Hiraeth

Chapter Sixteen

I free my mind from the revelations I have known today. Of how many times I've thought of it, the end is all the same. My father chooses this world over his family. He likes adventure, so it is easy for him to leave his wife and daughter. His wife even traveled almost around the world to search for him. It's a shame that the one my mother has been searching for planned to go back to this new world. My mother takes all the consequences my father did. If he's listened to my mother, this won't happen. We are still one big happy family.

If I ever find Wade here and go back to our world, I don't know what to say to my mother. Her condition might worsen when she learns the person she loves is not returning. He's resting at the place we haven't been to yet. Or she might recover. When she finally accepts that my father is gone, she'll go back to normal.

But she can't even accept he wouldn't see my father anymore, and it's impossible to find someone in the mysterious ocean. How much more is this? She'll probably lash out! I don't think I can handle that. Our last meeting didn't even start well. There I found out that she's not the sweet mother I once knew. She drastically changed. Both physically and mentally.

And then here I am thinking about how I will tell my mother about this bad news. I should think of searching for Wade if he survives and successfully enters this place because, like what Captain Arkean has said, only my father has survived. Also, I need to contemplate this problem because, for f*cking sake! Even if I do find Wade, we still need to kill someone from this world at the lunar eclipse appearance to leave. I don't know what b*llsh*t was that, but I think Captain Arkean won't lie about it. He knows so we'll because maybe he has seen it in his own eyes the way his father killed my father, and then his father vanished entirely in this world. There's no point in lying about the exit. And I don't think he'll joke about it because he seems not the type of person who can throw jokes. He's serious about it. That's why my anxiety is growing.

F*ck! I can't even dare to hurt an animal. How much more to kill a person? No! There's no f*cking way I'll do that, and for sure, Wade won't also. My friend disagrees with violence. We'll probably end up here for the rest of our lives. Yes! I can feel it.

I look around in my cabin because as much as I'm exhausted, I can't seem to fall asleep. My mind is so active, that's why. The place is still the same when I've left except for a perhaps a few centimeters long and tall box on the table. A paper bag beside it makes me hurry to get up on my bed so I can take a look at it.

My eyes widen as I see that it's the same as the paper bag that I've had. Though maybe the inside is not the same. But to make sure, I open it, and when I finally see what's inside of it, I hug it.

It's mine! Omg! My old clothes and the dress that I've bought.

I don't know how the hell they get this, but anyway, I'm thankful to whoever did this. I will ask Captain Arkean later to thank that person personally. It means a lot to me. My old clothes are the only possession I have left since the cheap watch is now on that strange man.

I guess it's indeed better to stay on this ship because there's only one group of people here that I can observe. I also know the pirates' way of living because I have read stories about them. It will not be as unfamiliar as to when I stay at Port Royal. Port Royal has a lot of people, and there will be others that will anchor there. There wouldn't be someone who can change appearance in this ship and someone who has obsessions of buying things.

A part of me also believes Captain Arkean said that most pirates here pity me. That's why I'm back. So, that only means that even if their line of work may include violence and they are rude on the outside, they still have basic humanity. Someone even got the clothes I own because maybe in his mind, I need them. The thought of it somehow lessens my anxiety.

I'll be good here. I'll work hard just like what they're doing and won't be a liability in exchange for Captain Arkean helping me find Wade and guarantee my safety. Of course, I also need to stay low-key. I won't let other pirates know my secrets. I'll also keep my eyes on Storm to stop him if he shares it with others. He seems not talkative, though. But I still need to be careful because who knows?

I put back the paper bag on the table and examined the box next. It has a red ribbon and a card on it. I reach for it so I can read it.

“Welcome, Aboard!” it says.

My brows furrow. I'm a bit shocked. I don't expect pirates to do such a thing. What did I do to make them do this? Sure it's not just about their pity on me. Something is going on here.

My hands are shaking as I untie the ribbon. Maybe it's human instinct to think that something terrible will happen. And indeed, when a long, yellow snake came into view. It stares at me, and I stare back. I can't seem to move my feet. My mind says I need to run, but I stay frozen in front of it.

F*ck this! My intuition is not wrong. Something is going on here. The pirates are not kind! They have planned this! They won't just let me live my life peacefully here, and I can now feel that this is only the start.

Because I can't move my feet when I need it the most in this situation, I shout instead. The snake that has been staring at me hisses. I can see its tiny tongue. It's also slowly moving out from the box.

My shout gets loud though I still can't will myself to move and avoid the danger. I'm staring eye to eye with a venomous snake. For sure, everyone's reaction is the same. Or maybe not.

“Hey!”

Even if I hear someone shout, I still can't move. The snake is halfway closer to my hands. I shiver, yet I can only do it to stare.

A hand grabs me, thus making me abruptly turn around and hit his chest. When I look up, Death is towering over me. He's still holding my left arm, eyes on the snake and to me.

“It's not venomous,” he says as he lets go of me and makes the snake crawl on his arms up to his neck.

“F*ck you!” I curse. The hiss of the snake becomes loud. And the jerk just laughs at me.

“It's the pirates' present.”

“I don't care! I don't want that present!”

To be honest, no one in his right mind would be excited about getting a snake as a gift. Hell! I'll appreciate it more if they'll just leave me alone. I don't need anything from them. Let alone snake!

“It's hard to find this, North Star.”

I glare at him, trying my very best not to lay my eyes on the snake because I might not move again.

“So what?” I ask. “Should I say thank you for finding that rare snake?”

