Fate Must Be Crazy

Chapter 4

WHAT A DAY. Hindi ko inaasahang mangyayari sa 'kin 'to. Sigurado akong si Mr. Raven ang iboboto nila kasi 'yon naman talaga ang dapat na mangyari. They were eyeing on me all along. Para akong nasa gitna ng kagubatan at napapalibutan ng mga mapanganib na hayop.

"Hmm, interesting. May I know why all of you voted for Ms. Grey? I want to know the reason behind this."

"It's because she doesn't belong here. Simple as that," mabilis na sagot ni Ms. Ocampo na hindi pa rin nawawala ang ngisi sa mga labi.

"I agree. She maybe an outstanding student and her intelligence is beyond compare but it doesn't change the fact that she came from a poor family. She's only a scholar of the school, why do we have to invest too much on her?" segunda ni Ms. Ramirez.

"That's what you get for being so pabida. Deserve so much," wika naman ni Ms. Wales at ngumiti nang matamis.

"Stop it," awat ni Mr. Raven sa kanila at tumayo. "This doesn't makes any sense. Those are not valid reasons. Just because you dislike her is not a valid reason for you to vote her out."

"It doesn't matter anymore, Mr. Raven. The School Head knows to himself that we're all smart and capable of doing the task but not all of us are willing to join the End Class. Kaya nga tayo binigyan ng chance na piliin ang gusto nating ilagay sa End Class 'di ba? Besides, there's no criteria in choosing. All we were asked to do is to choose someone, it doesn't matter why. Just my two cents."

I hate to admit it but Mr. Martinez has a point. Halata rin sa mukha niyang wala siyang pakialam sa nangyayari at binoto lang ako kasi bored siya.

"We were just telling the truth, Mr. Raven. Why are you mad? Tama naman 'di ba? We may be in the same class but we're not on equal footing. She's nothing but a beggar who share the same room with us, share the same food, the same privilege and everything. Our parents pay a large sum of money for our tuition fees and other expenses while she's only studying here for free. Isn't that unfair? Kaya bumibilog ang ulo ng babaeng 'yan kasi hinahayaan mo lang."

Hindi ko mapigilang mamangha sa paliwanag ni Ms. Ocampo. Ang galing, kuhang-kuha niya ang inis ko. Insultuhin ba naman ang pagkatao ko sa harap ko mismo?

"That's the point. She doesn't have to pay for everything because she's a scholar—"

"The heck with that scholarship thing! If she couldn't afford the school then she better not study here. Hindi 'yong pera natin ang nagpapaaral sa kanya. Tapos ngayon malalaman na lang natin na siya ang Rank 1? Hindi ka ba naiinis? I know how painful it is for you to be dethroned by her if you know yourself that you're way better."

"I wanna share my thoughts too," Mr. Palma intently glanced at me and heaved a deep sign. "Actually, it's not only about her current status in life. It's about her attitude and how she interact with us. It seems like she has her own world, she doesn't cooperate with us. It's so hard to communicate with her and when we do, she always has a way to pin us down."

"George's right. She thinks too high of herself. She think she's better than us. What's worse, she doesn't even know how to treat our prime student with respect. Siya lang naman ang nag-iisang walang pakialam at malakas ang loob na kalabanin si Mr. Raven. She's rude, she's an eyesore!" Ms. Tan exclaimed.

Do I really look like a villain to them? I don't know, I don't care in the first place. The way I act is the reflection of how they interact with me. They don't understand a single thing about me and I don't owe them an explanation. The image of me that they created is not my responsibility.

"Enough with this, you're making it look like the whole class dislike her when half of us don't actually care at all. Some voted her out of boredom while the others voted her just because they're too coward to vote for the others," nakangising sabat ni Mr. Samontina. He's the tech geek in the class and his ability when it comes to technology is just too scary. "I can tell who voted who and make everything fall into chaos. You're all scared of that so you casted your votes on Ms. Grey because you find her as an easy target. You know that she'll never cause any harm to any of us."

