After My Death Tomorrow

Episode 16

The next morning, I woke up with a smile on my face. Lately, nagiging pala-ngiti ako and I can't help it. I may look weird but it's just . . . a thing I can't avoid these past few days. Hindi ko talaga alam kung bakit. It's just really weird for me . . .

Noong bumangon na ako, halos lumuwa ang aking mga mata sa nakita. The letter. The letter of my future self is sitting innocently on my bed-side table!

It was the reason why I felt a sudden panic. Spero Futurae! He entered my room while I am asleep? It's f*****g scary!

Ginulo ko ang buhok ko, imbes na mainis kay Spero Futurae ay i-finocus ko na lang ang utak doon sa letter. Without any hesitations, I started to pull the letter out of the envelope.

With no expectations, I started reading it.

To Margot

I was there.

I was always there.

I was always there whenenever Marco is breaking down into pieces. I was always there but I fail to be there as his comfort against the world.

I was there but I just can't deliver.

My will is always halted by my hesitations. I am always hesitant when it comes to him. Because deep down I knew, I am afraid to tell the world they are bull. I was just really afraid to face the truth even if it's slapping me already.

Bumuga ako nang malalim na hininga.

I will never be like you. Never.

It was the greatest regret that will forever kill me. If ever I did not stay on my own shadow of fear, I would've saved Marco.

Buhay pa sana siya ngayon.

If it wasn't for my own fear, Marco and I could've been something . . . something great that I will never expect.

Now, Margot. That was the thing I don't want you to commit. I want you to protect Marco at all cost. I want you to be his torch as he continues to fade. Be the light. Be that brightest light and lighten his slowly-crashing world.

Make him your priority.

Help him.

He badly needs help.

And I am afraid, you are the only one who can do it.

You are his one and only chance.

His one last chance to continue. To live. To fully live. To stay alive.

I let out all the air from my lungs. Never thought I've been holding my breath for a long moment.

I blink.

Then close my eyes.

And as soon as I saw nothing but darkness, I knew and I am aware that I have to do this. I have to win this mission. I have to win against Marco's painful destiny.

I should win.

I will win.

***

"Sarap mo sigurong maging nanay, Margotliit. Sarap mong magluto, eh." Marco chuckled. He is resting his head on my lap. It's been one week now since I started to cook for him. Nandito kami ngayon sa rooftop. This place has been our safe haven for Marco. Hindi pa rin kasi siya tinitigilan ng mapanuyang tingin ng mga schoolmates namin.

I rolled my eyes playfully. "Hindi ka papasang anak ko. Maganda ako, panget ka."

Tumawa sina Diyes, Magne at Vaeden.

Si Marco naman ay parang batang bumangon. Tinignan niya ako nang masama.

"Bakit ba ang sungit sungit mo sa akin?" He tilted his head. "Crush mo ba ko?"

My heart skips a beat. Hindi ako nakaimik. As he stares at me, I feel the heat on my face. Patuloy lang ako sa pagkurap habang nananatiling nakatingin sa kanya.

Anong nangyayari sa akin?!

"Huli pero 'di kulong." Pabulong na sambit ni Vaeden na may kasama pang pekeng pag-ubo. Gusto ko siyang sampalin. Gago talaga.

"Ano? Crush mo ba ako?" Muling tanong ni Marco habang nakangiti nang nakakagat labi. He is provoking me and he is enjoying it as f**k.

Bumuga muna ako ng hangin bago sumagot. "Hindi." I may look calm but deep inside, I am freaking out.

Totoo naman, wala akong gusto sa kanya . . . or so, I thought?

On the corner of my right eye, I saw him shrug and groan in disappoinment. I decided not to mind him. Pinagtitripan na naman siguro ako ng siraulong 'to.

Noong tumunog na ang bell, dali-dali na kaming tumayo at dumiretso sa assigned room namin para sa unang subject ng afternoon class.

***

"I really hate History class." I yawn right after Ma'am Catacutan went out of our classroom.

Saktong ipapasok ni Marco ang daliri niya sa nakanganga kong bibig nang mapabaling ang mata ko sa kanya. Glaring, tinampal ko agad ang kamay niya.

Juskong lalaking 'to, napakalakas talaga ng trip lagi.

As I watch him throw his head back and laugh like a kid while walking outside of the classroom, I smile secretly.

His laugh is the soundtrack of my happiness lately.

Habang naglalakad kami sa corridor ay biglang tumigil sa harap namin si Marco. One moment after, my heart sink as the familiar view of him started to visit me again.

"Hindi na muna ako sasabay sa inyo, may pupuntahan lang ako."

"Saan ka naman pupunta?" I ask, I force myself to sound enigmatic.

May problema.

This look of him looks familiar.

It's . . . sadness hiding behind his smile.

