Blood Storm

First Kiss

Jax was quiet as he drove me home that evening. I could tell something was bothering him, and it made me nervous, although I was pretty sure it wasn’t anything I had done.

His face didn’t give away much, but from the glances I stole, he looked.. concerned. He also looked to be fighting that internal battle that I had seen painted all over his face the many times we got close physically.

It was dark now. The cloud cover had settled over the faint sunset and casted an orange glow over everything. It was beautiful— but the silence in the car made it seem almost ominous.

I glanced over at Jax again, and for the millionth time, I was awed. If I ever imagined what an archangel might look like, he was it. His perfectly sculpted face, his white-blonde hair that was always messily pushed back on his forehead, and his exceedingly deep black eyes.. this beautiful, handsome, perfect man was in the car with me, driving me home, because he wanted to be around me. How was I ever going to cope with that? It was such a beautiful thought.

Caught up in my staring and worshipping, I hadn’t even realized that we were in my driveway and Jax had parked just out of view of the house until he glanced over at me. His mouth turned up into a half smile, and I blushed as I realized he had just caught me totally ogling over him.

“What?” He asked.

I stammered, my stomach doing a backflip. “Nothing.” I looked down. The last thing I wanted was to admit to him that I had just been obsessively checking him out. Jesus. I was no better than Jason.

His face suddenly looked worried, and he looked down, his face thoughtful. “That boy earlier. Do you know him?”

I blinked, a little shocked at the turn in conversation. “Um, yeah. He goes to my school. Why?”

He gritted his teeth. “He gives me a bad feeling. And I don’t leave bad feelings up to chance. Not when it comes to you.”

I fiddled with my fingers. “He’s always been a little creepy, but I don’t think he’d actually hurt me. I just think he’s a pervert.”

Suddenly, Jax was leaning over, his breath fanning across my face. His eyes were boring into mine, intense as ever before. “Telling me he’s ‘just a p*****t’ doesn’t offer me much comfort, sweetheart.”

I froze, stunned by his proximity, and then suddenly, the words were pouring out of my mouth. “He’s a little weird. Actually, when I was standing outside today looking for you, I was right about to start screaming for help when I heard your voice.”

Jax blinked, his beautiful black eyes taken aback. “Why didn’t you? If you were that afraid?”

I was sure my face looked sheepish. “I heard your voice, and I wasn’t afraid anymore. I felt safe.”

Everything in Jax’s face softened, and his eyes became fuzzy and unfocused. It was the most attractive thing I’d ever seen, and I felt my insides turn to mush. I gazed back into those beautiful black eyes that were so intently locked onto mine, a warmth growing in the pit of my stomach.

“I make you feel safe?” He said in awe.

I smiled. “You do. Maybe not so much.. safe.. as secure. You make me feel secure. That’s something that I haven’t really felt much since my dad died, but I feel it when I’m around you.”

He slowly closed his eyes, as if my words almost caused him pain. I stared at his perfect features, wondering what about what I had said would make him hurt. I told myself I wouldn’t speak, since he seemed to be trying to compost himself. I don’t know if it was his sweet breath on my face that pulled my courage out of me, but before I knew it, words were tumbling out of my mouth.

“I can’t really figure you out sometimes, you know.”

His eyes flashed open, curious. “What do you mean?”

I gulped. “Most of the time.. it seems like you really want to be around me. And others, it just seems like you’re so unsure, or you’re fighting with yourself.”

He shook his head, his beautiful blonde hair falling slightly over his eyes. I had to fight the urge to brush it back off of his forehead. “I live a complicated life, Colette. But please don’t ever think I don’t want to be around you,” he breathed. “I argue with myself often, about whether or not it would be fair to you to drag you into the chaos of my life.”

My bottom lip jutted out, and I sat back in my seat, breaking the warm and seductive bubble we were in. “You know I don’t know what you mean,” I told him. “You’re so secretive all the time, with all of your phone calls and mysterious meetings.”

He reached over and grabbed my chin, and I almost fainted. “Do you know why I spoke to you that first day in the library?”

His question shocked me. It wasn’t at all what I had been expecting. Distracted by his skin on my face, I just shook my head. “Honestly, I thought you were just picking on me.”

He grimaced. “Picking on you? Hardly.”

“Well, why, then?”

His eyes met mine then, and the passion between us that always seemed to coat the air and heat up even the coldest of days was back. My stomach lurched and my hands started to tremble.

