Bride Of The Beast

Jealousy 2

RAVEN

The music shifted again, but I didn't hear it. All I could see was the way they moved together.

They didn't stumble, they didn't even struggle. They fit together like two pieces of a puzzle, moving with a predatory elegance that made everyone else on the floor look like an amateur.

I could see it in the eyes of the nobles—the silent approval. They looked right. They looked like they belonged to each other.

I swallowed hard, my throat suddenly feeling tight, like the corset was finally cutting off my air.

Denis took my hand and squeezed. I turned to look at him, my jaw tightening when I saw the pity in his eyes.

“I don't mean to pry, but I need you to be completely honest with me,” he said, his voice dropping below the noise of the crowd.

My heart thudded against the binder. He was staring at me too intently, his usual boyish grin gone. “Did you and Eilís mate? I mean... Did he actually mark you?”

“Of course,” I snapped, forcing a frown. “I bear his mark, don't I?”

“Right.” Denis raised an eyebrow, his gaze flickering back to Eilís and Kiya. “But if you were really mates, he shouldn't be dancing with Kiya and you wouldn't be standing here just accepting it.”

“They're friends,” I muttered, my voice sounding thin even to my own ears. “Dancing doesn't mean anything.”

“Raven, that’s not how it works. You’re not supposed to be reasonable. You’re supposed to be possessive.”

“What do you want me to do, Denis? Should I scream for them to stop? Should I make a scene and run out of the room?”

“Just listen.” Denis stepped closer, his expression dead serious. “I know you're human. I know you haven't lived with wolves before this. But if you were his, your whole body—your mind, your heart—everything should be in chaos right now. The bond should be screaming at you. And Eilís? He shouldn't have the heart to even look at another woman, let alone hold her like that.”

“They are friends,” I repeated, even as my chest felt like it was being crushed from the inside.

“Friends, yes. Not siblings. You should be riled up.”

I shrugged, trying to look bored while my pulse raced. “Well, I'm not. And that doesn't mean we're not mates.”

I looked over at Eilís again. For a split second, his gold eyes met mine. My breath hitched, but he looked away immediately, his gaze shifting over my shoulder as if I were just another decoration in the room.

Denis stared at me for a long time, his eyes searching mine. Finally, he looked at Eilís and back at me. “If you say so,” he muttered. He let go of my hand and walked away, leaving me standing alone.

I rubbed my elbow, my mind spinning. Denis wasn't the only one who had eyes. I could feel the nobles' snickering gazes on me, the mocking whispers muffled by the violins.

******

“Why do you continue to do this?”

I didn't even wait for him to close the door. It had been hours since the ball ended—hours since Eilís had escorted Kiya out and left me standing there while the court laughed.

Eilís stopped, his hand still on the door handle. He looked exhausted, the gold embroidery on his coat dulled by the dim light of the bedroom. He frowned at me. “What?”

“Why do you continue to make things harder for me?” I stepped toward him, my hands trembling.

“What are you talking about?”

“What am I talking about?” I laughed, the sound sharp and bitter. “You don't treat me like your mate. You don't even treat me like a person.”

“I don't treat you like my mate?” He repeated the words slowly, as if they were in a language he didn't understand.

The calm in his voice made me angrier. “Every single day that passes, you manage to make me look even more pathetic in front of everyone. You leave me in corners, you run away from me on the terrace, and then you go and hold Kiya in front of the entire nobles. Do you want them to find out? Is that it?”

“What are you talking about?” He started unpinning the high collar of his coat, his movements sluggish.

“I am doing what I have to do to keep us alive,” he said.

“By humiliating me?” I stepped into his space, the silk of my skirts swishing aggressively against the floorboards. “Denis was asking me questions, Eilís. He was asking why I’m not 'riled up.' He was asking if we actually mated because a real mate wouldn't stand there and watch you parade Kiya around like she’s your mate.”

Eilís finally looked at me, his gold eyes flashing with a sudden, sharp heat. “And what did you tell him?”

“I told him we were mates! What else was I supposed to say.” I threw my hands up. “But it’s getting harder to sell when you won't even look at me. When the music stopped, you looked at me like I was a plague you’d finally escaped.”

“You don't understand,” he growled, taking a step toward me. The shadows in the room seemed to stretch with him, making him look twice as large.

“Then explain it to me! Because from where I’m standing, it looks like you’re ashamed of me.”

“Ashamed?” Eilís let out a harsh, jagged laugh that sounded more like a snarl. He closed the gap between us in a single stride, towering over me until I had to tilt my head back just to see his face. “You think I went out there with her because I wanted to? I went out there because I was suffocating, Raven!”

“You seemed to be breathing just fine when you were whispering in her ear,” I spat, the emotions I’d been trying to suppress finally boiling over.

Eilis scoffed. “You don't get it do you? You have it so easy.”

“Help me get it!”

“This!” He snarled. Waves of emotions hit me at once, I stumbled back in shock, my knees going down.

“This is what I have to feel alone, everytime I come near you, every time I'm around you while you prance around feeling normal.”

I gasped, my hands flying to the floor to catch my weight. It felt like a physical weight had dropped onto my shoulders, a thick, suffocating heat that made my skin prickle and my lungs seize. It wasn't my emotion—it was his. A chaotic, roaring storm of hunger and frustration and something so deeply possessive it made my blood go cold.

“Eilís,” I breathed, looking up at him from the floor.

“The bond isn't just a label, Raven,” he hissed, towering over me. His eyes weren't just gold anymore; they were glowing, the pupils blown wide until the iris was a thin ring of fire. “It’s a tether. Every second I spend near you, it’s pulling. It’s screaming at me to claim what’s mine, to mark you so clearly that no other wolf in this gods-forsaken court would dare breathe your scent.”

He paced the room like a caged animal, his shadows flickering wildly against the stone walls. “Haven't you thought about how you aren't so scared anymore? Haven't you thought about how you have the guts to talk back at me or question me when you couldn't even lift your gaze to look at me before?” He bent down next to me. He took a strand of my hair and curled it around his fingers before his other hand gently traced my lips.

A wave of desire hit me so hard my back bowed. “I made sure you felt nothing, I made sure you weren't so scared of me anymore, I made sure you didn't feel obligated to do anything because of the bond even though I felt every emotion of yours.” He smiled, but it was painful to watch. “Breath, I've blocked it.”

The weight lifted so suddenly I nearly tipped forward. The roar in my head vanished, replaced by the quiet, steady hum of the room and the sound of my own ragged breathing.

I stared at him, my heart still knocking against my ribs like a trapped bird. My lips still tingled where his finger had brushed them.

"You've been... blocking it?" I whispered. My voice was small, the anger from moments ago drained out of me, replaced by a hollow kind of shock.

"Every second," Eilís said, his hand dropping from my hair. He didn't move away, staying crouched in my space. The glow in his eyes was receding, but the intensity remained. "Every time we eat together. Every time I walk with you. I hold it back so you can think. So you can breathe without my instincts drowning you out."

He looked down at his own hands, his knuckles still white. "You think I’m ashamed? I’m terrified, Raven. Because the moment I let that wall down, you don't just see me. You see the beast. And I didn't want you to look at me the way you did that morning—like I’m something that needs to be chained.”

He stood up walking towards the exit and taking his coat along with him. “Get some sleep

Raven.” He muttered not turning to look at me again. I just knelt there staring at his retreating back.