A Promise From My Heart

Chapter Four

Through the drive to the restaurant, Amatullah had kept talking which I had found so cute. I glanced at her anytime I could, a sad smile on my face. If I had not gotten to the hospital on time, I can imagine the ruckus she would have created when the doctor tells her she is not pregnant.

"And tom ran after jerry. Jerry ran into the hole. Tom put his hand in the hole. His hand became long and began to search for jerry. That was ridiculous. How was that possible?" she said jumping in her seat. I smiled at her still concentrating on the road. "Stop, stop, stop the car!" she hit the air vent continuously staring outside. I pulled to the shoulder of the road confused and scared.

"What happened?" I looked at her with wide eye.

"I saw a baby shop" She said unlocking her seat belt not concentrating on me.

"Amatullah, that's why you asked me to stop like you saw something terrible happening" I said getting angry a little bit.

"Sorry, I saw something I like. Let's go please" she pouted her lips. I sighed switching off the ignition reluctantly.

We walked into the baby shop where she picked a shopping trolley and I followed her slowly. She picked a pink dress for a baby girl.

"Oh this is so cute" she cooed "This dress will look so good on our baby if it's a girl" she lifted the dress in the air to check it out.

"Amatullah, just forget this" I collected the dress from her and placed it back in it place.

"No" she picked the dress back. "You are not stopping me from buying anything for our baby. I wonder why you don't like anything that has to do about our baby. That was how you said you wanted to pack up our baby's stuff and give them away" she said and walked away from me.

I felt helpless She sauntered towards the toy section. She picked a teddy bear, dolls and some other toys. I said nothing and allowed her to do what she wanted. She then walked to the clothes section. My eyes caught a baby's crib which made my heart drop.

Unwanted memories came back. It hurts a lot to lose our pregnancy months ago when we were so happy about becoming parents. I was so excited to become a father. I could not wait to hold my baby. I had always followed her to the hospital throughout her first trimester. My impatient about becoming a father had changed when I heard the heartbeat of our babies. She was with twins but a terrible incident changed it all. It stole my dreams and smile. A part of me died with them. I could still see that day at the hospital when the doctor had broken the news about the miscarriage to us. I could still see Amatullah's wailing and crying. She had wanted to charge at the doctor for telling her she had lost her pregnancy. I had held her tight to my chest but she kept weeping saying her babies were still with her.

"Yusuf, are you even listening to me?" her voice brought me back to my world.

"Yes, what were you saying?" I tried to look like I was listening to her.

"I said since you like that crib then let's buy it"

"There is no need" I waved my hand in the air.

We paid for what she bought which was just a waste of money because I had no choice. She kept jumping with excitement until we got to the restaurant. After our order, we began to eat. We spoke about random stuffs and I loved her company but she could not stop talking about what she bought. I had to just follow along and pretend like I was also happy.

"Yusuf look at that book shop" she pointed at a bookshop opposite the restaurant. "Let's go" she got up without listening to what I want to say.

I followed her immediately but before I could stop her, she has already crossed the road. I paid for our unfinished food and went to meet her in the bookshop. The bookshop was really big. It buzzed with people searching for books so sighting her was really hard. Finally, I found her checking a book. As I touched her shoulder, she gasped as she turned back.

"It's you" she let out a sigh of relief.

"Which book do you want to buy?"

"This" she pointed at the book for pregnant women she was holding.

"You are not buying that" I collected the book and placed it back in the shelf.

"Why?" anger flashed in her eyes.

"Because I said so" I gave her a stern look.

"I really do not understand you for the past few days. Anything that has to do with me being pregnant or about our baby, you are always against it or you say nothing. Why?" she shouted attracting few people attention.

"I can't answer that" I knew where the conversation was going.

"Just answer me" She shouted.

I pressed my temples and looked away refusing to speak which made her angrier. Her chest kept rising and falling. She gave me a murderous look before walking out on me.