I Am Not Your Victim

ENDING WHAT NEVER WAS

ENDING WHAT NEVER WAS

~ Gabriel's POV ~

I was awakened to a firm knock on my bedroom door. I groaned and rolled over to check my clock it said 9:00am. Rubbing my face with both hands, my groggy vision was seeming to get clearer. There was another knock on my door. Rolling myself out of bed, I slipped on a pair of sweatpants. Taking my time, I stretched my arms and shoulder muscles while walking to my door. I unlocked it and walked away.

“It’s unlocked” I said with an unintended hatefully groggy voice. Tanner opened the door and stepped inside shutting the door behind him. I walked to my in-room kitchen and started my coffee pot. I always pre-set it, so it is ready in the mornings. Turning back to Tanner, I passed him up and went into my bathroom.

“Good morning sleeping beauty. You look like you had a good night’s rest. Where were you yesterday? I thought we were going to go for a run in the evening. Kelly said you decided to stay in your room for the rest of the day, so I didn’t bother you.” Exiting the bathroom, I stepped back into my kitchen.

“Yeah, I had some things on my mind. Mika was driving me crazy, and I just felt like I needed to have a minute to breathe.” Tanner stared at me, knowing it was something more than that. He was my best friend, and he could always see right through me.

“Would any of this have something to do with the way that you growled at me in the dining hall yesterday?” Not answering his question, I poured my coffee. I looked up and offered a cup to Tanner.

“So, you’re not answering me now. Come on Gabe, you know you can come to me with anything. You know I won't judge.” Tanner had a comical personality, but when it came right down to it, he got serious when he needed to be. I decided I wasn’t ready to talk about my attraction to Harper just yet. I am going to ignore it until I can’t anymore. If it is a simple crush, it should fade away. Normally I would smash a girl that I thought was attractive, and never look back. Not Harper, she has been through too much. There is no way I would do her like that. Something tells me she wouldn’t let herself be used like that anyway. The mere thought was causing my body to heat up, already betraying me this morning.

“I’m just overworked, I guess. I am preparing to take over as Alpha. Mother and father are pressing me harder every day to choose a Luna. Samantha is clingy more than ever. And I still must decide on what I am going to do with Preston during training. If he wasn’t such an asset on the field, I would kick him out of training and put his a$s in the kitchen.” Tanner nodded

“Preston is a good fighter, but if he can’t start treating the women better something will need to be done.” I already knew this; I know I am just prolonging the inevitable.

“I feel like the women really benefit from training with the males. It gives them a real challenge. They deserve to be treated with respect and Preston is walking a very fine line. His dirty mind has him doing all sorts of disrespectful things to our female fighters.” He has even gotten physical a couple of times when the women grow tired of his disrespectful banter and constant cat calls. When one of our girls smacked him straight in the face and gave him a bloody nose, he punched her back. I am glad I wasn’t there to see it. Tanner was in charge that day. I will be handling it though. Disrespecting a lady was something I will never stand for. My thoughts went back to our female warriors. They are decent fighters, but they need to be pushed harder. I think they lack inspiration. Samantha is well trained but not on the level I would like to see her as a head trainer. Unfortunately, she is the best we have for the women right now. My mind went back to the conversation that father and I had with Harper yesterday. I really hope she brings all her enthusiasm to the field. She is little but I can tell she has willpower that never gives up. I can’t wait to see her getting settled in. She may be exactly what we need to line the women out. Right now, our male warriors were carrying our pack. We are strong, in a fight we would be hard to beat, but we can be better. That is the thing, we had to keep getting better. From what I heard in some of the meetings with other packs, trouble could be finding its way to our border all too soon. My phone started vibrating on my bedside table. Rolling my eyes, I already know who it is. Tanner walked over and lifted my phone to read the caller ID. amusement fell on his face

“Samantha is calling you.” I breathed out a sigh and lifted my arms up placing them behind my head arching my back in a stretch. He handed my phone to me. I didn’t want to answer it, but I knew if I didn’t, she would just keep calling. If I turned my phone off, she would keep trying to mind link me. I swiped my thumb to the right of my phone screen to answer the call.

