Six Like The Number

Grocery Store

*Six’s POV*

These last few weeks with Axle have been more than I ever thought they would be. I can’t seem to help the thoughts in my brain that tell me I’m deluding myself though. We’re a couple of months into this weird f**k buddy situation we have going on and I can’t help but feel like it’s all going to come crashing down around me at any moment.

We have never actually discussed it and logistically, I’m fairly certain it can never be more than f**k buddies. How can it? Sure, we spend a lot of time together and it feels good and the s*x is incredible but when January comes and I put in the application for Theo’s guardianship my life is going to get even more hectic. There’s no way I can expect Axle to deal with that when just the fact that he’s slept with me more than once is more commitment than he’s ever given a girl.

When I wake up in his bed Saturday morning, I head home and pick up Theo, and then take him with me to the grocery store. I put the bags in the trunk of my car and then push the cart over to the cart return, pull Theo out of it, sitting him on my hip, and push the cart in. I walk over to my car and see Jordan jogging over to me.

“Hi,” he says.

“Hey,” I reply.

“Jordan!’” Theo yells excitedly. Jordan and I started dating shortly after my mom got pregnant so Theo grew up with him around and he was always good to Theo. Honestly, if he hadn’t gotten Alisha pregnant, we would probably still be together.

“Hey Teddy Bear!” he says, giving him a fist bump. Theo leans towards him and I let Jordan take him. There’s no question in my mind that Jordan loves Theo too. He gives him a hug and then sits him on his side.

“You’re out then?” I ask him. He got picked up on an assault charge shortly after we broke up.

“Yeah, been out for a while. Did a few weeks in and now it’s just community service. You look good by the way. I’ve been calling and texting you.” my heart clenches at his words. He was my whole world for years and, logically, he shouldn’t be able to affect me like this anymore, but he does.

“I blocked your number.”

“Oh. I just want you to know that I still love you. Always have and always will. I want you back Six. I know I f****d up, but maybe you could give me another chance to show you that I can change for you.”

“Is Alisha still pregnant with your kid?” He nods. “Then none of that matters.”

He sighs and says, “I know, I just hoped that maybe- you know what, never mind. I f****d up and I’m sorry.” He pauses and then says “Laura has been over to see my Dad a lot lately. She’s not doing so good is she?” His Dad is a crack dealer and a f*****g scary one at that.

“No she’s not.”

“But you clearly are. You’re still going to school at Chelsea right?”

“Yeah I am. And Theo here just started pre-school,” I say smiling at him and Jordan says, “Pre-school?! Wow! You’re getting so big!” Theo likes this reaction and buries his head into Jordan’s shoulder, bouncing his legs up and down.

“So are they treating you right at Chelsea?”

I hesitate for a second and he says, “Who do I need to beat up?”

“Nobody, it’s fine Jordan. Somebody already beat him up.”

“So there’s another guy then?”

I nod, trying to gage his reaction to this. “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised by that. You’re smart and pretty and incredible in every way. Anybody would be lucky to have you and I’m the i***t that cheated on you. I just want you to know that no matter what, I will always love you. I loved you long before we ever started dating. If you ever want to come back to me, I’ll be here for you.”

“Jordan, you were my first everything and you’ll always have a piece of my heart. But I’ve moved on. And besides, with my mom getting worse, I’m gonna apply for custody when I turn 18 and I can’t-”

“Be associated with a convict?” he finishes and I nod.

“Also, you need to be there for Alisha. She’s due in what? 2 months? As much as I hate what happened, that child did nothing wrong and deserves both of its parents. And I know you’re going to be a great dad. You were always great with Theo.”

“You know, if I could go back and change things I would.”

“I know Jordan, but what’s done is done. You need to go be a good dad to Alisha’s kid and forget about me.”

“I could never forget about you, Six. Never in a million years. But I will be a good dad.”

I just nod, “Deal.”

“And if whoever this guy is ever hurts you, I’ll kill him.” Coming from him, it’s not an empty threat. I 100% believe that he would kill someone for me. Hence why nobody dared to go near me while we were together.

“Okay, well, I should get going. I promised Theo ice cream if he behaved well in the grocery store. Time to pay up, right buddy?”

“Ice cream!” He shouts and starts bouncing in Jordan’s arms.

“Alright, come on then,” I take him from Jordan and strap him into his car seat. I close the door and when Jordan steps closer, I put my hand on his chest to stop him, “Don’t, Jordan.” I know that if I let him hug me, it sets a dangerous precedent.

“Sorry. Habit.”

I just nod and walk around to the driver’s side, get in, and start driving towards the ice cream shop. I have to force myself not to look in the mirror.