She also knows that I have a crush on Christan from school. He's a year older than me and totally, completely, uniquely handsome. Dad knows this too which is why my life is weird.

xoxxoxoxo