Regret
1593 Words
I didn’t look back.
Not when I stormed out of Liam’s office.
Not when I rode the elevator down in silence, my reflection glaring back at me in the shiny doors like I was the villain in my own story.
And not even when I got into my car and slammed the door hard enough to shake the windows.
I just sat there and didn’t move.
My hands gripped the steering wheel like it was the only thing holding me together. My heart was racing. My chest felt tight, and my lips still tingled from his kiss.
That kiss.
Why did I let him get that close to me yet again?
Why do I always melt like butter under his touch when I know better?
I closed my eyes and leaned back against the headrest.
God. What was wrong with me?
Why did Liam Sinclair have this power over me?
It didn’t matter how many times he lied. It didn’t matter how many times he broke me. All it took was one look, one touch, one whisper in my ear, and suddenly I was losing my damn mind again.
I hit the steering wheel with the heel of my palm. “Stupid. So stupid.”
And then the tears came. Quiet and slow.
Not the sobbing, dramatic kind.
Just a steady stream of hot, silent tears that slid down my cheeks while I sat there and tried to figure out how I let him get under my skin yet again.
What made it worse was that I didn’t even know if he was telling the truth.
He looked me in the eye and swore he didn’t plant that recorder. He swore on everything.
And a part of me believed him.
But another part of me… the louder, smarter part… knew Liam was perfectly capable of it.
He’d done worse.
If he thought it would give him the upper hand, he’d bug my apartment in a heartbeat.
I couldn’t let myself forget that.
When I got back home, Lopez was in the kitchen singing under her breath while making lunch. Ethan sat at the table, scribbling something over a coloring book that had too many legs to be a dog.
“Mama!” he shouted when he saw me. “I drew a lion! Want to see?”
I plastered on a smile. “Of course I do.”
He ran to me, wrapping his little arms around my legs. I scooped him up, hugged him close, and kissed the side of his head.
It was crazy how just holding him could make everything slow down a little. I felt more at peace immediately.
“How was your morning, baby?” I asked.
“We watched cartoons, then Lopez gave me cereal and strawberries!”
“Lucky boy,” I said.
Lopez glanced at me with her usual soft concern. “Everything alright, ma’am?”
I nodded too quickly. “Yeah. Just tired.” I didn't realize I was still wearing a frown.
“You want me to make you tea?”
“Yes, lease.”
I took Ethan to the couch while she went back to the kitchen.
He sat on my lap, flipping through pages of his coloring book.
Then he looked up at me. “Mama… did you and that man fight?”
I froze.
“What man?”
“The one I saw in the night. You were shouting when I woke up.”
I swallowed. “You heard that?”
How do I tell him that I was actually screaming in ecstasy?
“We weren’t fighting,” I said quickly. “We were just… talking loudly.” That was the best lie I could think of.
“Is he your boyfriend?” Ethan asked innocently, surprising me. Where was he learning all of these? I had never had a boyfriend since Ethan was born. Or even had a man over that he was aware of.
“No,” I said quickly. “He’s not.”
Ethan blinked up at me. “But he smiled at me.”
“I know, baby,” I said softly, brushing his curls back. “But smiling doesn’t mean someone is good.”
He looked confused but nodded like he understood. Maybe I shouldn’t have said that.
After lunch, I tucked him in for a nap, then went to my room and closed the door behind me.
I pulled the recorder out from my drawer and stared at it like it might suddenly start speaking.
That tiny black device had thrown my whole life off balance.
This obviously wasn’t just some prank. Someone wanted to listen in on my private life. My conversations. My time with Ethan. This screams of Liam and Victoria. Why else would anyone else want to monitor me?
And if Liam didn’t plant it… Then who did?
It had to be him.
Because when it came to Liam, nothing was ever black and white. He was a liar. A manipulator. And I’d been burned before.
Maybe he didn’t expect me to find it so soon.
Maybe he wanted to hear what I did, or who I discussed with, or maybe he wanted to hear Ethan call someone else “Daddy.”
Whatever the reason, I couldn’t let it go.
That night, I called Cathy.
“Hey,” I said the moment she picked up. “Did you tell anyone where I moved to?”
She sounded surprised. “No, of course not. What’s wrong?”
I sighed. “I found something in my apartment. A recorder. Like a voice recorder.”
“Wait—what?”
“I think Liam planted it.”
There was a pause. “Damn. How is that possible, though? Does he know where you live?"
Shit, that’s true. Cathy didn’t know I let Liam in and had s*x with him again. Or that I went to his office and we kissed.
Where do I start from?
“Well… I, he was actually here,” I said slowly.
“What! Why?” Cathy asked. “Tell me you called the cops.”
I was silent.
“Oh my God,” Cathy said as realization dawned on her. “You invited him in.”
And then another pause.
Cathy groaned. “Please tell me you didn’t sleep with him again.”
I told her everything. Cathy listened without interrupting, but I could practically feel her judgment through the phone.
“You’re hopeless,” she muttered. “I love you, but girl, you’re addicted to chaos.”
“I know,” I said, groaning as I flopped on my bed.
“I get it,” she continued, her voice softer. “He’s hot. He’s charming. He probably smells like heaven. But you know this story. You’ve lived it before. Don’t rewrite it and expect a different ending.”
“I didn’t plan to,” I said. “I really didn’t.”
There was a beat of silence.
“Okay,” she said. “Here’s what you’re gonna do. You’re not calling Liam again. You’re not giving him the satisfaction of knowing he still has so much control over you.”
“I wasn’t planning to,” I muttered, though it had crossed my mind.
“You’re gonna get your apartment swept. Properly. No messing around.”
“Swept? By whom?”
“I’ll send you a number. He’s a tech guy. Knows his stuff. Very low-key. I used him once for a client who thought her ex was spying on her through a nanny cam.”
That sent another chill through me.
“Isa,” Cathy added gently, “this isn’t just shady. It’s dangerous. You’ve got Ethan to think about.”
“I know,” I said, my voice quiet.
“Look, even if it wasn’t Liam, which, honestly, I doubt, it still means someone has been in your home.”
“I hate this.”
“I know. But you need to take this seriously.”
I nodded slowly, even though she couldn’t see me. “Alright. Send me the number.”
“Already done.”
“And Cathy?”
“Yeah?”
“Thanks.” Cathy always came through.
She paused. “Anytime. But seriously, no more letting Liam kiss you like you’re in a soap opera, or office sex.”
I laughed through my nerves. “Of course.”
The next morning, I sat at the kitchen table with my cup of tea, staring at the number Cathy sent me.
Mark Owens – TSCM Expert
I tapped my nails on the table for a few seconds. Then I picked up the phone and called.
It rang twice.
“Hello?” a deep, calm voice answered.
“Hi,” I said, clearing my throat. “Um… is this Mark?”
“Yes.”
“My name is Isabel. I was referred by Cathy… Cathy Anderson.”
“I remember her,” he said simply. “What do you need?”
I hesitated. “I found a recording device in my home. I think someone planted it.”
“Do you still have it?”
“Yes.”
“Good. Don’t touch it again. Don’t move anything else. Text me your address and I'll come by tomorrow.”
“Okay,” I said, my voice softer now. “Thank you.”
“You’re doing the right thing.”
He hung up before I could say anything else.
I stared at the phone in my hand.
Doing the right thing.
For once… I hoped that was true.
- Writer
