Just Friends With An Enemy

Ugly Secretaries Do Best

“Why does it have to be me? There’s too many faces there”, he replied, over the phone, on his way to the new office.

“Are you going to the office, now?”, a voice asked, on the other side.

“Yes. It’s mine already, right?”

“Whatever! I’m sure it’s still being prepared, Derek”, the man said. “Just go. Your mom is not around to do it and someone has to go there. You should get something for Emma. It’s her birthday”

“Oh! It’s Emma’s birthday. I’m so excited to go there now”, Derek replied, frowning. “I will fill in for you, only because of the meeting, Dad. Just remember you owe me one”

“That’s my boy. You can call me when you get there. Gotta g- “

“Wait! What should I get for Emma?”, Derek asked. “For the birthday”

“This kids just want sweet things to eat. She likes cream pies”

“Uhn? Creamp-“

“You know what I mean, you i***t! Just get her that… and extend my regards”

Derek was never going to go there on his own. If there was one thing he hated, it was excessive undemanded attention. Whenever he visited his uncle, there was always a neighbor or more staring at him like he had killed a person in his car. It was more than attention; more like a threat ‘get out of here or I’ll make your life miserable'. Although, Derek had a physique that commanded attention, usually from the girls. He was rich enough to get whatever he wanted and he looked as satisfied as a billionaire playboy could look. He was pretty good at flirting but every dirty chat always ended with the chat. It never went further ‘cause he never lets it go further… he’s not gay, though.

“Boss? There’s a total of seven applicants for the role”, a lady said, as Derek turned back. “The office is also ready”.

“Thank you, Lillian”, Derek replied. “It’s break. I think you should go home… Contact the first three applicants for an interview. They should be here, tomorrow morning”.

Derek walked into the elevator, heading out of the company. Lillian sat back and continued working on her computer. “There’s no application time”, Lillian muttered to herself. “I’ll just pick the sweetest names on the list”.

She looked down on the list she had made, ticking the ones to pick for the interview. “Michelle sounds like my grandma… ugly name”

★

He parked his car and walked out, slowly, looking around carefully, as if trying to avoid the eyes of the neighbors. No one seemed to be out there. He sighed and kept walking. His phone beeped in his pocket. His father had sent a message, reminding him to get the gifts. Luckily, he didn’t forget. He was just about to walk into the house when an old man showed up in the neighboring house. He just stood by the fence, looking at Derek. Derek stood and looked back at the man. The man frowned. Derek frowned back. The man glared, like he would jump over the fence and chase him with a stick. Derek glared back.

“Derek? What are you doing?”, a voice startled him. It was his uncle.

“Uncle Jack. Good afternoon”, he greeted, smiling. “I was just looking at the, uhm-“

The old man was no longer there. “Hm. Really. ‘Cause I’m pretty sure I saw your eyes glaring like you had seen a ghost. Come on in”

Derek followed the man in the house. A young girl ran and hugged him, tightly. “Derek!”

“Hey, Emily”, Derek greeted her, rubbing her head. “You’ve grown so big since the last time I saw you”

“Yea, a very long time”, she replied. “About thirty years ago. And my name is not Emily. It’s Emma”

“Not Emily? Then, why are you called Emma?”

“Emma is short for Emmanuelle”, she said, feigning anger. “You can be a jerk, at times”

“Oh, ok. Would a jerk get you your favorite food for your birthday?”, Derek said, dangling the bad in his hand. He had brought three different recommended gifts. “A cream pie”

“Who told you I liked cream pies?”, Emma asked, indifferently. “Whatever! I’ll take it”

“I was just kidding. I got you a cake with the vanilla cream”, Derek said, again. His father had given him a wrong information. “I’m sure that’s your best”.

“Wow! How did you know? ‘Cause it’s not my best!”, she said, smiling. “But I’ll take it anyway”

“You won’t take it anyway. I brought you GUACAMOLE!”, he said, loudly, like he finally hit the jackpot. His mother had recommended it. “You can’t tell me that’s not your best ‘cause I’m pretty sure-“

“It is, Uncle Derek. Thank you”, she said and hugged him again. “But honestly, did you get me all three?”

“Yea. How did you know?”

“Because you can’t tell me that bag is filled with guacamole”, she said. “You don’t know my best and none of the three is my best. Sorry about that”.

