LOVE ME (BWWM)

C H A P T E R 5

Numb.

Ebony couldn't feel anything, she should've been used to it by now, but it seemed as if whenever she got like this it was worse than before. She felt nothing. but everything all at once; sadness, anger, loss, guilt... numb.

She really didn't want to get out of bed, she hardly slept last night; after her low she had just fixed up her arm and tried to go to sleep, but all she really did was toss and turn, stare at the ceiling and look out of her window.

Wondering if she should text Max, she decided not to because it was four in the morning, she would just be bothering him anyway, she put her phone down and tried to go back to sleep. After what felt like hours she finally began to fall asleep.

BEEP! BEEP! 

She felt like absolute death, she really wanted to just stay at home. Ditching was out of the question because they'd call her mum, and if her mum found out she'd ask questions, and if she asked questions Ebony would get into even more trouble. Way too much hassle.

7:23am

She ripped the sheets of her now cold body, due to the windows being wide open. She got her headphones and started blasting some Bring me the Horizon to wake herself up completely, after stripping from her soft pyjamas, she climbed into the shower not really caring about the time.

7:59am

After a while of just letting the water flow down her body, she got out and dried herself off. 

Suddenly a gust of wind blew past her and knocked her towel off, she was just butt ass naked. Strike one of her shitty day. She got her towel off the floor and wrapped it around herself tightly and securely. 

After the towel fiasco she put her outfit together, she obviously wasn't going to make an effort this time, her outfit consisted of a black leggings, a thrasher hoodie and some black UGG boots. There was no denying that her hair was a tragic mess, so instead of keeping her curly hair in a tight bun, she straightened it. After a couple of minutes she found her beanie, and just as she put it on she got a text

8:36am

Max: Ebony where are you????

She decided not to answer, she really couldn't deal with 1-2-1 human contact today. Time was going kinda fast, but since she wasn't making an effort with anything today she didn't care.

Grabbing her keys from the kitchen she began walking towards the front door when she realised that she should bring some tissues with her to school, just in case she had a breakdown during class. She was already late, but she didn't care. Trudging up the stairs, she got some tissues from her bedside table. 

8:47am

Getting into her car, she started making her way to college, she prayed that no one would try to talk to her, and no one being, Max, she really didn't want to see him today, her encounters with people never went well when she was like this. She had no reason to try and be nice or happy for, or to anyone.

Wait hold up...wow, it smells like vanilla in here, she thought.

She sat in her car and just enjoyed the heat coming from her car, and watched everyone rushing into the building. She really tried to convince herself that she could walk in there and just get on with it.

She got out and walked to her impending doom.

The lady at the front desk, also knows as Miss Cavern, looked at Ebony and disregarded her presence, she knew that sometimes she came in late, but she didn't really care, as she walked to her class she heard Miss Cavern shouting at another student, "WHY ARE YOU SO LATE, DO YOU KNOW THAT IT'S 8:55 NOW, GET TO CLASS!" she roared.

Ebony just walked past and walked to her class, she had hoped that she could talk to Miss Blue without causing a scene, opening the door she'd heard Miss Blue teaching the class, "So there are three layers to the skin; the epidermis, the dermis and the hypodermis" she said while showing the class a PowerPoint slide of the skin.

"Oh Ebony, I didn't see you there honey, are you okay?" Miss Blue said, while walking towards Ebony, she led the both of them outside and closed the door, before it could shut completely Ebony made eye contact with Max, she didn't know for sure, but it looked like he was worried.

"It was really bad last night, I've barely slept and I just can't... breathe", Miss Blue gave Ebony a hard look of concern, she put her hand on Ebony's shoulder.

"Ebony, please just go home or something and get some rest, eat, sleep, have some kind of fun okay, you're a good student, I'll email you the work when I get back inside" she said while turning back and going into her classroom.

Well I guess schools out for me Ebony thought.

She turned around and made her way to the front of the school, keeping her head low while she walked through the car park, when she finally got to her car she saw a pair of black and white converses, she tilted her head up to get a better view of who was leaning on her car, she was then met with some green eyes.

