Suggestion
1233 Words
Soraya was silent. She didn't know how to react when she heard Robert's words. It was as if she had just heard something that made her wary.
Soraya swallowed hard, her throat hurting. She didn't know what to do now, saw Robert who seemed to be ignoring her and was busy again with the things he had to arrange in the refrigerator.
"What should I do now? It seems he doesn't like it when I ask too many questions. But, if I don't ask, I'll die of curiosity!" Her mind stirred. Although afraid and doubtful, Soraya decided to approach Robert and hoped that this silence would soon go away from her.
"What if I help you?" Soraya volunteered to help Robert. She hoped that Robert would ask her to do something more useful so that she would stop overthinking things.
"I will cook Risotto, you can help me cut this meat!" He said as he handed a bowl of raw meat into Soraya's hands.
"Okay!" Soraya was relieved. At least for a moment she could get her head off the bad thoughts.
Robert gave her a butcher knife, a bamboo board and a bowl. Soraya thought she would gladly undertake this task. However, when she opened the plastic bag, she felt nauseous and almost threw up.
"Ugh... why do I suddenly want to throw up?" She thought. She could feel the food in her stomach begin to rise to her throat.
It was just a lump of red raw meat, but the fishy smell of blood still stung. Soraya hated the smell of raw meat and blood. Although she really wanted to throw up, but of course she couldn't do it now because she was afraid that Robert would think that she was too spoiled.
"Ugh... how is this? I can't stand it!" Somehow, the image of Kerry's face hanging from the ceiling appeared in her head.
Her body began to tremble as she recalled Kerry's very pathetic condition. Her bulging eyes that almost popped out were directed right at the bed where Soraya slept. It was as if she had kept an eye on Soraya all night and worst of all that she was sleeping with the body of her dead roommate.
Treeekkk...
Her shaking hands made the knife slip out of her grip and fall to the floor. Robert immediately looked at her with a straight face that made Soraya uncomfortable. Awkwardly, Soraya bent down and picked up the knife that was right at her feet.
"S-sorry, I accidentally dropped it!"
"Are you all right? You look so pale!"
"I'm fine! No need to worry, I-" She stammered. She wanted to continue this and help until it was done. She didn't want to just be a burden to this man who had helped her so many times.
"If you're not feeling well, you better go to sleep! I'll wake you up when the food is ready!"
"No, I'm fine! I really wanted to help. You've already cooked me delicious meals several times because of that-"
"Can you cook?"
"I'm not very good at cooking. I only cook easy-to-make foods like eggs, toast and instant pasta."
"Is that so?"
"Yes!" Soraya lowered her head in shame. She felt that she was very pitiful for not being an expert in what women should be able to master. Beside her, Robert did a great job. He cut the vegetables and leeks very skillfully. It left Soraya at a loss for words.
"Then, I can't expect you to cook!"
"Th-that I thought I would study, so-" Soraya felt even more embarrassed. She felt so useless as a woman.
"It's okay, if you can't do it! You don't have to be able to do everything. But, at least you can do it for yourself. If you're in a difficult situation and you're all alone, you can survive with good skills you have." He said in a soft voice. Soraya was taken aback, she glanced at Robert for a few seconds just to see his face.
Deg...
Her heart was beating fast. This man a few minutes ago looked cold and scary. But in a short time, he looks so warm. Soraya lowered her face again, she couldn't contain her feelings.
"Why are you being so nice to me?"
"Hmm?"
"Why do you want me as your wife? I am so useless. I am stupid, lousy and also reckless. But worst of all, I always bring bad luck to those around me. I think your problem is the effect of my bad luck!" Her voice trembled. Soraya tried to keep her from crying.
Beside her, Robert was silent and didn't know what to say to make Soraya feel a little better.
"What happened to me had absolutely nothing to do with you!"
"But, I-"
"Listen! If you want to ask the reason why I chose you, didn't I tell you before? I'm not going to repeat what I've said before. But, if you want to know if all the trouble that happened was because of your bad luck, maybe it's not entirely wrong!"
"Ha?"
"Sometimes, we are forced to admit our mistakes just because we are always in difficult situations that involve other people. When someone starts blaming us for their sadness and hurt, we start to wonder if it happened because of our presence. It continues whenever something goes wrong. If something is constantly being said and our brains are forced to accept it, over time we will be persuaded and actually think that our existence is a mistake. When in reality people are only looking for scapegoats so they don't need to blame themselves, so they think that they will be saved that way. In this world there are no unlucky humans, there is only the predetermined destiny of every human being."
"But, what if we make a mistake that hurts others? Isn't that bad luck?"
"Good luck and bad luck, sometimes it all comes through an intermediary. It could be a human, an animal that even time too. What makes the difference is just a point of view. A person can be a murderer and mediate the death of the person he kills. People will think that the killer is cruel because they has taken the lives of others. However, what if that person should have died at the same time? They will definitely still die even if it is not because of murder. It could be due to an accident, illness or their own negligence."
"Then, do we have to be murderers and decide the end of other people's lives?"
"I didn't say that! I told you, it's all just a different point of view. Killers don't think the same thing as their victims think. But, basically all humans have the same potential to become a killer. It's just that something is right. It's just that some actually take advantage of the opportunity, but most don't want to do it for various reasons. Compassion, sympathy or fear. But when they find the reason and the urge to do it, they will definitely do it even if it's just to defend themselves."
Soraya was silent, all that Robert could not deny. This man has a different mind, very mysterious and scary. When the two of them were both silent, the silence that engulfed her made her fears emerge.
"Have you ever killed someone?"
***
- Writer
