A Promise From My Heart

Chapter Five

Our drive home was quiet. Amatullah said nothing to me. She just stared outside at the road as if whatever was happening outside was more interesting than me in the car. I never liked the ignorance. It hurts like a dagger in my chest. Whenever I called her name, what I got was silence. When we got home, she got down from the car venting her anger on the door as she closed it. I ran after her.

"Amy!" I ran after her but she walked faster. "Amy!" I called after her.

She barged into the house and ran upstairs. No one was in the living room.

"Amatullah" I shouted her name.

"What?" she barked turning around furiously when we entered the room.

"I am sorry" I panted.

"I just asked you a simple question Yusuf" she said, her breathing deep "Why are you always ignoring everything that has to do with our baby?" she screamed, her eyes burning with fury.

"I can't answer that but I am sorry if I annoyed you" I said sincerely.

"If you can't give me an answer then just forget it" she wanted to walk out on me but this time I grabbed her by the arm then turned her around. "Leave me alone" she shot me a murderous glare. "If you can't tell me then just forget it" she fumed.

I hated it when she ignores me. It hurts me a lot then angers me.

"It is because you are not pregnant Amy!" I shouted feeling so frustrated but at the same time, I regretted ever letting those words slip my tongue.

She stared at me not surprise or angry. She just had a blank look on her pretty face. The next thing I received was a sounding slap on my face. That slap had hurt me.

"You are crazy. Hmm, I said you have gone mad!" she screams, tears sliding down her cheeks. I just stared at her doing or saying nothing. I just touched the wrong spot. "How can you say that?" this time everybody was already in our room except father who was still at work, all of them expecting me to do something.

"I am sorry" I moved closer to her but she moved back. "Amy, I am really sorry" I held her by her shoulders.

"Don't touch me!" she pushed my hands away and backed away as if I was a plague. "Grandma, listen to him" she walked to my grandmother. "Listen to the crazy thing he said" she cried, pointing a finger at me obviously shaken by what she just heard. Sudden gush of tears filled my eyes.

"Amatullah" My grandmother called, her voice shaking. Amatullah walked up to Raihan.

"Raihan, listen to him. I said listen to your brother!" Raihan looked away sadly. "Why isn't anybody saying anything" she screamed turning to look at me.

"It's okay Amy" I held her but she pushed my hand away again but this time I staggered back. Noor left the room without a word.

"You have gone mad! My baby is right inside me! What are you saying? I am pregnant!" she screamed knocking off the lamp on the nightstand. "I am pregnant" she screamed louder.

"Raihan, get her medication" I told him but he stood not able to move. "I said get her drugs. Why you still dey stand there?" I shouted.

Everything does not just feel right. I felt so frustrated than ever. Few minutes later, Raihan came back with the medicine box.

"Amatullah, please come to the bed" I said, my heart thumping. She looked at me taking a step back as if I was going to hurt her, her breathing irregular, sweat glistened on her forehead. "Trust me Amy. I won't hurt you. You are pregnant"

"I am?" she asked, her eyes gazing at me.

"Yes you are. Please come and sit down" I begged moving closer. She has hesitated, her eyes holding doubt but she sat down.

I sat beside her, opened the box and brought out an injection filled with some liquid I don't know.

"I am not taking that" She got up from the bed pushing me back.

"Please take it" I begged.

"No I am not taking that" she pointed a warning finger at me with fear filled eyes.

"Please take it. It is not painful. I am right here with you" she just stood staring at me. I moved closer to her, my heart racing. "Please" I begged my eyes filled with honesty "Come lie down" I prayed silently that she agrees.

"Okay, I am collecting it just because you said it is not painful" She walked timidly to the bed.

I laid her down as everybody watched quietly. Few seconds after I had injected her, she fell asleep making everybody let out a sigh of relief. The injection makes her fall asleep giving her enough rest to relax her brain. I looked at her petite body. She looks so peaceful. I stared at her only Allah knows how long.

I wanted my Amatullah back. I have missed her so much. I wanted the Amatullah who gave the house laughter. I wanted the Amatullah who was my joy and not the Amatullah who became my weakness and pain. I stroke her soft cheeks gently. When I looked up, I noticed no one was in the room. I closed the room door then walked back to the bed. I removed her hijab letting her hair out. She stirred in her sleep then relaxed back. I pulled the covers over her and switched on the air conditioner. Glancing at her once again, I proceeded to change my clothes.

I changed into sweatpants and a vest. When I took a look at the wall clock it was time for Asr. After my Asr prayer, I went to the kitchen to get something to eat. The house was awfully quiet. It felt as if no one was at home when everybody had locked themselves behind their rooms' door to hide their grief. I went back to the room and began to do some paper work. As I was about to work and eat the same time, my phone caught my eyes. I remembered I had to call my oga. I had left work without informing him. I dialled his number. After a few rings, he picked up.

"Hello Sir" My oga, Mr Okoye, was a Christian but a nice and good man with principles.

"How are you, Yusuf?" My eyes widened a bit. I was expecting him to be angry but he sounded so calm.

"Fine sir. Sir, I am very sorry for leaving work without telling you. Actually my wife ........" I trailed off as I glanced at her on the bed.

"I understand Yusuf. You do not have to worry" He said.

"I am really grateful sir. Thank you sir" I said and hung up. I sighed.

My oga knew about Amatullah's health because during the first few months of her illness I had to take leave from work. I buried my head in my hands letting out a heavy sigh. Tears filled my eyes. I wanted to let out the emotions inside me through my eyes but the blaring sound of Amatullah's phone caught my attention. The song Barbie girl filled the room. So childish. I almost laughed looking at the flashing screen. My monkey bro was written on it. With a sad smile, I picked it up

"Hello Lioness" Her brother's cheerful masculine voice boomed from the other end of the phone.

"Assalamu alaykum Abdulqayyum" I greeted him.

"Oh, Walaikum salam brother. How are you?"

"Alhamdulillah, I am fine"

"Where is my lioness?" He asked. I laughed.

Amatullah and her brother were very close but fight a lot. She calls him monkey and he calls her lioness. Abdulqayyum and I used to be course mates in the university. We were not really close but we were friends. It was on our convocation when he had introduced me to his family that I saw Amatullah. Should I call it love at first sight? I actually thought that happens only in stories and movies and not real life. I could not call it love. I had felt some kind of pull towards her. She was actually having an argument with someone which I ended up knowing was her cousin brother and at that moment, I found her amazing.

"She is asleep" I walked into the balcony. The hot air and scorching sun of April welcomed me. "She actually started again today"

"Why?" Worry laced his voice.

"I told her she was not pregnant and the bomb exploded" I laughed a sad laugh and leaned on the baluster.

"Why do you have to tell her that?" His voice became cold.

I explained everything to him but before I could finish talking, the grief I had held inside had spilt from my eyes. "When are you going to see her doctor" he asked when I finished.

"Next week Saturday In Sha Allah" I answered wiping my tears.

"We all know what you are passing through and you are trying your best for her. No one is happy with her condition. Mummy thinks her problem has to do with the brain so Amatullah needs to be taken where we might get better doctors to treat her but I told her that is not the solution. Amatullah is in denial and she needs good psychological attention which we can get for her"

"You are right but what should we do?"

"Nothing, we do not have anything to do. We just have Allah and He will surely make things better. Just be patient bro. Please take heart and be strong just for her"

"Thanks so much. You do not know how that makes me better" I smiled.

"How is the weather there?" I asked.

Abdul Qayyum does not stay in Nigeria. He lives in USA.

"So cold" He answered in a singsong tone. "I need to go" before I could answer the line got disconnected.