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Chapter Thirteen OceanofPDF.com FENODREE I had been back on Earth for over a month. With each added day, I took another step toward establishing a new normal for myself. However, a growing sense of foreboding undermined my ability to settle in completely. When I first met Cat, a voice of reason whispered a silent warning to keep my distance from her. I broke down and ignored the dangers when Cat had come to me so upset. But like a tiny pebble nestled inside my shoe, the unease grew as time progressed. My impending departure date neared. I could not stay in Ireland forever. My current hiding place was too close to Belfast for me to stay for any real length of time. I knew how frequently the queen sent her scouts to keep tabs on the human world. It had been one of those scouts who had discovered my relationship with Hilde. Leaving Ireland would mean leaving Cat. The mere suggestion made my temples ache with frustration. Had her subtle curves and full lips been the extent of the lure, leaving would not have been an issue. Her refreshing perspective on life, her resiliency and determination, and all the other remarkable qualities she possessed that presented a problem. Gods be damned, I never should have allowed her to visit alone. My reluctance to part from her was clawed at me incessantly. Not only did I want to be near her for my own selfish reasons, but I despised the thought of abandoning her when her relationship with her family was in such turmoil. I knew what it was like to be forced from those you loved. The coming months would be difficult, and I did not want to add my own departure to that burden. Another voice, dark and selfish, slithered into the back of my subconscious. Take her with you. However, logic easily deflated that idea as soon as it formed. I was an exile on the run. Not only did I have nothing to offer but I was also a danger to anyone with me. As much as I wanted to entertain the suggestion, how could I ever justify bringing Cat with me? Nor would I have asked that she leave Rebecca and Ashley behind. Those women meant the world to Cat, and I would not ask that of her. During this time of estrangement from her family, it would be even more crucial that she be near her friends for support. I could see no way around our separation, and the realization made me feel hollow in ways even the Shadow Lands had not. I tried to convince myself that Cat was not particularly special. I repeated it like a mantra, telling myself that any woman would have captured my interest after such a lengthy abstinence. It was no use. I could not even pretend to buy into such a ludicrous assertion. Not a single thing about Cat was ordinary. Her looks were beyond stunning. Her thoughtful nature and devoted loyalty to her loved ones were defining qualities of her admirable character. The fortitude she had exhibited by rejecting her family’s beliefs was evidence of her unusual strength of spirit. Even when strapped with burdens, Cat still found ways to appreciate the small beauties in life. Cat was remarkable in every way. Knowing how much her mother had hurt her made me want to find the woman and pull out her intestines one inch at a time. She did not deserve to live if she could not appreciate her daughter's utter perfection. If it was not for the fact that her death would hurt Cat, the woman would already be dead. No matter how many times I analyzed the situation, I concluded that Cat would be best staying in Belfast with her friends and establishing a new life for herself. She was young and resilient. Once I was gone, she might be sad for a time, but she would quickly rebound. She was not the type to stay down for long. The more I thought on the matter, the more confident I was about my next course of action. Cat would not be pleased. I considered leaving before her next visit so that we would not part after a fight, but I quickly realized that would be the coward’s way. And the more I thought about it, the more clearly I saw my situation from Cat’s perspective. By deciding what I thought was best for her, I would be doing exactly what her mother had done—deny Cat the right to choose for herself. Who was I to think I had the right to steal her choices from her? Cat deserved every freedom life on Earth could afford. As much as I would be torn over any decision she made, the choice would still be hers. Stay here in Ireland with her friends or embrace a life on the run with me. My head thunked back against the wall. I had no idea what she would do, but I was man enough to accept the consequences of whatever she decided. The next time she came for a visit, I would present her with the options and hope to the gods that I did not regret either of our decisions.
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