“You looked so heartbroken as you stared down into the pages of that novel. Your beautiful little face was scrunched up,” he ran his fingers across my cheekbones, and my vision blurred and my breathing became labored. “And I couldn’t even begin to imagine why such a beautiful creature was so sad. And all I knew was that I desperately wanted to fix that. Even though,” he sighed, his breath hitting my face. “I knew.. and still know.. that I shouldn’t complicate your life.”

His confession had me reeling. I had been so convinced that first day that Jax was bored when he looked at me, that this revelation sent me into shock.

“I still.. don’t know.. what you mean,” I breathed. His fingers were trailing their way across my jaw now, and it was hard to form sentences. “By complicating my life. You haven’t done anything but make it better so far.”

“It’s better if you don’t know.”

I shook my head, trying to shake his hands off so that I could think, but unsuccessfully doing so.

“All I know is when I’m around you, I don’t feel so bad. I don’t think about my dad. All I think about is you. And how badly I don’t want you to leave me.”

Jax registered my words, and when he did, his hand made its way to the back of my head, threading his long fingers through my red curls. He pulled me forward so that my forehead was leaning against his, and I let out a little gasp. He was shaking his head, as if he were trying to stop himself from doing something and losing.

I was definitely losing focus— an electric current was traveling across my skin and his breath tickled my face and gave me chills. His breath was sweet— the smell was intoxicating, and I found myself feeling almost drunk as it wafted into my face.

“I shouldn’t do this, Colette,” his voice was desperate. “I shouldn’t. I shouldn’t.”

I didn’t know who he was trying to convince— me or him— but all I knew was that I needed him to kiss me. I had been fighting the urge for this man to touch me in so many different ways for a week now, and I needed him to kiss me. I was desperate for it.

“Jax,” I whispered. “Kiss me. Please.”

And that was all it took.

Whatever battle Jax was fighting in his head, he lost it in that moment. My pleading seemed to do something to him.

His eyes locked onto mine, and for a moment, I saw need and desperation in his eyes. I saw him need me as badly as I wanted him.

With a defeated groan, Jax closed the two inches of space between our mouths, and he pressed his lips gently into mine.

And my entire world flipped upside down.

I had been kissed before— I’d be kissed a few times, actually. All three were a little uncomfortable, a little uncoordinated, and not that great. This was different. This was one of those world stopping, nuclear explosion kisses that ended wars. This kiss was everything. Jackson Cross was kissing me as if he was drowning, and I was oxygen. His lips were moving passionately against mine now, with an almost bruising force. His hands were tangled painfully in my hair, and before long he was pulling me over the center console and I was straddling him where he sat in the drivers seat, letting his kisses consume me.

I was breathing wildly when his hand left my hair and curled into my hip, his fingers digging into my side and pulling my hips closer to his.

I whimpered, pushing myself even closer to him, my lips following his in a perfect dance.

Jax’s lips started to slow, however, and his hand on my hip froze and relaxed into a casual hold rather than a scorching moment of passion. He seemed to be regaining whatever composure he had lost. Out of breath, I let him change the pace to gentle and sweet instead of burning like it was.

He didn’t let it go much further than that, though. It wasn’t long before he was pulling his full lips away from mine, and leaning to plant tiny kisses along the side of my neck and jaw. “We have to stop.” He murmured gently.

I laid my head down on the side of his chest, my body jumping at this newfound proximity, but also reveling in it. My face was flushed and feverish. Being so close to Jax felt right. It felt.. like it was meant to be this way.

I focused on trying to catch my breath while my head was laid across his chest, my nose pressed into his collar bone. His hand was curled around my waist, holding me, but carefully not touching the exposed skin where my shirt had ridden up. He was breathing in my hair.

We sat like that for a long time, me straddling his lap with us curled into an embrace. I didn’t want to move. I had had a lot of really good moments in my life— moments where I was truly happy— but this one topped them all. I felt like if I twitched a finger, if I moved at all, I would break the perfect little serene bubble of peace and tranquility that we were in. The delicious glow I felt after having finally kissed him— I was basking in it. I didn’t want it to go away.

“I should get you home,” he sighed. He pressed a kiss against the top of my head, and he sounded as if taking me home was the last thing he actually wanted to do.

“Wait,” I pleaded. I leaned up from my heavenly little spot in the crook of his neck to look at him. “What.. what does this mean? For us?”

He smiled that half smile again, and he reached up to cradle my face. I leaned into it reflexively.

“I belong to you, Colette. You don’t have to doubt that.”

It wasn’t quite an answer, but I decided that for this moment, it was good enough.