Regret
1266 Words
Soraya opened her eyes wide, glaring with sweat dripping down her body. She felt very cold and felt colder because of the eerie silence.
Soraya raised her head, she realized that she was still in Robert Stanley's room even though she didn't see him here.
"Where is he? Am I dreaming?" This was starting to make her panic. Not knowing which was a dream and which was real, everything felt vague and clear at the same time.
Soraya stomped her feet onto the cold floor, a strange sensation radiating from the soles of her feet. She took the blanket and covered herself with the blanket before leaving the room.
Soraya opened the door slowly, stepped out of the room directly opposite the stairs leading to the first floor. She hated that at the bottom of the stairs there were dozens of dolls stacked on the shelves that filled the hall.
Soraya wasn't sure if she would be able to make it through the passage alone. However, staying here in Robert's absence scared her even more. Yesterday she saw Kerry's face hanging from the ceiling with that horrible look in her eyes in her dream and a few minutes ago, she saw Joshua with a much more terrifying appearance.
Soraya still clearly remembers what Joshua Peterson looked like, which she could barely recognize apart from the distinctive earrings that always hung from her ears and her voice, which sounded like a talking monster.
"Joshua? Is that really him? Did I really see him in your dream? What happened to him?" Her body shivered. Soraya couldn't bear the fear any more than this.
The only thing she wanted was for Robert to come to her soon. However, in the midst of this silence, Soraya could not hear anything other than the sound of her own heartbeat.
"Where is he? Where is he? Why did he leave me? Didn't he promise not to leave me alone?" Soraya squatted down holding the blanket covering her body.
"Hoeeeekkk..." Soraya vomited. Suddenly her stomach felt very nauseous, she sobbed. Hope someone can help her and take her away from this scary place.
Pluuukk...
One of the dolls on the shelf fell to the floor. Soraya was surprised, her eyes turned to the doll that had fallen right under the stairs. No wind, no one. But why did the doll just fall over? This is strange, this is very strange. How could this happen?
"No, it's not-"
Soraya panicked and immediately ran down the stairs, holding back her fear for a few seconds so she could reach the closed door.
Braaakkk...
Soraya immediately opened the door and ran as fast as she could to the yard. However, the scene in front of her eyes forced her to stop running and froze in her place.
She saw Robert standing in front of the house with a canvas and a brush in his hand. He was standing 10 meters from the front door and facing the house. He seemed to be painting this house on canvas.
"Soraya? You're awake, aren't you? Sorry, I thought you-"
Soraya ran to Robert and hugged him tightly. Soraya cried, she felt very happy and angry at what this man did to her.
"Why did you leave me alone? Why?" She sobbed. She could not contain the sadness and despair that filled her soul.
Robert let go of the brush in his hand, letting it fall to the cold ground to return Soraya's hug and help her soothe her soul.
"I'm sorry! I'm really sorry!"
"Don't do that again! Don't leave me alone. I need me, I really need you!"
"I know!"
***
"Drink the tea!" Robert said as he placed a cup of tea on the table. He pulled up a chair across from Soraya and sat down looking at her face.
"Thank you-" She said sadly. Soraya took a sip of the tea and let the warmth run down her throat.
"You slept so well, I couldn't bear to wake you up. I'm sorry!"
"It's okay, I get it! I just keep having nightmares. It's been getting worse since Kerry died like that."
"What did you see in your dream?"
"I met someone I really miss. Someone I've been missing from my life for over two years."
"Really? Who?"
"Matthew!"
"Who's Matthew?"
"He is my friend and also my boyfriend in high school. He is my first love!"
"Is that so? Did you dream him?"
"I'm sorry! I shouldn't have talked about this to you!"
"It's okay! You can tell me anything! I'll listen to you!"
"I don't know why I'm only dreaming about it now. Is it because I miss him so much or-" Soraya stopped her sentence. Her chest ached every time she remembered what had happened to Matthew.
"Or?"
"Or is it because I feel so guilty that it keeps haunting me?"
"What makes you feel guilty? Did something happen to him?"
"Matt disappeared, he drowned in the waves while we were on vacation at the beach. He drowned helping me and his body was never found." She said. Her voice trembled, the young man's face and smile still lingered in her mind. Moreover, she had just seen it in a dream.
"You must be blaming yourself for what happened to him, am I right?"
"I don't want to blame myself. But all of that happened because of my fault, indeed I was the one who was at fault. If only he didn't help me, maybe he's still alive right now-"
"And you died?"
"Yeah, I'd be dead by now. I was thinking maybe I should have died then. That way I wouldn't have to bother everyone with my problems. Diana didn't have to die and Kerry didn't have to end her life."
"What do you think would have happened if you had died at that time? Are you sure everything would have been fine without you?"
"Yeah, I'm sure everything will be fine without someone like me. I don't know why my existence has always been sadness for other people. For my dad, for my mom, for my neighbors, for my friends and for Matt. My happiness is a cause of suffering for them. If at that time I was the only one who was swept away by the waves and disappeared in the middle of the sea. None of this would have happened-" Tears welled up in her eyes. She felt so vulnerable and unfortunate.
Regret after regret, Soraya had faced it for most of her life and this time she could no longer bear it.
Robert rose from his place, walked over to Soraya and knelt right in front of her. Robert touched the girl's face with both hands and wiped his tears.
His blue eyes looked so gentle, so deep that Soraya almost sank into them. Soraya stopped crying, she was so mesmerized by the beauty of those eyes.
"It's okay if you want to cry, it's okay if there are so many things you regret. But remember one thing, you are very beautiful when you smile and your feelings will be saved if you can stop blaming yourself for the fate that is rightfully other. You just happened to be in the same place as them, you just happened to meet them. But that doesn't mean bad things would never have happened had they not met you. You are a savior for yourself, because that's at least save yourself from all the pain you have endured all this time. I will always support you, I will be with you!"
***
- Writer
