Hiraeth

Chapter Nineteen

After I've talked to Reagan by writing, Death and I have left him alone. Death says I need to prepare the food for the pirates because it's now past lunch. I don't know what time it is because there's no clock or watch in here, but I believe Death when he says it.

So, Death and I walk through the kitchen to make some lunch. The kitchen is so fresh right now after I’ve cleaned every corner and thrown away those unnecessary things and rotten food.

As soon as we reach the kitchen, we start putting some slices of bread on a wooden plate. There are ten huge plates in total. I don't know how many pirates are here, but my guess is there are only twenty or thirty of them. It’ll be enough for all of us. If not, then they have to get it on their own.

Death opens the barrel with tomatoes on it while I put some of it into a box. I also prepare water and, of course, rum. It is not so good, but I guarantee that it will fill our growling stomachs.

“All done!” I bring my hands together, clapping and happy to see that I’ve done an excellent job. There is nothing wrong with giving compliments to myself. “Now, help me get it there.”

Death gets two plates of bread on it, and I also do the same. The kitchen and the upper deck are not that far, so we reach them in just a few minutes. Still, we are going extra careful so the plates won’t fall.

The pirates are now sitting on the floor. They form a big circle.

“Here,” I give the plates to the two pirates so they'll put them on the floor. “Thank you!” They look at me weirdly. Maybe they think I'm too friendly—whatever.

We head back to the kitchen. Surprisingly, some pirates follow us. Without saying words, they help me, and Death gets all the food. It's a good thing because it'll take time to get it all to the upper deck if there's only Death and I.

Getting all the food to the upper deck ends fast as I can imagine. I give a panoramic view to find Reagan. He sits a meter away from me. Without saying words, I pull Death, and we sit down next to Reagan. Next to him is his ukelele. If I get close to him, I'll ask him to play for me.

Pirates begin getting bread and passing it to the person far from it. Someone also gives Death a slice of bread which I recognize as Old Sammy. I'm about to reach for mine, but Reagan stops me. He gives me bread and a tomato. Smiling, I get it. I don't know the sign language of "thank you," so I smile instead. His face flushes which I find cute. This kid.

I begin eating while observing the pirates. They are weirdly silent. The tension and gloomy atmosphere have filled the air. I get what they are feeling right now. The news must worry them because most of them end up eating quickly and getting back to their work. When my eyes fall to Captain Arkean, I can also feel his tension. I wonder if he also has a family there. He's told me he has two sons.

When all the pirates get back to their work, I also do what's mine. I start picking up the plates one by one, but then Death pokes me. I turn to him, and he only gestures that he's going to Storm. I nod. At the same time, Reagan stays with me and helps me get the bottles and leftovers. Silently, we both get it to the kitchen.

With Reagan still following me, I get back my notebook, paper, and pencil from where we’ve left them. I scribble another note and give it to him.

What's your age?

I watch him write.

“You don't know?” I ask, then realize he won't understand it.

He's pitiful. Maybe he has no family to tell him what his age is. That also means he doesn't know when his birthday is. I didn't know that there are people who live like this. Perhaps in my world, there are also like these. It’s just unbelievable because it’s my first time to meet one.

I remember when my father wasn't around on my 11th birthday because that's the time he didn't come back. I felt so devastated that I didn't eat my mom's food for me. Even my mother did not touch her food. She stared at nothing the whole time after she sang a happy birthday song with false enthusiasm. She didn't even see me leave, didn't even hear me cry myself to sleep. But at least, my mom knew it's my birthday at that time. Whereas someone like Reagan, no one will sing him a happy birthday song or prepare him his favorite food. I wonder if he even knows a happy birthday song or has a favorite food.

It's a shame that I take almost everything for granted and always blame the world when something gets tough. People like Reagan are eye-opening for me. So many people experienced the worst. It’s not just me.

I smile at him when his face looks worried.

I scribble another note.

You look like 18 years old.

Then that will be my age. He writes.

I smile and give him a thumbs up. Starting from now, he'll be eighteen.

His face lights up.

I mess his hair, smiling at the thought that we are now friends. I now have someone that doesn't look at me with disgust or anger.

If only Reagan's in my world, it'll be possible for him to hear and speak again. My world has advanced technology that will help him. But it's 99 percent impossible. Let's leave the 1 percent for possibility because he can indeed go to my world if he finds and kills someone from my world who needs too much hard work and makes my life in line.

Even if I pity him, I must still be careful not to open up myself. If I say that he’ll be able to hear and speak in my world, he might take the opportunity and kill me. In this world, I must not trust anyone. I will trust my instincts. I still don't know him fully. Who knows behind his innocence is someone wicked?

I shake my head. Here I am again. Being judgemental.

We both lean against the railings and watch the sky. It's a sunny day. Too bright for the pirates, who are now at their lowest.