“So what the heck is your best?”, Derek asked. “I got recommendations from three different sources. My dad told me to get a cream pie. My mom told me to bring guacamole. Your dad chose the cake. Who doesn’t love Cake?!”

“I prefer garden eggs and I eat it once in a century”, she replied, innocently. “But I love the gifts and I’m grateful for it”.

“Well, that’s not weird at all”, Derek replied and handed the bag over to her. “Considering the fact that nobody doesn’t love Cake and nobody likes garden eggs, you are perfectly normal”

There was a knock on the door. Uncle Jack was in the kitchen. Derek walked to the door and opened it. “Hello”.

It was a pretty cute lady. She was exactly the type Derek admired. “Good day. Is Uncle Jack in? I brought a present for Emily”

“Yea. Yea, Uncle Jack is in”, Derek replied. “But her name is really not Emily”

“Really? I thought that’s why she’s called Emma. You know, short for Emily”

“Actually, it’s Emmanuelle”, Derek replied. “The female Jesus”

“Hm”, she smiled. “Will you help me give this to her?”

“Will you just come in and say happy birthday to her?”, Derek suggested. “She’ll appreciate that, a little more”

“And you are going to ask for my name and I will not give it to you”

“Wow! You read minds”, Derek said and chuckled, as he collected the present from her. He shook the box. “Did you put garden eggs in this?”

“That’s a pretty nice guess… and i am still standing here”, she replied and Derek let her in the house.

“I still wonder how she likes garden eggs, at all. I mean, who likes garden eggs?”

“I do”, she replied. “It’s my favorite, actually”.

“Slap me five, baby”, Emma said, and her palms met with the strange lady’s.

“I am not dead and you are already bringing your girlfriends to my house?”, Uncle Jack teased, as he walked out with a tray.

“What?! She came asking of y-“

“I know her. I was just pulling your legs”, Uncle Jack said. “Thanks for visiting, Leah”

“Yes, we are grateful, Leah”, Derek said, smiling victoriously.

Leah wore a defeated smile and nudged him. “I’ll have to take my leave, now, Uncle Jack”, she said, standing up.

“You won’t join us for the feast?”

“No. I need to get somewhere”, she said, walking towards the door. “Thank you for accepting me”

Derek stoop up to walk her to the door. “No. Thanks to you for giving me your name”.

She left and Derek walked back to his seat. Uncle Jack stared at him, like he was sure Derek was up to something. “I really can tell when you try to tease the girls again. You should get a real relationship”

“Is she up for grabs? I think she’s definitely my type”, Derek replied.

“Well she IS up for grabs… for anyone but you”, Uncle Jack said. “Let’s begin the feast before it-“

“Why isn’t she up for grabs for me?”, Derek asked.

“Because Leah has had too many heartbreaks and you don’t break hearts, you shred hearts”, Uncle Jack said. “Reminds me of one shredding machine I used to have. I once regretted shedding some things because they could never be fixed. Except some divine creature comes to undo it.”

“What if I was going to change and be a better person? How would you know?”

“If you want to test how much you’ve changed, she’s not going to be the lab rat”, Uncle Jack said. “Something about you is you rarely get into relationships but when you do, you f**k things up. I advise that you get a wife and be responsible but I don’t trust you enough to let you take Leah. She’s done a lot for Emmanuelle”

“Ok. Whatever! Let’s eat”, Derek replied. “I didn’t want to come here, you know… but I’m glad I did. Now, I’ll probably change for the better. If my mom was around, I wouldn’t be here”

“You really should show up, more often. How nice would it be to bring a girlfriend, next time?”

“I am getting a new office, soon. I’m also getting my own secretary so I think that answers the question”

“You want to date your secretary?’

“Yea”, Derek replied, indifferently. “Everybody does that, right?”

“No. Not everybody does that”, Uncle Jack replied and sighed. “If you want to pick a wife, elsewhere, how do you stop your affair with the secretary? You’ll fire her or what?”

“I don’t know. Maybe”

“You’ve never really listened to me but I’ll give an advice. It’s up to you to take it”, Uncle Jack said. “Pick an old ugly secretary and avoid temptations.”

“Ok. I’ll consider that”, Derek said. “My mom is really not planning to get back. Is she?”

“You want her to replace you here?”

