Rearview Mirror

Chapter 14

Chapter Eight

Times Gone By

As they neared the room, Nicole could feel Amber tense. “Are you sure about this? We don’t have to do this now if you aren’t ready,” Nicole said as they stood at the top of the stairs.

“I don’t know, but I really feel like I need to see it.” Amber looked toward Nicole.

Nicole stopped them outside the room, pulling Amber into a hug and holding her close. Amber wrapped her arms around Nicole, and they enjoyed the closeness for a bit. As they started to pull away, Amber smiled at Nicole.

“What’s that smile for?”

“Thank you for doing this. For allowing me the opportunity to see where my mom spent the last years of her life.”

“It was a pleasure having her here. She was a mother to me, too, more than my mother ever was,” Nicole said honestly, moving toward the door.

They entered the room. It wasn’t big, but it had an attached bathroom. There were two large windows with chairs in front of them. Amber could picture her mom sitting in them basking in the sunlight. A four-poster queen-sized bed had a nightstand on each side and a hope chest at the foot of it. The room colors were country themed, which Amber knew her mother loved, and the pictures on the wall and on the dresser were of Amber, Nicole, her mom, and some of them together. Amber picked one up, trying to figure out where and when it was taken. She recognized the location but couldn’t place it.

“That was one that I took when I went to New York on business,” Nicole said proudly.

“You took this?” Amber turned to face Nicole, who was leaning against the doorjamb.

“Where was this taken? I’ve seen it, I recognize it, but I can’t place it.”

“Let me see.” Nicole stood next to Amber and looked at the picture. “That was taken at the Brooklyn Children’s Museum.”

“I’ve been there once. Zach, Lucinda, and I went there to help with an art program for kids. I was teaching seven- and eight-year-olds how to use painting and sculpting to express their feelings.”

“That’s amazing. It must have been so rewarding to work with the kids.”

“Well, it was, thanks to one of the kids in the program. She came from a past resembling mine, only it was her mom who was the destructive force and her dad took her away from the abuse. We connected, and she was able to get out a lot of emotion in that short two-hour class. She smiled when she showed her dad her painting, and he came up to me afterward and told me it was the first time since they had left several months prior that she had genuinely smiled.”

They arrived at the museum just before it opened and set up their display and the various art stations. Lucinda supervised mostly while Amber and Zach did the work. Once they were set up, they stood off to the side while the kids were brought into the large room.

“Hello, everyone. My name’s Lucinda, and I’m a gallery curator. Today, we’re here to show you how to use art as a form of expression.”

“What does that mean?” one of the kids in the front row asked.

“That means we’re going to teach you how to put all that stuff that you’re holding inside into something artistic. Maybe you want to paint something to get out the frustration of getting a C on that last test, though you studied hard for it, or maybe you want to sculpt that monster from your dream in clay and then you can smash it so it doesn’t come back into your dream. I brought two of my favorite artists from my gallery to help. Amber is a fantastic painter, and Zach is a good painter and sculptor. Each of you will get a chance to choose what you want to try, and if you get bored or don’t like the station, you can move and try something different. I’ll help anyone who wants to draw.”

With the speech over, they allowed the kids to choose a station. Zach had several kids come over to his station and start to build with clay. Lucinda had a couple of kids who she helped with drawing, and Amber had three kids who were interested in painting.

“Hi, I’m Amber,” she said, kneeling so that she was at their level. “Do any of you paint on a regular basis now?” Amber saw one hand go up. “Well, then you’re going to have to be my helper if anyone needs help.” The little boy smiled back at her as if she had just given him the biggest cookie ever.

“Do you do a lot of painting?” one of the girls asked.

“I do. Painting is what helps me calm down and get out all that bad stuff I’ve been holding inside.”

“What kind of stuff?” the little boy asked.

“Like when I have a bad day at work or when someone says or does something that hurts my feelings. When I sit down to paint, I forget all that and focus on what I love and how happy it makes me. Why don’t we get you something to cover your clothes, so they don’t get covered in paint and then we can get started.”

Amber and the kids put on their smocks and moved over to where she had placed four canvases. Each kid picked a canvas. Amber brought them each a set of paints and brushes.

“All right, why don’t you each close your eyes and picture something that you want to paint, something that will make you happy and make you forget the bad stuff? Once you have that picture in your mind, move over to your canvas and try to paint it. I’ll be here to help if you need it.”