"Wether you dislike her or not, you still voted for her. It's the same thing. Sorry to burst your bubble but we're not scared of you Mr. Samontina, we just played our cards wisely," wika ni Ms. Montilla sa kalmadong boses habang sinusuklay ang buhok niya gamit ang mga daliri. "Sino ba naman kasing tanga ang kakalabanin ang kauri niya? Isang tao lang naman ang alam nating nakiki-belong dito at tama lang na siya ang napili. Mukha kasing nakalimutan na niya kung saan siya dapat lulugar."

"If the Special Class is a safe fortress, then the End class is a dark abyss. Neither of us want to go there. This may hurt your pride Ms. Grey but you're the only choice I have in mind. I'm sorr—"

"Don't say sorry, Jessica! You just made the right decision. She deserves this," inis na wika ni Ms. Ocampo at tiningnan ako nang masama. "And you, why are you still here? Just accept the fact that no one needs you here and leave in silence."

"This is getting annoying already. When will this argument end?" inis na tanong ni Mr. Rivera na kasalukuyang tinatanggal ang suot niyang headphones. "Just leave, Ms. Grey. Para sa ikatatahimik ng lahat."

Sandaling binalot ng nakakabinging katahimikan ang buong silid. Nakatayo pa rin at nakatungo sa sahig. Natutop ko na lang ang bibig ko at nanahimik na lang. Tutal narinig ko na naman lahat ng dahilan nila, hindi ko na kailangang magsalita pa. Sapat na sa 'kin ang mga narinig ko.

Ayaw nila sa 'kin? Tinanong man lang ba nila ako kung gusto ko rin sila? Sa totoo lang ayoko rin naman sa classroom na 'to, tinitiis ko lang kasi malapit na naman matapos ang pasukan. Konting panahon na lang sana ga-graduate na ako. Ilang buwan na lang ang hihintayin ko, makakaalis na ako sa lugar na 'to pero bakit napaaga naman yata? Anong kamalasan ba ang dumapo sa 'kin at nangyayari sa 'kin 'to?

Mariin akong napapikit, huminga nang malalim at walang anumang nag-angat ng mukha. Halata ang pagkagulat at pagkadismaya sa mga reaksyon nila dahil hindi man lang nila ako nakitaan ng pagkainis o kahit konting kalungkutan man lang sa mukha ko pagkatapos ng mga masasakit na salitang binitawan nila.

Hindi ako gano'n kahina para magdamdam sa mga walang kwentang bagay. Kahit na ilang beses nilang tapakan ang pagkatao ko, hinding-hindi nila ako mapapaluha. Sanay na rin naman ako at alam kong gano'n naman talaga ang tingin nila sa 'kin sa umpisa pa lang. Totoong hindi ako kasing-yaman nila at kailanman hinding-hindi ako magiging katulad nilang umaasa lang sa yaman ng mga magulang nila. Nag-aaral ako gamit lang ang sarili kong kakayahan at talino. Kung ang ugali ko naman ang tatanungin, binabase ko lang 'yon kung paano nila ako tratuhin. Wala akong pakialam sa katayuan nila sa buhay dahil pare-pareho lang kaming estudyante dito. Kung ayaw nila sa ugali ko, magtiis sila dahil hindi na mababago 'yon.

Marami pa sana akong gustong sabihin pero huwag na lang. Mahirap makipag-argumento sa mga taong sarado ang utak. Kung gano'n sila mag-isip, wala na akong magagawa. They can mock me all they want but it won't change the fact that I'm still far ahead of them. I'm too high to reach that it's too painful for them to see me. They can't win against me but they can get rid of me. And that's exactly what they did. Pinakita lang nila kung gaano sila kababaw.

"Mr. Raven, kindly assist Ms. Grey to the School Head office." Tanging tango lang ang isinagot ni Mr. Raven at lumapit sa 'kin. I witnessed how he defend me earlier. I didn't expect he would do that.