Derek laughed. “Come on. She’s my mom. I have to care about her too”

“Well, I have no idea what your mom’s plan is”, Uncle Jack said. “Come to think of it. The last time we talked, she asked me to tell you to check on Marco. I don’t know the full story behind his conviction but I know you both were friends and you should check up on him”

“We were friends but he was wrong”, Derek replied. “He was selfish. He was going to bring down the company. He betrayed the organization, despite the high position he had been placed in. My father ordered me never to visit him… I am going to be in the same high position and I have to be trusted not to betray the organization. I don’t want them doubting my loyalty”

“How strong was your friendship with Marco?”

“How do you mean?”

“I mean, did you really care about him?”, Uncle Jack asked. “I am pretty sure you don’t know the story. You were told. My question is, did you ask for his side of the story?”

“I feel so uncomfortable, right now”, Derek replied. “How am I supposed to explain to my father when I go to him?”

“Who says you have to explain to your father? Who says he has to know about it?”, Uncle Jack said, leaned closer and whispered. “If he finds out, your mother is enough excuse… Before he finds out, your loyalty already proves you can be trusted”.

“Ok… I’ll go to him”, Derek said. “I don’t know when but I will go”

“I hope it’s soon. The truth may be fat from what you were told”, Uncle Jack said. “Extend my regards to my brother”

“I always forget to do that… He asked me to extend his greetings to you too”

★

“My name is Taylor Zane”, the lady said. She was cute, definitely not his type though. He took his time to admire the applicants but he really kept his uncle’s advice in mind.

“Ok. That’s, uhm, a pretty nice name”, Derek asked. “How long have you worked as a secretary?”

“Two years. My boss resigned, recently”, Taylor replied.

“Okay, Miss or Mrs Zane. You can leave now. We’ll get back to you in a week”, Derek said and the lady stood up.

“Thank you, sir”, she said, as she walked out of the office.

Shortly after Taylor left the office, another lady walked in. She looked older and less attractive. He didn’t need to begin the interview to make his choice. He had picked her in his mind. “What’s your name?”

“My name is Amy Paulsen”, she replied.

“You chose to apply here. Is there a special reason?”

“Nothing is more special than a nice payment, sir. I have worked as a secretary for a while and I enjoy being the one to kick a*s for my boss. Trust me to get a deserved raise in three months”

“Hmm. That sounds like a challenge”, Derek said and smiled. “Are you challenging me, Miss Paulsen?”

“It’s Mrs Paulsen… and it’s not a challenge. It’d be a knockout”

“As much as I love short answers, your response has been the best so far”

“I would be saying thank you but you have no choice”, Amy teased. “You won’t find anyone better”

“That’s cocky enough for this job. I think you know my answer, already”

“You’ll get back to me in a week?”, Amy asked, as she stood up. It was obvious that the interview was over.

“I will get back to you in ten minutes”, Derek replied. “Wait out there with the receptionist”

Amy smiled and walked out of the office. ‘That does it, I guess’, he thought.

“I’m not falling for her, right now, am I?”, he muttered to himself. The door opened and another young lady walked in.

“You can have your seat”, Derek said. His mind was already crying ‘No!!!’. She was too cute for him if his plan was to resist temptations. “Introduce yourself”

“My name is Neville Smokes. I am-“

“You smoke?”, Derek teased, looking as stern as possible.

“No. It’s my name. Neville Smokes”

“You got a middle name or something?”

“Yes. Joy”, she said and sighed. “My name is Joy Smokes- sorry!. My name is Neville Joy”

“That’s enough. I was just pulling your legs”, Derek said, smiling. “How long have you been working as a secretary?”

“Two years and a few months. I had to leave my boss when the company closed down”, Neville replied.

“Ok. That’s pretty ok. Why did you apply to work here?”

“If anyone would be honest, the reason you apply for a job is because you need a job. I am a secretary and this job is what I do. You won’t regret hiring me and the only way you can be sure of my competence is to employ me and watch me do my job”

“I love that answer”, Derek said, staring into her eyes. He wasn’t going to give her the job and nothing could convince him to do so… but he liked her response and he didn’t want her to go. “Why should I pick you?”.

“Because you can’t find anyone better for the job”, Neville said. “When you give me the job, the question will be ‘Why didn’t I employ Neville Smokes a long time ago?’ and there will never be a reason to doubt me”

“Sounds like you are using Smokes again”

“I’m on fire. No one ignores the smoke”

Derek chuckled. “Wow! I like you!”, he said, smiling, but changed his expression quickly. “But you are getting in my head”.