Teka, may problema na naman siya? Wait, bakit wala manlang sinasabi sa akin si Spero Futurae?!

Ilang buwan na ang nakakalipas pero wala pa rin akong natatanggap sa kanya. That was the reason why I assumed, everything will fall to it's right places as long as I never let Marco walk his lonely path alone.

"Basta." Natatawa sambit ni Marco. Nagsimulang maging awkward ang ngiti niya.

"Saan nga?" I pushed. I have to. I promise myself that I will help him get through of his problems.

"Eh, basta nga." Now, he is frowning at me.

"Marco," I heave a deep sigh, "kung may problema ka, 'wag kang mahiyang lumapit sa amin." I smile at him carefully, "Friends are supposed to help each other, right?"

His face softened.

"What is happening?" Magne laughed as if Marco and I are doing an act, "Ang serious nemen!" I scowl at her and almost pull her hair out of the whole Universe.

Mabuti na lang at sumingit si Ben 10 s***h Diyes which really surprised me, marunong pa pala siyang magsalita? "Anong problema mo, Marco?"

Wow, ilang words 'yon? Four? Improving?

Vaeden taps Marco's shoulder, "Ano 'yon, tol?"

Marco heaved a defeated sigh, "Kailangan ko kasi ng part-time job. May alam ba kayo?" Nagpapalit-palit siya nang tingin sa amin.

Oh . . . So, this is the problem now.

Financial problem. I never saw this coming.

"Me!" Magne suddenly exclaimed. "Naghahanap ang tito ko ng singer for his restaurant sa Tagaytay. I'll tell him na ikaw na lang ang kunin since you can sing naman, 'di ba? I heard you sing noong nag-karaoke tayo last week sa bahay nina Vaeden. Kayang kaya mo naman siguro 'yon, right?"

"Really? Oo naman, kayang kaya ko 'yon! Minsan na akong naging singer sa event ng ka-workmate ni Papa, eh. At saka I'm a member of Glee Club sa dating kong school." Marco is now smiling from ear to ear.

"Wait, I will call him muna!" Magne quickly reached for her phone on her pocket, she dialed her Tito's number and talked to him.

Lumapit ako kay Marco. Tinapik ko siya sa balikat. "H'wag ka nang mahihiyang mag-sabi sa amin if ever na may problema ka, ah? Kaibigan mo kami. We are more than glad to help you."

"Agree." Diyes added while nodding his head slowly. So, are we back with his one-word-rule?

To be honest, sa ilang linggong naging kaibigan ko si Ben 10, mas madalas ay puro one word lang ang sinasabi niya. He is the real definition of silence. Napakatahimik. Napakaseryoso. Ganoon ba talaga kapag President ng classroom?

This guy and his one word. I shook my head mentally.

Inakbayan ni Vaeden si Marco at saka kinutusan. Tumawa lang naman ng malakas si Marco. Relieved is clearly evident on his face.

Ibinulsa na uli ni Magne ang kanyang cellphone. "Okay, Marco. You are hired!" She clapped as if Marco won the lottery. "Sa Monday na daw ang start mo!"

Marco yelled and jumped in celebration. We joined him celebrate except Diyes who satisfied himself with just smiling and watching us.

Ilang segundo pa ay nagpasya na kaming maglakad palabas ng school building. I secretly smile at Marco who is walking infront of me. Bigla akong nabuhayan sa mga nangyayari ngayon.

Everything on his life seems so right now. It was too good to be real. But it was too fulfilling to breathe in.

On that moment, sigurado na akong kaya kong palitan ang future. Kaya kong ibigay sa kay Marco ang buhay na nararapat sa kanya. Hindi siya pwedeng mawala sa amin dahil marami pa kaming masayang mga araw na pagsasamahan. Not on this lifetime. Never on my watch.

"Marco!" Came by a voice of a girl.

Napakurap akong ibinaling ang tingin doon sa babaeng 'yon. I narrow my eyes. Cygny Novessa Amorsolo. The President of CSG.

Mukha talaga siyang artista. Siya 'yung tipo ng magandang babae na lumalabas sa TV. 'Yung mukhang araw-araw ay pwedeng isabak sa photoshoot.

Marco smiled at her and she waved at him as she headed towards the building where CSG Office is situated.

"Closed pala kayo ni Cygny?" I asked Marco. Well, hindi naman nakakagulat talaga. Marco was popular way back on our JHS years.

He nodded and yawned. "Yeah. Pareho kami ng Club dati. Ako 'yung pumalit na President ng Glee Club matapos niyang grumaduate."

Pinitik niya ang noo ko, "Hindi mo talaga ako pinagtutuunan ng pansin noong JHS tayo."

I just pout.

I am freaking guilty of his allegations.

Pero teka, bakit parang may biglang kumirot sa puso ko noong hindi naalis ang ngiti niya matapos makita si Cygny?