“Hmm. . .” He nods.

My jaw hung open. “Are you serious?”

And here I think that maybe I'll be much safer inside this place than Port Royal. On my first time here, they plan to kill me. Then when they voted for me to come back, they gave me a snake that almost caused me a heart attack. I feel I won't find the peace I've always wanted on this ship. They'll bring me more trouble.

“Look,” Death says as he gets closer to me. I step back, so he stops. “It's cute.”

“Dude, it's ugly!” I say.

“And listen,” he ignores me. “It can bark.”

As if on cue, the snake barks like a dog! Like a natural f*cking dog!

I'm going to faint!

No.

I'm going to Captain Arkean.

And that's what I do. I rush out of my room. Death with the snake on his neck, following me. When I reach the open space, I see Captain Arkean around the pirates, having a serious and heated discussion. However, it didn't stop me from running towards him. I hit some pirates as I squeezed between them, saying sorry under my breath.

“Captain! Captain!” I pant as I get closer to Captain Arkean. “These pirates!” I point the pirates in one slide. “They gifted me a snake!”

“Ms. Polaris,” Captain Arkean starts. “We have an important discussion here.”

For a moment, I felt ashamed. Maybe it's not best to interrupt them even if mine is also important.

“Sorry,” I apologize and even give a slight bow. “But . . .”

When I look at Death, he shakes his head. So I sit in the barrel beside Captain Arkean, pouting.

“Why ye not leave?” someone from the crowd says.

“Shut up,” I say without looking at him. My voice is low that they'll just see my mouth opening but not hear it. “You're grammatically incorrect.”

Captain Arkean clears his throat.

F*ck! I just did it again. They'll think I'm rude. So, I quickly stand up and bow at them at a 90° angle. “Sorry!”

“Ye can stay,” Captain Arkean says as I am about to leave. “Yer one of the crew. Our cook.”

My face lights up. “Thanks!”

So, I stand in front of Captain Arkean and squeeze between two pirates. They grunt that is more like a growl. For a moment, I forget the snake. Well, it does not deserve my attention. It'll just make me shudder.

“Meeting adjourned,” Captain Arkean says before he taps my shoulder and leaves all of us. A small smile is visible on his face.

The pirates laugh at me right into my face then leave to do their job while I stay where I am. I still can't believe what happened.

I've thought they are in the middle of a discussion, so it means I can still grasp their topics, but what the f*ck happened? Captain Arkean has dismissed them already! So what's the point of telling me they have a discussion and letting me feel ashamed for interrupting? And when I'm about to leave to give them respect, Captain has said I could stay. They are messing with me! First the snake, then this!

“Ye look like ye'll kill someone,” Death says from behind.

“Yes,” I reply. “And that someone is,”—I turn around—“you—f*ck! Stay that away from me!”

He still has the snake with him crawling on his shoulder. They have already become friends.

“Okay!” he says, laughing.

He gently puts the snake on the floor, and it immediately crawls away from us. I look at Death in disbelief.

“What the f*ck did you just do?” I ask. “You let that snake crawl in here! Do you know it's dangerous? Are you crazy?”

“It can't kill ye, North Star.”

“That snake barks, Death!” I yell. “ I hear it bark like aw aw aw! No normal snake can do it! It's an abomination!”

He laughs. “That's why it's rare.”

In my world, there are also rare snakes, but not like this one. Snakes don't bark. They hiss! Dog barks!

I think I'm losing my mind here. Everything here seems so weird. I don't know what other odd things I'll find here.

“Please,” I say, meaning the words more as much as they sound. “Get that snake away from here. I can't sleep knowing it's here crawling.”

“It's hard to get it.”

“Then why the f*ck did you f*cking let it go?”

He laughs again. “Ye curse like a pirate.”

“Get it, Death, or else your name will be your fate.”

“Scary,” he mocks.

I roll my eyes. It still hasn't reached 360° when I see Storm. He's alone, looking at the ocean peacefully.

I remember he knows my secret, and I need to watch him. So, I walk closer at him, leaving Death alone. But then he follows me. I sigh.

Why is he following me?

I'm just going to pretend that he's not here. He's just trying to get my attention. Maybe even want to pick me up. I won't fall for his flirtatious act.

“Hey,” I call Storm. He seems not to care about it. I shrug and look at the ocean, just what he is doing. But in my periphery, I see Death tapping Storm's shoulder.

“We'll find out if it's true when we reach The Veiled Shore. Relax,” Death says.

I don't know what they're talking about, and I'm also curious about The Veiled Shore.

“What's The Veiled Shore?” I ask.

“The crew's family lives there,” Death answers.

“And what have you said? You'll know if it's true if we reach that—” I stop when Storm looks at me, even if it has no emotion. I'm a bit scared. “Ah, okay. Nevermind.” I wave my hand.

“Don't scare her, bro,” Death jokes.

“I'm not scared!” I deny.

The silence stretches for a long time until Death breaks it.

“Let's go, North Star,” he says, ignoring what I have said.

“Where?”

“To your work.”

Oh, f*ck!

I almost forget that my stay here isn't free. I have to do works because from now on I am part of the crew.

I still can't believe how fast the transition of my life is, but somehow, it makes the inside of my stomach move aggressively. It's always like this when I'm about to take on a challenge, and it's driving me both afraid and excited—a guilty pleasure.

“Okay then,” I say, waiting for him to lead the way. When he does, I take a few deep breaths.

Whatever happens here, I continue to hope that there's still a home somewhere for me. And maybe this is it.