“Looks like you want a secretary whom you will be less attracted to but trust me I can wear baggies and an hijab, everyday”

“You really would make a good secretary but I can’t accept you”

Neville’s smile faded quickly. “Why?”

“But I’ll help you”, Derek said and watched her exhale hardly. “I’ll give you a letter of recommendation with my signature on it. That way, you can get a job at virtually any form without breaking a sweat.”

Neville forced a smile and nodded. “Thank you, sir”, she said and stood up. “I’m very grateful”

“You are welcome”, Derek said. “Tell the woman out there to come back in. I have a similar news for her”

Neville nodded and walked out of the office. Amy walked back into the office.

“Guess what the news is”, Derek said.

“I am starting tomorrow?”

“No”, Derek said. “The girl that walked out, now, was amazing. Trust me, her skills blow yours out of the water”.

“Oh really”, she said and folded her arms. “And there is a but”

“There is no but”, Derek said, sharply. There was a ‘but’ but she had guessed right. He didn’t want her to be right.

“You’ll have to say what the ‘but’ is while we have the time. Secretaries work with time”.

“Ok… There is a ‘but’, though”, Derek said. “What do you think it is?”

“I resume work, next week”, Amy replied and opened the door, about to walk out.

“You didn’t even wait for a confirmation”

“I don’t need one”

★

“You are here, Mr. Biden”, the priest said, walking over to Derek. “It’s been a long while”

“I know, Priest. I’ve been a bit far from the church… from your God”

“You never cease to amuse me, Derek”, the priest said. “It’s hard to believe that you don’t believe in God, yet you show up here for any reason at all”.

Derek sat down. “I feel a bit messed up, lately”, he replied. “I don’t know about God. I just don’t get the idea. There’s no proof, nothing to show”

“Why are you here, Derek?”

“I want to know if I’m doing the right thing”, Derek said. “I may believe your God is an illusion but I see morals in your act. I see the principles. I don’t think I have those morals so I want to know if I will not regret what I am stepping into”

“Do you think you’ll regret what you are stepping into?”

“I don’t know what I think, right now”

The priest sat beside him. “Your life is about you; not about your parents or anyone”, the priest said. “You should also know that what these people think and what they believe may also be about you. In other words, their opinions may matter, at times…. Jesus, in his mission on Earth, preached that we should live for others. Paul walked in his footsteps and, at the end, they were glorified. Tell me the story, will you?”

“There is an organization I have been invited to join. A friend of mine used to be one of them but something happened and he got jailed. He allegedly betrayed the trust of the organization. My father has f*******n me from going to see him, ever… My mother wants me to check on him in prison. Not only am I confused of what to do, the whole thing feels so strange”.

“What exactly feels strange?”

“The organization. Whatever power it comes with, I don’t know if I’m ready for it”, Derek replied.

“If it feels strange and you’re not ready, do you have to let it go on?”

“My father has signed me up. There is no turning back for me”

The priest sighed. “You don’t know the truth and you want to know the truth. Is that it?”

“That’s probably part of it. I need to know everything”

“Then, know the ones you can know… from the sources you know”

“I should check on him?”, Derek asked. He was planning on checking Marco but he had doubts if the visit would be necessary or useful. He had doubts if his father wouldn’t figure it out and remove him from the group. He wanted to be a part of the group but he didn’t believe the group was all it claimed to be. He also wanted a spouse, though, but that wasn’t part of his worries at the moment. He felt he was wasting his time. Truly, money doesn’t guarantee peace and happiness.

“You want me to say it? I think you should”

★

He had been sitting there for a few minutes, looking around him, frequently. Marco hadn’t shown up. He also wanted to make sure no one was watching.

An officer showed up on the other side of the glass and Marco was right beside him. He had a low cut hair and some weird beards on his face.

“You have five minutes”, the officer said and walked away.

“Hey, Derek. I didn’t think you would abandon me for so long”, Marco said. “But I didn’t think you would show up, either”

“I’m sorry. How have you been?”, Derek asked. He wasn’t sure of how to start the conversation.

“I’ve been in jail, Derek”, Marco said. “I’ll be out, soon, though”.

“It’s good to hear that”, Derek replied. “I came with questions, Marco”.

“I didn’t see that coming but I hoped”, Marco said. “It’s the same message I tried to pass, right?”