The kids closed their eyes and thought for a minute before they got started. Amber walked between them, looking at their pictures and asking questions.

“What are you painting?” Amber asked one of the two girls.

“I’m painting my mommy in her flower garden. She’s always smiling and happy when she’s out there, and she looks so pretty. I just don’t know how to paint her.”

“Well, would you like some help?”

“Yes, please,” the brown-haired girl said.

Amber took a brush, and after finding out the mother’s hair and eye color, she painted her into the girl’s picture for her.

“Wow, that looks like her.” The girl giggled and went on painting more flowers.

“What are you painting?” Amber asked the only boy in the group.

“I’m painting my soccer game where I scored the winning goal.” He smiled. “Do you know how to make a soccer ball?”

Amber nodded and painted one for him and then moved on to the littlest girl.

“Hi, what are you painting?” Amber knelt next to the redhead who reminded her of a young Nicole.

The girl just looked at Amber; the fear in her eyes broke Amber’s heart. She knew how this girl felt, and she was going to do whatever she could to help her.

“When I was little, my daddy wasn’t very happy with me, and he used to yell a lot. I would always feel so sad for upsetting him. I would go to my room and paint pictures of what he looked like yelling at me to get it out of my mind. Do you have someone who does stuff that makes you unhappy?” she asked, receiving a slight nod. “Well, what if we painted something together? Would that be okay?”

The little girl thought about it for a moment and then handed Amber one of the brushes. They spent the next hour painting together, and Amber started to see hints of a smile as they continued. Amber checked on the others briefly. When the time was up, the kids’ parents came in to get them. The girl who Amber had been working with ran over and grabbed the hand of a thin man with bright red hair and pulled him over and showed him her picture. She was smiling as she told him about it. Amber left them to enjoy it together; she could see the love the girl and her father had for each other.

“Um, excuse me,” the father said as Amber was cleaning up some of the other stations.

“Hi. Your daughter is an amazing artist.” Amber smiled at the little girl.

“Thank you. She told me what you said about your dad and what you two were doing. Her mother was the destructive force in her life. When I couldn’t stand to see it happen anymore, she and I picked up and left. This is the first time in months that I’ve seen a genuine smile on her face.”

“Well, I’m glad I could help. If you’re interested, I can write down what you would need to set up something like this at home for her.” Amber smiled over at the redheaded girl who was still beaming at the picture they had painted together.

“That would be great.”

Amber wrote down the information, and the girl hugged her tightly and thanked her for giving her back her smile. Amber did her best to hold back the tears, but she couldn’t help her heart from wishing someone would have taken her away from her destructive force.

After everyone was gone, Amber told Zach and Lucinda what happened, and they were amazed and proud at the way Amber was able to connect with the girl and help her.

“That’s amazing. You are amazing,” Nicole said. Amber smiled and put the picture back on the dresser.

“I can still smell her here,” Amber whispered as she looked around the room and then moved to sit on the edge of the bed.

“I can, too,” Nicole said. “She kept some journals filled with her thoughts. They’re in the chest. I never read them, but I thought you might like those, as well, to be able to read what she was thinking and feeling. She wrote in the journals several times a day.”

“Thank you for this.” Amber motioned around the room as Nicole came and sat next to her on the bed.

“You have nothing to thank me for. I did it to hold on to a piece of you for as long as I could.”

“That may be how you started it, but that isn’t why you continued it.”

“True, but I’m no saint in my reasons,” Nicole said. “Do you want some time alone up here? I can go downstairs or to my room.”

“Not right now. I don’t think I could handle it. Being alone in here right now would be more overwhelming than I can handle. Maybe after everyone leaves, you and I can come back, and you can show me the photo album and the journals.”

“I’d like that.” Nicole took Amber’s hand in her own and played with her fingers. “We should probably get back down there.”

“Yeah, I know. Being here alone with you is nice, though.”

“We’ll kick them out early.” Nicole winked at Amber, causing her to laugh.

When Heather arrived at the house, Jill let her in, and they took the food into the kitchen.

“Where are Amber and Nicole?” Heather asked.

“They’re up in Amber’s mom’s room.”

“Are you sure it’s a good idea for them to be up there alone?”

“Well, if you ask Zach, no, but I think they’ll let us know if they need help. After the breakdown that Amber had when we got here, I think they’re okay.”