"She doesn't need assistance. Malaki na 'yan," inis na sambit ni Ms. Wales na ngayon ay sobrang sama ng tingin sa 'kin. Kulang na lang hilahin niya palayo sa 'kin si Mr. Raven.

"Oh my, you must be scared Ms. Grey," malamyang sambit ni Ms. Ocampo at umakto na para bang naluluha. "Haven't you heard? There are rumors going on around the campus that the End Class loathe the higher-ups so much, especially the Special Class. That's why you have to be extra careful."

"Ano na lang ang magiging reaksiyon nila kapag nalaman nilang may bago silang classmate na isang Special student? They'll probably give you a warm welcome," nakangising tugon ni Ms. Ramirez.

"Good luck, Ms. Grey~" pahabol ni Ms. Ocampo at kumaway-kaway pa. "Send my regards to the End Class. Pakisabi ayusin na nila ang mga buhay nila para makaangat-angat naman sila kahit papano. Kahihiyan sila sa SacHea."

Isinuot ko na lang ang bag ko at mariing hinawakan ang libro. I badly want to slap their faces with this book. I just want to know which one is thicker. Bago tuluyang lumabas ng classroom, muli akong tumingin kay Ms. Ocampo at ngumisi.

"You know what? The only thing that I appreciate about this special task is that I cannot see your face for a while. It's annoying kasi."

Namilog ang mga mata niya at tumingin sa dalawa niyang alalay na ngayon ay masama ang tingin sa 'kin. Clara Wales and Trixie Ramirez. I pity those two for clinging into Vianne Marie Ocampo just for the sake of power and popularity. I'm impressed of how they maintain their bond when it's not genuine.

"Ah! One more thing. I'll surely come back earlier than you expect so don't miss me a lot. I cannot be absent during the Exchange Program, right?"

"Why would I miss a low peasant like you? You rot in hell for all I care!" Kulang na lang sumabog siya na parang bulkan sa sobrang inis. Nagkibit-balikat na lang ako at lumabas na agad ng classroom. Baka hindi 'yon makapagtimpi at sugurin na lang ako bigla. Mahina pa naman ako physically, lugi ako 'pag nagkataon.

"I didn't expect you'd say that," natatawang wika ni Mr. Raven. Nasa likod ko lang siya at nakasunod sa 'kin. "I'm sorry. Natawa lang ako sa sinabi mo. May ganitong side ka pala? How amusing."

"I look miserable, right?" hindi ko napigilang itanong.

"No, not even a second. Ang cool mo nga kanina eh. Kalmado lang at hindi nagpapaapektado sa mga sinasabi nila. I don't know how you did it pero kung ako 'yon baka umiyak na ako o 'di kaya magwala sa inis."

Bumalik sa dating walang ekspresyon ang mukha ko at kahit na mainit ang klima, ramdam ko ang lamig na nakapalibot sa 'kin.

"Crying or outraging won't help. It will just make the situation worse. When you cry, they'll just do things that can hurt you more. When you outrage, they'll just make it look like you're the bad person."

Tumabi siya sa 'kin sa paglalakad. Dahil matangkad siya at may mahahabang mga binti, maliliit lang ang ginagawa niyang paghakbang para magkasabay kami.

"I really like that side of yours. You're always calm and compose. You're not easily triggered by other people and you know how to deal with your emotion. It's like you're the master of yourself."

"You just don't know what I've been through just to be like this..." mahinang wika ko pero sapat lang para marinig niya. Bigla na lang siyang tumahimik kaya napatingin ako sa kanya pero nakatingin na rin pala siya sa 'kin. Para bang may gusto siyang sabihin pero hindi niya magawa.

"Hindi pa man nangangalahati ang araw, dalawang kamalasan na agad. I wonder what's the third one," pag-iiba ko sa usapan at para na rin mabasag ang katahimikan na sandaling namagitan sa 'min.

