Blood Storm

He Huffed, And He Puffed..

Razor blades.

That’s what the water felt like when it encompassed my body. It felt like a million razor blades were slicing through my skin, leaving thin, painful cuts in their wake.

I hadn’t had time to prepare. I screamed as I entered the water, my lungs inhaling what felt like buckets of it. It sent the same razor blades down my throat and into my stomach.

I sank, unable to move my frozen muscles, the slicing pain of the razor blades as the sub zero water hit my body made it impossible to force my limbs to move, to kick, to thrash. To fight.

I tried to open my eyes, but the water was so black I couldn’t even see my own hand in front of me. I couldn’t see which way was up and which way was down.

You’re going to die, my brain echoed at me.

I tried like hell to move my frozen arms and legs. I felt like I was kicking them in slow motion, and I knew that my current state of sleep deprivation wasn’t helping my case. I was too weak. The violent waves fought against me, much, much stronger than I was. My body felt heavy.

It dawned on me then, and I reached behind me and grasped one of my jacket sleeves, struggling with the thick, heavy, submerged fabric. It was weighing me down, making it impossible for me to kick my way to the surface. I can’t leave mom! I yelled at myself internally. Get it together. Fight!

I finally fought my way out of my coat, but it didn’t seem to make much difference. I was able to move my arms faster now, but the strong current just seemed to keep pushing me back down whenever I made a little bit of progress.

I was running out of air. If I didn’t break the surface of the water soon, I was going to suffocate to death. I continued to try to kick and fight against the tide, and continued to lose my battle.

Something grabbed my waist firmly, and I reflexively opened my mouth to scream, and more water flooded my lungs and my head became fuzzy. My legs and arms stopped kicking.

Something was pulling me towards the surface.

I was just about to lose my grip on reality. I was just about to black out from oxygen deprivation when my head broke the surface, and I started gasping for air.

My throat felt raw as I doubled over on the dock, spitting and sputtering as I sucked in the cold night air and simultaneously tried to cough up the water in my lungs. Someone was holding my hair and slapping me hard on the back.

“Colette? Can you hear me?”

Hardly; my ears were roaring. But I did hear enough to know that Jax’s beautiful voice was music to my ears.

I vomited a fountain of water, and finally, I could breathe without feeling like I had a hundred pound weight on my chest.

“Colette?” Jax’s panicked voice was right in my ear. His smooth fingers were suddenly pressed into my jugular, and before I could panic, I realized he was checking my pulse.

“Where.. did.. you.. come.. from?” I panted. My wet hair was dripping ice cold water all over my hands.

“I was on a walk. I saw you fall.”

I tried to lift myself so I could stand, but that didn’t work out very well. I ended up just turning and falling on my butt again. My body was shaking violently as it tried to warm itself.

“We need to get you dry and warm before you get hypothermia,” Jax’s voice sounded off— strained and worried. He gently wrapped his arm around my waist and hoisted me to my feet.

“Wait!” I gasped. “The wolf. Where did it go?”

Jax froze for a moment, his arm clenching tighter around my waist as if he were trying to hold me back from something. His face seemed angry. “It ran off.”

He started to tow me forward, and even in my weakened state, I couldn’t help but feel a little angry at how easily his feet glided over the ice, all while keeping me from falling too. My uncoordinated feet seemed to hold us up. My head lolled to one side, unable to support itself.

“I think I should take you to the hospital,” he worried. He paused briefly and eyed me, and then my feet were out from under me as he carried me like a baby.

“N-no,” I shivered. “No hospitals. If I go, you have to go too.”

“I’ll go with you, if that’s what you mean.” He looked down at me as if he were touched by my words.

“No, I mean, you’re soaking wet! You must be f-freezing. You should get checked out too.”

“Oh, don’t be ridiculous,” he snorted. “I’m perfectly fine.”

“I am too,” I argued. I limply struggled in his arms, trying to encourage him to set me on my feet. “I can walk.”

“There’s no point. We’re almost to my car.”

His car? Oh, thank God. I wasn’t overly excited about getting in the car with him, but I was very excited about heat.

I curled into Jax’s chest, hoping it would bring some warmth to my chattering bones— it didn’t. Under any other circumstances, I probably would have been ready to faint at the thought of being in his arms, but I was currently too busy trying not to pass out from exhaustion to focus on much else.

I heard a car door open, and then Jax gently laid me in his passenger seat. The door shut behind him, and the lack of wind instantly brought me a little bit of comfort. It didn’t do much to halt my shaking, though.

