Blood And Breath

18

“What about you? What do you see as the proper direction for your people?” I pushed softly, surprisingly curious about her stance. The deep green of her eyes darkened as sadness ghosted over her features. “I don’t have a particular need to remain secretive, but I think revealing ourselves to the human population would forever change life as we know it on Earth. I’m not sure there’s any way to predict the myriad of ways life would be affected by the widespread knowledge of the existence of magic. Maybe I’m just a coward, afraid of what I don’t know, but my gut tells me that a reveal like that would be catastrophic. I don’t think we should hide from the Fae, but I’m not sure telling humanity about Fae magic would benefit anyone. Unfortunately, it doesn’t matter what I think. I’m not an elder, and I doubt anything I say would have any impact, even if I did try to speak up.” This was not the first time she had considered the subject. In fact, I would be willing to bet that a great deal of thought had gone into her situation. How surreal it was to speak with a woman who looked so remarkably similar to Hilde but who was so starkly different at the same time. Hilde had been brash and bold. She had been confident and vivacious in a way that was infectious to all those around her. I had not known Cat long, but from what I had learned, she possessed a rare degree of maturity for someone so young in years. She was methodical and observant, demonstrating an understated strength behind her words and actions. What caught me off guard the most was how refreshing I found her perspective and demeanor. Perhaps the feeling was simply the product of the many lifetimes without companionship. Perhaps her physical resemblance to Hilde endeared her to me, and maybe the draw was just my practical nature seeing her as a means to an end. I needed to try to recharge my magic so that I would know one way or another whether it was forever gone. I was not sure where Cat fit into the picture, but the growing urge inside me insisted that our paths had crossed for a reason, and I did not like it. “Why are you looking at me like that?” she asked hesitantly as she knotted her hair upon her head. I would not tell her where my thoughts had taken me. “Your hair, what is it that you have used to tie it up?” I asked instead, hoping the question had explained my unintended staring. “Oh! That’s a hair tie or rubber band. They’re specially made to hold hair. Would you like some?” she asked, already beginning to dig through her bag. “I would appreciate that. I did not bring any leather straps with me, and I do not have the proper tools to trim my hair.” She looked at me hesitantly from under her thick lashes. “Would you like your hair trimmed?” I had not put much thought into my hair. It had been a trivial matter relative to all the other changes in my life. But once she had mentioned it, I realized that it was refreshing to get rid of my beard and might be equally as pleasant to shed the long layers of hair as well. “Actually, I think I would.” “I could take you to get it done, or if you prefer … I can do it. My mom and I cut each other’s hair—it saves a load of money. Next time I come, I could bring the scissors.” Her eyes flitted around the room, and color flooded her freckled cheeks. An errant thought had me wondering what other ways I might be able to induce that lovely flush. I forced the image from my mind, repositioning myself in my seat to relieve the unexpected pressure swelling in my pants. “If you are able, that should suffice.” I must have been harboring some self-hatred to punish myself in such a way. Those delicate fingers touching me freely, without having the right to touch back. It would be torture. Looking at those full rosy lips and the trail of freckles disappearing beneath her blouse, I could not have said no had I wanted to. OceanofPDF.com Chapter Eight OceanofPDF.com CAT Exactly one week after my first solo visit to see Fen, I found myself back in my brick-red 1995 Fiat on the road to Strabane. The trip was unplanned and far more spontaneous than normal for me. When I’d woken up that Friday morning, I discovered that my mom had already left the house for the day. The moment I realized she was gone, I sent a text to Fergus explaining that I wasn’t feeling well. Twenty minutes later, I was on the road. I’d spent every waking moment of the week thinking about Fen. It wasn’t like me to obsess over a man, but Fen was different. He was fascinating and so totally alone in the world. I wanted to know his every thought and hear stories of his harrowing past. I wanted to feel the weight of his penetrating stare because when his eyes were on me, I felt seen like I’d never been seen or understood before. I couldn’t fathom how a man from such a different world could possibly know anything about me. Yet I got the feeling he intuited more about me than even I knew. It was there in the questions he asked and subtle touch of his stare when he listened to my answers. Fenodree made me feel special. Was that all a product of Fae manipulation? Maybe I was just naïve, but my gut swore to me that Fen was as honest and transparent a man as I’d ever met. I was so anxious to see him again that I had to force myself not to speed to Strabane. My mother was much more apt to find out about my excursion if I ended up with a citation for reckless driving. That simply wasn’t an option. When I finally arrived, Fen greeted me with amusement in his eyes. The softened expression contrasted starkly with the stern features he’d worn at our previous encounters, filling me with exhilaration. “Cat, I was not expecting any visitors for at least another day. Is that not what you said at our last visit?” He held the door open, and I helped myself inside, hoping I could keep my fluttering heart rate from turning my cheeks bright pink.