Coping

627 Words
Chapter 4 'Girl. You got me hooked on [laughs]. What do you mean the story gets unexpectedly crazy?’~ Rebekah "Girl relax [laughs] you are even grabbing your pillow and sitting up and everything" ~Leyla. [laughing together] "So I got to Canada still feeling numb and everything. I was did avoiding accepting my families passing. Plus I was even more hurt at the fact that I broke up with my first ever love." 'Also Elijah was depressed he didn't get out of bed he just laid the all day and night blaming himself and drinking himself self to sleep. And he went on like this for a whole year.' "Well I was kinda the opposite. So within the first four months of me being there. I was still 17. It was around November right?" 'Yeah' "Yep so, my dad gave me an option its either I went to therapy so I could deal with everything and accept everything and possibly move on. Or I uhmm... Wait I forgot the other option. " [laughing together] "Anyways [laughs] but what I do remember it that I didn't chose any of his options but instead asked him to join his operation. He kept refusing so I had I had to force him and so I told him its that or he'll never see me again. And so he gave me one of his best bodyguards. Actually his best bodyguard to go on missions with me and make sure I'm 'safe'." 'What the bodyguards name [smiles]' "His name Is Noah" 'Wait is he still your bodyguard or?' "Girl I'll get to that later. Let's first get through everything [laughs]. You know we are not even half way through yet" 'Damn [laughs] okay girl let continue' "Yeah so I went on missions and every single day I would drink. I'd drink from the moment I wake up after brushing my teeth of course [laughs] till I went to sleep. And I have a high alcohol tolerance so I drank a lot. That was the only way I could cope cause that way I didn't have to think cause when I think I remember every thing that's happened in my life and it hurts because so many horrible things have happened in my life. So this went on for four months. A lot happened in my life, I met many people , went on so many missions, but I don't even remember much cause I was so numb and I had to put on a fake smile everyday because that way people wouldn't ask 'how are you doing' or 'are you okay' or 'my condolences'. I guess everyone does that nowadays, we just tend to put on a smile just so people don't get worried about us because even though we wish someone could care and see though the fake smile and really ask 'are you okay' we don't want to get vulnerable because I guess we don't want to get judged and we do want people to feel sympathy for us cause in a way we want to feel normal cause at least when people treat you normal you can kind of run away from what you are actually going though and at least feel okay for a little second so now if you feel vulnerable in your head and in reality then you end up feeling miserable and week and depressed. [laughs] Well I guess that's how I feel. I just went off topic [laughing together] . Where was I?" 'You said you were going through a whole depressing coping spiral for four months. What happened after the four months?' "Oh damn this is were everything took an extremely unexpected turn" 'Girl. Wait is this the part about how you- ' ...
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