He was in the driver’s seat in a flash, and he started the car and turned the heat on full blast. And then, without a moment’s hesitation, his hands were on me. They were probing me, and I almost tried to rear back and slap him, until I realized they felt like a doctor’s fingers as they roamed over my body, searching for injuries.

I searched his black eyes to try to see what he was thinking. They gave nothing away. They were intently focused on cataloging my injuries.

I gently brushed his hand away. “I didn’t hit anything.”

He leaned back, leaning his head against the headrest. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “I thought I told you not to go out alone at night.”

I sank down in my seat, my tired muscles protesting against me. “It wasn’t exactly planned.”

“The wolf— that’s the first time you’ve ever seen one?” The way he phrased his question made it seem like it was important. His eyes flashed to my face, and his super intense gaze was back. My stomach flipped.

I nodded. “I was surprised to see one so close to town, much less water. I didn’t even think Massachusetts had wolves.”

He put his car into gear, suddenly focused. “I should get you home. You need to put on dry clothes. I don’t want you getting pneumonia.”

The rebel in me wanted to snap back that I was perfectly capable of ordering myself around without his help, but my brain told me that wasn’t a good idea. He was tense, and I was just noticing for the first time exactly how wound up he looked. His muscles were all locked up tight as he gripped the steering wheel, his eyes scanning across the road as he drove, almost as if he half expected the wolf to jump back out of the woods and ambush the moving car. His black eyes that normally made me lose my ability to speak were now doing that for different reasons now— fear.

It was then that despite my current state of freezing, exhausted, and soaking wet, that I was in the car with an absolute stranger. Although, I figured if he wanted me dead he wouldn’t have saved me from drowning or freezing to death. Not to mention, he really was right— I’d lost my jacket in the water, and the long sleeve shirt and pants I had on were soaked and rubbing my skin raw. I was wondering myself how Jax wasn’t shaking as uncontrollably as I was, considering he was dripping wet too— beads of water were falling off of his blonde hair and onto his face. He yanked a hand through it, pushing it back on his head. His eyes were still incredibly intense, but I couldn’t help but notice exactly how beautiful he still was, even discheveled.

The heat in the car was finally starting to warm my icy skin when his phone rang shrilly in his pocket. He yanked it out swiftly and swiped his finger across the screen, pressing it to his ear.

I tried to listen to his conversation over the chattering of my teeth.

He didn’t say anything when he first answered it. “No. Thanks. All clear.”

I assumed this was a business call or something, but the way his eyes kept flitting over to my face told me different. He must have seen that I was eavesdropping.

“On the strip,” he barked. I was wondering who he was speaking to that he was being so abrupt and demanding with. But, then again, abrupt and demanding seemed to be a personality trait for Jax.

Headlights appeared behind us, but I only barely noted it in my brain. Jax glanced in his rear view at the lights.

“Good. No, not neccessary. Thanks.” Jax hung up the phone.

As we turned into my driveway, I almost thought the lights behind us were my mother. I watched carefully though as the car pulled to the side of the road, about a hundred feet from my driveway. It was raining pretty heavily now, and I assumed they couldn’t see and had pulled over to wait for the rain to ease up.

My shivering had slowed, and I was finally starting to feel exactly how exhausted my body was. All of my limbs felt like they weighed a thousand pounds. I was thankful that tonight, at least, I probably wouldn’t have trouble sleeping.

As Jax started to round the next corner that would bring the house into view, I suddenly had a panicky feeling in my stomach. I was going to have to see my mother. I had been cruel— unnecessarily cruel. Sleep deprivation on top of my normal, everyday grief had caused me to say some unforgivable things.

“Can you park here for a minute? Please?” I asked. I looked up at him, trying to convey to him with my eyes how desperately I just needed a moment to gather my thoughts.

“Are you feeling alright?” His expression was suddenly very worried, but he did as I asked and pulled over on the gravel road.

I wrapped my arms around myself. “I’m fine. I just.. I’m going to have a lot of apologizing to do when I get home, and I just need a minute to prepare myself for that.”

“Apologizing?” He scoffed. His beautiful mouth was curved up as if he were disgusted. “Colette, you almost died. I don’t think apologies are necessary.”

I shook my head. If he had seen how I’d treated my grieving mother earlier, he’d have an entirely different opinion of me.

We were in our own little bubble here, and the heat partnered with the woodsy smell that seemed to radiate off of Jax reminded me very much of the day we met in the library— the attraction and all. As I looked over at him, I found myself focusing on his perfect Cupid’s bow lips again. This time, our bubble felt way more intimate— no one was around. The rain was battering down on the car and the only lighting was the dim, illuminating light from his stereo. I wanted to reach out and touch his lips with my fingertips.