“Good morning, Sam.” Her giddy voice was a pitch higher than I could handle this morning.

“Morning baby, I missed you last night. Are we still going out today?” Walking away from Tanner to get more privacy I stepped into the hallway and shut the door. Tanner didn’t know that I had been letting Sam sleep in my room lately. I guess the pressure from my parents was getting to me. I know I need to pick a mate. I like Sam, and she is attractive. We recently started getting intimate with each other. I thought maybe I could eventually love her. After yesterday I knew loving Sam wasn’t possible. The thought of sharing my bed with her now feels so wrong. I had to get off this phone.

“Yeah, I was tired. I turned in early.” Her words came out seductive,

“Oh…baby you should have let me give you a massage. You know how good I am with my hands.” I shut my eyes tight and squeezed the bridge of my nose with the fingers of my empty hand.

“Uhm…well I have a busy day. I’ll talk to you later, ok.” her disappointment is evident.

“Ok, I’ll see you in training then I guess. I will be visiting the nail salon today. I am getting my nails done for the eclipse celebration. I am so excited, wait till you see me in my dress!” Exclaimed Samantha as I walked back into my room.

“I am not sure if we will, I have a lot of things I need to help my father take care of.” It wasn’t a complete lie. I did have things I needed to take care of, but this was me just trying to avoid her until I could figure out how I really feel. I don’t want to lead her on if our relationship isn’t going to lead to anything. Everything seemed to make sense until I met Harper yesterday. Mika never acted like that over Sam.

“Oh no… maybe I should have a word with your father. You know how much he loves me. I’ll let you go. Kelly is here to do my hair.” Before I could reply she hung up. I slid my phone into my pocket and looked up to see Tanner giving me a questioning look.

“What the hell was that!? Did I hear her say she missed you last night? Please, tell me you took my advice and kept your distance from that girl. Gabe, I thought you didn’t feel that way about her.” I cut him off mid-sentence.

“You know I have to choose a mate. Mom and dad are pressuring me every day. It all started to become too much. I still don’t have a mate.” His mouth was hanging open,

“Gabe, I thought you were waiting for love.” He said trying to be funny by giving me his best puppy dog eyes. I finished my coffee and decided I needed to get dressed for the day. Tanner stopped my train of thought

“OH… I forgot to tell you! You missed it yesterday. Sam being the bi**h she is, through thick shade at Harper.” Snapping my head in his direction, I could see an excited look on his face. How was he excited about that? Harper was our newest pack member. I want to make sure she is welcomed and comfortable.

“What the hell Tanner, you just let her? What happened? Is Harper, ok?” I was feeling my anger boiling up at the thought of Sam saying something hateful to Harper. Tanner stepped back, surprised by my reaction.

“Yeah man, she is a little firecracker that one. She is little but she doesn’t care to step up to anyone by the looks of it. I had to drag her up the stairs to keep Sam from hurting her.”

“What do you mean, did Sam try to hurt her?” I can’t wait till I see her. She knows better than to treat members that way. Especially new members, my father even mind linked everyone telling them to make Harper feel welcome. Tanner replied to my question,

“Well, no. I was afraid she would though, Harper didn’t hesitate. She took a step forward getting right in Sam’s face with her little finger about to say something when I dragged her up the stairs. Her face was so red I thought she was going to explode.” Mika came to the surface of my mind; he was hearing the conversation.

“He touched her, she’s ours! I told you he would touch her. You never listen!”

“Mika, what is with you? Stop talking about Harper as if she is our mate!”

“What if she is?” Mika asks.

“If she is then say it already! I want to know for sure to. Aren’t you supposed to be the first to know?” feeling agitated I let Mika answer.

“I don’t know for sure. I know that Harper is the closest thing to a mate that I have felt yet. Not only that, but Harper is also a hell of a lot better looking than that Samantha. We should kill her for insulting what is ours.” With that comment I pushed Mika back. I was amused by the thought of Sam almost getting put in her place.

“What did Sam say anyway? It must have been bad. You should have let Harper have her way.” I grinned at Tanner and his face had a shocked expression.