“What do you mean breakdown?”

Jill explained what happened when they arrived and the reaction Amber had toward seeing the locks. Jill and Heather felt bad for them, but they knew that they weren’t going to get past this if they didn’t face it. After unpacking dinner and getting everything set, Jill called upstairs for Nicole and Amber to come and eat.

They received no response from upstairs, so Jill and Zach decided they would go check on the two women. They both went in case the women needed support.

Nicole loved the feel of Amber’s hand in hers. Her mind kept drifting back to when they had kissed at the pond. How amazing she felt when Amber pressed her lips to hers.

“I can see what you’re thinking about,” Amber said softly, giving Nicole a coy smile.

“And what do you think I’m thinking about?” Nicole had a slight blush.

“You’re thinking about kissing me,” Amber said with that lopsided smile that melted every defense Nicole had.

“No, I was thinking about when you kissed me.” Nicole blushed even more at the admission.

“And what were you thinking about that kiss?”

“I was thinking about how amazing it felt to have your lips on mine again. How much I had missed that feeling over the years.”

Without thinking or questioning herself, Amber leaned forward and kissed Nicole again. This time, Nicole brought the hand that wasn’t holding on to Amber’s up and put it on the back of Amber’s neck, pulling her in closer. They both moaned at the touch. Amber ran her tongue along Nicole’s bottom lip, and Nicole opened her mouth, allowing her access to deepen the kiss. Amber pulled Nicole closer, their lips moving together, their tongues dueling for dominance.

“I love kissing you. I’ve missed it so much over the years,” Amber said between kisses, pulling Nicole onto her lap.

“Mmm, then don’t stop.” Nicole pulled Amber into a deep kiss.

“Hey Nic, Amb—” Jill opened the door, and she and Zach started to walk in.

“Um…er,” Zach stammered.

Nicole and Amber broke apart, and Nicole casually slid off Amber’s lap and back onto the side of the bed.

“We’ll…um…just be leaving,” Jill said as she and Zach started to turn around.

“Y-you don’t have to leave,” Amber said, completely embarrassed to have been found making out on her late mother’s bed.

“We were just getting ready to head back downstairs,” Nicole said.

“I don’t think that’s what you were getting ready to do.” Zach turned the same shade of red as Nicole and Amber.

“Zach Pellot, if you want to live, you will not repeat or think about what you just saw.” Amber tried to sound stern.

“Yeah, sure,” he said unconvincingly.

“Same goes for you, Jill,” Nicole threatened.

“Right,” Jill said with a smile as she leaned out of the room. “They’re fine. They were just making out,” she yelled down to the others.

“I’m going to stay up here now. You all have a great night,” Amber said, mortified.

“Oh, no. If we have to go down, you have to go down.” Zach walked over and took Amber’s hand.

“You will pay, Woods. You will pay,” Amber said, glaring as she let Zach drag her past Jill, who was giggling uncontrollably.

“I’m the sheriff. I don’t think I will pay,” she said smugly.

“You will. Trust me, you will,” Nicole promised as she followed Zach and Amber downstairs, Jill bringing up the rear.

“Hello.” Erik and Heather smirked as Amber and the others entered the room.

“Hello.” Amber turned a couple of shades darker as she moved to sit on the couch. Zach and Nicole sat on either side of her. Jill went into the kitchen, got the food, and brought it out on a tray.

“Heather, can you grab the drinks?” Jill asked.

“Sure.” Heather went into the kitchen and came back with the drinks.

“Thanks for picking up the food, Heather,” Nicole said.

“No problem.”

“So, Amber, Zach was telling me earlier about how you two met,” Heather said with a smile.

“Oh, he did?” Amber giggled.

“I’ve apologized for ten years, will you let it go?” Zach said.

“Oh, come on, it was cute,” Heather said.

“I wanna hear this,” Nicole said.

“I want to hear Amber’s side,” Heather said.

