So What If I'm in Senior High School?

Seenzoned

The boom of Social Media has definitely changed the way people experience romance. During traditional times, people were limited to either sending letters or talking to their crush face-to-face just to make progress in their love lives. These days, there are a lot of opportunities for people to do that. For example, the nerve-wracking moment of opening your crush’s chat window on f*******: while thinking of a million ways to say “Hi.”

It’s incredible how things have changed.

Maybe that’s why I feel kind of stupid waiting for a certain person to chat me. I especially feel like a moron because it’s my girlfriend I’m waiting for. Sienna hasn’t messaged me for days even though I can clearly see her online.

My “How are you?”, “Hey, Babe. Message me when you’re not busy anymore” and “Hope you’re doing great. Btw you are amazing. Love you” have all been seen-zoned. Sienna’s turning into a Seen-iana. Damn it. I wonder what I did wrong this time.

I let out a deep breath. I’m probably just being paranoid. What if it’s just that time of the month so maybe she wants space? Wait—am I being judgemental and sexist here? Oh hell no.

You know what? Screw f*******:. I’m gonna grow some balls and ask Sienna what’s wrong directly. I get up from my bed, grab my keys and get out of my room. I walk off to the door.

“Mom, I’m going out real quick. Be home by dinner,” I tell my mom who was sitting on our living room couch while watching the late afternoon telenovela on ABS-CBN. She nods and I head out to my car. Rather, our family’s car. Thanks, dad for letting me have it on weekends.

I put the car into the ignition and hold on to the steering wheel. Taking a deep breath, I think of ways on how I should approach Sienna. Should I ask her the moment we see each other? Should I be subtle about it? Should I knock their door down, barge in their home and have a tantrum in front of her? Just kidding. That would be stupid, Seth.

Whatever happens, I hope it’ll be okay. We’ll be okay.

I drive to Sienna’s place. Turning on the radio, Mundo by IV of Spades plays. This band is getting really popular these days, and I guess they’re good. I just don’t see the hype. Sienna seems to like them though.

The rest of the drive is quiet, and I finally reach Sienna’s house. Standing in front of their gate, I clear my throat and take a very deep breath. Here goes nothing. I press the doorbell. Not long after, I hear the front door open and slippers scratching the ground from the other side of the gate.

The gate opens and it’s Sienna, looking pretty as always.

“Hey,” I say with a smile.

Sienna doesn’t have one on her face though. “Oh… hey, Seth.

My brows curl. What’s with that dry reaction?

“Can I come in?” I ask.

“Can you wait for a second? I’ll be back,” she says.

I nod my head, although I don’t think it was necessary because the moment she finished talking, she went back inside and left me there. I wait. Not like there was anything else I could do but that anyway. Then Sienna comes back, getting out of the gate and closing it.

“Let’s walk,” she says.

I agree without a word. Both of us are walking to nowhere around their neighborhood. The walk is mostly quiet. I try to talk about various things, but Sienna doesn’t seem interested or won’t even try to be. Usually, we’d walk side to side, our arms brushing against each other. But this time is different. There’s an unwanted gap between us. Why?

Even though I was supposed to ask her why she hasn’t been replying to my chats, I end up not doing it. At least not yet.

“So, your senior’s night is gonna be two weeks from now, right?” I ask.

“Mhmm,” Sienna replies.

“Awesome. Bet it’s gonna be fun,” I comment. “Want me to take you home when it’s done?”

“Ah…” Sienna says weakly. It’s obvious she’s not interested, but I’m trying my best.

“Ayt. So, Ross and the guys were planning on gathering at his place by then. Can I hang out with them while waiting for you? I promise I won't drink. Not even a single sip,” I bargain. Sienna is quiet. She’s not looking at me, not even a bit, and I feel kind of stupid for talking nonsense.

I wait for a while, hoping she’d come around. But to no avail, Sienna stays completely silent.

“Babe?” I say.

Sienna sighs heavily, looks at me real quick, and then looks away. Defeated, I also sigh. “Babe, I’m sorry for blabbing s**t that I know you don’t want to talk about. But I’m at loss here. Please tell me what’s wrong. You haven’t been replying to my messages at all.”

She looks at me, her eyes are dilated and her brows are looking weak. I frown. “Sorry... If you don’t want to talk about it, it’s fine. I’m willing to listen whenever you—”

“You do know I’m going to Cebu for college, right?” Sienna interrupts.

I blink. My brows furrow. That came out of nowhere.

“I know,” I say as I hold Sienna’s hand. “And I completely understand that you really want to go there. I’m going to do my part and do my best for the incoming school year so that I’ll graduate and catch up to Cebu for Uni.”

Sienna rolls her eyes. “Uni,” she scoffs.

I raise a brow. “Yeah. Uni, the place where I’m going once I finish the 12th grade. Why?”

“Nothing. You’re too young to understand anyway,” Sienna says.

“Too young?” I ask. “Sienna, we’re one grade apart. How am I too young for something that involves you?”

“Can we not discuss this now?” She replies, taking her hand from my hold. My shoulders tense

“Why? You haven’t talked to me since you’ve been on that trip to Cebu. Babe, just tell me what’s up,” I beg.

Sienna stayed silent. She turns, making her back facing me. Her arms are crossed. My chest feels heavy all of a sudden, and my shoulders drop. Did I overdo it with the confrontation? I scratch my head and sigh.

"Sorry. It's fine if you don't want to talk about it. I'll just... I'll go," I say.

Sienna turns her head slightly and looks at me. Her eyes have softened.

I fake a small smile. "Talk to you later then."

She nods her head, and I walk back to my car.

Once I was ready in the car, I drive as far as I possibly could. I was in the quiet part of the city. There weren't any tall buildings around, no houses— just a few streetlights and a fresh green field. I stopped the engine, but my hands are still on the steering wheel. Sighing, I lay my forehead on the steering wheel.

I was probably wrong to force myself on Sienna like that. I don't know. But I don't want to pretend that everything is okay because I care about her, about us. So why did Sienna act like I was doing something bad?

Or was I really wrong to care?