“You know how Sam is. She pretty much called Harper a rogue and labeled her a charity case. What do you mean let Harper have her way? Have you seen the size of Harper? Sam could have hurt her.” I decided not to argue with him. I still didn’t know how well Harper could handle herself on the field. I can’t be confident in her abilities until I see for myself. “You know something I don’t” said Tanner while looking at me suspiciously. I am not playing this game again with Tanner. I decided to ignore him and make my way toward my shower. “Gabe, I think I am going to invite harper to join me for a run tonight. I hate to ditch you but she’s really cute.” My eyes fell instantly black. Red hot fire rolled over my body as my anger surged to another level. Before he could even finish what, he was saying I slammed my fist so hard into his jaw I felt a pop. Tanner’s body fell to the floor from the force of my hit. Unable to stop myself I landed on top of him ready to land another blow. Tanner threw up both hands submitting to me.

“Gabe, STOP, STOP! I wasn’t being serious. I knew she had something to do with your foul mood yesterday.” Mika coming close to clawing his way to the surface to take full control

“He is lying!” Mika’s voice was blasting in my mind. Growling and teeth snapping made it hard for me to concentrate. “He meant every word of it. He has a thing for our Harper…. He… He wants to bed her!” I pushed Mika as far back into my mind as I could, but he was angry. He loved Tanner because he was like a brother to me, but when it comes to Harper it’s safe to say Mika plays no games. I backed up off Tanner and looked down at him as he was wiping blood from his lip. Feeling guilty now I reached down to help him up. It is not common for us to come to blows. I should have known he would figure me out. I glanced back toward his face. I could see that he was already healing.

“It’s ok, you don’t have to talk right now. I just had to confirm my suspicion. When you are ready, I am here though. Oh, and back to Samantha… how could you…yuck!” rolled my eyes at him. “Hey, did you hear that Harper is getting her wolf the day of the solar eclipse and summer solstice?” Tanners asked me.

“Yeah, I did actually. How big of a coincidence is that? I asked.

“You know what all the stories say. What if there is some truth behind them?” Tanner’s tone turning serious. If the stories were true, that would mean trouble. Not only that, but if harper was one of these wolves to have such power, she would be landing right in the middle of it all.

“I know what the stories say. I am not sure I believe them, but I do believe legends also developed from a real event sometime long ago.”

“Man, when the unmated male wolves in the pack hear of when Harper is going to be getting her wolf, they will all be hovering around her to see if she is their mate.” I shoved him out of my room.

“See you at training Tanner.”

I shut the door and finally made my way to my shower. I had both palms on the shower wall positioning myself to let the hot water roll from my head down my back. My reaction to Tanner was frightening to me. When He insinuated that he was interested in Harper my mind blanked. I knew Mika was going crazy, but in my blind rage I couldn’t even hear him. I am just going to have to do better to control myself until things become clearer for me. Maybe when Harper gets her wolf, she will find her mate and it may not be me. Then I will believe a witch has placed a spell on me. The way I am acting is fueled by something supernatural. Yes, Harper is extremely attractive, and I would pursue her if she hadn’t been through such a traumatic event lately. But these feelings and the intense anger toward anyone who comes near her is too strong to not be brought on by something more than a human type of attraction.

“A witch, really?” Mika’s laughter boomed in my head.

“What else would you call it then?” I ask Mika hoping for a little clarification.

“The connection that you are feeling with Harper is because of the Moon Goddess. I can say that with certainty. I am not able to tell you that it is because she is our mate. I am confused about that part myself.”

“Hopefully she gets her wolf soon. I guess we will get answers then. By the way, ease up on Tanner. You know he would never intentionally make a move on our real mate. He doesn’t know about our feelings toward Harper right now.”

“I understand.” Mika said. “I just can’t control myself. I feel so possessive of her. I hope she is our mate. She is beautiful, strong, and brave. She would make the perfect Luna.”

