Unselfish Wish

Chapter 23- Birthday Date Part Three

Fumiko prepared for bed, deciding on the white sliver of silk that always provoked Tsukiyomi the most. She let her hair down in soft waves to her bum. She moved to her window seat, bathed in moonlight and waited. She felt his energy when he appeared, and she could feel his anger. He stood in the shadows, his silver eyes glinting. Good, I'm angry too, she thought. The air crackled around them.

Downstairs, Aiko elbowed Fumio.

"Looks like someone's in trouble." She giggled.

"Yeah, I wonder what he did to make our wonderful daughter this upset." He waggled his brows. "Do you think we should go to a hotel and leave them to figure things out?" She lightly smacked his arm.

"You're so naughty. What happened to not giving anyone your precious daughter, hmm?" She said slyly.

"He asked to marry her and she said yes. You know, no matter how angry she is, she will never choose another. I also doubt he plans on doing anything outside of tradition with his bride. Come, wife, let's leave them alone for now." They got up and left, giving the children their space to work things out.

Upstairs, the silent stand-off continued. Tsukiyomi was pissed for no reason. He knew it. But he just could not get past the thought that she could think of sharing herself with more than one person. He knew there were all different types of love, and he did not begrudge others that, but for him, one person was everything. She was everything.

"Hello, Tsukiyomi-no-Mikoto." She bowed deeply and waited for permission to rise. He waved a hand impatiently.

"Rise. You do not need to prostrate yourself before me. I thought I had been more obvious in my affections." He sounded petulant, even to himself. Oh, so you can dish it out, but you can't take it, is that it? She thought. She rose, waiting. "Well, sit." She sat. "What are you doing, Fumiko?"

"I told you I was in love with another and you demanded my body. My fiancee still loves me, but since I do not know if he will accept me after you collected on your ultimatum, I cannot exactly be joyful. Tell me, my beloved god, is this really all that I am to you? Was my father right?" She knew she was pushing his most sensitive buttons, and it was risky. He stared at her, his eyes like molten silver. Then a tear slipped out of his eye, leading a despondent trail to his chin.

"Do you really think I do all of these things, protect you, care for you, for such a small thing as a single night and your virtue?" He demanded. He was running on pure anger and hurt at this point. It was not his fault that several gods made fools of human women. Amaterasu had tried as much as she could to prevent such things, but they were sneaky. He was breathing hard and the air between them was alive with electricity. He grasped her upper arms and dragged her to his chest, smashing his lips on hers in a storm of anger and passion. She fought him until he released her. He knew she wasn't really fighting him, just stopping him from continuing.

"What do you want from me, Tsukiyomi? You seem offended that I doubt your sincerity. Tell me." She laughed when he remained silent, then walked in a circle around him, her finger tracing his shoulder and chest. He froze. "Tell me, Tsukiyomi, how such an ancient god can be jealous of his human self. Hmm, Kiyoshi? Tell me why you would deliver such hurt to someone that has done nothing but love you, in any form, since I met you?"

He pulled her close again, looking into her eyes.

"You know? Fumiko, how did you-?"

"What, figure it out?" She sighed. "It wasn't exactly rocket science. You could have simply told me who you really were. I still don't understand why you would try to force me to choose between your two sides. The human you isn't even real. Don't you understand how much that hurt me? How dare you do such a thing to me?" She cried, tears spilling from her eyes. He stared down at her precious face and began to laugh. She frowned and he kissed her again, not letting her get away this time, coaxing her mouth open as he devoured her. When he pulled back she seemed confused. "What-?"

"There's just no need to hide anymore and I can woo you directly. It's such a relief." He squeezed her close, stroking her hair. "I wasn't planning to hurt you, I just lost my mind at the idea that you could love anyone but me, and then I was upset that my human self wasn't enough alone. I really can't give you a good answer. I made my own problem."

"This is the only time I will forgive you. Hurt me again and I will unleash my full anger on you without mercy. I will make Amaterasu's banishment look like a vacation." She sniffed, tilting her chin up defiantly. He looked more closely at her attire and grinned.

"Was this... garment... chosen with me in mind, my darling?" He ssid seductively. Her cheeks flushed as she tossed her hair.

"Don't think so highly of yourself. It's just comfortable." She insisted, turning away from him to face the window. The light of the moon lit her face. He wrapped his arms around her from behind. She was struggling. She really wanted to stay angry, because the level of hurt had been beyond belief. She still didn't understand why he hid himself at all. He must have known that she would accept him as he was. "Tsukiyomi... why did you show yourself as a human at all? Did you not know that I would have accepted you as a god and my friend?" Her voice trembled. He hadn't trusted her. He sighed, leaning his chin on her shoulder.

"You are aware I've lived a very long time, right?" She nodded. "In that time, I've seen things go wrong between humans and gods in a variety of ways, and the last thing I wanted was for you to feel, well, subservient... from the start, you know? I liked that you spoke to me as an equal." A tear fell from her eye.

"You did not trust me, my beloved. You did not trust that despite my devotion, my feelings have long run much deeper. Do you have any idea how many times I wished that Kiyoshi was you? I may not have prayed it, but I certainly thought it. Often." He squeezed her tightly, burying his nose into her neck and kissing it gently.

"I did and do trust you, Fumiko. I just... was afraid. I didn't even understand myself then, and once the visits started, it would have been weird to just... stop, you know? You would have been hurt." He whispered. She stiffened.

"But you hurt me the most in this strange battle for my affections!" She said indignantly. "Don't you think, had you simply said who you really were, that I would have accepted you?" She twisted out of his grasp to face him. "This behavior of yours has me wondering if my heart is really safe with you. You have it in your hands, and there is nothing I can do about it now, but I will not sit here and take it like a good girl if this is how you intend to treat me." Her hands shook, her eyes filled with tears, and suddenly a storm raged where the weather had been calm and balmy. A wave of guilt, more than he had ever felt in his long life, washed over him.

For the first time in his life, Tsukiyomi kneeled, full seiza, palms up on his knees.

"My dearest love, please forgive me for treating you with anything but the utmost respect and love that you deserve." He bowed his head, waiting. He could still hear the storm crashing against the house, and his beloved breathing harshly.

She looked down at him, wanting so much to just let it go.