A Lover and A Liar

What Have I Done?

Julian had been nervous since he woke up, earlier than usual. He wanted to blame it on not getting enough sleep. On having a sudden stomach ache. On his wolf being suddenly restless. On the fact that rogues were only growing in number. Anything but not on the arriving of Lady Alina, his mate's childhood friend.

Julian let out a deep sigh. This was stupid. He had had countless of guests since he first became King, this one was absolutely no different. So he had no reason at all to feel nervous, he told himself.

Except he had. Because for two whole years Julian had thought she would happen to be― 

He shook his head, stopping his thoughts from continuing. It did not matter anymore. She had just happened to be a pretty Lady, and he had happened to be young and dumb.

So there was nothing left for him but to take his composure and go downstairs, welcome and honor his guest like he was supposed to. Every friend of his mate was his friend; or at least that was what Julian wanted to believe.

Going down the stairs, he took in a sweet scent, that awakened his wolf out of the sudden. Cinnamon and apples, Julian thought immediately. Which happened to be his favorites, but he pushed his wolf on the back of his head when he tried to take the lead and force Julian to walk faster. There was absolutely no reason to. A sweet scent was just a sweet scent. It did not matter who it belonged to.

He noticed a few of the ladies gathered around something―or rather someone―and as soon as they took in his scent, they faced him and bowed down just like they always did when he was around. Julian wanted to tell them it was not necessary, but his mouth felt suddenly dry, like he hadn't had water in days. For the life of his, his eyes could not move from the woman in front of him, that obviously hadn't noticed him yet, probably because she couldn't smell him.

Not like he could smell her.

Not like her scent had started to play with his head, fill his lungs, somehow, for some strange reason, being the only thing he could smell despite the dozens of she-wolves around them.

When the pits of honey that were her eyes he remembered so well―as if he had seen them yesterday and not five years ago―met his, his wolf howled in his head, almost stuck, frustrated, in a war with himself, and Julian just could not fathom why.

He simply took her in―rather drank her in―all new, grown-up, gorgeous, lovely her. Kind of taller than he remembered her to be, but still short and tiny, with her round face, button nose, and thick, plump lips that parted just slightly, almost in shock, leaving out something that sounded a lot like his name.

Only then Julian got out of the spell she had put her in, shaking his head once slightly. And only then he breathed again. He noticed because his chest had started to hurt somehow, and his heart was pounding on his chest as if it wanted to escape the rib cage and be let free.

"I- I mean, Your Majesty, not Julian. I shouldn't have said Julian," he heard her stutter. "Your Majesty, I apologize..." She shook her head at herself, only then remembering to bow down to him. "That was really not how I should have―"

"Julian," he cut her off, only then realizing he had spoken. "I've told you, Alina, you can call me Julian." He was supposed to call her 'my Lady', but somehow, her name sounded good on his tongue, so he refused to call her anything but that. In hell with titles, he had never fancied them anyways.

Julian noticed her beautiful eyes widen, but he couldn't clearly read what was written in them; fear, shock, confusion?

Without waiting to find out, he took a few other steps towards her and reached out to take her hand in his and kiss her knuckles softly. But he stopped midway when he felt something―something really similar to sparks―shooting through his arm, and by the way her big eyes widened further more, she had felt them too.

Ignoring the strange things that were happening to him by her presence only, he left one kiss on the back of her hand, eyes not leaving hers, not even for a second. For some reason, Julian was enjoying the way her breath had quickened, or her pulse had fastened, and knowing he was the reason behind that.

He was the reason behind that for countless of other ladies as well. What could he do when they found him so charming?

"Welcome back, Alina," he whispered rather than spoke. "I'm glad to see you again."

Her eyes gravitated away from his as if she was suddenly afraid that he could read anything he wasn't supposed to, in her face. "I'm glad to see you too..." she hesitated.

"Julian," he finished it for her, with a small smile on his face. It was somehow endearing, how she refused to say his name when it was the first thing she had said as soon as she had seen him.

"Alina!" The voice of his mate made Julian let go of the lovely witch's hand and put some distance between them, only then realizing they had had an audience the entire time. "I've missed you so much!"

Katherine enveloped the shorter woman in a tight hug, not letting her go for a few seconds. it seemed like she was whispering something on her ear, but Julian realized it was something between close friends, so he didn't try to overhear it.

"I've missed you as well." Alina's voice was still hesitant, contrasting Katherine's joyful one.

"How much has it been? Five years?"

For some reason, Alina refused to meet his eyes now. "I suppose so, yeah."

"You've become really gorgeous, Alina!" For a second, Julian thought Katherine's high-pitched voice sounded fake to his ears. But that was stupid. Why would she fake-compliment her childhood friend when she was this excited to meet her again?

Alina smiled, and it was almost too polite. Too forced. "So have you, Katherine," she said. "And you are... the King's... mate... and fiancée, now. How marvelous, you must be... really happy." The words sounded like someone was keeping a dagger on her throat to force them out, and her gaze never went back to him.

"We are. Right, my love?" Katherine smiled back at him, too brightly.

Words were stuck on his throat, but somehow, Julian managed to get them out, "Of course we are."

Only now Alina's eyes searched for him. As if she was studying him, as if she wanted to know if those words were true or not. Or maybe Julian was readying too much into this. Everyone else was more than convinced he was happy, why would a stranger doubt it?

"But where are our manners? We should welcome you inside," Katherine insisted. "I can show you your chambers."

Alina shook her head before Katherine had even finished the sentence. "You don't have to, one of the servants can. I'm tired from the trip, but we will talk as soon as I've rested a few hours." It sounded to Julian more of an excuse but even if Katherine thought the same, she didn't let it show on her face.

"Of course," she only said instead.

"Whatever you want, Alina," Julian added almost unconsciously

She tried to smile at him, before bowing her head. "My King."

Countless of people had called him, 'my King', after all it was a title commonly used, but coming out of her lips, it made something inside him itch to hear it again. As if she was saying my King, as if he was her King and hers only.

Julian forbid that thought immediately.

***

"Do you want me to show you around, my Lady. Prepare you a bath, perhaps?" the she-wolf proposed, but Alina shook her head immediately.

"That's not necessary, I can prepare one myself. You can go now, please." She kept the door open for the maid to realize she had to go.

And as soon as Alina closed the door, she rested her back on it, sliding down the cold surface until she reached the floor, curling down there helplessly.

Burying her head on her knees, she silenced the sob that left her lips unconsciously, the tears rolling down her face forcefully.

Alina couldn't breathe. The oxygen of the room was not enough anymore. She felt weak, and guilty, and in pain. She had been convinced, one way or another she would pay for what she had done to Julian back then. She just didn't know it would come to bite her this bad, take away the only chance she had at happiness.

"What have I done?" she said out loud, her voice sounding strained and desperate. "What have I done? What have I done?"

Other sobs left her mouth, and this time she didn't try to silence them. It was impossible when it felt like her whole body was in pain.

What had she done? What had she done to her sweet, clueless mate? What had she done to them?