I took a quick shower and got dressed. I decided on some navy sweatpants and a white tight-fitting t-shirt. I liked it because it didn’t get in the way while I was training. I grabbed my gel and put small amount in my hand. I am not sure why; I would just sweat it all out during training. I rubbed my hands together smearing the gel all over then ran it through my hair tossing it in a messy kind of way. I styled my hair the same way every day. I don’t have a lot of time to be bothered with all the trouble of trying to keep my appearance neat and put together like my father. I brushed my teeth and shaved my face clean. I decided I had spent enough time on my appearance. I am going to be late to training. I ran from my room locking the door behind me. I made my way down the back hallway and through the kitchen. The staff greeted me as I passed by them and made my way into the dining hall. I quickly grabbed a plate and filled it full of clean foods. I always tried to keep my diet healthy. As I turned to find a place to sit, my gaze fell on her. My heartrate sped up as her faint sent enveloped me. She is beautiful with her long black wavy hair piled on top of her head in a messy bun. Her tan skin was highlighted by a cute peach colored gym outfit. It was tight fitting exaggerating all her curves. She was standing holding a tray of food and had stopped at a table where Tanner was already seated. Smiling at him, as he said something silly, I am sure. She must have sensed me staring at her. She turned her head and her emerald eyes met mine. Her smile widened and she waved at me with excitement. My breath caught in my chest and my heart skipped a beat. I smiled back and stepped forward heading her way. As the next alpha in line, it was my responsibility to make sure our newest members were settling in comfortably.

“So, it has nothing to do with how hot she is right? Or how you have this magnetic pull toward her? Or how she is all you can think about? Or how…sh!t, the hag is here.” Mika said disappearing back into my mind. Just then slim arms snaked around my waist from behind. Dread hit me as I realized who it was.

“Hey baby, I was afraid that I wouldn’t get to see you today.” Samantha said with a playful tone in her voice.

“Yeah, I don’t have a lot of time I have to get to the field.” She walked around to my side, and I could see her makeup and hair was freshly done. “Are you training today?”

“No, not today. I am going to the salon, remember?” Oh yeah, she said that over the phone earlier.

“Ok, let your team know.” I was in charge over training, but Sam and Tanner was under me. Sam was over the training portion of the female warriors. Tanner was over the males. There were so many warriors I had to do something to make sure everyone gets the training that they need.

“I already did.” Sam said and she followed me over toward Tanner and Harper. At this point Harper had sit in the chair across from Tanner. They were having a conversation and as I got closer, I was able to catch the last of what they were talking about.

“I am sure Kelly has a dress you can wear. You two are almost the same size, right?”

“Yeah, I think so. I really hate to ask her to borrow a dress. I have to find a way to make some money. I don’t have anything here.” Said Harper.

“She is a charity case. Holding her hand out waiting for someone to feel sorry for her and give her what she wants. How disgusting.” Samantha said beside me. We were close enough that Harper heard what Sam said. I stopped walking and looked at her.

“Samantha, Harper is the newest member of our pack. You will treat her with respect. She is not a charity case. You don’t even know her.” Sensing my agitation toward her she shifted uncomfortably, biting her bottom lip and avoiding eye contact with me. I continued to walk to the table and pulled out a chair that was next to Tanner. Sam didn’t sit, instead she glared at Harper then leaned down to me and her lips connected with mine. I didn’t kiss her back, but I didn’t want to embarrass her by pushing her back, so I just waited for it to end. Hating the fact that she just did that in front of everyone. I looked toward Harper. A look of hurt covered her face but she quickly cleared it of any emotion. Did Sam kissing me affect her? I knew Sam kissed me in front of Harper as a silent way of claiming me, but I am not hers to claim. Sam proceeded to hug me from behind. Her hand rubbed down my chest stopping at my abbs.

“Alright Sam, I have to eat. I'm running late. I’ll see you later.” I was trying to put an end to this awkward situation.

“Sure baby, I’ll see you later.” With that she finally stood straight and walked toward the door of the dining hall. Before she was out of sight Tanner started up on me.

“Gabe! When did you two become official?”

“We are not official; I just didn’t want to embarrass her by pushing her away. I wish she hadn’t kissed me here. I told her we would take things slow and see where it went.” I said deflated. I rubbed my face with my hands to try to relive some stress. Then picked up my fork to begin eating.