Wala talagang magandang maidudulot ang labis na kasiyahan. May kakambal kasi itong kapalit, times two pa. Kanina lang sobrang saya ko. I got the highest average score tapos malalaman ko na lang na ako rin pala ang mapupunta sa End class. Gusto ko tuloy tawanan ang sarili ko. Naawa pa ako kay Mr. Raven kanina pero ako naman pala talaga ang target ng kamalasan. Nakakainis isipin pero wala na akong magagawa. Nandito na eh.

"Hey, don't take what I said earlier seriously. Hindi totoo 'yon, gawa-gawa ko lang kasi gusto kitang asarin."

Kahit na alam niya namang hindi ako madaling mapikon sa mga walang kwentang bagay. Ngayon, nagkatotoo nga ang sinabi niya at hindi ko mapigilang mainis. Minalas na ako ng dalawang beses. Someone from Class 4Z took my ID and I got voted out to join the said class. Sobrang bilis ng mga pangyayari, sumasakit lang ang ulo ko.

"So why'd you vote yourself instead of me?" biglang tanong niya na nagpahinto sa 'kin sa paghakbang.

Paano niya nalaman? No, it's impossible. I think he's just guessing it. He's good at playing tricks at nasa akin na kung magpapahuli ako. Magsasalita pa lang sana ako pero agad niyang tinapat ang daliri niya sa mga labi ko na para bang pinapatahimik ako.

"Shh, don't lie to me. That 1% vote that I got earlier was the same vote that I casted for myself. It's only the two of us kaya imposibleng hindi napunta sa 'yo ang boto mo." Namilog ang mga mata ko sa sinabi niya.

"You voted yourself?" Hindi ako makapaniwalang ginawa niya 'yon.

"Yeah. Naisip ko kasi kung ako lang din naman ang iboboto niyo, ba't 'di ko na lang din iboto ang sarili ko? Pero mali ako. Hindi ko akalaing ikaw ang pipiliin nila. Aish. Kung alam ko lang na mangyayari 'to edi sana nag-volunteer na lang akong kunin ang task na 'to para ako na mismo ang bababa sa End Class."

Sandali akong natameme sa paliwanag niya. Kung gano'n binoto lang pala namin ang mga sarili namin. Parang mga tanga. Napatakip na lang ako sa bibig ko para pigilan ang sariling matawa.

"Ms. Grey..."

"Tama ka. Binoto ko nga ang sarili ko. Naisip ko kasi kung sa 'yo lang din naman mapupunta ang majority votes, ba't pa ako dadagdag?" Pinahiran ko ang mga butil ng tubig sa gilid ng mga mata ko at ngumiti nang konti. "Well, I'm relieved that you didn't vote for me."

Hindi agad siya nakasagot. Nakatitig lang siya sa 'kin na parang ewan. I was about to turn my back when he suddenly took my wrist and pulled me closer to him. Sobrang lapit ng mga mukha namin at nararamdaman ko ang paghinga niya. Bumaba ang kamay niya sa kamay ko at pinisil ito. Para bang may libo-libong boltahe ng kuryente na dumaloy sa balat ko. The way he stares at me is like he's diving the deepest part of my soul.

"Flare Zen Fuentes Grey," banggit niya sa buong pangalan ko na ikinatayo ng mga balahibo ko sa katawan. Nakangiti siya nang matamis habang kumikinang ang mga mata. "Your smile is addictive. Can you do it again?"

"You're acting weird." Agad kong hinila ang kamay ko at lumayo sa kanya. I don't know why he's acting like this. Napansin ko ang pamumula ng magkabilang tainga at pisngi niya. "I think you're not feeling well. You have to go to the Infirmary."

"H-Huh?" nagtatakang reaksiyon niya at dali-daling kinapa ang noo at leeg. "Wait, no. I'm not sick."

"You are, now go. No need to guide me, alam ko ang daan patungo sa School Head office." Tinapik ko siya sa balikat at nauna nang maglakad.