“I hadn’t been in New York that long when I started to go visit the galleries. They were usually empty, and it got me out of the place where I was staying and wouldn’t allow me to dwell on my injuries. One day, I was looking at a painting, and Zach came over and asked if I liked the artist. I told him the painting was a fake. I asked him how I could know if I liked the artist if they ripped off someone else and couldn’t take the time to do something original. He laughed and told me he knew the painting was a fake and that he was the one who painted it. I remember thinking he was quite obnoxious and pompous thinking that he had painted it or that it would impress me to know that he had ripped off another painter. Then he explained that they had permission. I felt a bit guilty for judging him so quickly, and I told him it was a good replica. Again, he laughed at me, which annoyed the hell out of me, and then he said it couldn’t have been too good if I could tell that it was a fake almost immediately. So, I showed him where his flaws were. It was a few simple brushstrokes that he had done completely wrong.”

“I wouldn’t say completely wrong. You’re just too anal about that stuff,” Zach joked.

“You wish!”

“Amber, you know he was coming over to hit on you, don’t you?” Heather asked.

“Yeah, he asked me out just before the curator came over to offer me a job. And then he asked me out after she left and as we got to know each other for the next couple of weeks.”

“Yeah, and then she finally told me that she already had a true love and she missed her like crazy.” Zach looked at Nicole. “When I asked why she left, she said it had to do with the car accident she was in, and we left it at that.”

“I didn’t completely lie,” Amber said.

“No, you neglected to tell me that the car was your father,” Zach said flatly.

“True.” Amber looked down.

“Amber, I don’t blame you. You didn’t know me then. You could have told me over the years.” Zach set his and Amber’s plates on the table in front of them and then wrapped his arms around her, holding her close.

“I was afraid you wouldn’t understand or you would just pity me,” she whispered.

“Honey, there’s nothing you could tell me that I wouldn’t understand,” he said. “You’re my best friend and my sanity most days, so there’s no room for pity.”

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what I did to deserve you, but thank you,” Amber said as she hugged Zach.

“Don’t be sorry, just know that I’m always here for you no matter what you have to tell me or need.”

“Amber, can I keep him?” Jill asked.

“No, he’s mine. You can have Erik.” Amber giggled, holding on to Zach.

“Yeah, Zach seems like the bigger win,” Jill said, smiling at Erik.

“Gee, thanks,” Erik said.

“Sorry, but when was the last time you said something that sweet and meant it?”

“Way to make me look bad, man,” Erik said to Zach, who laughed.

“I go home tomorrow, man. You’ll be the sole stud in this group then,” Zach said.

“I like how you think. I feel better now.”

“Amber, I have a question, and I’m not asking to upset you or anything, but…” Jill started.

“Just ask,” Amber said.

“Well, the injuries that you sustained that night. They would have required medical attention, and there’s no way it would have gone unreported. Every hospital and clinic is required to report something of that caliber.”

“I did get medical attention that night. Dr. Conlan lived two farms down. I made it to his house, and he helped me. He’d helped me in the past.”

“Wait, you mean Kaleb Conlan?” Erik asked.

“Yeah, he had his office on the farm grounds there, and he was able to do X-rays and stitch me up. He gave me some antibiotics. I didn’t want to stay there too long in case they came looking for me. His wife drove me out of town so I could catch a train and get the hell out of here.”

“He’s the one that called the ambulance for your mom,” Erik said.

“He must have gone over there after they dropped me off. I know if he had gone before, he would have told me she was hurt, and I never would have left.”

“They moved away not long after that,” Jill said.

“What do you say we clean up and watch a movie?” Heather suggested, noticing how quiet and uncomfortable Nicole was getting.

“That sounds good,” Nicole said, not making eye contact with anyone.

Nicole grabbed one of the trays and put the empty containers on it and then she headed into the kitchen. Amber followed her, waving at the others to stay.

“You okay?”

“Me? Yeah, I’m fine.” Nicole avoided looking at Amber.

“Sweetie, this is me. Ten years apart or not, I know you well enough to know you aren’t okay or fine.”

“You could have died. At least with you living elsewhere, I knew you were around, somewhere. Had you died, I don’t know how I would have gone on,” Nicole said, a tear rolling down her face as Amber pulled her into a hug.

“Oh, sweetie. I didn’t die, and I’m here with you now,” Amber said in a hushed voice.

They held each other for a couple of minutes and then after composing themselves, they joined the others. Heather had already put in Wreck-It Ralph by the time Nicole and Amber got back.

They sat on the couch; Amber curled up against Nicole, who put her arm around Amber. As the movie continued, Amber dozed off. After the movie ended, they decided to just let her sleep, and Nicole would bring her by the hotel in the morning so they could all have breakfast together before Zach left.