“What could you possibly have done tonight that you almost dying doesn’t make up for?” He snapped. His eyes actually looked angry at me.

I broke our eye contact, looking out of my window. There was only so much I could handle in a night, and jumping this man’s bones in his car when he was just being chivalrous was not one more thing I wanted to add to my list of mistakes tonight. I pushed my wet hair off of my forehead.

“I said some things to my mom at dinner. About my dad. They weren’t fair. Or nice. Actually, they were kind of cruel. And I know they were, but I couldn’t help it. They were true things, for me at least.”

“And you think she won’t forgive you?”

I sighed. “I wouldn’t, if I was her. I accused her of trying to erase my dad.”

I didn’t look at him. I didn’t want to. But I could hear a new softness in his voice when he spoke again, and I wondered what his face looked like.

“You know,” there was no anger this time. “I lost both of my parents at a very young age. And if there’s one thing that I learned through that, it’s that grief has no singular way of showing itself. Everyone grieves differently, and on their own time. I’m sure your mother understands that.”

I couldn’t help it. His words shocked me. I looked over at him, my mouth falling open. “You lost your parents?”

His face was thoughtful. “It’s been a long time ago now. But yes.”

I covered my mouth with my hands, embarrassed. “I’m so sorry.”

He smiled, and I think this was the first smile I’d ever seen on his irresistible face that looked tender. “Thank you,” he murmured. “But my point is.. be patient with yourself. Be kind to yourself. And give yourself time.”

I looked down at my hands, twirling a piece of fabric that had unraveled on my shirt between my fingers. I don’t know why talking to Jace felt so.. freeing. For once, I felt like I didn’t have to pretend that I was okay. That I was moving on. I felt like maybe, just maybe, he understood. He understood why I could feel angry. That was a feeling I’d struggled with myself— not understanding why I felt so mad.

“I keep thinking it would be easier if I had answers,” I explained. “If I knew that whoever did this to my dad—“ I cut myself off. I realized that I’d never told Jax what exactly happened to my father.

“You can tell me,” he smiled. “I’m a good listener.”

“Well, my dad was.. shot. At a gas station. And we still don’t have any answers as to who did it. We know why, I guess.. they took his watch and his cash he had on him. But it just eats at me,” I grasped the string in my hands so hard my knuckles were white. “That they’re just walking around, and I’m here, no pun intended— feeling like I’m drowning all the time.”

I peaked up at Jax’s face, expecting to see him overwhelmed at my confession. He didn’t look surprised at all, though. Instead, he gave me that same, tender smile again. “That has to be very difficult for you,” he told me.

I didn’t say anything after that. He just let me sit there in silence as I turned over the night’s events in my head. If I’d learned anything in the past two hours, it was that the path I was on could quite literally get me killed. I’d stomped off onto a boat dock in the middle of a storm, almost gotten eaten by a wolf, and then almost drowned. I was going to have to pull it together and at least try to keep myself going.

“You can pull up to the house now,” I whispered. “Thank you. For listening to me.”

“Listening to you isn’t a chore, Colette. It’s something I actually enjoy doing.”

My heart started hammering. That same feeling of ecstasy I had in the coffee shop when he touched my hand was back now— but it felt like it coated the air. He was looking at me, but his tender expression turned into a more intense one. His eyes melted into mine, and for a minute, I thought I could see a desire that matched mine. And I did feel desire— now more than ever, in his warm car with both of us still in soaking wet clothes. My desire wasn’t my usual one of wanting to kiss him or touch him. My desire was that he wanted to kiss me too. I wanted that so badly. I could no longer try to convince myself that I wasn’t attracted to Jax in a way that was deeper than just physical.

His lips parted slightly as his black eyes stared intently into mine, and his breathing became slightly labored as a wild look came across his face. He looked like he was battling something in his head. Without realizing it, I was leaning towards him, trying to get closer to his intoxicating smell of pine trees and moss.

He was leaning in towards me, too. Whatever battle was going on behind his obsidian eyes, it seemed like he was losing it, and quickly. We were inches away from each other now, and I could feel his breath fanning across my mouth, making my own breath come in little gasps.

But instead of pressing his perfectly full lips to mine, Jax took a deep breath, and gently pressed his mouth to my cheek, planting a tender kiss there. His mouth lingered there for a moment, and then moved to my ear.

My stomach jumped at his closeness, a warmth growing in my stomach as it felt like butterflies were swarming in it. My face flushed and my eyes closed.

“You are absolutely breathtaking,” he murmured in my ear. His breath against my ear made me shiver. “But I am also a gentleman, and you’ve had a long night,” he leaned back, kissing my cheek gently one more time. I thought I might faint. “Let’s get you home.”