Our peaceful sightseeing is interrupted by Captain Arkean's booming order. The pirates become attentive and run to wherever place and get a rope. I don't know what's happening, but the sudden chairs are enough for me to be alarmed. I reach for Reagan's hand. We both run towards Death, who's now looking somewhere.

“What's happe—” I ask but stop mid-sentence when I see land far away. It's so tiny from this view. But what catches my attention is the ashes. It's like The Veiled Shore is on fire.

“That's the shore, right?” I ask in disbelief.

He nods. He clenches his fist on the railings.

I don't know what to do. The pirates seem to know what they are doing at times like this while here I am, paralyzed on the floor.

“Get inside yer room,” he says.

The chaos makes me anxious. I can hardly take a normal breath, but I'm part of the crew. Someone should tell me what to do.

“I want to help.”

His expression hardens when he turns to me. “Wait for Captain Arkean's order.”

I nod—my gaze fixes on the land that we're approaching. I can tell from the look of it that it's devastated. I can imagine the screams of people. The way they run for their lives and find a place as a hiding space. They'll have two things to run away from; The navy and fire. I wonder if the fire consumes the whole of The Veiled Shore or if people there have escaped.

I’ve learned how hard it is to run for my life, and knowing that some people are experiencing it right now makes my heart shatter into pieces. I don't know who they are, but I don't have to just to feel this way. I’m a human.

The Royal Navy has gone far. Why are they killing people as if they are God? Yes, I know that pirates also kill and even steal, but evil deeds shouldn't be put out with evil as well. Pirates exist because of them. If the governor does his job correctly, no one will sail the ocean with a purpose to make a living. They'll sail for fun, to have an adventure in their lifetime.

Even if I don't know the governor because I haven't met him, I can feel my growing anger towards him. A good leader won't kill people and destroy homes just because they are a pain in his ass. He's not worthy of a position that will encourage people to commit violence.

The pirates throw the ropes on the ocean, one by one, they use it to get down, following Captain Arkean's order. I'm fascinated by how fast they react in this situation.

Pirates who are still above deck pull the rope. I watch the other pirates swimming.

I don't get what Captain Arkean has said, but maybe it's something about how some pirates will swim there, and some will stay here to keep the ship safe. It's a good strategy knowing we don't know what else to expect there. The ashes might be a trap. If ever it is and we get there using this ship, we'll be a great target. And if all of us will go there, we all will be dead if it’s indeed a trap. The first batch of pirates to go there are like sacrificial lamb. The second batch also, but the first might be able to warn the latter.

“What—” I stop when Storm approaches us. Without saying anything, he gives me a dagger.

I feel like I'm in a war. Yeah, indeed. There wouldn't be someone to make me safe because each of us will try to save ourselves. That's why Storm is giving this to me.

I tie the dagger on my waist to keep it safe.

“Ye want to come?” Death asks. Without hesitation, I nod. Then he gives me a rope which I don't accept.

“I think it's much easier,” —I get myself up the railings, which Death immediately gives me support—“To just simply fall,” I say and let myself fall from the ship.

I know how to swim. I joined a swimming competition and got some medals. At first, I do it for fun, but when I'm getting a lot of praise from people I know and strangers, it becomes about social validation, which made me, later on, stop joining competitions when I realize I’m drowning in it. But up until now, my muscles have never forgotten how to swim. I never imagined I'd be using this skill in this world.

When I fall into the ocean, I let myself fall deep until I regain my posture and swim above. I'm startled when I get to the surface. Death and Storm are already here. Maybe they also do it the fastest way.

I'm feeling dizzy because of the impact, but after a few seconds, it becomes bearable.

“Ye okay?” Death asks, which I only answer with a nod.

“Is Reagan coming?” I ask. It's hard to look above because the sun is glaring above us. It hurts my eyes, so I can't tell if Reagan is still above, watching us.

“No,” Death answers. “He stays at the ship as always. Ye should, but you're stubborn.”

I only need a yes or no answer. Duh! Does he need to say the last one?

“Whatever,” I say, rolling my eyes.

No one speaks after that. We share the same understanding not to waste time and go on. Lives are waiting for us.

I take a long breath before going deep into the water.

I'm scared, to be honest. I'm going to a place that's we are uncertain if we still have something to go to or ruins will welcome us. It's also hard to tell if we are going into a trap. Who knows that someone out there is watching us on a binocular and just waiting for us to get closer, so they'll shoot us.

But even if I know my life is on edge, I'm still confident that I can help. I will do things as much as I can.

We swim on and on. We take small stops to catch our breath and then swim again. The tiny land becomes enormous as we get nearer. The ashes are also noticeable. There aren't navy ships there. The Veiled Shore seems like a haunted place for me. It's so quiet. There's no sign of life.

Are we late?