How did he get here so fast? She asked herself.

"Ebony hey, hey, hey, what's up, why are your eyes so red", she ignored his question and began to walk to her side of the car.

"Ebony look at me" Max said in a booming voice which made her jump, she turned to face him but didn't realise that they were in such a close proximity of each other, "What's wrong?" He asked slowly.

"I'm fine" biggest lie in history, but it'll have to do, he grabbed her by her shoulders and made her face him properly.

"I know you're not, and it's okay" he said.

In that moment. 

That one phrase. 

She broke.

Crying in his arms.

In the middle of their school car park.

She finally let the flood gates open, she cried her heart and soul out, he engulfed her in a warm and loving hug. Neither of them spoke, he just allowed her to cry, no questions asked. 

"It's okay, I'm here, I'll help you" how could he help her from something that was in her own mind.

"I'm sorry, I got tears all over your shirt" he looked down to see a puddle of tears on his shirt, letting out a deep chuckle he brought her back in for another hug, "it's okay".

She let go of him but it was as if the second he let her go, she missed the warmth and comfort he provided her with, she tired to replace the feeling by wrapping her arms around herself but it wasn't the same.

Wiping the tears off of her slightly pink tinted cheeks she realised that she most likely looked like a mess.

"You don't have to tell me what's wrong if you don't want to, but I want you to know that I'm not going to leave you alone until I think you're okay..." he said while walking to the passenger side of the car, she stepped into her car and drove to her secret spot, well not so secret seeing as Max now knew where it was.

While Ebony was driving she could see him staring at her from the corner of her eye, weird but not completely because she had just broken down in front of him.

He knew that she had some things going on with her, from the time that he's been in college, he saw that she was being bullied and that she would come to class late, so he knew that there had to be something wrong with her.

He wanted to get her to open up but he didn't want to push her into telling him everything.

Ebony couldn't stop thinking about how she shouldn't have befriended him and how he was going to leave her; this was one of the main reasons as to why she didn't make friends, she'd get close to them and she'd tell them everything, all of her secrets and then they'd find someone better and they'd leave her, over and over again.

Arriving at the treehouse came quickly, especially with the both of them thinking over everything that had just happened in the last twenty minutes.

"Ebony?" Max shouted, ultimately him shouting got her out of those intrusive thoughts, he looked at her worryingly and pulled her into another hug. She loved that he was a hugger, she didn't mind being hugged, if anything it made her feel happier.

"I'm fine" she said without making eye contact, because she knew that if she looked him in the eyes, she'd break. 

"Ebony don't lie to me, I know you're not fine" he says lifting her head up by her chin, she looked into his eyes. Those green eyes. She wanted to look away but something in her told her not to, so she didn't. They stood there looking into each other's eyes, just in the moment.

They made it up to the treehouse and he laid himself on the big bean bag sofa chair, in the corner of the main room. She went to the other room of the treehouse to get some blankets seeing as it was pretty cold. Her treehouse was big, massive for her but small to someone bigger than her, she was kinda short, fun size maybe?

Was 5"2 short? She thought. She left the thought alone and put herself over the other bean bag and wrapped the blankets around herself.

"I guess I should start talking now huh?" Ebony said while trying to hide herself under the covers.

"I don't want to force you into anything, if you want me to listen I will, I'll try to help as much as possible" him saying that was just surreal... her first thought was that he was lying, as much as she wanted to believe him, that negative feeling she had in the back of her mind, just kept telling her that she shouldn't believe anything he said.

"Thank you, but how do I know that I can trust you, we literally only just met yesterday." As she said that, Max's demeanour began to differ from the once positive one to a more defeated one, he was really hurt by what she said, because he thought that he was finally getting through to her.

"I mean I get where you're coming from, but I won't hurt you, if anything I feel this need to protect you" he said with all honesty. She could see the sincerity in his eyes, he meant what he said, it was just a matter of trying to convince her that he meant it.

Should I trust him? She thought.