“Well, she makes things look like it’s really heated between the two of you.” Said Tanner.

“It’s not.” I spoke. I looked back over to Harper who was almost done with her food. There was an emotionless look on her face as she seemed to be deep in thought. “So, Harper, how was your night?” I said trying to get off the subject of Sam. I also wanted to see how she was settling in. She raised her eyes to look at me. Her mood seeming to be lightning.

“I slept well, thank you. I didn’t know what time training was, so I tried to catch you or Tanner here in the dining hall before you left for the field.”

“Yeah, we are usually already on the field deep in training by now, but we are behind on our schedule today. I thought I would give you a couple of days to adjust before inviting you to train.” She smiled and picked up her tray to empty it. She really didn’t have to do that. The dining staff was responsible for cleaning off the tables. The fact that she wanted to go out of her way to help as just adding to my attraction to her.

“I have been out of training now for weeks. I am ready to get back. It will also give me a chance to get to know more pack members.” Harper said with excitement written all over her face.

“Alright, I am looking forward to seeing what you got.” I couldn’t help myself but run my eyes up and down the length of her body. I was right it’s a full C cup in the front. A section of her mid drift was showing between the gap of her sports bra and workout tights. Heat flooded my body as I realized I was staring Mika’s excitedly jumping and howling in my head. I looked back up to Harper’s face and couldn’t miss the cute blush that had graced her cheeks. I do affect her.

“We want her. We need her! Make her ours, now!” Mika’s voice blasted in my mind.

“Mika, I can’t just throw her over my shoulder carry her to my room and have my way with her.”

“Give me one good reason why we can’t.” shaking his head in agitation and pawing at the ground.

“Maybe because she doesn’t want that. Plus, that is just not how I do things. I am not even sure we need to pursue things with Harper. She has been through too much, she needs time.” I spoke. Mika scoffed and disappeared into the darkness of my mind. Probably laying down to pout somewhere. Knowing I affect Harper so much, it wouldn’t hurt to flirt a little right? Ok, I have to be a good guy and end whatever it is that Samantha and I have first.

“Gabe, are you done? We need to get to the field?” Tanner ask standing up from his seat.

“Yeah, you guys go ahead. I have something I need to do, and I’ll meet you there. Let everyone know we are running late but to go ahead and meet on the field in 10 minutes.”

I jumped up from my seat grabbing my tray and putting it away in the bin to be cleaned. I ran toward the door. I hope Sam hasn’t left yet. I really want to have this conversation with her in person. Outside the packhouse I caught Sam talking with one of her close friends about to get in her car to leave.

“SAM!” I yelled trying to get her attention before she had the chance to leave. She heard my voice and looked over to me and smiled. She said something to her friend and started walking toward me. We met in the driveway.

“Hey, I didn’t know you would miss me so soon.” She laughed and playfully smacked my shoulder.

“Sam, we need to talk.” I said with a serious face. She knew it wasn’t a good conversation because the smile on her face melted into a frown. She didn’t say anything and waited for me to speak first. “Sam, this thing between us…it just feels forced. I like you; I do. Your beautiful and smart, but I can’t drag you along if I don’t see things going anywhere between us. I am sorry I don’t want to hurt you.” Her eyes filled up with tears.

“Gabriel, please give us a chance. I know it will work out. You haven’t given us enough time.” She threw herself into my chest wrapping her arms around my neck. I hugged her back and then gently pushed her away. I looked down into her eyes.

“I am sorry, I really am, and I tried but I just can't keep this up Sam.” Her facial expression turned to hurt as she lowered her head and turned to walk back to her car.

“You will regret this one-day Gabriel.” She said in a low whispering cry. “You have to see that we should be together.” I watched her get in her car and start to cry harder. Her face fell into her hands as her friend patted her back to comfort her. I hate things had to end that way, but it is better to end things now than to let it go for later. The more her feeling grew for me the harder it was going to hurt her later. I turned around to jog behind the packhouse and make my way over to the training field.